All Comments on 'Before I Forget'

Another great story. I thoroughly enjoyed reading it. Thank you.

great work keep it up

not going to make a comment because to many of you who have never been there judge quicker than I do.

I'm glad you write on this site. for us. thanks

Very emotional! Not really a sexual tale, but wow - I really felt for this guy and his family. He was really a stand-up person.

giving this story a 5.

Initially I was not going to even open the story, because each morning when my wakes up, I check to see if she still remembers me... So far, so good.

But your story was something very different from dealing with the slow disappearance of the person. Well constructed revenge story... TU

Thanks for sharing such a great story!

Great story! A few typos, but nothing for me to honestly complain about. The story started a little rough, but once I got the feel for the pacing, it flowed very well. And that afterward...it does make you wonder...

This story resonates with me as I have a grandfather who is suffering from the same disease. Like the protagonist, my grandfather raised a large family and was the rock at the center. His disease came upon him quickly and now I help my grandmother daily with his care. Knowing the man that he was I sometimes wonder if he would have done something similar if he had early knowledge of what his life would become. I love him dearly still and occasionally find the real man staring back at me as I care for him.

Superb

This writer has done some very good stories, but this isn't one of them. The first page was confusing as hell. It took some time to get all the players straight. Then it just seemed to drag on and on. I see that everyone loves it and feels the writing is great. Maybe it's just me, but it was confusing and predictable. I knew where it was going, but had trouble wading through the words to get there. Good writer, weak story.

Thanks for the story, always enjoy your work.

An interesting story to be sure and with Dementia in the family on my Fathers side, something I think about every time I forget something. I agree with another poster about the names being a bit much and the story was becoming confusing. Finally I went back and made notes about who was who and the ability to reference made it clearer and more readable. Of course when you take notes, it reinforces your memory, so that alone helped. I don't know what it is about certain stories that makes it hard to keep track of characters, maybe too many of them?

Nice touch on the manner of his death and the saving of Elvis was a bit of genius, even if problematic for an old man. Juanita was not a sympathetic character and maybe written to be too much of a venal person. I don't know if it was intentional (doh), but making Joy gay and Josh's daughter was a bit over the top.

The subject of Alzheimer's was a nervy and novel choice for this ( or any ) author. Maybe I'm jaded, but I had a hard time reconciling the disparity of the personas of the two individuals, comprising the couple in this tale.

The wife wasn't that bright with a penchant for blatantly & flagrantly stepping outside of the boundaries of her marriage. Juanita's inner character was borderline Jezebel- esque. I don't see the capacity within her to pull off this scale of deception for literally decades.

Likewise, Paul, who as if flipping a switch, went into state of the art vengeful archangel mode after being effortlessly cuckolded for decades was depicted as being a sharp cookie. Where are the shades of grey that usually qhml1 is so deft in adding to the story's canvas ?

In the video will Paul made reference to their happy years. Perhaps if qhml1 had shown us some scenes from that period of time I could fathom the disparities in how two people with such diametrically different intellects and characters could ci-exist.

Reference was made to Paul finding his wife heart distant. As smart as this man was In executing the payback, it would seem this man would have taken much earlier & through initiative investigating potential reasons for her ennui.

This author has multiple entries in the Loving Wives hall of fame for multiple reasons. I saw evidence of these skills, even in this story which runs against my grain. In sum, this saga panders to Loving Wives core audience, but does so at a relatively subtle level.

A lot of characteristic qhml1 nuances are there to admire, yes . Yet for this one story, his foundation is open to question.

My mom had dementia brought on by Cerebral Vascular Disease. She went home in 05 to be with my father and brother.

Rare it is that I get emtipnal reading a story...this was one. Great job

Lee

I agree with Harddaysknight and Lord Slamdawgg.

Still, there were a few moments in the story I liked.

She cheated with someone that lacked ambition, but she was pleased what was available to her. As he was able, he extracted well crafted revenge and some plans just don't work out very well.

But I really enjoyed this story as it brought back memories of my mother descent into dementia. Thanks for the effort.

While there are few inconsistencies in the story plot itself... The actual story in terms of how reads is fabulous. You get the sense that the story is about a real family... with a real past. Even the connection to the dog is very well done and actually ends quite a bit of depth to this short story.

QHML1... of those who know me and know of my feedback and reviews .... know that I don't say stuff like this very often . But when I say it I mean it .

Dude you are a SERIOUS talent and a serious writer .

WOW.

Why did the dead husband allow his wife to have an affair for over 20 years could anyone be that brain dead in a small town ? I thought because of the long standing affiars and bastard children Juanita got off extremely light. Certainly she lost almost all of the inheritance money which is the only reason the cheating slut stayed with her husband. In addition I would have made the video and pictures known to all Juanita's relatives, friends, church members and quite a few bar bathroom walls.

Aside a few typos, this was a superb emotional tale. I thus don’t share Harddaysknight and Lord Slamdawgg’s opinion.

The one minor point was the fact she was able to cuckold him with multiple affairs for nearly four decades… how did she manage to keep her philandering quiet for almost 40 years? She’s not the brightest light bulb… That’s a bit unbelievable. The period’s too long.

Aside from the few grammatical errors this was a wonderful story. It was filled with emotion and no small amount of pathos. It stirred feelings in me, some good, some unsettling, and that is the true test of a tale in the end.

I gave it the full five stars without reservation. Well done!

Welcome to my favorites. Enjoyed your story. Mike from Texas.

wonderful, tender story. I've lived thru the pain of a dear relative living and finally passing with this desease. A story that brings tears is an ultimate treat.

Don't you know you aren't supposed to make a 65 year old man cry?

Which probably means I shouldn't comment, but what the heck...

A story -

I was walking through the Hirshhorn museum (DC) and I saw a piece of plywood on the wall with a few paint swipes on it... I chuckled cynically. Then, on passing, I read the card - materials, oil on canvas. On closer examination, it was exactly that...so, I had been had... and I was >really< cynically amused.

For this story, I found the names a bit challenging, but was willing to let the story develop and got everything by the end. Reading the comments (and HDK, you are one of the ones I respect enough to comment on your comments) I am moved to suggest that the confusion over names and players of the family might in fact be a bit of shtick to get the reader to be a bit more sympathetic to the plight of the alzheimer's sufferers.... or maybe not. But I would not underestimate our dyslexic web site creator, qhml1.

Green-something

(art is dangerous - not everyone should be allowed to do it.)

Well written as the population ages a problem that becomes more common place. Your handling of the subject was magnificent.

Alas, Eagle14 is quite correct in pointing out the name snafu in my comment. Color me mildly mortified. I should never have been near a keyboard with internet access without my customary 20 ounces of French Roast coffee. However to dismiss the entirety of what was said there is the epitome of throwing the baby out with the bathwater.

I reiterate that qhml1 is a writer with skills of both admirable width and breadth. My admiration for his last story was enthusiastic & unabashed with sole qualification that the principal female POV would have been the whipped cream on a sumptuous dessert of a read.

My primary quibble being Juanita was so toxic in thought and action for so long with limited intellectual capacity for artifice, her deceptions and artifices would been revealed by any discerning person. As a dog lover, I do enjoin the other readers in complimenting the author in not consigning the loyal animal to a feral fate.

because they are exactly what they're not (about loving wives, that is) and I have no interest in speculating on adulterous partnerships with no good reason.

What caused me to read this story I'm not sure why, but I think it had something to do with the one liner on the new stories page, about someone saying goodbye due to Altzeimers.

I found this story very moving, but much more about the relationship between the father and children. I could have actually done without the scheming wife - that did nothing for me. I would have found it more moving, I think, if there hadn't been the revenge aspect to the wife and her lover, that just made it bitter for me.

Oh well, she says to herself, 'just ignore the Loving Wives section next time!'

and set things correct all the way to the end. No matter what. TK U MLJ LV NV

Superbly written - deals very well with a contentious subject (as well as Adultery)

yet shows that despite everything - Karma is a Bitch !

What you sow - so shall you reap !!

Thank you author for an excellent story.

Great tale, Well written. I have come to expect such good work from you. Always waiting for your name to appear!

Nothing else to say.

There have been many terrific stories, movies etc.,

where the outcome is known but there is still

plenty of drama.

This story fits in that mold. We know roughly

what the ending will be but just "how" it ends remains

to be discovered..

It is a terrific story.

Thanks for sharing.

On a cold wet day, what a treat to read your heart warming story.

Boyd Percy

I enjoy all your stories but this one really got to me. I thought based on the throw away line andthe LW designation that it would be the alzheimer sufferer discussing her afairs or her knowlwdge of his affairs before she forgot them sort of like "the Letter". Anyway your take was much better. Thank you

Why go to all the trouble of plots and names and dates and storyline - and then not bother to edit it?

3*

Some times you read some thing that is okay or just good but I have to tell you this was a fantasic little story and reall very moving. Excellent job

One of the very best stories I've had the pleasure to read on this site

I had a lot of trouble well into the half-way point with all the names thrown out in rapid succession. I think state law would prohibit taking wife out of the will to such an extent. However, it is just a story and it worked. Good read.

As the story began, it held great promise. But, alas, the author got lost along the way. I wasn't the only one who couldn't remember who was whom. That part of the story could have flowed better if more attention had been spent on the outline before fleshing it out. Some observers rationalize that was intentional. Maybe so, but it sucked.

We readers spend considerable time reading a story, so it should not be posted here until it is finished. If the author had just reread it once, he would have found many typos. I can't imagine spending all the time it took to write this one and then not have a third person read it (volunteer editors here are free) before posting it. Your readers deserve that much.

Next time, spend more time on the outline.

Cute trick with the will, but it's not really possible to use one's death the way one can't with a divorce. As a shared property, that house would go to the wife. He might be able to cut his kids in on it, but cutting the wife out like that doesn't work.

Also, secretly filming someone in an office where they have an expectation of privacy, is not only questionably legal, but allowing said affair to go on in violation of the same contract after witnessing the proof is one way to ensure that you lose any legal protection you might have hoped for when it becomes obvious that you were using that material as a form of leverage. Legal trucks and shenanigans are fun, but authors really assume way too much when "getting away with things" on Lit.

If it's questionably legal, it's probably not, and slapping a "my lawyer vetted all of it" on the husband doesn't legitimize.

Quality and innovative story as always, but your continuing use of alternative legal realities belongs more in the Sci-Fi/Fantasy category.

Very moving and heartfelt. And well written. Soon it will be in the Hall of Fame.

I'm giving it a 3 since it needs some editing (missing words here and there) and the way the story was told was a bit confusing.

i want to say something, but i forgot what it is.

Sad, but interesting and well written. A good story...thanks!

Good story but not one of your better efforts. I got confused and lost several times during my reading.

I still appreciate your work. Thank you for sharing your story.

Please keep writing.

Brujay

of a scene from the movie 'Weird Science'

One of the more memorable quotes was:

"Why are you messing with the fantasy? We know the reality. Don't ruin the fantasy."

So...enjoy the fantasy. It DOES have some very engaging emotional moments. For some, that is enough.

Poignant. Stories like this are why we have that word!

Quibble: too many pronouns, too few proper names.

Minor (kinda) quibble: several gender-neutral names, like Sidney and Ronnie (call her Veronica the first time!) three women are in the room, talking, and it is 'she told her not to get in her way or she would mess her up!' Huh? Clear as a bell to the author, who knows exactly who 'she' is and who 'her' is ... Less clear to the reader, who doesn't have a program!

There are some cases where the reader is dropped into the middle of the action with too little background data ... the suicide fishing trip to the point is a case in point (hehe)! Elvis Dog messed up catching the 'big'un' but was it before or after he was left without food for two days? Not really critical what order it was in, but it was distracting.

Those quibbles aside, it was a great read. Full score for the imagination and thought. Thanks!

I Liked it and thought the Revenge was Appropriate.

This one really touched home, i lost my mom to that terrible sickness, unfortunately we had to watch her go the whole sad distance too the end and she wasn't allowed the dignity to leave but had to stay to the bitter end.

Thank you for writing this story, i have liked most of your other stories bot this one really deserved the 5* that i gave it, just wish i could give it even a higher rating.

Keep up the good work, i cant wait for your next story .....

Well told and interesting tale. While it was a bit predictable, the death of the old guy was told very poignantly and was the best aspect of this story. Excellent. Thanks.

Great story, but for goodness sake find someone out there to line-edit your work for the typos and dropped words. They're out there and they're free.

I liked the originality, but it had some flaws; first, there were numerous mistakes in grammar, you need a proofreader. Second, the first part of the story was very confusing, too much bouncing around. I know the times and dates were supposed to alleviate that problem but it actually just added to it.

I still liked the story and gave it high marks, just not the highest.

The story was okay - the Alzheimer's gave it at least the feel of being something a bit different - but the plot was still very black & white. It was all just too neat - especially the reactions of the characters - there were no nuances, not even the slightest nod towards real life and real people.

It could have been very good - but it needed much more development.

liked this. thanks.

I absolutely was enchanted with this spectacular story. I did not care for the gutter slut wife (Juanita ) I think the whore got exactly what she deserved! I would like to hear if Juanita is still happy as clam? She didn't get a penny but she still has her lover of 20 years, so I want to know if she's happy with her true love? Fucking whore! Why didn't she just leave the poor man after realizing she didn't love him? Why stay married to him for 20 fucking years & continue to sleep around? If this was all about the money, she would've gotten half the assets so why did she allow that poor man to waste his life on a stupid slut who didn't deserve him? Did she hate him that much? The fact that she felt absolutely nothing upon learning her husband of 20 years had an accident while she was too busy getting butt fuck by josh is a little scary to me; How could you not have a shred of feelings for a person you've spent 20 years with? The cum slut is a psyociopath ! She showed no emotion no empathy; in fact her first thoughts were " if David does than I can get all the assets instead of half"--wow! Was Juanita always like this? I can't help but wonder if this had always been a personality trait of hers & David chosed to ignored it, or did she hide her gold-digging slutty traits well? I actually want to kill Juanita & she isn't even real! I think she's a gold-digging, selfish, delusional cum slut. Excellent story. Please write another chapter or two.

This is another well told story qhml1. There is a sensativity to the personalities and emotions of your characters that really does come out. One more proof reading pass to catch the remain typos would help the readability, but even those typos don't get in the way of a really great read.

thanks for posting. may i write juanita's story? she and josh get aids and die, end of story !

Emotional, touching, and nice to see justice done, etc., etc. Interesting how the fishing trip went down.

Juanita's cheating was frankly just too much, and her plan with Josh too unclear and convuluted (20 years of planning, and the farmstead was in hubby's name the whole time? Well, a couple of mental midgets at work, I guess....). It became almost distractingly absurd. Why did they drag Juanita to the hospital when hubby was dead? I also didn't think the additional excerpts from the tapes was necessary.

Setting all that aside, it was a very good story. I think it could have been elite with a little outside editing for content and story flow (and just a very few grammar/spelling/word choice errors).

Still, I gave it 5*.

I lost my sister to that Horrable illness. You nailed it!

ED

Great story and well told. It touches me in a strong way because both of my parents lost their minds several years before death took them and I watched their gradual decline and slip away. Neither of their illnesses were diagnosed as Alzhiemers but the results were similar. Thank you for your sensitivity to this deadly disease. I am looking forward to reading your other stories.

It is a horrible disease that almost all of us are touched by with family or friends afflicted. So sad to see a strong,healthy body with no mind. A few other thoughts:

1. I got a headache trying to keep the names aligned with the characters.

2. But, I did without going back to check. Was that a Alzheimers test?

3. I'm 75 and it's not easy to make me tear up--you did a couple of times

4. I waited to comment so as to be 69th, oh well 68th and someone owes me one.

5. I can't recall now. Oh, yeah. Don't let some of the habitually wrong commenters (slumdawg, cantbuy, badger, 45, etc) worry you. If HIV, the patriarch of LV commenters, says you are good, you are.

You are a great writer and Lit readers should be grateful for you sharing your talent.

I am, and hope you will continue to entertain us.

tom anon

I watched my grandfather waste away with Alzheimers disease. It was almost tougher on my grandmother then him. RIP! He thought they had two different houses, two different cars and it was all some conspiracy made by my grandmother. They were both some of the most honest loving people I've ever been around. When he started losing his mind and accusing grandmother of all those things it was terrible to watch. We all knew that it was the disease messing with his mind, but for my grandmother to be so strong through all of it and never diminsh her love for him was pretty amazing. I hope they eventually find a cure as I'd hate to know someone else has gone through what my family did when my grandfather had alzheimers.

This was a great story and very well written. 5*

5 stars because no 6 stars!

Great story. Fuck the small handful of white trash losers that like to leave their slime trail across the good work of their betters. Yeah, you know who you are, you pathetic assholes.

To the FEW of you who got lost in the family tree, I would suggest that you do NOT read stories such as 'Lord of the Rings', 'The Foundation Trilogy', or anything written by Shakespeare. Hardaysnight, I am very disappointed with you and hope that you can re-read the story as a story and not as an author looking for fault. Dr. Seuss would be very disappointed with you as well. The FEW other quibblers are just out of line.

A lifetime of betrayal. The whore got what she deserved. NOTHING.

Damn

I Have read this story many times. Thank You Again For Sharing.

.... now where's Juanita's story? :) Hope that it'll be as good!

when you do....Make It Futuristic, TK U MLJ LV NV

Sometimes a story works despite the wholes inner the plot, the mispelins and the misteaks with their grammer. Sometimes it doesn't...

This was one of the rare few that does work in spite of all of the above. qhml1, isn't it time you started showing the readers here what you really are capable of?

sympathetic,,,,,,,,,,,pathetic

You're at risk for Alzheimer's if your MOTHER had it. It is transmitted in a non-Medelian fashion via mitochondrial DNA.

2) PLEASE watch out for the repeated use of pronouns when there is more than 1 person involved else readers have no idea who you are talking about.

3) LOTS of grammar errors: sentences missing words, the instead of they, etc.

"We tried to cover ever contingency, but you never know."

I assume you meant "every"

"I let them watch the cover DVD, and then gave each of theirs."

I assume you meant "and then gave each of THEM theirs."

"When we told her we wanted to adopt after college and established in out careers, it sealed the deal." I assume you meant " When we told her we wanted to adopt after college and WERE established in OUR careers, it sealed the deal."

etc, etc.

I too believe we ought to have the right to make choices about the end when we want to and no one else ought to be able to interfere - even if it means some people change their minds in the last second of panic.

In my experience (40 years in hospitals) very few change their minds in these situations.

Awwww. I cried! The poor guy. And horrible Juanita >:(.

A very good story !

A galaxy of stars

a life well lived was a life worthwhile. TK U MLJ LV NV

Of this story!

I would have liked to know why Juanita didn't love her husband. Did she, right from the start marry him for his money?

Emotional powerhouse.

His death was wonderful and an answered prayer.

I have never been so moved by a story.

Thank You!!

He even left the whore with a house......I would have bequeathed her .10..... one thin dime....glad to see the family shunned the piece of shit.

Strange to have Harry really like this one and HDK didn't like it - kind of bass ackwards. I don't remember my reaction after the initial post, but reads very well second time around. Sad story, though. And Juanita is one of the most heartless women's portrayed on the site.

even fucked her lover on the eve of her husband's funeral. Can't get much colder than that.

thanks

A good yarn. Unfortunately the mish mash of characters had me confused trying to sort out relationships, this apart,it was upto your usual standard.

Thank you.

When I saw it dealt with Alzheimer's I thought it would be boring so I put it on the back burner. I read it today though, and regret waiting.

I read the comments. Yes, it was confusing at the start; too many names too fast. Yes it was predictable, but aren't they all? And yes, there were mechanical problems, but I attributed them to your eagerness to get it up on line. Just slow down from now on.

I really liked the story. I liked David and his kids. I liked Sydney. I haven't checked, but Juanita's story needs to be told. I didn't like her much at all. What did I like about this story; it was creative and original, and it was told with almost no rancor. David's disillusionment and anger never needed to be addressed; he was too much of a man to be belittled in that fashion. He let his actions speak didn't he.

Certainly five; keep writing. You're one of my favorites.

Author's ask readers to vote & comment .

i voted 5 stars .

sadly , i cannot find the words for the comment.

xxxhugsxxx

godbless & be well

TwistedOliver.

One has to have experienced this to really appreciate the pain and hopelessness of the situation, to have written this, I know the author has--Bless You,

Sam

Not enough stars for this story...I am going thru what David is going thru and have been for the last few years...Gary Allen has a wonderful song about memories...but he has it wrong...it isn't the memories that are killing me but the ones that I can't remember...thank you for a great story

Wasn't sure I was interested in the Alzheimer's angle, I'm SO glad I decided to check it out!

I hope you DON'T give us Juanita's story!

Based on her comments here, I don't see how she can have anything positive to offer. I'm sure she'll have some self-serving excuse, but really, she's just a selfish slut.

But go ahead and write it if you would like to, I personally that all her relatives continue to shun her. I lost my Mother to dementia, I hope that I never get it. I told my kids that if I get where I don't know them just to stick me in the cheapest NH they can find. I consider what David did was justice. A great read.

Read it with tears the first time! This time is no different.

Thank you for sharing this story and the inspiration behind it.

or at least their own perspective. TK U MLJ LV NV

Great story line. Fantastic writing.

Should be a tale of seemingly endless drudgery with no joy. Every day the same, long, tiring and hopeless. Not sure how you could make it interesting, though.

Jaunita doesn't deserve a story, I'm sorry but that's how I feel. Thank you, Mike

First of all, if you are going to use date headings on paragraphs, it’s less confusing if they are in date sequence.

Also, I believe the first date is wrong, that it should be 5/11/11. I say this for several reasons:

It is a Wednesday, and 5/9 is a Monday and 5/14 is a Saturday.

Saturday, 5/14 the cookout that was proposed in the first section occurs, which would obviously be impossible if the first part WAS on 5/21!

Second, it may not be hard and fast, but USUALLY “Sydney” is used for a female name, with “Sidney” being used for males.

Finally, include me among those who doesn't care to read Juanita's stoty!