Behind the Scenes Ch. 11

I had been blind. Stupid. Selfish. I had endangered Connor because I couldn't keep myself to myself, and because I let my feelings cloud my judgement. Connor deserved to know, she was right about that as well.

But she was wrong about one thing. Bringing Connor further into this, that wouldn't protect him. It would endanger him even more. If our closeness was what endangered him in the first place, then there was only one thing that would keep him out of harm's way.

There was only one thing I could do to protect myself, and to reverse the mistake I had made in getting close to Con. Gran's words still rang through in my head:"You could have refrained from engaging in anything more than a professional relationship with him!"

And that was it. That was the mistake that had put Connor in danger. That would be the cartel's motivation to get to him, to use him as leverage to get to me.

There was only one thing left to do. To finally, once and for all, save myself and everyone around me from the illusion that I could possibly live anything close to a normal life.

One thing left to do. Break a heart to save a life. My own heart, for Connor's life.

I didn't hesitate one second.

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Connor's POV:

Okay, so maybe Leo wasn't really the best actor I'd ever seen. He was really good, granted. Maybe better than me, if his casting video was any indication. But this morning? That was one of the worst performances I'd ever seen.

Whatever Leo was up to, it wasn't just a trip to a medical clinic to pick up the results of an STD test. His entire mood and demeanour had changed when he came back to my room this morning. It felt uncomfortable, forced and strained. There was definitely something else going on, and I didn't like the fact that he felt like he had to hide it from me. Even if it was none of my business, or something that he just didn't want to tell me, I would have felt less worried if he'd just told me that. Now I didn't know what to think.

I couldn't stop myself from thinking all sorts of things.

Had he gotten bad news from home? Did he have to go back? I almost didn't dare imagine the worst, what if Leo had second thoughts about last night? About what he wanted us to be?

Fuck.

I wouldn't be able to handle that. No way.

But I was getting ahead of myself. And besides, what we did last night was real. Fuck if it wasn't. I knew what I felt, and I knew that he felt it.

Never in my life had someone made me feel like that. Maybe it was intense, maybe a little too much so. And maybe it had scared Leo a bit. But no I'd be damned if I was going to let that pull him away from me.

He was mine now.

The knock on the door startled me a little bit. By the time my hand reached the doorknob, I'd already made up a textbook of arguments on why whatever Leo was thinking was completely wrong.

"Leo, listen we-"

Leo stood there in front of me, holding up his hands. The look in his eyes was stoic and crestfallen. It certainly didn't promise anything good. And it kept it's promise too.

"Con... We uhm.. We need to talk."

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Author's Note

So, this is where it really kicks off. There will be more than enough smut and fluff and whatever you guys are checking this website for on a daily basis, but this story is big and comes from a special place and I want to do it justice.

Stay tuned, because I'm back.