Beautiful Pt. 01

"Hey, stranger."

It's amazing how fast a person can go from 'responsible mom' mode to 'goofy teenager' mode as I recognized Coach Dalton's, um, I mean, Sandy's voice. I turned around to see her smiling face, feeling the heat immediately rise in my cheeks.

"Oh, hi." I giggled stupidly, looking to the side as I pushed a strand of hair behind my ear. I waggled my phone at her. "Just checking on a party Paige was invited to. Making sure it's legit."

"Dani's pool party?" I nodded, looking a little surprised she knew about it. She shrugged. "I keep my ears open."

"I needed to know it's being chaperoned. It's also going to be girls only, so," I smiled, "I guess it's okay."

"I have a hard time imagining Paige gives you too much trouble chasing after boys. She strikes me as being a very responsible girl."

"She is. She's dated some, nobody really serious. She's just a lot more focused on her studies. And her hockey, of course."

"Of course. So, big plans this weekend?" Her voice was just a little unsure, which was cute. Good to know she was human.

"Not really." I nodded towards my son. "Will has a date with his girlfriend, I'm running him over when we leave. And it looks like I won't have a car tomorrow night, so there go my wild evening activities. Probably grocery shopping tomorrow morning."

"Very exciting."

"Hey," I pointed at her, "Saturday morning at Wegmans is no joke. You could lose an arm." Sandy laughed, which made my heart go all fuzzy inside my chest.

The Coach's eyes cast about and her voice lowered. No one was within earshot. "So if I called you tonight would you answer?"

My breath caught in my chest as she spoke, and almost on instinct I gave her my most coquettish grin. "Maybe." She gave me a half smile and her eyes narrowed, demanding a firmer answer. "Okay, yes."

Her eyes sparkled for a moment, and her grin widened, softening her sharp features. I loved seeing that.

"Good. Have a lovely evening, Melanie." She reached out and touched my elbow, just below the half sleeve of my pleated top. I could feel the heat run along my arm, and I just stared up into her eyes for a moment before she turned slowly away.

I took a few deep breaths, trying to get my heart rate to return to normal.

"Hey Mom." I almost jumped through the roof at the sound of my daughter's voice. "What were you talking to Coach about?"

My brain whirled around for a safe answer. "You, funnily enough."

"What'd she say?" The sudden earnestness in her voice told me she didn't have any suspicions about the effect Sandra Dalton's presence had been having on me. Thank god for teenage obliviousness.

I put my arm around Paige's shoulders. "That you're doing great, and she's proud of you." I kissed her on the temple, which I had to go up on tiptoes to do, since she'd gotten her height from her father instead of me.

"Does that mean we can order from Gino's tonight?"

I laughed. "Sure sweetheart. Will! Let's go!" He didn't move, the white stems of his ear buds protruding from under his mop of hair. "Paige, go kick your brother.

"Yes, ma'am."

***

I slipped into the sudsy water. Paige and Charlie were both in their rooms, I'd poked my head in and said goodnight to both. Paige had been video chatting with one of her friends from the team, and Charlie had been wearing his headset, storming some dungeon or something on his computer. Since it was Friday night, I didn't make them go lights out until midnight. Will's curfew was a soft eleven, so I likely wouldn't see him for at least another hour. Perfect timing for a bath.

I had my phone on the stone surround of my tub, and I glanced at it several times, both willing it to ring and terrified that it might do just that. I'd just looked away, beginning to close my eyes when the screen brightened, and Sandra Dalton's Team USA picture shone on the screen as my phone began to vibrate.

I picked it up and took a deep breath. "Hello."

"Hi. It's not too late, is it?"

I grinned, rubbing my legs together under the water. "No, your timing is perfect."

"Yeah? What're you doing?"

"Taking a bath." I could feel myself blushing. Shit, why had I said that? I'd basically just told her I was naked. God, I hope that didn't gross her out. I wouldn't want to think about me naked, either. Suddenly my eyes stung, but Sandy's lovely alto voice cut through my darkening mood.

"Really? That sounds relaxing. Do you have a nice tub?"

"Yeah, it was a gift from my husband when we moved in. I've always loved baths."

"A woman after my own heart. That's one thing my condo doesn't have."

"A nice tub?"

"Yeah. I remember how great a bath felt after a tough game or workout. When I finally buy my house it's going to have a great tub. One big enough for two."

"Yeah, well, I already need one big enough for two." I winced. Why do I do that? I could almost hear the coach glowering at me through the phone. "I'm sorry."

"Good. I hate it when people are cruel to themselves. I don't allow it in my players, or my friends."

"Okay, I'll try." Alright, say something cool. "So, what's going on?" So what's going on? You idiot!

"Actually, I was wondering if you were free tomorrow night."

My whole body flushed. Was she asking me out? Like, on a date? No, that's silly. I'd already had this conversation with myself. She wasn't interested in me like that. No one was. But I did like being around her, though, and it had been so long since I had a friend.

"Melanie? You still there?"

"Sorry, yeah, um, I'm free, I think. What did you have in mind?"

Sandra laughed on the other end. "You sure? You sound nervous. We don't have to, you know."

I felt a wash of panic. I didn't want her to change her mind. "No, I'm sure. I'd love to see you again." Oh my god! What did I just say! That sounded way too much like this was a date. Would she be insulted? I closed my eyes and waited for her to start backpedaling.

"That's good." It sounded like she was smiling. I could literally hear her smiling. "I can't wait to see you again, too." A warm, fuzzy feeling spread through my chest, and I could feel the silly grin spreading across my face as she continued.

"So, anyway, I have reservations at Taverna Agora tomorrow night, and then a friend of mine is playing at Tuscany Wine House at eight. I promised him and his wife I'd go. You could join me for both, or just dinner, whichever you want."

"Would you like me to come to both? I'd understand if you'd rather spend time with your friends."

"Melanie, I wouldn't be asking if I didn't want you to be there."

"That's a switch. I get invited to things all the time people don't want me at."

"Sounds like you need some new friends."

"I don't have any friends. Bill got them all in the divorce." I tried to laugh it off, but honestly there was too much truth in it to be too whimsical.

"You aren't really kidding, are you?" That note of anger was back, tinting her voice.

I pulled my knees up to my chest. "I'm just not the social butterfly my mother is. Or that she wanted me to be." A tear slid down my cheek, and I wiped it away, trying to keep any trace out of my voice. "Besides, I've got three teenagers. They keep me plenty busy. But with their dad taking them every other weekend, I do have plenty of built-in me time."

"You hate it when they leave, don't you?"

I sighed. "So much. They're the longest days."

"Well, I think one of the answers is getting you a social life, which starts by coming out with me tomorrow."

The playful lilt to her voice sent a warm shudder through my body. I managed to stifle the giggle, but I couldn't do anything about the silly grin spreading across my face. "Okay."

*****

"Mom! The eggs are burning." Charlie pointed at the stove, where, indeed, the scrambled eggs I was making for breakfast were starting to smoke. I pulled them off before flipping the hash browns. My head was all over the place, and it had been most of the night. I was definitely going to need a nap before Sandy swung by to pick me up tonight.

My whole body felt like it was humming, the idea of spending time with Sandy making it so I could barely think straight. I both couldn't wait and was mortally terrified at the same time. The only thing that was keeping me sane was the mantra that this was safe, that she couldn't possibly be interested in me like that. Besides, she probably wasn't even gay. Her Wikipedia page hadn't had anything about her personal life, other than the names of her parents and the fact she grew up in Charlotte. (Yes, she has a Wikipedia page, and, yes, I looked it up. One of the many things I did besides sleep last night.)

"Charlie, go wake your brother and sister. Charlie!" Me shouting got him to look up from his tablet, and he took out one of his earbuds. I repeated my request, and he headed upstairs to comply. "Do NOT go into your sister's room! Just knock on the door!"

"Okay!" I heard banging and shouting from the bedrooms, and I turned back to what I was doing, using tongs to turn the bacon. Paige came down first, she'd always been easier in the morning than her brothers, especially when she was excited about something. When she was a girl I knew she'd be in my room at two AM every December the twenty-fifth, asking if it was Christmas yet. She was still in her PJ's, just a headband in her long, light brown hair.

She picked up a piece of bacon and bit it in half. "I can still have the car this afternoon, right?"

"I said you could, didn't I? And don't talk with your mouth full." I winced, realizing how much I'd just sounded like my mother. But still, good manners were good manners. "And don't stay out too late. We have church in the morning and we're going to your grandparents for Sunday dinner."

"Ooh, is Winifred cooking?"

I gave her a stern look. "That's Miss Winifred to you, and I don't know. But it does mean you won't have time to do much homework tomorrow, so I recommend you get a start on it this morning before you go. That goes for you too, Will." My older son stumbled to his customary seat at the table. I wondered if he'd even opened his eyes at all walking down the stairs.

"Mom, can I have some coffee?"

"If you want to go make it yourself."

To my amazement he actually stood up and made his way over to the Keurig, grabbing a mug and a K-cup of Colombian dark roast.

His brother sat up straight. "Can I have a hot chocolate when he's done?"

"Sure, Charlie. Will, help your brother."

"I know how, mom."

Paige and I just opted for OJ, and in a few minutes I had my crew gathered around the table. We passed around the food, and I noted how much my daughter took, relieved to see it was a healthy amount. I still felt bad about what I'd said at the dinner. From the age of fourteen my mother had micromanaged everything I ate. I remembered holding Paige in my arms, minutes after she was born, and swearing to myself I'd be different. I hadn't always succeeded.

"Okay, Will, Charlie, I'm going to be gone tonight."

Will frowned at me, his voice incredulous. "Where are you going?"

"Just out to dinner with a friend, and then we're going to go listen to some music."

"Is it a date?" Charlie was looking at me wide eyed.

"Eww, dude!" Will scoffed. "Mom doesn't date."

I smirked at Will. "Thanks, Sweetheart."

"Seriously, you don't. It'd be weird."

I took a breath. "Well you needn't worry, it's just a lady friend." I looked at him with a fake stern look "No wild parties. I won't be that late."

Will shook his head and forked another bite of eggs. I definitely didn't have to worry about him not eating enough.

When we finished I set the boys to clean up and load the dishwasher while Paige and I cleared the table.

"Mom?" Paige looked serious.

"Yeah, Honey? What is it?"

"You know, it'd be okay if you wanted to date." I could see she was blushing, and she nodded towards the kitchen, where her brothers were making noise. "The cretins would get over it. Really."

I grinned at my daughter and pulled her into a hug. "Thank you, Honey. I appreciate that." I kissed her on the head. "It goes both ways, y'know. You haven't been on a date in awhile."

Paige shrugged her shoulders and crinkled her nose, her head shaking. "That one didn't go well. Besides, with hockey and school," she shook her head. "But who knows? Maybe the man of my dreams will show up in AP Bio Monday."

"As long as he's not the teacher."

Paige just laughed at me and headed back upstairs, and I followed her to collect and start the laundry.

*****

I was putting said laundry away four hours later, standing in my closet, looking around at my wardrobe.

"Hey, Mom, just getting ready to go." I turned around to see my daughter standing in the doorway. She was wearing a pair of jean short shorts and a halter with her bikini top tied underneath. Her father would likely have a heart attack seeing his little girl dressed so revealingly, but she'd never given us any reason to doubt her choices, and this was supposed to be a girls-only party.

I remember sitting down with her after she'd gotten her period, telling her to come to me if she ever decided to have sex, so that I could make sure she was protected, and we'd had another longer, more two-way discussion about everything when a friend of hers found herself pregnant at just fifteen. Bill had had similar discussions with Will, and they were coming with Charlie as well. It was the most terrifying thing about being the parents of teens, knowing they were old enough to start making their own choices. That, and remembering how incredibly stupid and naïvely sure of yourself you'd been at that age.

"Do you have a towel? Sunscreen?"

"And a change of clothes. I'm good. See you tonight."

I tried not to let her see me take a deep breath. "Okay, drive safe. I love you."

"Love you, too, Mom." She ducked out into the hall, shouting back as she headed down the stairs. "And have fun tonight!"

I laughed and shook my head. I wondered for a moment what her feelings would be if she knew I was going to dinner with her field hockey coach, before turning my attention back to the immediate problem at hand. What was I going to wear?

I didn't want it to look like I thought this was some kind of date, but I wanted something nicer than jeans. Not that I had any jeans that fit well anyway. Or any clothes for that matter. I could feel my shame and anger at myself starting to rise in my chest. I tried to force it away, with only moderate success. I heard my phone chime from my bed stand, and I walked in and grabbed it.

Sandra Dalton - Looking forward to tonight. Pick you up at six?

I stared at it for a second.

Me - Sounds perfect. Can't wait.

I sat down heavily on my bed, staring back towards my closet and its collection of too small items. But maybe...I stood up and went back and pulled out a blue, pleated dress I'd bought for a wedding last spring. It was long and flowing with a keyhole bodice and a tie off waist. I put it on and turned in the mirror. I liked it. I'd liked it when I'd bought it. It gave me back some semblance of my old hourglass figure, and it made me feel pretty, if just for a moment.

At ten 'til six I was sitting in front of my vanity, looking at myself in the mirror. No matter how many times I'd told myself this wasn't a date my brain kept telling me I really wanted to look good tonight. I wanted to see that look in her eyes, the one that made it hard for me to breathe. I guess that was the real truth. Sandy was the first person to notice me in so long, even if she only saw me as a friend.

I took another long look at myself. It was the most care I'd taken with my makeup in a long time. The eye shadow made my dark eyes pop, just a little blush and foundation gave definition to my naturally round face. I'd been called pretty, even beautiful, when I was younger. And thinner, of course. Just maybe I was catching the faintest hint of what used to be.

I closed my makeup case and stood, heading down stairs and grabbing my purse. Charlie was in his room on his computer, par for the course, but Will was watching college football in the living room. I called to him and he looked back over the sectional.

"Geez, Mom, you look nice."

"Thank you, Sweetheart. There's a frozen pizza in the freezer, make it, share with you brother. I won't be real late, I promise."

"Yeah, okay."

I took a deep breath and walked out the front door. The September evening light had just begun to soften, and the shadows from the trees were starting to lengthen along the street. My heart was tripping along at about twice its normal rate, and my breath caught in my chest as I saw the burnt orange Jeep Wrangler coming down the street. It pulled into the driveway, and I couldn't help the silly, excited smile that stole across my face as the driver's side door opened.

Sandy's eyes visibly widened as she took me in, and I looked down and to the side, tucking a strand of my dark hair behind my ear and twisting so my dress swirled around my legs.

"Wow, Melanie, you... you look amazing." Her eyes traveled slowly over my body, and heat flooded me. It had been a very long time, but I recognized that look. And I remembered the distantly familiar warmth that filled me as she did. Oh, my holy god, this was a date.

"You don't clean up so bad yourself." Wow, that was an understatement. She was wearing a smooth, silky, long-sleeved purple blouse and fitted charcoal slacks with two-inch sandals. Her light brown curls fell in a loose pleat past her shoulders down as low as her mid back. I'd never seen it in anything but that ponytail. It really softened the sharp, long features of her face, and her lime green eyes just held mine like they always did.

She blushed at the compliment. "Thanks. You ready?"

I nodded. "Mm-hm."

"Good." Her smile was wide and genuine as she opened my door, holding up her left hand to help me inside. My palm slid into hers, and I gasped as the warmth of her touch traveled up my arm. My eyes locked on hers as I stepped up into the passenger seat of her Jeep. I cleared my dress and sat as she closed the door, her smile never slipping for a moment.

I pulled my seatbelt on, thankful for a distraction that let me look for a moment at something other than her. Sandra jogged around to the other side of her jeep and climbed into the driver's seat. "I don't think I ever asked if you'd been there before?"

I shook my head. "No, you?"

"Couple times. It's really good. I can't wait to show you."

"Thanks. It's just nice to be out with a friend."

She turned to me and smiled, which made my heart flutter inside my chest. "Yeah. So did you tell Paige who you were going to dinner with?"

"No, absolutely not. She'd lose her mind."

"Really? She seems more level headed than that."

I grimaced. "Yeah, for an eighteen year old girl she is, really. But how would you have felt if your parents had started hanging out with your high school hockey coach?"

"You're right, I would have been so embarrassed."

"Exactly. Don't get me wrong, the power to embarrass your children is a powerful weapon in the parenting arsenal, but she hasn't done anything to deserve it. This time."

Sandy chuckled. "You embarrass your children?"

I held up a finger. "I threaten to embarrass them. Like Will, for example. Threatening him with grounding, it may or may not work. Threaten to show up and have lunch with him at school for a week, he'll fold like a towel." I shrugged. "I mean, as a mother of teens I embarrass my children by my mere existence. Might as well take advantage of it."

She laughed, but there was a hint of pain in her eyes.

I cocked my head at her. "You okay?"

She wiped her eyes. "Yeah. I'd have loved to have kids. My sister has four. They're amazing."