Bambi's Separate Worlds Ch. 04

It was tough being away from you, particularly so for the first few weeks. Your letters sustained me and kept me from losing my nerve. I thank you for that because by then the pain was overwhelming and the number of painkillers they were giving me, overpowering. I found myself sleeping nearly day and night. I dreamed continuously that first week they upped my pain medication. Those dreams were filled with you, and the good times we shared together. Our first date, proposing to you, our honeymoon and the births of our boys. You brought me more joy and happiness than you will ever know. I just hope I was able to make you feel as loved as you did me.

I talked my attending doctor into allowing me to skip my pain medicine to give me the clarity of mind to write this. To provide me with one more lucid moment to share with you how I love you more than words can describe. You were always the reason for me to take my next breath, my joy, and my happiness.

Please don't allow your grief to pollute the life you've found with Rachel. And please, give my snot-nosed, pain in the ass, little cousin, a hug and kiss for me. Tell her I love her and thank her for more than capably stepping in and giving you your happiness back. And apologize to her for me. I was wrong and should have taken her feelings into account. She deserved far better.

My final thoughts will be of you.

All my love,

Robert

I read the letter through twice more as tears streamed down my face. Despite them, I felt at peace for the first time since being informed of Robert's death. The ache was gone, and the weight lifted. My husband had loved me enough to let me go and to ensure I was taken care of, and his last thoughts had been of that love. I wouldn't taint his efforts by wallowing in grief anymore.

I handed the letter to Rachel and stood up, looking at the three women still observing me. Smiling at them, I said, "I'm going to fix lunch. What are you ladies hungry for?"

Lacey followed me over to the kitchen to help me prepare things. She chopped lettuce and vegetables for a salad while I made some fresh tuna fish and put some tea bags in a pot on the stove.

Meanwhile, Claire had joined Rachel over on the couch, and the two of them were hunched over Robert's letter devouring its content. When they finally did join us in time to carry everything to the table for lunch. It was evident that they had been crying. Both women's eyes were puffy and swollen. No mention of the letter was made throughout our meal.

Only when I was able to assure Claire that I felt better than I had since learning of Robert's death, did she and Lacey say their goodbyes. I hugged and kissed Lacey, thanking her for taking time off from work out of concern for me. I reiterated how fortunate I was to have her as a friend and a family member.

When Claire wrapped her arms around me, she said, "He loved you so much, Mom. He did what he honestly thought was best for you based on love. Most people can only dream in life of having someone that cares for them enough to go to those lengths."

I squeezed her back and said, "I know, Claire. He was an exceptional man." Tapping my chest, I told added, "He'll always be alive right here. No matter what, I'll always love him."

When they were gone, Rachel took me in her arms and kissed me tenderly. Looking in my eyes, she said, "Promise me, Bambi, give me your word that you're okay."

I let out a small laugh. It was a strange sound in my ears after the tumultuous events of the last couple of weeks. I don't think anyone had heard it since the night of Robert's death. Smiling at her, I said, "Yes, my love. I'm good. Reading that letter was medicine for my soul. It was like he knew I would need something to get me through the darkness." I paused, thinking of the man I'd spent well over half my life with and added, "He always knew just what I needed to take care of me." I looked at her to make sure she knew what I was talking about.

Rachel's eyes teared up. She caressed my cheeks and softly kissed my lips and said, "I love you, and I promise that I won't let down his trust in me. I plan to see to it that the rest of your life is as full of excitement and fulfillment as possible."

I returned her kiss and then asked with a hidden interest, "What time is your next class?" We hadn't made love in several weeks. My grief and anger had been so complete that I'd been unable even to entertain the prospect. But with the darkness suddenly lifted from my heart, I felt a sudden and familiar craving for the beautiful creature in front of me.

Rachel shook her head and answered, "When I got Grace's call, I found someone to cover for me for the rest of the day. I wanted to be here with you."

Wrapping my arms around Rachel's neck, I pulled her into me and hungrily took her bottom lip into my mouth, sucking on it. I snaked my tongue into her open mouth, where it quickly found hers. We allowed them to dance together, sometimes in my mouth and sometimes in hers. When at last, our lips separated, I slowly slid to my knees and said, "Permission to speak Mistress?"

She looked down at me at first with surprise and then with evident arousal. It would have been nothing for her to sate her lusts with another of the Mistress's or subs. But she hadn't done that to the best of my knowledge. She had waited for me to come through my grief patiently, and it made me love her all the more.

"Yes, you may," she said as she stared down at me with hunger.

"I know you've been patient with me, Mistress. I've felt your love for me in the way you held me and the soft words you spoke to me when I'd become overwrought with emotion. It was overly evident when you fought to find me the answers I needed when we were so unsure of what happened. Most of all, it was abundantly clear in how you set aside the normal parameters of our relationship to just be my girlfriend." I told her with as much love as I could. "But now, Mistress, I desperately need you to reclaim me as yours. I need to serve you and pleasure you. I need it like I need to breathe, please," I begged her.

"Why are your clothes still on my pet?" Rachel asked sternly yet with a twinkle in her eyes.

Smiling up at her as I began to unbutton the shirt I was wearing, I said, "Sorry, Mistress." After my shirt and bra were quickly disposed of, I slid down on to my ass and made fast work of my pants and underwear. Folding my things neatly, I reached up and put them on the dining room table and then assumed the service position. A thought struck me, and I looked down at my left hand. Hesitating only slightly, I removed my engagement and wedding rings. Bringing them to my mouth, I kissed both and set them carefully on top of my clothes.

Rachel watched me intently. Staring at her with love and desire, I couldn't help but see the tears roll down her cheeks at my final act. I watched as she slowly walked over to the chesterfield cabinet that stood against the wall and reached into the drawer she kept my collar and leash in.

Minutes later, with her settled onto the couch and my face contentedly ensconced between her legs, I knew the next chapter of my life had begun.

Our collaring ceremony was held three weeks later to a full accompaniment of the members currently a part of our group. The only thing I wore were two gold hoops through my freshly pierced nipples. In my bellybutton rested the diamond from the engagement ring Robert had given me. Though I'd felt the desire to remove them from my finger, it felt good having them a part of me again. They'd been a surprise from Rachel as had the piercing appointment.

My gift to her had been a tiny tattoo of Bambi just above my clit. In a neat cursive script just above the image were the words, "Property Of Mistress Rachel."

Now a collaring ceremony was one of the few times these women could get together without it descending into a scene out of Caligula. That's not to say there wasn't an occasional sub dragged off to a private corner to service one of the Mistress's. Things were just kept on a much lower key than they usually would have been.

Much like a wedding, we each swore vows to each other. Mine spoke of submitting myself to her in full and forsaking her nothing. They talked of love and the desire to meet her every need, both mentally and physically. I pledged to spend my life with her and said while others may, at times, possess my body, no one else would possess my heart.

Rachel committed to love and care for my every need. She swore to support me in all aspects of my life. Most touching to me was her promise to live up to Robert's request that she strive to see to it that my life was filled with love and fulfillment.

Of course, not only did I receive a kiss from my new partner in life, but also from every Domme and sub present. I was now a full-fledged member of their community.

The plan all along had been for us to get away with friends for some fun in the sun. Olivia and Candy had agreed right away to enjoy the two-week vacation with us. I badly wanted Lacey and Grace to be able to travel with us as well. It seemed impossible with my granddaughters to consider. Candy was their usual babysitter and would, of course, be on the trip herself. We all agreed their father was unfit to be in their presence, much less responsible for their care.

It seemed hopeless until I mentioned the situation to Ryan over the phone. He'd called to inform me that he was dating a woman, and how it had gotten serious. Like him, she was a teacher though in a lower age group. She was just a couple of years out of college but seemed to have captured my son's heart. He was really interested in introducing her to me, which warmed my heart. I invited him to either make the trip up the week before we left on our vacation or the week after we got back.

It wasn't until I mentioned that Claire and Lacey would not be able to join us on our trip, that Ryan suggested he and Amber, his new love, stay the two weeks with the girls. He said he'd barely had time in the last couple of years to spend with them, so this would be an excellent chance to get reacquainted. With both he and Amber being teachers, and like Olivia, out for the summer, it seemed a natural fit.

Rachel and I met the couple at the airport. Ryan looked nervous, yet happy to see us. After giving me a big hug and kiss, he stepped aside and introduced both Rachel and me to his new love.

Amber was of average height with a very trim and athletic figure. She had long wavy brown hair and a pretty face. I noticed just a smattering of freckles across the bridge of her nose that gave her attractive features added character.

Ryan introduced Rachel as my partner. I saw nothing in Amber's gaze that gave even a hint of negativity. She greeted us both with warm hugs and kissed both our cheeks as if she'd known us for a lifetime.

We talked briefly on the ride back home about our trip, their flight, and what they'd like to do for dinner tonight. Once we'd agreed just to order a pizza and take the time to get to know one another, the conversation turned to Claire and the girls.

Amber seemed fascinated by the turn of events in both mine and Claire's lives. I was sure that Ryan had filled her in on my story but thought it best to leave it to Claire to share what details she was comfortable with. I simply went with the old adage that the heart wants what it wants while gazing over at Rachel and taking her hand.

It wasn't until later that evening when Rachel had pleaded exhaustion and excused herself for sleep, that Amber and I truly got to know one another. Ryan had dozed off next to her on the couch as she and I enjoyed a glass of wine.

We were discussing her college years when she casually mentioned going through a brutal break-up with her longtime college girlfriend during her senior year.

"We'd been together for almost two years. I thought I knew Bridget, that was her name, like the back of my hand. I could tell you about her mood from a glance. I knew all her favorite things and could tell you about her future plans and the places she wanted to visit. I thought I was in love and that we were destined to be together." Amber explained.

"I was looking at pictures on social media one night of someone's new baby and mentioned how I so wanted to have one in the future. That's when without even looking up from the book she was reading, Bridget told me that if I did, I'd be doing it with someone else." Amber said as she took a sip of her wine.

"Wow," I said, "that had to be a shock."

Amber shrugged and said, "It was an eye-opener for sure. Maybe I just wanted to be a mom one day, but I started to see all kinds of faults in her after that. She could be selfish in the bedroom and tended to skate through her half of the chores. She didn't tip very well in restaurants and thought volunteering for charities was a waste of her precious time."

"So, you ended it?" I asked.

Amber laughed and said, "You'd think, right? No, I was one of those girls who thought she could change her mate and make them all better."

I watched her as she took a drink and stared into the bottom of the glass. At first, I thought she'd decided to end the conversation there. After a moment of further hesitation, she went on.

"I spent the next two months trying to be the perfect girlfriend and lover while slowly and very subtly working on what I saw as her weaknesses. I thought we were making progress when I found out she was fucking the TA in one of her courses. It had apparently been going on for some time. I moved out the day I found out."

"Ouch," I said, "that sounds like it was painful."

Amber laughed and said, "Yeah, well, she tried to convince me that it was just sex and meant nothing. My response was if that was true, then why did she hide it for so long? I'm not a prude. I wouldn't have had a problem with adding a third to our bed on occasion. She had no answer for that."

"So, I assume you're bisexual?" I asked her.

Amber smiled and said, "Pansexual is how I usually describe myself. It means I generally fall for the person and not their sex. I've dated both genders and even became enamored with a beautiful transgender girl early during my sophomore year of college." Looking over at my sleeping son, Amber added, "Ryan is the first man I've ever fallen in love with. He's so sweet and caring and always puts me first. I've never been with a man like him before."

The love in her eyes was evident as she stared over at the form of my sleeping son. Still, knowing the temptation I'd undergone in my marriage, I felt I had to look out for my son.

"Amber," I said while thinking of the best way to ask my question without offending her.

"What happens if the two of you get married, and you start feeling the desire to be with a woman. Because speaking as someone who fought that urge through almost twenty-eight years of marriage, I can tell you it's not easy." I admitted.

Finishing off her glass of wine, Amber said, "That won't be an issue with us. Ryan thinks it would be wrong of me to deny myself that part of me. He says if I ever meet a woman I'm drawn to, that he wouldn't expect me to have to deny that side of my sexuality. He's made me promise him that I won't do that."

Confused as to what exactly she was saying, I asked, "How would that work?"

Amber looked up towards the ceiling as if recalling from memory. After a moment, she said, "Well, Ryan says if that happens, he would be more than willing to give me a date night a week to indulge that side of myself. His only requirement was that I always return home to sleep with him."

Looking over at my son, I thought at that moment of just how much he reminded me of his father. I just hoped the future that lay in front of him would be much kinder than fate had been to Robert.

Pouring each of us another glass of wine, I asked her, "Has that happened since you two got together?"

Amber shook her head and seemed to carefully consider her words, "I... I've always been attracted to a very particular type of woman. Not just anyone catches my attention in that regard."

More curious than ever, I asked, "What type of traits are we talking about? If you don't mind me being nosey."

Amber giggled lightly and said, "Not at all. I've always been attracted to dark-headed women with olive skin tone. It's more than her looks though... she has to have a, well, strong personality, so to speak."

It took me a moment to grasp the meaning just underneath her words, but I couldn't help but smile when I did.

"A domme, you mean?"

Amber's eyes opened wide in surprise. She was obviously shocked that I knew what she was speaking about. Leaning towards her, I asked in a low voice, "That is what you're speaking of, isn't it? You're a submissive with a woman. You like to have a woman who's both physically attractive and willing to dominate you."

Amber slowly nodded her head, quickly looking over at Ryan's sleeping form. "I can't explain it. I just love it when a woman I'm attracted to treats me like a slut. I feel safe submitting to a woman, whereas I'm not sure I could ever feel that way with a man. It's a release for me. Always having to be on point with my students and still having to be in charge, it's a lot of pressure. Being able to give up control and allow a woman to take charge of my pleasure is a huge release."

I laughed, drawing her surprise. Waving my hand to assure her I wasn't laughing at what she said, I replied, "I know what you're saying. I'm submissive, and Rachel is my Mistress."

With a look of awe in her eyes, Amber asked, "Does Ryan know?"

I shook my head and told her, "No, we thought the lesbian thing might be enough news for him to handle." I stood and walked over to the chesterfield. Reaching into the drawer, I took out the permanent collar I'd been awarded at mine and Rachel's collaring ceremony. Walking back over to the couch, I sat down across from Amber and held it out for her to see.

"This is the permanent collar Rachel gave me at our commitment ceremony.

Sitting forward, Amber asked, "Can I hold it?"

I handed it to her, Amber took the collar and studied its design. It was made of platinum and was simple yet elegant. There were no sparkling gems embedded in its surface. The only hint of ostentation was an engraved Celtic infinity symbol that had been inlaid with gold. It was centered over the D ring. Amber traced the design with her finger before handing it back to me.

"Why aren't you wearing it?" Amber asked me.

I shrugged my shoulders and said, "Rachel, and I thought it might lead to a lot of questions from your boyfriend if he saw his mom wearing a submissive collar. So she gave me permission to take it off."

"You should definitely wear it. When Ryan told me the story of how you and Rachel came together, he was proud. Not just at the selflessness of his Dad, but the way you stood up to his brother and helped save your daughter-in-law. When I told him about my past, he didn't judge me. He was accepting of it. He will be of you and Rachel as well." Amber said as she handed me back my collar.

"Do you love my son?" I asked her.

Amber smiled at me and then looked at Ryan, gently rubbing his knee. "More than anything. As odd as it sounds, I like my men protective of me yet sweet and gentle when it comes to the bedroom. I like them to be good listeners and to be intelligent. A man has to be a romantic to catch my attention. Ryan checks all those boxes. I hope one day soon he will want to marry me and give me babies that we can raise together."

Placing the collar around my neck, I closed the clasp making sure not to catch my hair in the mechanism. When the lock snapped shut, I felt my body relax. I'd felt naked without Rachel's gift. Looking over at Ryan's pretty girlfriend, I said, "Promise me, you won't meet some dark-headed domme and decide to run away with her. I can see in the way my son looks at you that you mean the world to him. Don't hurt him." I said sternly.