All Comments on 'Barb Becomes a Sex Toy'

cant wait to read more......

Good story, especially for a first-time submitter! This was, IMHO, well-crafted. Her Hubby is accounted for, and the reasons for her increasing sexual desertification are addressed briefly but adequately. Hubby later distracts her by phoning during the early seduction and making-out session with her (first) Bull-in-the works! A little more about the effects her commitment-shift to her Bull will affect her marital relationship would have been good in THIS chapter. The evidence of her adventure BEGGED to be the vehicle for that...a very important aspect differentiating LW from Erotic Coupling!

Clear distinction between her experiences with love-making and getting fucked. (She has NOT fucked her Bull, yet! Just gotten fucked! And gotten teased into switching allegiance!)

Looking forward to Ch2!

Be prepared for abuse to be heaped upon the story from readers who believe (despite LIT's clear definition) that this segment is supposed to be about Sweetie's being submissive but naughty with Hubby!

This category is VERY rough on ANON low ratings and abusive comments regarding an author's existence and parentage!

A clueless husband story. I like the clueless husband stories. Why? I think the answer is very interesting. The surprised commenter fellows will wonder. I am Revenge and Consequence Story Author and almost my every story foundation idea origined from read clueless husband stories. (I have my all stories on SOL, here on Lit I have only two stories.) A clueless story Author wrote an answer comment to my comment at his story, when I wrote that comment I could imagine a revenge sequel to his clueless husband story. He wrote why do not try to write that sequel and after the invitation of chilleywilley to be Author my 3rd story became my answer story for that clueless story. I write not direct sequel only I use the ideas which come to my brain reading the clueless story.

I think who thinks to become Revenge, Consequence or Reconciliation story Author that should read more clueless husband stories here or on SOL alike. The clueless husband stories give ideas during the reading. This story gave an idea about a special Universe in the SOL (storiesonline dot net)........It may be I will postpone my recently story plans for this Universe........

Sturdy, terse, very serviceable premiere effort, kudos. There's some void of irony & nuance that can be found in JPB's top shelf offerings but the description of the wife's languor, susceptivity, temptation and surrender were very smooth. Things got a little fanciful Sub/ Dom at the end. But oh well.

I'd like to see repercussions start to creep in the story. he's living a lie now. The guy is not a master in full. If so, why is he a mere part-time employee as she is. There are chinks on the armor to be explored in these characters & I hope the newbie author Brutus813 tries to explore them. ***** for virgin effort

Great first effort, good characters. Can't wait to read more about this situation. Hope we have more coming in future installments?

1* for Splitlickers stupid comments.

Lickideesplit pointed out why the story is serviceable, beyond subject matter.

Issues: Some spelling, and quite a few grammatical errors, for example: Your use of quotes is haphazard and poorly done. Learn when you need to capitalize, when commas are needed, when to start a new paragraph. Questions get question marks. Multiple statements from one speaker get one set of quotes, not three separately quoted sentences. Sentences end in punctuation. Partial quoted statements get a comma.

Possessives get an apostrophe, e.g. her husbands cock. It's her husband's cock. ...sucking a mans cock, the same thing.

Numerous broken sentences: "She loved the way her kissed her...", "... as Carl pulled out her now flooded pussy", "He pussy was so wet...", "Normally she would never would have answered...", "...he was going cum in her mouth his hand..."

The dialog is stilted, and doesn't sound natural. More dialog would be better. Try reading it out loud to see how it should be.

Excessive passive sentences during the sex scene. Look for 'was ...ing,' 'She felt...', She saw...'

Overall, not too bad, but editing would help a lot. Hopefully, the story gets better, the part-time working 5'9" bull gets his comeuppance, and the slut pays for her multiple adulterous episodes. She deserves to get to keep her underemployed bull, lose her job, and live in a trailer with a young man who will use her, and dump her for the next slut.

I'd like to read about what he does to her the next time they are together, and how she handles her husband while she is fucking her lover.

Thanks for the read

While there are some punctuation, spelling, and grammatical errors, and Carl is kind of an overbearing ass, the story is very stimulating. Will be looking for the continuation.

Love it

What a fabulous ending! How long did.it take you to come.up with that? See you tomorrow, I'm leaving.now.

Oh what wet dream for a lot of men and probably plenty of ladies as well , what a story