Becoming Just Another Family Ch. 04

After dinner with my parents and Renee, I went up to my room. When I saw my long nightshirt laid out on my bed, I smiled. Ryan was somewhere hiding in the house and I'd get to see him after our parents went to bed.

One of my ongoing punishments for what had happened on my birthday was an understandable lack of trust. Even after all the months that had passed, I was no longer allowed to have my door closed for longer than it would take for me to change clothes. My parents believed that by being able to see into my room at any time, they could monitor my activities better. It was practically a moot point, though, because all of the electronics—TV, phone, video game consoles—had been removed from my room and I wasn't allowed upstairs unless I was sleeping or doing homework. If it weren't for the fact that Ryan was well-versed in sneaking around the house from his time living there and my desire to be with him, it might have worked.

Upon returning home after staying with my brother for the weekend and admitting our feelings for each other, he had begun to sneak into the house either through my window or by using his key in one of the doors then hiding until our parents went to sleep. He preferred to confine himself to my room or the bathroom I used across the hall, but with Renee in the house sharing that bathroom, he often hid in the basement to avoid being found by her.

I had just closed my door to change into the sleep shirt when I heard shifting behind me. When I turned, I saw Ryan peeking out from under my bed. Trying not to make too much noise, I went to him and pressed my lips to his in greeting.

"I'm glad you're here," I whispered. "I missed you."

"Missed you, too. Now go open the door before they get suspicious."

After another quick peck, I did. Even though he came over during the day and occasionally for dinner, it had been a week since we had been alone together and I needed to feel my brother's hands on my body. For the next two hours, I went through our family's night time ritual feeling my body becoming warmer. Just knowing that Ryan was in the house waiting for me was enough to arouse me but fear of him being caught kept it from growing too strong.

When I returned to my room for bed, Ryan again peeked out and I leaned down to give him another kiss that was interrupted as we heard footsteps approaching.

"Good night, Rachel."

"Good night, Mom."

I saw hesitation on my mother's face before she came in and sat on the bed next to me.

After taking one of my hands in both of hers, she said, "I know you're probably angry with us but I want you to know we're doing this because we love you and don't want anything bad to happen to you. It's not out of spite or anger. We just want to know his name so we can talk to him and make sure he's the right kind of guy for you."

I was tired of the many permutations of this conversation and couldn't hold back a heavy sigh. My words were slow as I consciously chose them so I wouldn't give any indication that I was talking about Ryan. "I understand that. I do. Really. But you must know by now that I'm not going to tell you his name. I know that this is hard for you to believe but I wouldn't have done that if it weren't with the right guy. Trust me on that. Please. I understand that you believe I should have waited until I was married, but somehow, I don't think marriage—traditional, white dress, church marriage—is in the cards for me. Not because I don't want to have a family and settle down. It's just—" I took a deep breath realizing I was getting too close to admission. "I don't think I'll be getting married."

"You're too young to be making that decision now."

I raised an eyebrow. "Mom, seriously? You and Dad started dating at sixteen and got married the day after you graduated."

"You're right. And I love him dearly. But the world is different now and if you said you wanted to get married the day after graduation to a boy that I knew and thought was perfect for you, I'd try to talk you out of that as well. I don't want you to limit yourself by making a decision like that so soon. You have choices and decisions to make that I didn't at your age. You may think marriage is old-fashioned but someday you might want that stability with someone. My overall point is that your father and I are always going to be your parents and for this time at least we want to be a part of your decision making process to guide you. That's all. We are disappointed about you having sex but we're hurt that we don't know the guy. You're our baby and it hurts knowing that you're growing up."

"I get that. But I can't tell you his name. Not now. Maybe someday, but not now. Just know that it was as perfect as it could have been. I wasn't pressured and he's been a perfect gentleman ever since."

That angered my mother. "What kind of 'gentleman'"—she practically spat the word—"would do that to you then hide knowing what he's putting this family through?"

"The kind that loves me. He's not faring any better in this but we both know this is how it has to be. At least for a little while. I wish I could tell you how much in love I am, how great this guy is and someday I hope to be able to. But, for right now I can't, Mom. I just can't. And that's why I haven't fought any of the punishments you and Dad have given me. Not because I'm being stubborn, but because I respect the fact that I have violated your trust."

Mom smiled weakly then leaned in and gave me a kiss on the forehead before leaving.

Ryan slid out from under the far side of bed and sat cross-legged on the floor facing me. After our parents' bedroom door closed, he said quietly, "That was intense. You okay?"

"Yeah. But I don't want to talk about it, okay?"

"Okay." He rose to his knees and I met his lips with a deep kiss.

We kept the kiss short and he laid down on the floor hidden from the door by my bed. I laid down as well with my arm hanging over the side of my bed and we held hands in silence until we thought everyone else was asleep.

About an hour after our mother left my room, Ryan stirred and stood. In his sock covered feet, he crept into the hall to listen at our parents' door then our sister's. When he returned to my room he climbed into bed and on top of me indicating everyone was asleep.

"I want you inside me," I whispered into his ear after we shared a longer kiss.

His dick wasn't hard yet but it was getting there as he gently humped against me. "That's good. 'Cause I want to be inside you."

I reached between us to knead his growing erection through the sweatpants he was wearing. During nocturnal visits like this with my bedroom door wide open, he wore them or basketball shorts so there would be no sounds from belts, buttons, or zippers. In short order, the end of his dick began to fight against the elastic waistband confining it. With my help, it escaped and I wrapped my hand around the exposed length of flesh. It was hot against my skin and I could feel it throbbing in a way that had nothing to do with blood flow. Not bothering to lower his sweatpants, I guided his dick beneath my nightshirt and between my legs.

Ryan waited expectantly while I lined him up. With his body hovering over me, he slowly pushed into me once he was in position. With my pussy not being too wet yet and his dick just as dry, it was slightly uncomfortable as he rocked his hips back and forth. Using gentle force he gradually moved deeper with each inward thrust while redistributing my increasing wetness along his length and my pussy lips when he pulled back.

I wrapped my arms and legs around my brother as his crotch moved closer to mine. Deepening breaths escaped through my open mouth as the heat of arousal grew within me. Even though I had seen him and he had snuck into my room a few times over the past week, we had not had sex in that time. Most of his visits were short because of his work schedule and we simply talked quietly and held each other until he left. Even tonight, when I knew he was off the following day, he wouldn't stay much beyond the time he pulled out. We both feared that the longer he was in my bed, the greater chance of him falling asleep and exposing us.

Once he was fully sheathed inside me, Ryan took a moment to grind his crotch against mine in order to stretch me further. His tongue played over my lips for a moment before invading my mouth for a deep, wet kiss.

I broke it sooner than I wanted to because it threatened to pull a moan out of me. When he tried to resume moving his hips at that point, I held him at bay again. "You gotta give me a minute. I'm too worked up and might make too much noise."

Ryan's lips lifted in a smile. "Is my baby sister telling me she's finding me too hot to handle?"

Despite what was happening between us, moments like this reminded me that Ryan was still my older brother. I narrowed my eyes in response. "No. You can go. I'll be happy to finish myself."

It was an empty threat and we both knew it.

"But what would I do with this?" Ryan pulled his entire length out of me and sat back on his haunches. Rising out of his blonde forest and stretching beyond his navel, his large, curved cock glistened from my fluids coating it in the dim light. Because we hadn't lowered his sweatpants more than necessary, his balls were pushed up and out prominently where they rested on his waistband. The wrinkled sack was tight around the base of his dick both from the cool air and his arousal but was still impressively large and a good counterweight to the length and girth of the phallus above.

Like a moth to a flame, I shifted on the bed and took him into my mouth. Mixed with the taste of my own juices was the flavor of his bitter precum that was slowly but continually seeping from his tip. As I bobbed on his length with my tongue playing around the ridge of his crown, it flexed a number of times in response. His powerful man-muscle felt like it was fighting against me as I struggled to constrain it with only my mouth.

I had come to enjoy sucking my brother's dick. A large part of it was because I knew how much he liked me doing it, but a growing part of me liked it for my own reasons, one of the main ones being because it was the direct assertion of his masculinity. There was something about being on my knees servicing my brother that let me know he was in charge and, consequently, taking care of me. Even when I did it without prodding and all he did was lay there and breathe, every lick, suck and kiss on his dick was because he allowed it. Indeed, as he had told me the first time I really gave him head, I was showing appreciation for being allowed the chance to be with him and showing my thanks for being under his care, even though we were in two separate houses. Mixed with that was also the acknowledgement that I was sharing something that should have been out of bounds with my brother. Having the opportunity to do this to him and for him was even more taboo than willingly laying on my back and having him mount me. Despite the fact that I had sucked off a few previous boyfriends I knew much of that feeling came from the fact that I had been taught sex was only for procreation, not enjoyment, and that oral sex was as frowned upon as anything that wasn't essentially the missionary position. However, with the other guys it hadn't been like this. Those times had been simply a means to an end. With Ryan it was an incredibly intimate act. Even more than when he was inside me, oral sex was an expression of love by both of us, and that always brought me back to the knowledge that I was servicing him while he watched out for me.

"Shit, Rach. That feels so good but I want to be inside you, babe. Please?"

I had never heard him call me babe and the endearment hit something inside me that I didn't know existed. In that one word I felt a realization of the bond we had. We were siblings and now lovers, yet neither and both. I loved Ryan with all my heart and soul and, even though he had said it before and I knew and believed it, it was now real.

As I returned to lay on my back and spread my legs for him, I was suddenly giving myself to my brother in a way that I hadn't before. It didn't even compare to the first time he entered me and took my virginity. To be sure, I was horny and needed this fuck, but it was secondary to what he wanted and needed. That understanding only heightened my arousal as he slipped back into me and began to long dick me. I wrapped my arms and legs back around him, pulling him close and causing him to shorten his strokes.

"I love you so much," he whispered into my ear. "I'm so close. Come with me."

As if his quiet dominance was enough to make it happen, my body stiffened just as I felt his dick begin to swell within me. Through the haze of my deep but silent orgasm, I felt him filling me with his seed, binding us yet again in another secret transaction.

Ryan collapsed on top of me. Though he was heavy, it was a comforting weight and I continued to hold him with my arms though I released my legs from his and splayed them open around him. After he softened and fell out of me, he rolled off to lay next to me and peppered me with kisses while he moved a hand between my legs and used his fingers to play with his cum inside me.

After an unknown but too short period of time, Ryan gave me his fingers to clean before he kissed me a final time. "I gotta go."

While I knew it would happen, I was still filled with sadness and already missed him. "Okay."

As he stood and fixed his pants, he said, "I'll be over for dinner tomorrow and I'm going to try to hang out here Saturday, so I'll see you soon."

"Okay," I repeated.

He leaned down and gave me a quick kiss then walked out into the hall. After he left my doorway, try as I might, I heard no sound to give away his departure. However, minutes later, I heard the rumble of a car engine start out on the street then fade away.