All Comments on 'Banished Pt. 11'

Glad to see the group out of the blighted grove. How did Nate not see this ambush coming? Has he never seen a western shootout? Also, did Palancar "infuse" the former wife of Hans into Vanessa making her like Jasper? And what did she mean she has more toys, is she controlling this person like a remote controller? And again the Princess showing why she is Queen of all Queen Bees. No energy, no problem, I'll just absorb everyone elses & reverse mind control my enemy. Too bad i think she really over did it this time. I fear her feedback poisoning will keep her out of action for quite awhile. Also, did i misread that part, i thought Raul missed a disc & got obliterated so how was he there to off the Kobalt Monster? At any rate, now Nate's group has a new armor set & disc launcher weapon, that should make hunting the Aufhockers easier.

Lol! It was the kobalt Hunter who was obliterated, not Raul, though rereading that part I do see how that could be misunderstood. :S Vanessa realized that Raul and Nate were deflecting the discs pretty easily, so she went after someone who they were both too far from to protect.

As for the ambush, Nate did see the signs but he decided to go along with things and see how it would play out mostly from an arrogant belief that the Kobalt couldn't possibly hurt him. :S The artifact used in his assassination attempt sure gave him a reality check though! He was also thinking that moving the caravan with the injured would be too difficult, and they would have to defend their position for the night anyway.

Glad to hear that you're enjoying the series. :)

-Kousaka

I'm greatly enjoying the story but i'm starting to loose track of who some of the caracters are. Would it be possible to ad short summaries to the end of each chapter?

@mrfrodmar. There's a character cheat sheet available on my patreon page (public post, no pledge needed to access) linked below:

https://www.patreon.com/posts/38827124

I'd rather not attach these to the end of the chapters, but if another way to make it accessible comes to mind, I'll consider it.

She's vomiting blood...crap. She absorbed so much energy the feedback is going to kill her, isn't it?

Clearly Nathan made a huge mistake letting Vanessa stay behind. Palancar will never leave them in peace now. And the group has already taken so much damage and they still haven't even encountered the *first* of the *three* portents the company is sending at them! Oh dear.

Love your work.

-Anubelore :-)

Yes, you are correct upon re-reading the chapter i did miss the line about the kobalt hunter. And I feel rather embarrassed about it considering that it was clearly stated.

Also, with the re-reading I am left with several more questions:

1) What is Palancar doing with a herald or maybe lesser-herald? It is obvious that the herald that attacked Nate's group is Jacinda, but how did she become a herald & how many more like her is Palancar hiding. It is safe to assume there are more based on Vanessa's parting comment.

2) I believe Vanessa was "controlling" Jacinda via some kind of "pledge like control." However, if my assumption is correct doesn't that mean Vanessa herself needs to be a monster? If she is, so much the worse for Palancar.

3) Cathasaigh stated previously that severe feedback could cause paralysis or atrophy in extreme cases for the Kobalt. I hope such will not prove to be the case for the princess.

My remaining points run on the assumption that Vanessa is now a monster:

4) If vanessa has been turned does that put Eradne & her twins lives in jeopardy?

5) It now seems possible that the Princess's use of the term "Cursed" or Eradne's "Rot" could be swapped for "Blight." If that is so, then who could be causing the blight & who could've turned Vanessa?

6) There is one big bad that has been named three times in this story so far. Could she be the one influencing Palancar's very uncharacteristic behavior, turned Vanessa & making/ harboring Kobalt heralds?

And as a side question will Nate's group be running into the Elves & Lizard people?

And finally a shameless promotion, Lucilla is quickly making her way to my 3rd favorite character. Currently, my favorite is (as she always has been) the Princess. I've recognized her greatness from the start as i stated in a previous comment. In a very close 2nd place is Cameron, her leadership abilities are 2nd only to Nate & i suspect if she wasn't constantly being held back we'd find her combat abilities could probably rival Francesca (dont ever mess with a pregnant woman/mother). Previously 3rd was a tie between Eradne & Danica, but i think they just got bumped to 4th.

Loved this chapter. Lots of wonderful advancements in the plot and storyline. We've gotten ourselves 5 separate antagonists that the readers know about, but only 2 reveled to the group. So exciting. Really glad how some of the abilities don't take much to learn how to use them, but most seem to be keyed more towards practice and aptitude. Nathan's line wondering about other easy to learn and use abilities having a huge impact on their lives was fantastic, really loving his constant outward and forward thinking.

I titled my comment as such, because when Casey said feedback, I was able to understand the general intent behind it, but when Nathan jumped to nuclear energy, and Casey confirmed with mentioning radiation poisoning right off the bat I was taken back a bit. When I hear feedback, I think speakers and microphones, not atomic decay and fuel rods. So I suppose this chapter gave some more insight into the characters backgrounds, for the two of them to be so in synch about that. Or just showcases my own lack of information. Casey makes perfect sense, as she's got lots of "company" knowledge baked into her, but it was interesting to learn that Nathan has at least a conversational awareness of that topic or I've forgotten some obvious things in all the time and craziness of life. ^.^ Or perhaps the author made a slight slip up in revealing something about themselves. Fine either way, just thought I'd mention it.

To continue, I'd like to give an opinion about Nathan's main skill. And I don't mean his Mirroring. His ability wasn't called Seductive Touch, or Incubus Touch, but Lover's Touch. Someone that is a 'true' lover is more than just someone that gives pleasure to their partner. They care about making them happy and healthy ~imo. So while, and especially after that finale scene definitely alludes to the possibility that the princess just happened to offload some of her sickness passively, I'd like to imagine that it was Nathan's nature and skill that pulled the affliction from his woman.

After all the teasing this chapter had, I'm really wanting the group to have a bit of time to rest, at least to get another orgy. They've earned it, even if its not 'noteworthy' enough to spell it out for us the readers, it kind of feels like the character's have earned a break. Not just a "not currently being hunted" break, but a fun-times break. ^.^ Because things aren't going to be easy with all the things aligned against them. Gods man be slow to bleed, but they die the same.

@jpz007ahren. Firstly, I really enjoy hearing your commentary. :)

As for the thing with feedback/nuclear energy, back in chapter 7, when Nate had asked Casey about the Kobalt's reluctance to use their weapons, Casey had first mentioned feedback, and when asked what the effects were, she replied by saying 'the effects are usually consistent with the symptoms of radiation poisoning; headaches, nausea, vomiting. If the item is high powered, however, you could suffer temporary loss of limb functionality, or, in extreme cases, muscle petrification'. I'm not sure that Nate would have jumped to nuclear energy without that interaction, as while he is pretty smart, he has more of a business background than a science one, at least based on his formal education.

@anon. I'm really enjoying your questions as well, though I think you know that I only answer them selectively based on what would be spoilers and what wouldn't be. Lol! As for whether the group will be encountering the Elves/Lizardfolk, it is my intention that they will, plus many more. They are intended to all have their own unique cultural aesthetics, though much like the Kobalt who are only really known as 'goblins' due to their green skin, my intention is to portray them all as unique alien humanoid races, as the fantasy terms by which they are known is merely the company's attempt to frame this whole world in a 'fantasy adventure' narrative rather than the reality of what it is.

Much thanks to everyone else who reads/comments. :)

Regards,

Kousaka~

Palancar's making moves pretty openly now. From what I gathered, Vanessa somehow gained the ability to posses that woman? the comment about more toys to play with says that this wasn't a one time thing. Palancar has some explaining to do. they cast out the princes because she helped the humans. now they are in league with Vanessa, committing the same crimes. make up your mind! all of that aside, this is very realistic, people changing the rules, but only when it suits their goals.

For a psychopath, Nate shows some serious restraint, but that could just be due to the fact that he is extremely goal orientated right now, and any Kobalt he kills would be detrimental to that. It has also been fun following his thoughts as he is clearly manipulating those around him. does he care about the well being of these people, sure, but he will do whatever it takes to give them the best chance, and not lose a bit of sleep over those decisions to trick and play people as he sees fit.

Only read to chapter 11 but can you please kill off Bianca. She is annoying and needy as f##k and has been from the beginning. On top of that she is so demanding and useless. What's worse is instead of Nate shutting her down, he indulges her.

Holy flying hellcats, this story has me hooked. What a great storyteller this author is. I have read a few longer stories in this site, but can't remember one that had me as invested as this has.

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I had my doubts about Bianca's usefulness, but his patience with her is starting to pay off. I doubt that his little racist project with Leandra will end as well, but if he was as ruthless in eliminating all their potential enemies, they would likely just make more of them. My only tiny quibble is all the "snickering" on every page, but at least he isn't "smirking" on every page like in some stories. This doesn't change how good it is overall, because it's all 5s across the board so far.

I think this moment lost a lot of tension for me because you could see it coming from a mile away, I'll admit I enjoy this story for what it is. A fun little sexy romp through another world, the plot holes are plenty, but not so massive they can't be glazed over. My problem is still the fact that "white knight" and "psychopath" can't be the same person. Logically and tactically you never leave an enemy Ali e that can stab you in the back, but that's really all Nate does, he's more emotionally sensitive than anyone else in this story.

At this point I kind of just ignore that he says he's a psychopath and just picture him as the typical white knight protagonist and it's a little easier to get through.

Overall it's a good story, a few technical errors here and there, and the pace is still incredibly slow, but it's picked up a little bit which is nice.

re: anon

I agree that Nate is probably not a psychopath, but rather a sociopath. The terms are incorrectly used interchangeably, but before they were both merged into antisocial-personality-disorder in the DSM they were distinct. A psychopath will do monstrous things to fill some inner desire; think most serial killers, alot of rapists and sadists etc. A sociopath will do the same monstrous things for an outer motivation - to impress someone, gain power, money etc., so think politicians (most modern US Presidents show some signs of sociopathy), wall street types. Of course, there are ALOT of people with either condition who will never commit a crime in their lives - it depends on upbringing, self-control, general luck in life etc.

I snickered a little.

Have to agree with an earlier commenter. You use that word far too often. It's also not a good thing to have Nathan do. I checked out the definition, just to be sure. "To give a half-suppressed, typically scornful laugh." Are you really describing Nate as scornful?

I really like the story, but every time I encounter a snicker, it breaks immersion for me. I have to concentrate to get back into it.

Great yarn. Thank you.

One minor point: breasts are NOT fatty mounds.

fatty describes a pork chop or other meat which is of poor quality and has not been properly trimmed.

They may be fat mounds, swollen mounds, beautiful mounds, or similar, but are never 'fatty'.

It is an egregious and annoying error.

- Vadar (this stupid site won't let me login properly...)

yeah Aspern Essling..a snicker here, a snicker there a friggin snicker everywhere...certanily breaks the mood. I guess our author can't stop himself. It's gotten so bad I've started to count them. Still an enjoyable story , then he snickered.

Enjoying the story!

Agree with some that the only reason anyone would think Nate a psychopath is because folk SAY he is, but not from his actions. In some ways kind of minor but talked about so much it's distracting.