All Comments on 'Banquet Two'

Ought to be a movie.

An easy five stars.

You are better than this. 1. The first page and counselor's office blow job scenes are something out of the mountain of very mediocre lw stories, 2. A lot of what you write about the legal profession to move the story along is nonsense, 3. The inclusion of the big cock myth suggests a real lack of experience and over exposure to porn. 4. The counseling trope is the refuge of mediocre writers, 5. Deploying the lw Martian Cuck-Out Ray at the end is used by poor writers to force a RAAC in spite of character development, and 6. We get the usual cliché of the bastard "disappearing" while the slut ultigets to have her cake and eat it too.

This could have been good. What a disappointment.

So she stayed working for a bunch of pimps that pimped her out to a client. How did she not feel like a prostitute after that disgusting thing. Guess that law firm don't have any fraternize rules. Not that there would be in a law firm or a smart one anyway lol

I liked the story, even if the ending was a bit soft in my opinion. Hubby should have drop kicked Mel to the curb - no matter how many times Will boned Linda. She’s a treacherous cunt. Even if Robert fell into the wood chipper, Mel will find another “special” man eventually. Past behavior is the best predictor of future behavior. Will got soft. He’ll eventually regret it. 4/5 BRB

This is way over-scored. It reads as if it's designed to thread the needle to please the cucks and drooling low T elderly, on the one hand, and the btb crowd on the other. Cliché ridden, formulaic, and, at times, preposterous...I've given you 5s before on several stories. Giving this one a 1 is generous.

Sorry. Lame ending. Reconciliation that is not believeable.

They were completely broken as a couple and then because he fucked a blonde bimbo they were suddenly back on track to a happy.marriage again?

Just a silly premise.

Long term monogamous partners and suddenly she is fucking a client? And he bangs the bimbo next door for a few weeks instigated by his wife to try and even the score. With the blessing of the therapist? And then the sex at the therapist office?

This whole thing seems insane, and this doesn't even touch on the abduction and assumed murder of the asshole seducer.

This fell flat for me. I didn't like it at all. Certainly not one of this author's best.

Thank God you remembered Robert at the end, even if only an afterthought. Still, writing a perfect murder is difficult.

I liked some of the story. Will's immediate response after he cautioned the cheater about screwing Robert. Also Robert's disappearance was very good. The parts that I felt were necessary but not believable was the Partners badgering Mel to well fuck Robert. Also the lack of moral aptitude by the daughter. "It was only one night"... Would love a peek in the future that had her future husband do what her slut mother did... Finally, Robert's disappearance; I wish it would have been less subtitle....

"But it won't be me. Ever again...... no way back, it's over, we're done....." on and on and on. But wait, it's a 'demander' story- all that's just talk. Of course they'll have sex again, and again, and with the neighbors. Demander is such a talented writer, with such good story lines, who simply can't get over the erotic part of this fiction website. As I've said before about his stories- if everybody's cheating, then nobody's cheating. Makes sense in a weird kind of way, but frustrating to read.

It was a well written story, but I thought Will just caved in about the divorce! All these people who say it's just sex forget that when a spouse cheats, they are disrespecting the other, especially when warned about the consequences, but still go ahead with it! Just because the wife gets the neighbour to screw him, should not make any difference and he still should of divorced her! I'm not against reconciliation stories, but the way this was told, I hated it. I can't make up my mind whether it's 2* or 3*.

If he had left her at the dance, it could have been a good story

Turned to crap as usual.

2*

Sorry, you jumped the shark with the scene in Mary's office.

She never seemed to have real remorse. She set her husband up with someone else which is just more manipulation. She was allowed to have her cake and eat it. A very unlikable person who did nothing to deserve a happy ending. While your writing is very good the end of this story did not sit well.

In the end Will is pussy whipped with no backbone to stand up for his own beliefs. 2**

3 stars - the legal crap was the first item that really destroyed this story. Then the ill-fated adultery episode, that was a no-brainer. The RAAC was an absolutely impossible idea - let alone a fact. The sex with Linda was so obviously a set-up, and the sex in the office was too ridiculous to even consider. The murder was best left undisclosed.

Demander knows how to spoil a decent story, and generally near the end. WTF??

A good entertaining story Thank you, 5*****

Love the start and the seduction. No way that I can see reconnecting with Mel . The ending didn’t work for me. He gets seduced by Linda and reconnects with his wife and Robert disappears never to be seen again. Why? Did he off him. Because his wife couldn’t keep her legs closed one night. And no investigation on him after so many knew his thinking.

If a Cuckold goes back to the disrespectful slut after the warnings, the full front alarm bell's,

" I will Kill Him and divorce your Cheating Slutty Arse " and you leave the story like that a RAAC with innuendo. Your nothing but a female writer that gets it's jollies from humiliation and scorn, probably a Lesbian with Daddy Issues and remembers so fondly those times he visited you at night.

Excellent !

I liked it very much

4 pages of good storytelling. Emotions, Anguish, etc. Ruinned by the ending. The characters have to be true to themselves. However, the storyteller/writer changed Will at the end. That makes the whole story a farce. Does not need to be BTB, but the ending sucks. There can be pain in divorce, on both sides. But it is true and not just a fairytale, which is what this story turned out to be.

I wonder if Robert is hiding under the ground at Will's new cabin in the woods?

I think you submitted part two before part one. Oops.

A year after Robert disappeared, Gloria the enabler was found dead with a bottle of pills, and a note apologizing for how she treated her husband. One by one, the senior partners had misfortune, accidents, and chronic illness. The counselor was dumped in front of the Emergency Room with her tongue removed. When Mel saw that on the news she asked Will “How long before it’s my turn?”

ZK

This had all the makings of a great BTB story. Unfortunately the “Forgiveness bug” infected the author and in the end it went soft? I like to think the ‘disappearance’ was somehow contrived by the wronged party! Hopefully after some prolonged physical pain on the predator. Perhaps it would have been nice for the cheating wife to have developed incurable cancer.

An all time great story. And I don’t say that lightly, I’m usually a curmudgeon about things like that. Even my favorite authors only rarely write what I consider to be great stories. Well done and thank you very much for this effort, great job!

Liked this one the husband actually had some balls. Nice story.

Demander had one good story - Big Decisions. Not without issues though.

The rest is garbage. This one is worse than garbage.

All the same - the average looking husband with an average dick that only wants his wife.

The wife who lasts for a tall suave guy with a big dick.

Too weak to resist. Cheats. Husbands divorces - wife inconsolable. Blah Blah Blah.

When do fucking realize that high intellect people do not behave that way?!

That women are not as weak as we men are?

That 80% of the dildos sold in the US are 5.5"?

I hate women with passion but it was pathetic.

For something that started as an excellent story it ended up being just another dumb cuckold story with RAAC ending.

Will is supposed to be the an observant person that never missing even the slightest change. Will should have know that Mel is coming home from working on Robert’s second trial sexed crazed for Robert, not him. Will should have serve Mel with divorce papers for irreconcilable differences while she was working on Robert’s second trail.

Will knew that Linda coming over was a set up and went along with it, him keeping his morals and rejecting her would have been a much better story. I started skimming at the point where he gave in to Linda’s advances.

Quality of the writing 4 stars for the first half of the story

Will fucking another woman and staying married to a selfish cheater, 1 star

Total score 1 star, the sex scene in the counseling session completely killed it.

Wonderful story, 10 stars! Ol' Bob finally got his,and Melody should have, too. The whore and her master! Will should have just found another woman, that would let only him put love pee in her pissy!

something about that story felt off. Will did threaten him with death but Robert didn't take that seriously and slept with his wife anyway.

The wife was a bit of a mess, she was warned but still gave in. Mel set Will up with the neighbor he was interested in, then threatens her off. Wife was repentant and did counselling but it's tough to see them getting back together. What happens when another irresistible client shows up?

I guess the characters and plot weren't as smooth as the writing (which was quite good)

Enjoyed the writing - disliked the ending…..

Why wouldn’t Will find another?

Thx’s for writing!

Next novel (Will) How to get away with ….

Jonathan Crisp uses an Apple. Love it.

And spends time at the Stayman in Winesap. Even better.

You must be a southerner. Stayman Winesap apples don't grow up north.

Love that Robeet is MIA. Bot so much that he took Mel back.

The ending is not up to the standards you have set.

I think my anger would not allow the first coupling to happen. I think I would make my spouse make the choice BEFORE she had the opportunity to fuck, like immediately after the banquet. And I think that if my wife really loved me, she'd NEVER let me feel like I'm second best in her heart or pussy.

He should NEVER have gone back to her: "But, you know, even if she didn't fall to him, it wasn't the same for us after she met him." So, find some other pussy and move on. That said, this reconciliation kinda felt plausible. On my second read, I liked the story a lot. It's mostly the build up. The payoff was underwhelmin, g: he went back with the person who hurt him and 2) never confronted the guy who cucked him. I'm not a lover of violence, so the "disappearance" seems really cowardly.

So, actually, now I kinda don't like this story much: The guy was cucked, took the bitch back, and never had the confrontation a real man would have with the lothario. I hope this isn't BTB cause this guy is a flat out loser.

It must be just me but, I wanted to know the details about Roberts disappearance, otherwise a 5* story.

I thought this was a well written story. Good narrative flow, dialogue, and characterization. However, I ended up not liking it due to the direction the story ended up taking. I feel a writer should have freedom to have the plot go where the writer wants it to...as long as outcome of the story is consistent w/ how the characters have been developed. The main character husband made very clear how hurt he was at being second best for his wife. The wife makes clear that the husband is second best at sex. If the wife ever walked that back, I missed it. I also never caught anything in the described therapy where the husband said he was okay with being second best. Yet, b/c he could have sex with his wife, he ended up staying with her, even though one of the last written about the couple is that the husban never trusted her! The husband character, as developed, didn't seem portrayed to be a man that would stay with someone he could never trust, and someone that thought sex with other(s?) is better. The part where I knew the wife (as described) was going to selfishly cheat was when the trial wrapped up, she had her daughter's graduation the next morning, and supposedly, a desire to be done w/ Robert. Yet, she stayed an extra night for the purpose of sex with him. I am not guessing about a character's actions, that is what the writer laid out. Yet this character, who was written up to that point as taking no nonsense, takes her back for a life of suspicion? If Demander wants to do RAAC, that's fine. Then don't add details like blowing off your child's graduation so you can fuck your crush. Also, for me, a RAAC only works if the wife has a compelling apology. As portrayed, the wife did the Marc Lavalliere move - sorry for hurting her husband but not sorry about the best sex of her life. The inconsistencies dropped this from a great story to 2 stars.

Loved the premise and you executed it well; though it went off the rails toward the end. I'm glad they stayed together.

Robert got what he deserved. Mel did not deserve reconciliation. Putting her sleeping with Robert aside, if she had been a better mother, she would have gone home that night and would have been at her daughter’s graduation. And she would have stayed faithful. Robert might have survived if she had done the right thing.

I do not read these stories with one eye on how many times the author misspelled a word. I read for the pleasure of the story. I always look at the comments and find it funny when 3 and 4 paragraph critics are left. If you want to write that much why aren't you posting your own stories. Oh you are like me cannot come up with original ideas.

A huge plot hole was the overlooked ongoing sexual harassment of one of the firm's lawyers by a client that everyone was warned about and the lawyer begged to not be exposed to.

Forcing Mel into that situation that destroyed her marriage would have very real repercussions for the firm if anyone was even paying attention.

I can't see Will, who was apparently remarkably vindictive, overlooking the damage he could do to the firm with little effort.

Mostly 5 star tale... a great slow burn. But the last segment with Linda and therapy and reconciliation.... just went unsatisfyingly sideways. It was like Will had a personality transplant and a totally different dude finished the story. Still, great read.

Revised my rating down to 1. Re read the ending and the scene at the therapist is preposterous and a poor RAAC at the end. He should have another revenge affair, one that doesn't have her had in it.

Why don't the two parts have the same title?

You should skip to the chase, and rather than editors, get a writer.

Good story well told

So Will accepts being #2 in her mind for the duration of the marriage. Always wondering if Mel is fantasizing about Robert while he's laboring in a futile attempt to measure up to her fabulous memories of that night. Fuck no.

Well written with a gripping story line. Will she or won’t she cheat, and then will he or won’t he forgive?

Five stars.

Mel treats it like a business proposition:

I got some strange on the side, so you get some in return, so now all’s well!

Potentially the most important scene is missing, namely the one where Robert meets his maker! I always prefer torture to murder, but an unpleasant end for the seducer will do fine. Please write a part 3 detailing that.

Also, why doesn’t Caleb get any of Will’s anger? There are people like him in every company and deserve to be cut down to size!

Lets see here;

Hubby tells wife no

Wifey knows the consequences if she does

Wifey does it anyway

This is where the story becomes unbelievable. In reality, this man, who the author drew a vivid portrait of, divorces wifey.She knew,she did it anyway in spite of the consequences. End of marriage period.

Good job Will. Is Robert at the bottom of the pond? Is Robert buried under the bedroom of the cabin? Inquiring readers want to know! HA! 5 stars

At this point I'm convinced that many LW authors have never met a live woman

There's no other explanation on how the hell do they write them SO grotesquely unnatural

Nice! The writing style and characters in the story kept me fully absorbed. 5*

Story could easily have been a 5. Gave it a 4, but wanted to give it a 1 for the last page. Forgive and forget is not possible to me. reconciliation would have taken much more time and still a major part of the marriage is still lost. First 80% awesome. Thank you

Lost me on page 5. zero stars. Pathetic ending period.

No, just no.

No. Just no. There is no way reconciliation is possible. After months of disrespecting Will, after treating him second best in her bed, after being warned repeatedly what would happen if she cheated, Mel did it anyway and trashed her marriage. If she is so smitten that she's sexually out of control and still willingly puts herself in these compromising situations, then this is just the first of her many affairs to come. There's is no way any self respecting man would take her back. The ending rates 2 stars. Your writing and prose are excellent age rate 5 stars.

Not worth the time to read it

And Will got his shaving kit together, looked in the mirror and said "Good morning loser...it's gonna to be another long day in Purgatory."

Absurdly over-scored.

Excellent!

Well written technically, but your characters were thin and frankly, a man who tells his wife no and she does it anyways needs to divorce her.

First, what was the first chapter for? Except for a few lines, you went over everything again in the second chapter, the first chapter was a complete waste of time. I did not like the story at all. There was no real emotion felt by any of the characters, even the kids. His parents are getting divorced and the kid makes a joke about sleeping, I don't think so. I found the whole story poorly written with cartoon characters.

Great story

A truthful account of Will's background could be 'the rest of the story' ... seems to me ... maybe Robert was broadcasting instead of tuning in, when Mel warned him off. Plus, what happened to Linda and her pudgy paramour?

There is only ONE option for a willing cheater- and you didn't do it.

So demeaning, I mean demander, is it NICE to know you're second in the sack dept, because I assume you write such a pathetic story for therapy.

Absolute YUCK! YOU COMPLETELY PUSSIED OUT!! She threw him a bone- he even acknowledges this- and he's good with that? No, COMMA, HELL NO! MC SHOULD HAVE told wife WAY early on that she needed to tell her bosses that either they get Robert off her ass or she would find another job. PERIOD. And MC after the initial swap suggestion needed to EFF Robert up publicly right there on the dance floor, and after he was down, whip it out and piss on the guy.

Tell me, cucky, how do you manage to get it up when you know she enjoys someone else SO MUCH MORE than you? I'm guessing it's the thought of getting a lovely cream pie, right cucky? Just so gross.

"I hated it, Will. Was she better that me?" Will was smart enough to keep his mouth shut."

Will's answer should have been "Oh, YES! So much! When you and I are together, I imagine I'm with her. In fact, that's now the only way I can even be with you. Haven't you noticed the difference?"

Let the skank wife have a little of her own medicine.

Marriage ruined with no return. You can forgive but intense pain you never forget.

@demander, submitting part 1 "a minute" before part 2 is too close. Wait at least a day, better, wait till part 1 actually posts.

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Why is Robert punished, presumably terminally, while the cheater gets a reconciliation? Robert never vowed fidelity.

I enjoyed this story a lot. Thank you!

The story ending shows that the husband is a wimp.I like your stories but this one is disgusting.

5 stars because it was very well written. The reality, unfortunately, is that the ‘Will’ character will ALWAYS be second best and he knows it. ‘Mel’ CHOSE another over him. She CHISE to be with ‘Robert’ instead of seeing her daughter graduate, which she easily could’ve done. She CHISE great sex over her family. She’d be gone.

It should not be a reconciliation in the end. Knowing that he is the second best, it will be painful pity life for husband. If that's what the intention for the Beta MC, then it's fine. But if the husband has pride, self respect and masculinity, he will never give up to her.

Sorry, no can do. If there was ever a bitch that deserved to be burned it was Mel the self--absorbed cheating skank slut.

Reconciliation really wasn't earned here. The wife treated him as 'heated up leftovers', and then tossed him some more leftovers in the form of the slutty neighbor. Months of him always being second in her mind, full of warnings and threats, and when he finally pulls the trigger when she completes her betrayal, he then takes her back? Sticking it out after just the proposal for the kids is one thing. Sticking it out after she has the fuck of her life is something else entirely. This story such a huge miss, as the MC was completely ruined by the backtracking. Plus, it really needs an editor. 1*

Terrible ending! He NEVER should taken her back! She will just do it again and hide it better.

Well written.

The reconciliation is not warranted nor was it deserved.

e

This story really resonated with me. I have reread it three times. I think it is how the author portrayed the emotions of Will and Mel. There is a lot of gut wrenching. Will is very interesting in his ability to be so attuned the things and people around him. Beneath the surface he a dangerous man. I believe he is responsible for Robert's disappearance. I particularly liked how the author never said that, but left it hanging out there at the end. Mel is a dichotomy. One one hand she is an intelligent and polished woman and on the other she naively allows herself to be seduced by serial womanizer.

Good story, fairly original approach, kept it to four stars because the writing was a little sloppy and I definitely didn’t love the ending.

Didn't work for me. Two stars.

Only good out come was a missing Robert. Will should have boned the neighbor, the marriage counselor then divorced Mel.

Good advice is rarely recognized by the morally corrupt. Just a fact of life.

Similarly, the bitch will never be alright; she will be toast, well-prepared for her upcoming reunion with Robert, her accomplice the lesbian family lawyer (are they ever not assinine dykes), and finally the ABC’s—for their role as whoremongers, for the bitch and their own company.

Hubby was an inert, but well-fucked, turd. His heart will give out within 6 months.

FUCK THEM ALL, JOINTLY AND SEVERALLY.

Probably my favorite if yours 5⭐️

Great story, it's just hard to take when the cheater wins in the end, y'kno? It sounded like what she did was cosmic, and universal while what she has with will is paltry. It was so good she fell in love with Robert for the 'gift' of letting him be with her. She wanted to do it for months and held it over her husband's head. Im NOT a BTB guy, but I like stories that end without the cheater winning. It's depressing when they do. She was desperate for Robert and Will has that knowledge forever. She chose another man over him.

She even told Robert he was better than her husband, she let another man feel superior...that's really fucked up. She chose another man over her husband

This ranks right up there with jezzaz's Out of Love for stories that develop reasonably well and then go absolutely sideways in the bottom of the ninth. It smacks of Harry Potter epilogue syndrome. You had an introduction that was, at once, boilerplate and infantile, matured well in the middle, but in your devotion to reaching what I have to assume was a pre-determined ending, you absolutely lost the fucking plot. You've seem to got a preoccupation with love-conquers-in-the-end climaxes, however contrived they have to be to get there, and it's really hurting you as an author. There's good work here, and in some of your other stories, but it's cheapened by the constant absurdity. Better luck on your future works. 2/5

In the end what difference does it make. She won't be fucking Robert any more, and if she's still a decent piece of ass and making good money, why not? Well, at least why not for now. Will knows he'll never be her main man ever again, just her only man, . . ., unless another Robert comes along in her life.

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But men age like wine, while women age like cheese. When Mel enters her cheese phase Will will remember Linda, and he just might meet another woman. Younger, more exciting, and now more capable than the drying hormonal Mel. Mel's best sex was with a man Will couldn't compete with. Wouldn't it be rich if Will's best sex happens because Mel can no longer perform as well? Mel went for the best sex partner she could get when she had the opportunity, so why shouldn't Will?

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This story begs for a sequel, even if it is the story of Mel selling the cabin after Will dies, and in the course of remodeling or landscaping the contractor discovers a shallow grave, maybe under the floor of the master bedroom. Or how about a year or two after Robert's disappearance, Mel receives a huge inheritance from Robert, and Will receives the video Robert took of fucking Mel into a coma. And then there's the subplot of Mel's daughter coming to her mother years after her marriage and telling her mother she now understands how a married woman can turn into a complete slut, for the right man, letting Mel know that her own adultery gave her daughter that final nudge to go for the gold cock. Yeah, So Many ways for this story to be continued. I hope someone has the chops.

Bravo 🤙🏿🙏🏿💪🏾 ignore the haters; haters gonna hate. They’d prefer everyone to share their misery. 5

Not my liking except for Roberts end.

Most depressing story I have read. Totally unlikable people. There is zero chance the husband would ever forget or forgive such gross disrespect. a one star story.

At least he is #1 again, thanks to the elimination of the competition. But her betrayal was blatant, in your face destruction. Personally, there wouldn't be enough time left in the world to heal those wounds and make me forget the pain. It still doesn't seem even for some reason. 5 stars for a truly good story, pushing you higher up the ladder of my beloved writers.

Robert and Mel were both warned.

Should've taken it seriously.

5*****

@sbrooks103xabout 14 hours ago

@demander, submitting part 1 "a minute" before part 2 is too close. Wait at least a day, better, wait till part 1 actually posts. It is possible that it was posted earlier than you think.

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Why is Robert punished, presumably terminally, while the cheater gets a reconciliation? Robert never vowed fidelity. - He was warned.

Hated it. Not realistic. NO self respecting person, male or female, would have tolerated what the spouse (Mel) did.

I also don't know who could try to love someone knowing they liked sex with someone AFTER you so much better.

How many times will you have to KNOW they are thinking about him - not you- when you are supposedly making love to each other? No possible reconciliation possible here.

Good story. I can relate to Will, and a dark side toward another man going after my wife. I can see reconciliation, she did try to resist, trying to get off the second case even threaten resigning. She’s human. I can relate to that too, I’ve had woman try to seduce me while married and only circumstance saved me. I still think about one lady years later.

Besides, if Robert was the only one that could temp her, it seems Will solved that problem and settled the score in his mind at least. She was the one he wanted most in the world, and he found a way to keep her and his dignity. Smart man.

Robert was stupid. Mel could have sued both him and her form for harassment. It would have made a crappy story, but if she’s a hot shot lawyer, she probably would have gone that way.

In the end, a great story and one I’ll reread.