All Comments on 'Beautiful Surprise'

Sorry but I have to say the story was very jumpy and difficult to follow, 1st you walked behind her to an alley and behind a dumpster then suddenly your against a car doesn't make sense. You need to lead the reader into what is happening describe the surroundings, the people in the action (make the reader imagine they can see them in their minds) and find a way to meld the scenes together better instead of jumping from one scene to another.

The story was a good idea just take your time on the next one and read it a couple of times slowly thinking as the person reading it not the person who wrote it just to see if it is an easy read. If you have to pause even few a few seconds to make sense of the story ten find a way to rewrite it so the readers have to put in zero pause or thought while they read it, this will only make your stories stronger.

Good luck and keep writing.

I'd have done the same thing as he did given the same circumstances. Good story.

I enjoyed the POV of this story. It is a good tale.