All Comments on 'Banished Pt. 14'

Previously, Eradne had stated that if the matron died before the new princess had her own daughter, then Palancar would be leaderless until that requirement was fulfilled, regardless of how long that took. And if i recall correctly, only the matron can select a princess. So unless it just hasn't been stated yet, then Matron Lucilla was killed before she selected the next princess and that means the chain is broken. So is Palncar now a "dead" kingdom, forever to be leaderless? And if there is no princess for Eradne's children to serve, will she be coming to join Nate's group sooner? She could be at Grentze by the time Nate & Francesca return from thier trip.

I had to read the part w/ Jacinda twice, but it was clever how once she identified the Minion turning into Hans that she one a dime turned to, "OK, Hans wants you so i will assist by corrupting you, here take from me, you know you want to." If not for a "light" preventing him from touching a skill & Cameron being warned by a "voice" to stop him, causing her, Casey & Lucia to arrive & "wake him up" he would have become the very thing he has been fighting. At first, I thought it was Astrid, but she would've been quite capable of intervening on her own, so i had to be someone who couldnt. It would have to be someone who can reach Nate on a "mental or astral plane" and have the skills to speak to someone mentally, yet not be in a position to physically intervene & there is only one that fits and it is the Princess. Through out this story the Princess has been passively letting things happen unless they contradicted or interfered with what her overall goals are because everything else is worth her time or energy. however, on several occasions she has taken direct action. Getting Cameron over her insecurities & have a baby w/ Nate (she wants a Kingdom of Godlings) she also did the same w/ Casey, but that hasn't finished running its course. She directly defended Cameron from Hans to prevent the death of the Godling & God-Mate she helped create. Next she defended everyone from Jacinda, not only to protect the group that will be her subjects but also to protect Jacinda & the elevated reputation she had within Kobalt society. Finally she acted now, The Princess knows Nate will become an even bigger legend than Hans ever was or could be. She will not tolerate to be idle & allow him to become like Hans is now, or worse, a puppet to him. No, she did what she could to subvert Jacinda's attempt to corrupt him by running interference preventing him from touching her skills & influenced Cameron to arrive & rouse him to his senses. Even in a "coma" the Princess is showing she is perfectly aware of what is going on around her & showing why she is the most OP person in this group. Now if only she would heal & wake up.

There is a system in place for the selection of a new princess even with the matron's death, though I'd rather not spoil it since the narrative will get there in time.

Also, if this is the anon who sent the feedback about Cameron and Nolan, thanks for the suggestions. I tried to send a response but the reply address you left bounces back my emails. :S

Take care,

Kousaka~

Only thing I can complain about your writing, is the one thing you probably hear all the time...... I wish you wrote faster. Great story again, can’t wait for the next chapter.

Not everything in a pantheon is about violence or utility. Sex is quite a common niche that needs to be filled as well. We have a Green Lord as well. More uniquely, there is a Goddess of Fear, Shadows and Starvation~ But she isn't an evil one as many could imagine with those aspects. Going to be so awesome once everyone has found a role that they like and settled into their spot. I enjoy making lists on occasion, and listing out their godly aspects will be fun for me.

But before that, there is the story itself. Which continues to be fantastic. Finally our "Xena" gets to get some. So looking forward to reading that part play out.

Thank you for your story. Be well.

I’m utterly convinced that the author who penned this tale, is able to do so because he/she possesses a phenomenal imagination fueled by his/her intelligence, humor, mushrooms, marijuana, acid and a way with words that allows us (the reader), to go on this happy, sad, laughter, anger, inspiring, surprising, awe inducing, suspense filled adventure with him/her! To the author; out of respect for the literary gods, never, and I mean never stop writing and please consider selling e-books and sending this story out to publishing houses because it’s literary gold! I’d purchase a copy of each just to show my support! If you do go that route, separate them into a series and give glimpses of each character’s back stories much like you’ve done for Nathan. Also find a really good artist online (Facebook/Twitter) to do artwork for your characters, flora, fauna, monsters, etc and scatter those pictures throughout the book. Put a vast amount of work into both the book’s cover and the blurb telling what the story is about and don’t be afraid to be overly dramatic when doing it because those two things are what actually makes a person purchase a book, or not. Authors like you are why I’m such a voracious reader. May your imaginings of this story, flow as easily from your mind to your fingers; as the flow of water moves along the mighty Amazon.

Fantastic Story!

You have thoroughly entertained me for about a week now where I could hardly leave the screen, enthralled by the story and the world you are creating. You have a new fan and I am eagerly looking forward to more!

One small thing that I feel you might have addressed in the latest chapter or so but that was noticeable for me was a rather severe overuse of the word "snicker". This might only become obvious once pointed out but you might let your characters laugh, chuckle, guffaw, giggle, cackle and titter more during conversations. Your writing is really excellent in my non-native English-speaking opinion which makes such small repetitions stand out (not to make you self-conscious but Nate ruffles lots of hair all day long). An editor or a few beta readers might polish away the small imperfections :D

Anyways, thanks again. I might support you soon financially as well if the rest of your writing is similarly enjoyable. You definitely deserve it!

@Gregorius_Lightmouth

You and your buddies have been really persistent these past few weeks with this same comment, and I've ignored it because I really don't believe that any of you are actually interested in my writing, or you would know that I have addressed the use of repetition as a literary device in previous comments. But I am going to, against all of my better judgement, give you the benefit of the doubt, and give another explanation here.

The light novel style is not just about length or density of the work, but a style which makes for light, easy reading, and apart from throwing paragraphs out the window, one of the most useful tools to that end is repetition. And yes; INTENTIONAL use of repetition. Repetition trains the brain to easily identify a word and what it is being used to mean so that meaning is quickly understood, and the sentence easily digested.

So, let’s take your chosen example of snickering; all this means is that Nate is regarding something with amusement, or responding with a somewhat amused tone, and to that end I’ve used only two words; snicker, and chuckle. Snicker, because it gives off a slightly more sinister vibe that matches Nate’s persona, and chuckle for the situations where he feels at ease, and relaxed. And that’s it. That’s all it means. Yes, I know there are other words that can capture the nuances of the different kinds of laughs, but those nuances are also captured by the context of the scene, all of the other signifiers, and everything else that’s happening that comes together create meaning. Changing any one, single word doesn’t change that in ANY significant way; and everyone else gets it.

So I’m saying this one more time, and one more time only. If this bothers you so much, then ffs just stop reading my work, and tell the rest of your cronies to leave me alone too. Because the snickering isn’t going to stop, nor is the hair ruffling or whatever inane fucking shit you’re obviously going to develop a problem with in the future. Just deal with it, or fuck off? Pleaseeeeeee

Sorry!

I really enjoy your work and my comment was meant to reflect that. I have started to support you on Patreon as well. I was not aware of the other comments regarding your writing, mine was well-intentioned but probably over the top. You brightened some really dark days for me and I thought you might be interested in some feedback. Please accept my apology, I did not mean to come off as ungrateful.

Dad mode was the best part. Fuck Dexter, Nate is America’s favorite psychopath!

Lucia has really become my favourite character. It is so rare on this site to find a fully flushed out child character - instead its usually just an annoying sibling or a perfect child etc... most authors seem to think that because site rules (and, ya know, human fuckin decency) prevent children from sexual acts that they are therefore not worthy of a complete character. So it is really refreshing to read your development of this character. Her absolute determination and dedication to what she wants reminds me of my cousin's daughter.

Ugh he's so bad at managing his harem. What's this "most important person" and one true love crap with Bianca? Why go there? Harem MCs set expectations that they're all important etc. I'm forcing myself to keep reading past her scenes. /pointlesslatefeedback

It's really tough putting up with all the Femdom crap in this story. This 'Guy' will basically roll over for anyone geez even the little girl bosses him around FFS