Beautiful Pt. 01

***

"Hello, Melanie."

"Hi, Mom." I felt my mother's eyes run over my body before fixing me with a look of disapproval.

"Your father says 'hello'. He'll be home from his trip next weekend. Would you bring the kids over for Sunday dinner?"

It wasn't a request, but at least she'd pretended to ask. "Okay. We can do that."

"Good."

The waiter arrived at our little table. "Good afternoon, I'm Bobby, and I'll be taking care of you today. What can I get you ladies? Something to drink?"

"Unsweetened tea, thank you." My mother answered, giving me a significant look that told me not to embarrass her by ordering anything with calories.

I smiled at the young man. "Same, here, thanks."

"All right, take a look at the menu. I'll be right back."

"So, what's new with you, dear?"

"Nothing in particular, Mother. We met Paige's new field hockey coach last night."

My mother sighed. "I don't know why you let her persist with that...sport."

I looked up at the ceiling. "We're not having this discussion again, Mother."

"She's never going to make a good marriage running around with a mouth guard and a stick, Melanie."

I closed my eyes, pushing down my anger. "She has plenty of time to get married, if that's what she chooses to do, Mother. And whether or not she plays hockey will have no bearing on that decision"

Our waiter arrived back. "Ladies? Make any decisions?"

My mother looked up. "I'll take the Palm Beach Salad, thank you."

"Very good. And you ma'am?" He turned to me.

"I'll try the Georgia Summer Cobb."

"Excellent Choice."

As he wrote it down, my mother gave me a stern look and commented. "No blue cheese, dear."

The waiter looked at me, questioning.

I looked up at him and handed over my menu. "I'll take it as it comes, thank you."

He nodded and moved away with alacrity, obviously not wanting to get in between whatever family drama was going on.

"That's a lot of extra calories, Melanie. Ones you don't need. Not if you ever expect to get married again."

"You don't expect it. Why should I?" I lowered my voice and mumbled to myself. "What does it matter?"

I don't think she heard me. "Hope springs eternal, dear. But I don't want to see you ruin your daughter's life like you ruined yours."

I muttered to myself. "I didn't ruin my life." I didn't sound like I believed it.

"You drove your husband into the arms of another woman, because you couldn't control yourself, Melanie." She didn't say it as an accusation, just a sad statement of fact. Of course, she wasn't wrong.

It took me a moment to recover from the wash of shame that covered me. I immediately relived the two years after my youngest son was born. Trying to keep up with a preschooler and a first grader on top of a newborn, depressed and overweight, my husband distancing more and more. My life had been crumbling around me, with three children who didn't understand why Mommy was always so sad.

"And look at you now. You hide in that house every day. People ask about you, Melanie. What am I supposed to tell them?"

I mumbled into my napkin. "I'm sure you'll come up with something."

"What was that, dear?"

"Nothing, Mother."

Our waiter dropped off our salads, and I had a short, blessed reprieve as we ate. I would have absolutely killed for an Arnold Palmer, and since I was with my mother, preferably spiked, but I dutifully sipped my unsweetened tea. The blue cheese in my meal was as much defiance as I could muster today.

"Now, Bill has the kids this weekend, so you're free two weeks from today?"

"Yeah, I think so."

Mother let out an exasperated sigh. "Melanie, are you free or not?"

"Yes, Mother."

"Good. There's a fundraiser for John at the club. Joseph Druthers will be there. His ex-wife wasn't a small woman. You might have a chance."

"Ex-wife? Lucy died, Mother. She had cancer. She was a friend of mine." It was true. She'd been one of the few people in my parent's society that hadn't treated me as an object of either contempt or pity, like a filthy, stray puppy.

"Right. And now she's gone, and Joe is lonely. He might take what he can get if you show interest. And he's not exactly a good looking man, so competition should be low."

"Mother!" I could feel the heat rising in my cheeks, my body trying to make up for the shame my mother refused to feel. "Joe is a wonderful man, and a good friend of Daddy's. He's also at least fifteen years older than I am."

"It would just be nice if you were respectably married before you brother starts campaigning next year."

"Why? You think his opponents will launch attack ads saying 'Don't vote for John Sullivan 'cause his little sister is fat and divorced?'"

"Don't be stupid, Melanie." She shook her head. "Besides, you know elections aren't won on T.V. They're won at parties and fundraisers, where it is absolutely relevant who your family is. And what they aren't."

"Okay, Mom." I took another bite of my salad, hoping she would let the subject drop. There could be another solution, though. "Will is seeing someone now. First girlfriend."

Blessedly that did the trick. Mom wanted all the details, including, of course, the girl's last name and who her parents were. I had, quite intentionally, not asked my son those very questions. I'm not sure if Bill had, but the few times I'd met Anna I'd observed that she was sweet, and she was an honors student, and that should be more than good enough for anyone.

Mom didn't even ask after Charlie. I guess a twelve-year-old whose closest friend was his computer wasn't interesting to her yet.

"So I can tell your father you'll be at the party, and that we'll see you on Sunday?" Mother tucked her Mastercard Black Card back into her purse.

"Sure." I gave her a kiss on the cheek. "See you next Sunday?"

My mother nodded and smiled at me, the first sign of genuine warmth I'd received from her since I'd gotten here. "You know I love you, dear. I just want you to be happy."

"I know, Mom."

I resisted the urge to stop on the way home and get some actual food, telling myself I'd make a healthy dinner tonight. My mother had lived inside my head regarding food since I was fourteen, maybe earlier.

My paternal grandmother had been a large woman. She'd made the most amazing Christmas cookies, over a dozen varieties, and I remembered heading to her house Christmas of my freshman year. I'd made the varsity cheerleading squad, quite a coup for someone my age, and it had catapulted me from a reasonably popular girl in middle school into the highest social strata at Lost Valley High.

When we'd arrived at Grandma's my brother, three years older, and my dad had headed inside immediately, but Mother had held me back.

"No more than three cookies tonight. Preferably small ones. Understood?"

"But why?"

"You like being on the varsity cheer team?"

I'd nodded, suddenly scared. It seemed like everything good that had happened to me since starting high school had been a direct result of making that team. I had friends who I'd never dreamed would even talk to me, boys were paying attention to me, and, I think most importantly, my mother was proud of me.

"Then you stay away from sweets, watch what you eat. You don't want to end up looking like Grandma, do you? She was thin when she was your age, too."

From that moment on I weighed myself every day of my life, panicking whenever I saw the number on the scale go up by more than a few pounds, even though I had two more inches to grow.

And it was still going on. When I got home from lunch I did the only thing I knew would keep my mother's voice out of my head for the rest of the evening, changing into some workout clothes and launching my favorite video. It would be the first time I'd done it all week. Running around after three teenagers didn't always leave a lot of time for yourself, after all.

I managed to sweat through it, cursing myself for letting myself slip so far before stumbling into the shower. When I made it back out to my living room I saw I'd missed a call from my father, and I swiped over to call him back.

"Hey, Doodlebug, how are you?"

I smiled as Dad called me by the childhood nickname he'd bestowed on me when I was tiny. For some reason hearing it made me feel safe and loved, especially today.

"I'm good, Daddy. How's Miami?"

"Hot. Oh my good Lord, the sweating I've done in this cursed state."

I grinned at my dad's whining. "You think it's any better up here?"

"Well, there I can take it as a point of Carolina pride. Here, it's just annoying. But the food, girl, I tell you, mmm. Best Cuban ever."

"Better than Casa Cubana?"

"Oh yeah, and so spicy. You'd love it. I had a Picadillo a la Habanero for lunch today that blew my mind."

"Oh, Daddy, don't talk to me about that. I had lunch with Mother today."

"Ooh, I'm sorry. She take you to one of those horrible salad shops?"

"Of course. Chopt. It's okay, I guess, as far as those places go."

"You going to have some real dinner?"

I smiled. "Yeah, I think so." Delilah jumped up into my lap as I spoke, and I scratched her behind her ears as she purred. "I'm feeling better. She invited me and the kids over for dinner Sunday. She said you'd be home."

"That's wonderful! I can't wait to see you all." He was quiet for a second. "Did she talk to you about the party?"

"Yeah. She wants me to chat up Joseph Druthers. Figures he's lonely."

My dad groaned into the phone. "Don't worry sweetheart. I'll talk to her."

"Thanks, Daddy. I just, I, um." I felt myself start to tear up.

"Hey, hey, you don't have to date just to date, or to make your mother happy. You're a wonderful mother, Melanie, and I'm proud of you. And if you ever want to start dating again, any man on earth would be lucky to have you. I love you, Doodlebug."

My dad let me cry for a minute, before distracting me with a new subject. "So, I hear Paige has a new coach. What do you think of her?"

"She's, well, she's something. Striking, intense features, commanding presence. During her welcome dinner she basically told all the parents she was going to run the team her way and they could all butt out. It was amazing."

"I like her already."

"Me, too. She was an Olympian, you know. I just hope she lasts." Dad and I chatted for another thirty minutes. I told him all about Anna, Will's new girlfriend, and that Charlie had started to beg me for stuff he would need to start live streaming the computer games he was playing, and by the time we hung up I was feeling okay again. Dad had been interested in something other than Anna's family, and he was eager to support anything Charlie might be interested in, even if he didn't understand it at all. And I knew he'd be at as many of Paige's games as he could manage.

Sunday turned out beautiful, one of those days that had you singing 'Bright, bright, bright, sunshiny day' under your breath, and I went for a walk around the neighborhood before breakfast. The dew was still glistening on the grass, and the only people I saw were joggers and walkers.

A woman ran past me as I strolled down the street, her tight exercise pants emphasizing her perfect figure. I watched with appreciation as she jogged away. My eyes seemed more drawn to the women I saw today than usual. Generally I kept myself under better control. Maybe it was the fact that my dreams last night had featured a tall, chestnut brunette field hockey coach and her stunning green eyes.

I made it to the late service at church, slipping out afterwards without talking to anyone. I really didn't feel like being there, especially today, but one thing I'd had drilled into me from infancy was how important it was to keep up appearances. Skipping church was a perfect way to get rumors started about you.

***

I looked up from my computer when I heard the front door open on Monday afternoon. My older son's quick step could be heard heading into the kitchen, and Sampson jumped down from his perch near the window to head that direction. Delilah stayed with me, curled up in the box I kept for her on my desk. It did a good job keeping her off my keyboard.

"Mom! Can I make some pizza rolls?"

I hollered down. "Only if you make enough for your brother. He'll be home soon."

"Okay! Thanks!"

I looked back at my screen. I was on the last page of this document, and I wanted to finish before I had to go pick up Paige from practice. I heard the T.V. come on, and I stood up to close the door so I could concentrate.

About an hour later I finished checking the last section, making a few notations before attaching it to an email and returning it to the author for corrections. Paige's practice should be done by five, and my computer told me it was not quite four.

Charlie had gotten home about twenty minutes after his brother, and he'd popped in to say hello before disappearing into his room. I'd let him do that until dinner. I went down into the kitchen and preheated the oven to 350 before throwing in the pasta bake I'd put together yesterday afternoon.

"Will?"

My son looked back over the couch at me. "Yeah, Mom?"

"I'm going to get your sister. I should be back before the timer goes off for the pasta bake, but if not pull it out, take the tin foil off and spread the cheese and put it back for ten minutes, got it?"

"Sure, no problem."

"And keep the volume low enough that you can hear the timer, right?"

He chuckled. "I will."

"Thanks, Sweetheart."

My heart was beating just a little faster than usual as I started up my minivan and pulled out of the driveway. I was going to be at the school at least fifteen minutes early, and I was excited to catch a little bit of practice.

When I pulled into the parking lot I saw a number of other vehicles. Some belonged to the luckier student athletes, who didn't have parents like Bill and me. We were on the same wavelength regarding that; Paige didn't get a car until she graduated.

Practice had always been open under Coach Collins, but I didn't know about the new regime. I did see Renee Perry's Lexus, so chances were good she was inside. I could hear the football team out on the practice field as I approached. I know Bill had always wanted Will to play football like he had, but he'd always preferred baseball. He was planning on trying out for the varsity team in the spring.

Charlie, he wasn't interested in sports at all. That doesn't mean he wasn't competitive, he just preferred a virtual medium. I was just glad that Paige was getting to play the sport she loved. I'd never gotten to try field hockey, but I'd loved soccer and softball when I was little. Mother, however, made me stop when I turned twelve, and the only acceptable alternative had been cheerleading.

There was still a security guard on duty as I approached.

"Are we allowed in, Frank?"

"Yes, Mrs. Pierson." He held the door open for me with one hand and tipped his cap with the other, and I thanked him as I went inside. As I headed through into the fieldhouse proper the thudding of sneakered feet sounded on the composite floor as a whistle blew.

"On the cones! Quickly!"

The girls raced to one end of a grid of white cones, forming four lines. I saw that Paige was at the front of one of them, which made me proud. Coach Dalton blew her whistle and the girls began stickhandling through the cones, weaving back and forth. When each player reached the end they fired the ball back down to the next person in line.

"Watch your first touch, ladies! It has to be more than just settling the ball! It has to be done with purpose. Where am I, where do I need to be? That's better, Samantha. Cleaner through those cones, Kaylin!"

Once Paige was finished with her part of the drill I took a moment to watch Coach Dalton. She was dressed in blue and white track pants that stretched over her perfect backside when she moved, along with a shiny silver athletic tank, stretched tight over a flat stomach and what appeared to be perfect breasts. Her powerful, bare shoulders rippled as she brought her whistle to her lips again.

"She's something, isn't she?"

Renee Perry's voice sounded in my ear, making me jump and snap my mouth shut, which I hadn't realized was hanging open.

"Yeah, I guess."

"I've been here the whole practice. Adrienne's been doing well. So is Paige." The coach barked another set of instructions. "She's a lot more intense than Coach Collins."

"Yeah, intense." Even with Renee, the scariest person I knew, next to my mother, sitting there beside me, I couldn't look away from Coach Dalton. She chose that moment to look up at the ten or so parents sitting on the plastic bleachers. Her eyes passed over me for just a moment, and my breath caught in my chest as she did a subtle double take, the barest hint of a smile playing over her features as our eyes met. Heat flooded my cheeks, and I turned away. Renee was looking at me strangely.

"You okay, Melanie?"

"Yeah, fine." Had she seen anything? Okay, time for a little damage control. "Are we sure she's the right fit?" Anything I thought, Renee would think the opposite. It was as good a way as any to ensure two things, that the new coach got a fair chance, and to eliminate any suspicions in Renee's mind about how what I was feeling. It was just a stupid fancy anyway.

Coach Dalton's whistle blew again. "Huddle up!" It was about five till five. "Proud of you ladies today. Coach Pat is going to take you through some cool down stretches, and then you can hit the showers. You keep giving me this kind of effort, maybe I'll let you scrimmage next week." This got a good-natured groan from the girls, and Coach Dalton chuckled along. "Alright, line up!" Paige was center front, right next to Adrienne Perry.

In short order the girls were released to the locker rooms. The coaches congregated for a moment before separating, and Coach Dalton headed over to our little bleachers.

"It's good to see so many parents. I have to admit, I wasn't planning on having open practices, but I know it's tradition around here, so we'll give it a try. But y'all be on your best behavior, now, understood?" She said it with a smile, and she got a couple playful 'Yes, Coach' responses.

Parents started to disperse out of the fieldhouse, but Coach Dalton caught me before I could follow suit.

"Melanie, right?"

"Um," Oh my god! Say something, Stupid! "Yup, that's me." Yeah, that was stupid all right. Shit.

"I just wanted to tell you that Paige really worked hard today. She's a great example for the lower classwomen."

My heart warmed at the compliment. "Thanks. She's always been a hard worker. Dedicated. She'll give you her all, promise."

"Adrienne is dedicated, too." I'd almost forgotten Renee was still there. I knew she expected Adrienne to be named team captain. If Paige got it instead, well, that would be quite a coup.

"She is." She looked over at Renee Perry, but never turned her body away from me. "And she's a fine player. But the difference is she doesn't seem to care if anyone else on the team is as well."

"Excuse me?" The bite in Renee's voice made me wince, even if it wasn't directed at me, but if Coach Dalton was cowed it didn't show on her face. She turned towards Renee, her sharp, angular features seeming to harden.

"My seniors need to be team leaders, and a leader inspires their teammates, which makes the whole team better. They don't snicker at younger players when they make mistakes, or give them condescending looks when they ask questions." The tone of her voice made it absolutely clear that she had caught Adrienne doing exactly that.

Anger flashed in Renee's eyes, although I couldn't tell if it was directed at the Coach or her daughter. Probably both. Either way, Renee turned on her heel and stomped out into the hallway. Coach Dalton turned back to me and shook her head.