Beauty and the Brute

"It's an honour to be called masculine by you, Cameron Banks." I joked. He rolled his eyes and quickly changed the subject.

--Cam--

He got part time work in a kitchen in a couple of days and seemed thrilled. I didn't get it. Why break your back doing the worst job in the world for minimum wage when you looked like him? He blushed whenever I suggested a bar or a person I could get him in touch with. He was super cagey. I couldn't see why.

Until I ended up on his Instagram page. He kept things pretty tight on Facebook, seemed to barely touch the thing but his Instagram was updated almost daily and gave me a lot more insight into his work.

Definitely not bartending.

Well. I guess I wasn't the only one who thought he was sex on legs. He had tens of thousands of followers, and he milked the shit out of it. I was taken aback. Shy, awkward, kind of geeky Ari was playing the thirst trap game. And playing it well. I scrolled through his photos. Shit, he was a goddamned underwear model. No wonder he was so fit. I stopped on one photo in particular. He was sitting, his legs spread, reading a book between takes in just some navy boxer briefs. Before I knew what I was doing I found my hand between my legs. Fuck. I wasn't going to wank off to my friends little brother was I?

Yeah.

Yeah I totally was.

Oops.

--

Lucky he sleeps in and I didn't have to face him. I was so stupid. I knew I was crushing but there is such a huge step between crushing and jerking off to, and I was an idiot for letting myself fall down that rabbit hole.

There was a point in my life where I would have tried to drink it away. The lads and I went out for a pint most nights, and I considered being the asshole who pushes it too far, just to have some company. But I was better than that. And I really needed to hang on to this job- if for no other reason than Boss always gave a fortnight heads up before any drug testing. I wouldn't get that lucky again.

We all said good night and I wondered what to do with myself. I couldn't go home. Ari would have cooked dinner and would be hogging the Xbox in his singlet, and he would roll his eyes at me as I ate which just made me like him more. I nursed a shot of whiskey and sat, brooding. Eventually the girl behind the counter slipped me a newspaper.

"Thanks." I mumbled.

"I have a book if that's more your thing." Definitely not.

"What is it?" I asked to be polite.

"The Eyre Affair." I shrugged. She brightened up. "It's great. Here." She dug around the bar and handed it to me, so I started to read to oblige her. I didn't get it. I was staring at the pages, turning then without really reading them, when she started to talk to me. "So what's up big guy? Is it awful? Did someone pass on?" I stared at her. She had some nerve.

"No." I said shortly. But then I felt rude. "I'm avoiding the guy I'm living with."

"Oh. What, you have a falling out?"

"No." She leant against the bar and poured me another shot of whiskey.

"Go on." She noticed me glance at the glass dubiously. "On me." She waved her hand.

"He's my flatmate's little brother." I said with a sigh.

"Ah. Annoying."

"Very."

"Maybe you guys have something in common."

"We have a lot of stuff in common." She smiled and sat back on a stool behind the bar.

"There you go, maybe it won't be so bad if you just start doing something you have in common together. He might be alright after all."

"Oh he's more than alright." I said, the whiskey was starting to warm me up to her. "He's a bombshell."

"Huh." She wrinkled her nose. "You jealous of him then?" I rolled my eyes.

"No."

"I'm lost." She said with a smile.

"He's perfect." I said. "The embodiment of perfection. Goodness incarnate. He's an underwear model."

"I'm starting to see where this is going."

"My best mate's little brother."

"The Gods are cruel."

—-

I got home and Ari had gone to bed. He'd left me a note that dinner was in the fridge if I liked. Didn't bother heating it up, just wolfed it down. I was grumpy and stubbed my toe on the way to bed. I was so mad I didn't even brush my teeth. Ari would have made me if he was up. Asshole.

Stupid asshole. Stupid hot asshole... stupid fucking muscled... I started fondling myself and imaging Ari going down on me, his eyes dark with lust and his hair all messed up. His lips, his hot fucking mouth wrapped around my dick as he moaned. Just in the navy blue underwear from the photo. He would shudder as I rubbed his leaking hard on with my foot and beg me to stop teasing him... but I wouldn't stop. I would make him cum. I would make him cum in his pants as he moaned my name...

I didn't sleep well, and I banged around the kitchen trying to make something for breakfast.

I was a little better on site, but my head was still too cloudy to function normally. I did the bare minimum and I wasn't in trouble- but I could tell from the way the boss looked at me he wasn't impressed.

I followed last night's routine. Maybe this could work. Just leave early, stay out late, and never see Ari again. Except in my fantasies. Yeah. Yeah. This was gonna be fine.

—-

Only he stayed up for me on the third night.

He was so nervous, which made me mad at him. How dare he be nervous around me? I should be nervous around him! He couldn't meet my eye as he carefully tried not to give me a lecture about staying out late. As if it wasn't entirely his fault.

Actually I think he thought it was his fault. He offered to stay in Tui's room, and I was more than tempted to take him up on that offer. But I couldn't be an asshole. It would feel too shitty. I sighed.

Guess I'd be hanging out with him a bit after all.

He started to build a bit of a routine... he worked shorter days on both ends and he would start dinner, then meet me and my mates for a beer, and then drag me home to eat, and jam, and play games until his arbitrary 11pm curfew.

On paper it worked fine.

In practise he was fucking killing me.

—- Ari—-

He always acted as though he was mad, and like I was a total buzzkill which I probably was, but he usually thanked me, eventually.

"If it weren't for you I would probably be fired." He admitted.

On Friday we stayed out and he tried to beat me at pool and bought me greasy fried chicken at 2am and tried to get me to eat it. Saturday we just fucked around on his XBox. He was better than me at every game we tried but I was getting there, and I liked hanging out with him. I didn't have friends like this in London- just other guys I knew in the same industry, and we partied together, and slept together, but it was so lonely, even when I was surrounded by bodies. I hadn't actually realised how lonely I'd been. It was nice hanging out with a straight dude like Cameron, who I didn't need to impress, or flirt with. I called him out for his shit and he rolled his eyes, and it wasn't a drama.

I mean.

I was a tiny bit in love with him. Just a tiny bit. Because he just got me. The big stupid brutish yang to my yin. And he liked the same music which is a goddamn miracle because my music taste is almost famously divisive.

But he was straight. So the pressure was off.

—-

I got off work early and sat at the bar for a bit. I was sort of trying it with the bartender, Connor. I mean, I was so pent up. I had been responsible those last few months in London, I only slept with my flatmate and that was out of mutual desperation. I hadn't had sex since I boarded the plane.

Connor made me try all the wine. He said it was imperative that all the staff knew the wine list intimately, and I laughed because the day anyone asked the dishie for advice about what to pair with tuna would be a sorry day. We liked each other. He liked me a lot more but I could see myself falling for him. I just felt dumb because right now I was almost homeless, and basically broke, and he was smart and studying engineering- and he really was 29, I'd checked, so he was older- and I couldn't understand why he would waste his time with a total fucking loser like me.

Ok, yes. A hot loser. I was going to the gym and trying to work off my quarantine body. And I wasn't giving in to Cameron's obscene lifestyle. I was taking care of myself and I looked good. But it just didn't seem like enough. Looking good was always a shallow excuse of a personality. I didn't think Connor would actually like the real personality. The one that just wanted to play video games and get stoned listening to trash. And thrash.

I ended up hanging out with Maddie, one of the wait staff. I texted Cameron and apologised, saying dinner might be takeaways tonight. He called me.

"Don't tell me you're getting lucky?" I could hear his grin over the phone.

"Not unless I have a serious change of heart." I said. "I mean Maddie is cute but..." I could hear him sigh.

"I can't believe a guy like you is having trouble getting laid." He said.

"I'm not having trouble!" I said. "I'm enjoying my own company!" Even as I said it I winced. Nice. Now Cameron thought I was a chronic masturbator or something. "Wait..." I started to say. He was laughing though.

"Dry patch for me too." He said. "Well, I appreciate the heads up but honestly Ar, you have no obligation to me. I know how to order pizza just fine."

"Ugh, that's exactly what worries me." I said. "Please order a side salad." I could practically hear him rolling his eyes down the phone. "And get your ass to bed at a reasonable hour!"

"Yes, boss." He said. I smiled to myself.

"I'll make it up to you Sunday night." I said. "We can get fucked at Minibar and I'll help you with all the drunk barely legal chicks." He chuckled.

"Ari. No one ever buys you as my wingman."

"Fine." I said. "Be mine. Act like I gave you the best night of your life." He laughed.

"See now, that's believable. I'll catch you later dude. Have fun. Seriously, have fun. I'll be a good boy ok? You deserve a night of debauchery." I laughed and caught Maddie's eye.

"Later dude." I hung up. Maddie raised her eyebrow at me and I took her hand as we left. "My unwilling flatmate." I explained. "I wanted to stay with my bro until I found a place but I ended up saddled with his poor friend." She laughed.

"He's straight then?"-

"So straight. He works construction and wears Lynx." She laughed again and pulled me into a bar I didn't know existed.

"Connor's into you." She said as we sat down. She'd bought the first round because I was a little overwhelmed by the natural wine list. More of a beer drinker. I rolled my eyes.

"Yeah. Until he realises my hobbies are birdwatching and doom."

"Doom?"

"Oh. Metal. Not like... doom." I mimed choking myself and she smiled.

"A really hot gay dishie into metal." She said thoughtfully. "That's definitely unusual." I rolled my eyes. "Is this what you did in London?" I looked at her and felt my inhibitions fall away. If you can't be honest with you fag hag who can you be honest with? I blushed and pulled out my phone.

"Don't tell anyone." I said. I showed her my Instagram. I kept in updated, even here. "I used to..." I passed her the phone and let her scroll through. She was delighted.

"Oh my god." She said. "You fucking thirst trap." I laughed.

"Seriously. Between us ok? Especially don't tell Connor, he thinks I'm dumb enough as it is." She looked at me incredulously.

"Connor thinks you're hilarious. Actually, he's worried you're straight." I pulled my phone away and laughed.

"He thinks I'm..."

"Yeah I told him not to listen to Ruby." She said. "He gets off at 10..." We looked at each other and I smiled.

"Uh.. maybe... If we're still out..." She put her head in her hands and looked at me, playing coy.

"Maybe what?" She said. I rolled my eyes.

"Maybe you could text him and..." I trailed off as our wine arrived.

"And?" She prompted. I opened my mouth and sighed.

"Jeez Maddie." I grumbled. "Tell him there's a horny ex underwear model you're hanging out with who's fucking gagging for it? I dunno." She grinned, delighted.

"I'll tell him we're at Puffin if he's keen."

—-

Connor had a proposal due but he called Maddie and she had a long conversation with him. Eventually she returned to my side.

"He's distraught." She said. "He thinks he'll miss out forever if he doesn't make it tonight." I rolled my eyes.

"Idiot."

"Agreed. Anyway. Your turn for a round." I obliged her and made my way inside the bar. I rolled my eyes with a grin as I spotted Cameron and his mates. It's like he has a homing device on me. I sidled over to them to say hi. Cameron looked a little pissed off to see me- I can never tell if that guy hates me or not- but he did invite me to join them.

"It's ok, I'm still with Maddie." I waved vaguely in the direction of the outdoor courtyard and said goodbye.

Maybe I was imagining things but I glanced back and Cameron was staring at me. In a way he'd never started before. Not angrily or lustily. Just sort of... sadly.

—-Cam—-

"Oi." Tama snapped his fingers. "Snap out of it." I turned back to the guys guiltily. They all rolled their eyes.

"This can't go on." Elijah said. "You need to get laid." I nodded.

"I know! But I only want to get laid by him."

"Well tough titties dude!" Spike frowned at me. "Come on dumbass just find a cute twunk and bury your dick in him." He glanced around the bar and jerked his head at a guy. The poor dude jerked his head up and seemed a bit taken aback to have a group of burly lads suddenly eyeing him up. I caught his eye and checked him out. Actually, good call. Just the right amount of stubble. I shook my head at Spike. "Try it." He demanded. I sighed as the other lads stared me down and slowly slipped out of my chair.

The dude looked terrified.

"I don't want trouble." He said. I sighed.

"Ok. I was going to offer to buy you a drink but..." He blinked at me.

"Uh. No thanks." I looked back at the guys and mimed striking out. They all shook their heads and sighed. The dude looked at me cautiously. "Um. Sorry." He squeaked.

"It's ok dude." I smiled at him. "They're a bit pushy. You sure I can't buy you a drink?" He gulped.

"I'm straight." He said. "Sorry- I mean you can buy me a drink if you like... but..." I called over the crowd to the lads.

"He's straight!" I heard the chorus of groans and turned back to the dude, who was now exchanging furious glances with the rest of his party.

"Can never tell these days." I muttered. He was trying to hold back a smile, I could tell.

"Well. Um no. I mean. You..."

"Yeah I should really start wearing a rainbow flag or something, huh?"

"Or like, work on your approach. Staring and then coming over with that angry look... ah. Even if I was gay... I'll be honest, dude that really doesn't work for you." I laughed.

"Good advice." I nodded and started to drift away.

"Have a good night." I called. He nodded and sat down with his friends, bright red.

"Worth a shot." Lee said. I shrugged.

"Stupid Ari." I mumbled. "Here Cameron, I made you a delicious fucking dinner for no reason at all. Hey Cameron, you wanna jam with me? I like making love to my stupid bass." I mocked his slightly British accent and the lads laughed.

"Cameron, it's so hot, nothing weird about lounging around in my underwear right? It's not like I'm a fucking posh stud model." Lee teased, standing up and strutting around.

"Just two burly dudes hanging out, no homo." Elijah joined in. I pulled on my hair the way Ari does and pouted.

"Cameron, I'm so fucking gay." I mimed posing for a camera and we laughed.

—-Ari—-

Maddie checked out early and I finished my wine before heading inside. My ears started to burn as I heard them. I glanced at Cameron.

I watched him as he mocked me. My dumb accent. The way I play with my hair. The way I walk. I watched, and I caught Tama's eyes and quickly looked away and went home.

I wish he'd just told me.

It was ok. I knew who I was. It didn't bother me these days.

He should have told me. I would have stayed away from him.

—-Cam—-

Tama nudged me on the shoulder.

"Ari saw that." He said. "He just walked out." My face fell. I glanced around the table and they were all equally gutted for me. At least they're good lads.

"Shit." I said. "Did he cry?"

"Don't think he's the crying type." Spike said. I stood up.

"I better go." I said. "That might take a fair bit of explaining."

I did try to call him but I wasn't surprised when he didn't pick up. He was sprawled on the couch playing Sekiro and flinched when I got home, reaching for something to cover him- not that there was anything. It's the middle of summer. He blushed.

"Fuck, thought you'd be out longer. Sorry." My eyes lingered on him. He was literally wearing a singlet and briefs.

"Ar... what you just saw in the bar..." He stopped me.

"Cameron I'm used to it. I've been dealing with that shit my whole life." He paused and his chin jutted out as he looked at me. "Thought YOU were better but..." I sighed.

"Ar. We weren't mocking you ok? It's complicated but they were... trying to comfort me."

"How?" Fuck, I hadn't got that far. I couldn't tell him the truth, 'I'm in love with the only person in the world I can't fuck', because that was a stupid thing to tell him. But Ari would see through a lie. I groaned and sat at the kitchen table as Ari got up and turned off the Xbox.

"It's really hard to live with an underwear model." I said quietly, glancing up at him. He paused and his eyes went wide as he looked at me. He leant on the arm of the sofa and folded his arms tight against his chest as he looked at me.

I couldn't help it. My eyes drifted across his body- his shoulders, his big thick thighs with hair sprinkled over them, his forearms... and finally his face. His mouth was hanging open. He cleared his throat.

"Try living with Stephen Adams." He said. My head jerked up. He had a slight smile playing at the corner of his mouth. He ran his eyes over me, intentionally. His eyes snapped back to mine and I felt sweat prickle at my forehead. No, fuck off Ari, you can't look at me like that.

"Ar... Tui..." Ari inhaled and uncrossed his arms.

"Is that why you haven't...?" I nodded and he looked at me thoughtfully. And then, painfully slowly, he pulled his singlet off.

"Hot isn't it?" He said with a grin. Ari, you utter bastard. I glanced at him and tried really hard not to focus on his abs, and a slight tan line where his briefs were sitting a little lower than usual. "Cameron..." He said, and that was it, I was done for. I moved across the room and wrapped one hand around his waist and the other in his hair and pulled him close to me, pressing those firm abs against me. He moaned and looked up and me, and I totally forgot how to kiss, like a fucking idiot, and just sort of hungrily mashed our mouths together.

"Cam." I grumbled. "No one calls me Cameron."

Ari laughed and pulled me into him. He wrapped his legs around me and put his hands on either side of my face, gently directing me. He let me in again slowly, glancing between my eyes and my lips, and licking his own... I blushed as I realised this was one of Ari's moves. And no wonder. It was so hot. The second kiss was better because he was in control. His tongue moved aggressively with mine and I let him lead, pressing my hips to his and feeling how hard he was through the fabric of my jeans. I put my hands under his legs with every intention of picking him up but he broke apart and looked at me apologetically.

"It's all muscle." He wasn't bragging, just stating a fact. "I'm a bag of rocks." I sighed and pulled away from him, jerking my head in the direction of my room and pulling my clothes off as I led the way. I could hear Ari's little sigh as I marched off. Oh. Was that a bit rude? I glanced at him and he was following, picking my clothes up as I discarded them. I held back a smile.