All Comments on 'Before We Talked'

This couple had some serious problems, the first one the absence of communication. So, no need to add other cheating, because two wrongs doesn't make a right: the divorce is the only way to follow with anyone on its own separated road for a new hopefully better life.

If she's the heroine (as NTH wants to claim) then let her walk with none of the husbands assets. But in reality we know that's not going to happen...

Bashir, I found your comments interesting.

I'd agree with you about the man at the gym, but for a different reason. I have always noted a difference in men and women ending a relationship. Men tend not to want to hurt their former partner. Women don't care and can be desperately brutal in discarding the now insignificant other, who they I have now realised is quite useless. I have seen more than one woman reflect on how brutal they were a good while later. As I last observed this the person with me commented that women are like monkeys, "They don't let go of one branch (partner) till they have a firm grasp on the next branch." No it wasn't the Manchester Metropolitan Mysogynists and Mysanthropes Monthly Meeting. I try to be open in accepting there are differences between the sexes. BTW, being gender neutral we have tried to open up the meetings to missandrists, but from what we have read they appear not to exist. Well nobody ever mentions them!

I too dispair at commentators who want writers to finish the story. Many of the best tales are left open ended.

The problem with tropes is that they are tropes and few writers have NTH's skill in putting a different spin on them.

I would comment that the story isn't just open ended. We know nothing about how they arrived at this point. I.e. Who set the agenda that now was the time to reconnect? Had the wife been so totally absorbed in the children that she made her husband a stranger for years? Had the business the husband had developed allowed his wife to be a stay at home mum with no raison d'être beyond the children who now merely needed to fill a gap. Conversely, he could have been banging several of his staff for years and have one or more proxy families. We know nothing.

I do agree however that the sneer closed down some options.

Surely this is the joy of reading someone else's stories. If we knew the beginning the ark and the end point, where would the fun be in that?

Many thanks as always NTH FOR your musings.

Excellent summary of a marriage gone by the wayside...some of us have been there and get it. 5*s to you

Lowest rating I've ever given one of your stories.

A few really good stories, then this... two stars.

To reflect on many of the comments others have made about it not being played out, NTH chose to take a 750 word story and take on 400 words of editorial about why he didn't want to finish it; to me this is what makes it frustrating that those same words weren't just used to get to the end.

I agree with most other comments that if this was an attempt to portray the HWNNT trope as a real conversation from a truly (rather than lit-style) loving wife the guy at the gym was unnecessary and in many ways detracted from the goal, and even if she was going to dress up for him to try to catch his attention, the divorce or separation papers would have been a far more appropriate inclusion

"Somewhere in there--I don't know exactly when--it became his lover. He promised he'd never cheat on me, but what do you call it when a man obsesses over something to the point where he'd rather make it happy than his wife?" - the irony of this paragraph in the context of their intimacy changing when the kids came along, I wonder if the protagonist has ever recognized that her husband might say the same thing about her, only her lover left her and his didn't. she talks about trying to get it back, but it's disappearance is just "Yada yada yada", which is why it probably has never worked.

And I know, lots of people will say that kids deserve that attention, but so does paying the bills for those kids. This does look like an all too real yet unfortunate story where raising the family highjacked the relationship, and this story is so short it does a disservice to actually reflecting on how their relationship withered. This story would have been far better served with actually fleshing out the conversation, ideally with the protagonist taking responsibility for how she had let things slide too if she was actually interested in rebuilding their marriage. I appreciate that the husband's sneer was meant to make it clear that there's no happy ending (and even to imply the conversation is a waste of time), but if I understand NTH's intro/epilogue and comment this story wasn't about a reconciliation or divorce but about the consequences of years of errors from the wife's perspective and so I wish that conversation could actually have been had from the wife's perspective and with the husband's responses.

Not very good

Begs the question, how long should someone stay and fight in a loveless marriage, when a spouse no longer puts you first, or in in the top 5.

Many men become with being the breadwinner that they forget the "bread".

'.

10 Big Blazing Stars for Mr NTH for a Great Loving Wives Tale. I Note that there is a another note from another ex-administrater explaining how this Great Loving Wives Tale isn't really a LW tale. I would think that an official note would have a "Letter head" or something. NOT another "anonymous" poster thinking he is an adinistrater. I guess I am just confused. LOL NTH you are still one of the Best. thks, Buster2U

I love this writer. I didn't like this. I know it's short, but I have no sympathy for a character that feels that cheating is the resolution of another problem. Both characters in the story (husband is only referred to, but is a character) are unsympathetic. I feel like all stories need someone in the story to root for. Nothing in this story suggests why the wife wouldn't be waiting with divorce papers instead of a cheating announcement, other than this website has those kind of stories. Typically, this author does a great job with stories that make sense. This one didn't.

No talent here..... *

I love your long stories. If you would have told me you were going for a 750 word contest, I would have laughed. 5 stars...I hope you win!

Thank you. ‘Loving Wives’ is a strange brew of good sex, struggling relationships, and misogynistic revenge fantasies. This piece will be divisive because it can’t possibly make everybody here happy, but it’s worthwhile all the same.

Seems like ... in most of the stories on this site ... the woman/wife always views herself as without flaw or blemish or faling, and, if the husband does not always do as she expects or better, he is deemed inferior and promptly cast aside. Do those women simply reflect the modern American woman? Are there any stories which address and maybe answer these questions? If so, which ones?

How I've come to despise these god damn blurbs. You give us an interesting premise and then fuck all. It's maddening.

I believe there is merit to the story. If you want a happy marriage you have to work at it. I don't see how anyone could blame this lady for wanting out.

So becoming a cheater is the answer here?

I don’t think so.

If you are that unhappy divorce is the way forward not cheating.

3/5

I love your stories, but your recommendations suck. I read the two stories by Kit. The first was ok at best and the second was about a whore who tried to be a decent wife, but realized that she was just a whore and trashed her marriage. That's a woman's PoV? No thanks.

I was the hard working successful husband and was looking forward to renewing excitement at home when I retired at 61…Found it wasn’t so simple. Tried everything but still interested in a full sexual life. Would not even call myself bi anymore, a great decision actually…

I read it again. I am now thinking when she has the talk it will not necessarily be a “me or i cheat” talk. The guy at the gym just means she will find someone to pay her attention. She indicates she will choose a new life.

I think she will not cheat. She will say me or divorce. She will tell gym guy she is available but it will be during or after divorce.

I like it. 5 stars.

I don't understand people that focus too much on their career. It's just a damn job. The point of a job, from the worker's perspective, is to give you wealth in order to provide a better quality of life. But if you just work, work, work, then you aren't really living life, thus you defeat the whole purpose of having a job in the first place. It seems the husband here has lost sight of that and in doing so has also lost sight of his wife and marriage. He will lose it if he doesn't see sense. I can't blame the wife's thinking but at least she's not a cheating slut. I've seen a few "honey, we need to talk" stories that have this premise and they are good, especially when the husband sees the error of his ways and recovers the marriage before the wife leaves. I wish more would write them instead of cheating or cuck shit. :)

This story seems to say "why am I not at least some priority level around here? After reading this I started asking my female friends to level with me about their relationship and how many of them feel they are taking a back seat to everything? I was surprised how many said they felt disconnected. I naturally didn't ask if they were moving to something on the side, but still over 60% felt neglected. I read many stories I this tag but few address this point of contention... I wonder why? As for this story It was short and very on point. I enjoy the writers perspective and thing the naturalistic endings was great motivation to explore how neglected wives feel and deal.

Hi NTH. Thank you for the shout out! I started getting a lot of comments on my stories and wondered why. Now I know! :) I am guessing your story hits home for most women readers. Deep down we understand that our husbands need to put in the hours and the constant mental attention to their jobs. We get it. But also, deep down, we feel marginalized and taken for granted. I know from a man’s point of view it feels unfair. I know this because my husband has heatedly told me as much. But like your MC, unfair or not, the feelings, emotions, emptiness wives feel are real. P.S., The black dress and heels made me think about what I would wear if I was going to confront my husband with an ultimatum. Nice detailed touch.

Great story, it brings the reader through a thought process leading up to the infamous four word conversation, and conveys the emotions and struggles that drive the MC to bring the situation to a head. Given the 750 word stipulation the author covered an amazing amount of ground, and any further addition would be redundant to the main objective, i.e. the cause rather than the conclusion of the drama. Many thanks NoTalentHack :-)

I, for one, applaud any women who write LW stories.

They are so few and far between, that the 90% male writers on this website overshadow any of their efforts.

So please WOMEN start typing your best LW efforts - give us guys something else to consider.

I look forward to reading your stories.

Have a nice day.

Bet she makes sure to "get hers" on the way out the door. Bet she won't be complaining about how much effort he put into his business (not "just a job" as some shallow thinker below put it) when she's depositing those alimony checks on her way to meet the guy from the gym that "sees her". She'll probably even feel entitled to that money, as though she somehow earned it.

Lesson learned, guys, get a pre-nup and keep it current.

It's the paradox of female behavior - they want all the shiny stuff, but want a man who pulls it out of his arse with a magic teacup. The man wants to make his wife happy, wants to feel proud of himself in one of the few ways a man has left to feel proud of himself, so he devotes himself to his work. You can generally say it's a blameless situation, except really the blame is all around as the time to have the "We need to talk" conversation is generally miles before things get to the point of things such as infidelity (and no, you can't be unfaithful to a job, that's rubbish - until money is not required to live and until women stop craving social status, a job will always be a measure of a mans worth in a relationship). Generally speaking, men come out worse in these relationships because their sense of identity comes deeply under attack. Imagine living in a place where everyone tells you every day you are doing the right thing and that you ought to be proud of yourself and then one day, finding out that it's all been ripped away from you by the person you were doing it for and you're left feeling nothing but remorse for wasting time (time, after all, is money and money is time) and shame for being a gullible fool. Personally, I feel like Ronald Reagan signing the first "no fault divorce" laws in the country was the starting point of the downfall of marriage as society institution, which is a shame, because it's an extremely useful one. I also think it's no mistake that at least in the western world, the only non-first generation immigrant demographic that has sustained relatively high marriage rates are wealthy white people. Having generational wealth seems to lead to reasonably happy marriage expectations. Who figured?

I loved this. I admit I'd love for you to flesh it out more because, you know... Lazy mind of the reader 😃

I will say that the idea of spending most of your time at work IS wrong when not necessary. I know too many people who would rather work late and go out for drinks after vs going home to their family. There's no reason MOST people in the West can't make their family comfortable without working constantly. I learned that the hard way, but at least early enough to fix it....

Just put in the time at home. Take vacation. BE with your family when your are home instead of working on your phone or laptop constantly. Dinner without TV, so you can talk to the family. I started cooking home early to see my son, make dinner, and spend time with my wife. Then I'd go back to work on the laptop... I'm luck I can do this, but we can all find a way to give the most important thing to or family ... Our time...

And... Not just a male problem anymore. Most household are dual income now, and getting closer to parity in pay, albeit slowly...

Firstly I am a man/husband and VERY much a family man..having made that clear,I agree with your perspective from a long standing faithful wifes viewpoint..If a husband puts his job that far ahead of his family,he does not deserve a family.A job is a just the means to an end,not a life.I myself cannot imagine missing time with my wife and kids by choice,as the kids grew up adult hood and time spent with their off spring because of my job.Yes I did for 3 years because of the economy in the early 80s when the oil industry tanked and to survive I worked on sites away from home from weeks to months at a time..Those years I missed from my family growing up can never be recovered...JZK

More feminist agitprop

First, let's talk about your story. It had a fairly well thought out back ground (not complete but) that was well expressed. I don't know enough to agree with her reasoning...but, that is not the point of the story. I enjoyed it enough to be a 5, that was until I read and followed your link to 'Nick's story that was supposed to be as ground breaking as February Sucks.

Well, I was very disappointed. The only reason it got the amount of response it did was because she called out male writers saying they put women in a bad light. And, then her story painted an even worse picture than the male writers had done. She dropped us into a story that the reader was suppose to know her intent, and then she continued to write herself even into a deeper hole with the reluctant sequels.

A HINT FOR ALL WRITERS... details matter.

Totally behind the wife on this. She deserves better that a cold, insensitive chunk of ice.

Truly, my heart breaks for her.

Good lead for a great story…

That’s a great take on the wife’s point of view. If we neglect our significant other for so long, how can we be surprised when someone else doesn’t.

Well, the end is clear.

He enters, sees his wife all decked up.

He sneers! With annoyance!

The story should have finished here.

*****I like your style your writing is pretty good too. Thanks for sharing. 👀On You👀

Brilliant. At least 8 stars out of 5

Nice switch from the 98 percent being the wife's fault. Thank you - 5 stars (not a big fan of 750 word tales but I'm just one person)

somewhere east of Omaha