Before It's Too Late

I bought a couple of pairs of second-hand jeans and a few t-shirts, threw my home clothes in a dumpster, got a job waiting tables in a café, found myself a bedsit and took off my wedding ring.

Most of all I had time, all the time that I had never had to myself at home, no pulls and tugs to cook meals or do laundry, no schedules for school runs or all the other kids' activities and I had the freedom to be me, just me and I loved it.

I know it was it was selfish, it almost broke Rob's heart; the children were confused, wondering why their mother wasn't with them and why grandma seemed to have taken over her role but the reality was that it wasn't the real me that had left, it was the lady who was playing the role of housewife and mother and if I hadn't left then I truly believe that I would have snapped under the strain of being somebody that wasn't really me and then they would have lost me - for good.

I was that close to quitting this life.

But of course, the saving grace was that Rob was wise and patient, not hysterical and angry, and he just got on with the business of work and family, believing always that in my own time I'd come home.

After work in the evenings I'd hang out listening to music in the clubs and bars and I realised that I was still an attractive woman and that men wanted to talk with me or to share a drink and sometimes more but I always declined. I hadn't run away to have a fling or an affair, to become involved with someone, not that I didn't have sexual feelings, and some of the men who tried to chat me up were very attractive, but I'd left home to rediscover me and to feel like an individual again, able once more to value myself for who I was rather than for who I was married to or whose mother I was.

But there was one guy, quite a few years younger than me I guessed, who had started to come in the café every morning on his way to work.

I noticed him because he was almost beautiful, as if a sculptor had tried to take all the best features of a man and form them into his work and yet somehow had failed. His full lips and fine nose, eyes that captivated and a strong lithe frame, all perfect in their own way and yet somehow, they failed to meld.

He was always friendly and polite and we'd chat and smile and when a couple of weeks later he asked if I'd like to have dinner with him, I said yes.

His name was Jerry and we met for drinks at six thirty.

He seemed very nervous as if he had little experience of dating but he was sweet and had bought me a single rose from one of the flower stalls in the market.

He asked me what I liked to eat and so I suggested a fish restaurant I knew and by eight o'clock we were sat opposite each other and when he'd reached across and taken hold of my hand I'd let him. He rubbed the mark on my ring finger where my wedding ring had been, gently massaging the spot with his thumb as if trying to erase it or perhaps fathom out why the ring was missing.

I smiled at him and shook my head gently.

"Don't ask Jerry. It's a long story and it's not for now, not for tonight, if ever."

So our conversation was light and inconsequential but good fun all the same. He had a keen sense of humour and we laughed a lot. By ten o'clock we were walking arm in arm towards my bed-sit and at the door I stopped and turned to face him.

For a moment we just stood there, me wondering if he'd try to kiss me, and Jerry, kind of frozen to the spot as if he had no idea of what he should do or what was and wasn't acceptable.

"Why don't you come up for a coffee?"

It was as if he'd been waiting for a signal from me or perhaps he thought it was code for 'I'm yours' but no sooner had I asked him than he pulled me to him and kissed me on my mouth, his tongue darting against my lips.

I pushed him away laughing

"Hey, steady tiger, it's only a coffee. You do understand?"

Immediately he released me and took a step back from me, looking down and apologising as he did

"Sorry, s..s..sorry, I..I.. ...sorry."

"Hey, it's ok, just don't be so eager, take it easy, there's no hurry." and taking his hand, I opened the street door and led him up the stairs to my room, put on some music and started the coffee to brew.

"Sit down, make yourself at home" I called over my shoulder.

There was only the bed to sit on and Jerry was perched on the edge of it like a child waiting to be given a present or perhaps reprimanded. I put the coffee on the bedside table and sat next to him, taking his hands in mine.

"I'm so sorry about what happened downstairs" he stammered, "I don't know..."

"It's ok, it doesn't matter, it was nice that you to wanted to." I smiled at him. He was so nervous.

"Not been on many dates huh?" I offered.

Jerry blushed deep red to his hair roots

"No not many, in fact only a couple. I'll go if you want."

I couldn't help but smile. He was so sweet, so young, maybe twenty-one or twenty-two to my thirty-six years and so, so innocent. I leant forward and pressed my lips gently against his and then more firmly, taking his lower lip between mine for a moment and then kissing his cheeks and his eyes and then his lips again, more firmly this time, tracing their outline with the tip of my tongue. He opened his mouth and pushed his tongue against mine.

"Ssh, gently tiger, slowly, like this is the most precious moment of your life."

I kissed him again, teasing his lips with my tongue and this time he opened his mouth a little and I let my tongue find the tip of his, tentative little touches at first, then more, allowing my tongue to follow his and his following mine until his tongue was just on my lips, waiting, wanting. I opened my mouth a little, inviting him and now wanting him as he took his cue from me, this time his tongue teasing mine and then as I opened my mouth fully to him, swirling his tongue ever deeper with mine, our lips locked together as we fell back against the pillows, our feet still over the edge of the bed. He stopped suddenly as if startled to find himself half lying beside me so I kicked off my shoes and he followed suit, kicking his off as well and lying beside me, this time both of us fully on the bed. We kissed again and I lifted my t shirt and bra, guiding his mouth to my breast, wanting the physical contact and needing his eagerness.

I could feel his erection hard against me and I pressed against him, pushing my mons against his loins as he suckled eagerly at my swollen nipple.

He started to thrust against me rhythmically and I wanted him, wanted to submit to my own need for sexual contact and let him make love to me but then suddenly he stiffened, arching his back as he thrust against me, a half strangled cry escaping from his throat as he quivered against me, his orgasm overtaking him, prematurely betraying him, unrestrained and, for him, unrestrainable and I cradled his head against my breast as he spent himself, tensing with each release, soothing him, holding him to me in his moment of despair.

In a while I undressed him and then, undressing myself, pulled the covers over us. He was covered with his semen, wet and sticky on his belly and in the tangle of his matted pubic hair. I ran my hand over him, massaging his cum into his now flaccid penis and cradling his shrunken balls, pulling him close to me, pressing my belly against his, savouring the sweet body scent of this so very young man as he curled into me, seeking comfort as if from his mother.

I knew then it was time to go home. I'd been far too close to something happening that I had never intended but the memory of what might have been that night stayed with me and Jerry became the image of my fantasy lover.

Whenever I wanted, I could conjure his face into my mind and let him have me in any way that I could imagine for, because Jerry and I hadn't made love that night, his memory wasn't tainted in any way; he was unblemished and I could let my imagination run wild.

Some nights with my husband Rob, when his hands would creep under my nightie but I wasn't really in the mood, it would be Jerry's face and Jerry's imagined hands and body that I would be surrendering to, feeling him penetrating me and the sensation of his youthful explosion of semen filling me. I would be a million miles away from our marital bed, enjoying in my mind that very young but eager lover and when I orgasmed I had to be careful not to call out his name so that 'Oh Jerry...' became 'Oh Jer...eesus...' but when I was on my own, masturbating, it would be Jerry's name that I hissed from between clenched teeth as I came, for he was my secret lover.

Was this deceptive of me or was I deceiving myself? Well both probably but it allowed me to fill my mind with the fantasy of making love with another man and yet not endanger my marriage by actually doing so.

Don't misunderstand me, life was good and I loved my husband as much as any woman can and relished the feel of his body on me, in me, taking me, filling me. But inside me there was always an itch born of that unconsummated night with Jerry and I knew that someday I would have to scratch it.

Chapter Three

Rob meets Elaine in the mall

It was a couple of weeks later when I bumped into Elaine in the shopping centre. She had spotted me first and called out.

"Hey Rob."

I turned and she was standing waving and smiling at me.

"Hey, it's so good to see you." She came over and embraced me, perhaps a little effusively but nothing more than that.

"We had such fun with you two the other night, you are both such good company."

She took my arm as we walked and I offered to buy her a coffee.

"Look, I hope you don't think we were coming on to you at dinner."

"No, no, not at all. It was an interesting conversation."

"Wasn't it though?" She glanced from side to side and pulled me to her, as if making sure we couldn't be overheard before continuing with a conspiratorial whisper. "It made me horny as hell and I really jumped on Mike after you two had gone."

I was a little taken aback at Elaine's openness but joined her laughter. I was aware that as we talked my mind was wandering and my penis stiffening, imagining again being 'spoons' with her in bed. What would she be like and would she really say 'Fuck me Rob, fuck me' as I had imagined when I was in bed with Jen?

I ordered a couple of coffees and we sat opposite each other and for a moment we looked intently at each other, both smiling slightly as if we both knew what the other was thinking.

I certainly knew what I was thinking, that Elaine was a very attractive, sexy lady and that I'd like to get to know her better, very much better. I broke our gaze and spoke as I stirred a little more sugar into my coffee, not daring to make eye contact whilst I spoke.

"We must get together again. Why don't you and Mike come over to our place sometime soon?"

I looked up and Elaine was still smiling at me.

"Really? Oh yes, that would be so good, we'd love to. When?"

"Well," I said, pulling a pen from my jacket pocket and writing on a napkin, "Here's our number, give Jen a call and fix a date. I'll tell her we met." As I said the words I knew where I wanted this to go but was I making a huge mistake, thinking that Elaine and Mike really wanted to swap, to have sex with Jen and me? And what about Jen? All along I'd sort of assumed that Jen was interested as well but that was just based on the tone of her conversation when we'd talked around the subject at dinner with Mike and Elaine.

Perhaps I was putting two and two together and making five.

But then there was Jen masturbating next to me in bed, not with me, but alone and for herself.

Of course, Jen might do that anyway when I was away on business but somehow this seemed different.

Was Jen, my lovely loyal Jen, up for this as well?

Elaine smiled as she took the napkin from me, brushing my fingers lightly with hers as she did so.

"I'll do that Rob." she said looking at me. "It would be good to see you both again ... soon." That little pause as she spoke, emphasising 'soon'. There was a smile flickering around the corners of her mouth and an intensity in the way she held my gaze as she folded the napkin before putting it in her purse.

"Well, I must go, things to do, places to be." We both stood and I helped her with her coat.

"I'll call Jen later. Bye." and with a kiss on my cheek she left, turning to wave and smile before disappearing into the crowd of shoppers.

I sat down and finished my now cold coffee. Was this something, would we really finish up swapping with Mike and Elaine? I shook my head. This was crazy and I was reading far too much into it, letting my imagination run away with me. Elaine was just a very lovely, friendly and tactile lady and in any case, if nothing else, we'd have a good evening and enjoy their company.

But I did hope that there'd be something else.

Later, when I got home, I told Jen about my meeting Elaine and she seemed really interested, even excited.

"How was she?" she asked.

"Oh very bubbly. She's a real live wire and very attractive."

"Yes she is, isn't she, very attractive and Mike as well. I like them both." There was no hint or tone in Jen's reply to suggest that she was uncomfortable with my remark about Elaine.

"It'll be good to have them over for supper." Jen continued. "I think that the four of us could become very good friends."

Was there an enthusiasm in Jen's voice and her choice of words that suggested more?

We'd made love a few times since we spent the evening with Mike and Elaine and it was our usual warm and comfortable lovemaking but there were moments when Jen seemed distracted, as if her mind was on something or someone else and I confess that my mind wandered as well. I'd catch myself concentrating on the sensation of my penis sliding in and out of Jen and trying to transfer the feeling as if I were making love with Elaine. Would Elaine feel like this? Would she feel hot and wet like Jen or tighter or looser or more aggressive or what?

Was Jen doing the same as me, trying to experience my penis as if it were Mike's or someone else's?

Jen kept her vibrator in the drawer of her bedside cabinet and I checked it one morning. It worked fine but there was no way of telling if it had a new battery. I noted its position in the drawer and then checked a couple of days later. It was in a different place which must mean that Jen had been using it. Well maybe she'd always used it during the day - I'd never checked before.

Never checked!

What was happening? Here I was spying on my wife. Was I jealous of Jen's vibrator or just very excited that she was using it, wanting to believe that it might be a precursor to something with Mike and Elaine? I knew this couldn't go on. I had to do something.

The next morning Jen was at the sink rinsing the coffee maker as I readied to go to work. I stood behind her and put my arms around her, pressing my semi erect penis against her butt.

That was another thing; I seemed to have an erection most of the time nowadays.

"Do you know how much I love you and what a very sexy lady you are?"

"Hey that's nice hon. And you're a very sexy guy too." She turned her head so that I could kiss her as she wriggled her butt against my now fully erect penis.

"Now is that all for me or are you saving it for someone else?"

I was stunned at Jen's words. Was she suggesting something here? I decided to play along with her.

"Well, it's all for you if you want it but I'm sure there are other ladies who might fancy a bit of your handsome husband."

I was intrigued to see where this would lead.

"Oh really?" Jen made a show of snapping off her marigolds, turning as she did so that we were now facing each other. She put her hands on my butt and pulled me into her, grinding herself against my erection.

"And what about the guys out there who fancy a piece of your very sexy wife?"

Our eyes were locked and we were smiling at each other. It was still a game, but only just.

"Which other guys do you have in mind?"

"Well, I got the distinct impression that Mike took a shine to me the other evening and I don't think you were disappointed with Elaine, were you?"

So that was it. Mike had grabbed Jen's attention but I still wasn't sure. I tried again.

"Ah I see. That conversation at dinner hey? Is my lovely wife thinking of joining the swinging set?"

I'd thrown down the gauntlet; what would Jen say now?

"Well I don't think I'm the only one in this family that got excited at dinner that night. You had a boner that was threatening to bust your trousers, didn't you?" She grinned broadly at this and slipped her hand down between us, holding my now rigid cock through the fabric of my suit.

"We've been together long enough for me to know what you're doing when you try to shift your chinos to make yourself more comfortable. In any case, there was a huge wet patch on the front of them when you got up. You think I didn't notice, or Elaine?"

She let go of me and gave me a playful smack on my butt.

"Anyway, enough. You've got to go to work and I have things to do here at home," she added giving me a kiss, "and if you still have that boner when you get home there's a lady right here that could use some of it and that's a promise!"

I don't think I was much use at anything at work that day. My secretary asked me a couple of times if I was ok, if there was something on my mind and of course there was. My mind was filled with thoughts and images of me with Elaine and of Jen with Mike and the more I thought about it the hornier I became; I had this vivid image of me having Elaine from behind - spoons - while we watched Mike and Jen really getting it on.

My mobile phone beeped: I had a txt message from Jen: 'I'm in the bedroom. Call me'.

Jesus, what was wrong now? I called her straight back on my mobile. I didn't want this call going through the office network.

"Hi darling, it's me; are you ok?" I needn't have asked.

"Mm, I'm more than ok. I'm hot and horny and so very wet for you. Are you hard?"

If I wasn't I was now and hard wasn't the word for my condition. I had an erection that was positively aching.

"Jesus darling, yes I'm hard...very hard. What are you doing?"

"I'm lying on the bed and I have my little friend working for me giving me those good vibrations." I listened carefully and sure enough I could hear the soft purring of Jen's vibrator coming and going as she worked it up and down her folds and around her clit.

"Why don't you stroke your cock for me and cum with me? That would be good."

"Jesus Jen, I'm in the office, I can't." That wasn't strictly so. I had my left hand in my trousers pocket stroking my cock and at this rate I'd be cumming in my underwear fairly soon.

"Naughty boy. I know you have a private washroom off your office. Why don't you go in there and tell me what you're doing?"

I pushed my chair back from the desk and nodded my head towards the washroom as my secretary glanced through the glass partition at the noise. My god this was crazy.

Locking the door, I sat down on the john.

"Ok, what now?"

Jen's voice was husky.

"Undo your belt and fly and let that monster cock of yours get some air but hurry, I can't wait much longer.

I did as I was told.

"Ok I did that; what now?"

"What now? You're asking? Just stroke yourself until you cum hon and let me know 'cos I want to cum with you."

I could hear Jen's breathing becoming ragged and the little mewing sounds she always made that heralded her orgasm.

It didn't take me long.

"I'm cumming Jen...cumming." and boy did I cum. I had to point my cock forwards to keep it off my suit trousers and soon the floor was spattered with my semen. In the midst of this I could hear Jen yelling:

"Cumming baby, cumming."