All Comments on 'Bad Pregnancy'

Thank you, made me remember the good times I spent in Turkey.

Bad writing. This is intolerableShuchs, you took three pages to explain her two-page letter. WTFIT?

Summarize and condense, and tell a better story.

This site is the first audience I've had for most of my writing, so I haven't had anyone to give me constructive criticism up to this point. As for the letter part, I agree I could have done it better, maybe by just quoting the text of the letter, instead of trying to explain what it said. And, that would have fixed another issue that others have already commented on, the lack of actual dialog, except the dialogs inside my head, when I'm "living through" these things.

Most people wouldn't pick up on it, but POV character's wife told him to get a better camera at the BX. To me, this says he was American military stationed at a base in Turkey, and being military he's subject to the UCMJ.

Under the UCMJ's definition of adultery, any married person getting some action outside marriage (even with the explicit consent of their spouse), or a single getting it on with a married person, is committing an offence with maximum punishment of dishonourable discharge. This is a serious matter - loss of all GI benefits AND the equivalent of a felony conviction for some purposes (such as a ban on firearm ownership).

Would have been a big improvement to send him shopping at a location that wouldn't have shown him to be military, and therefore making his actions a crime.

Active Duty military are not the only people on a military base. Most bases now have contractors doing base support tasks, and contractors are not subject to the UCMJ. Besides, adultery is only ever prosecuted when there is a victim, like the spouse of another military member. As long as soldiers are discreet, and don't destroy someone else's marriage, the military really doesn't care. I know plenty of swingers in the military and none of them are in jail.

I liked this story. I did not know how to rate this. So went ahead to the comments. Then I rated it 5 stars. Because I like authors to interact in the comments. Also to be willing to listen and improve. Or listen and argue your point. You did both. Thanks.

I once read an author's "how to" article on this site (Literotica) about the need for dialog and how to use it. I have started reading more than one story and, when I realized it was being told with narration (like this story) rather than dialog, just abandoned it. I realized it in this story also, but stuck with it because the subject was interesting and the writing good. But I was especially disappointed at not getting to read his wife's letter. Note that in proper dialog, changing speakers requires a new paragraph. And that going to the next paragraph without changing speaker entails no quotation marks at end of first paragraph. (And each succeeding paragraph as long as speaker does not change). Helps me keep track of who is talking.

Would like to know if the wife's views on sexual helpers for hubby reflect Turkish customs. Or are they contrived for story?

Thanks for allowing anonymous comments. Even the identified are anonymous because they are pseudonyms. My anonymous are identified because I sign myself

Paul in Oklahoma

could a marriage as this deserve saving, TK U MLJ LV NV

No

Wife and I Had 6 kids and had no problem with sex. Up to Last few days every time.

So no first hand experience

Had friends who wether war, sickness,or other could not have sex period

They cuddled,kissed, And otherwise went on with life without sex. Like alcohol or drugs some people have will power and others don't