Being Jim Ch. 06: Lessons of Life Pt. 06

Author's note:

I would like to apologize in advance to my readers. In the retelling of this story it sort of took on a life of its own. Normally my tales are fairly brief and concise, this one however seemed only to grow as I put pen to paper. (Figuratively speaking). Since it did turn out to be rather long I have decided to break it down into several smaller portions both for ease in posting and for reader consumption. That said... I hope you enjoy this long winded tale. It is a true story, all of this really did happen.

Life is a tapestry, a cloth woven of many different threads that create the whole. This story is a thread, one of many, contributing to the waft and weave that is the Whole cloth, being Jim.

Being Jim Ch.6 Lessons of Life

By Frodov

This story is based entirely on true experiences from my past. Names and a few details have been changed to provide anonymity for those involved. Discretion is a precious commodity and is becoming rarer and rarer every day.

Sometimes to better understand the "whole", the big picture in its present state you must pick a thread and follow it back through the weave to earlier times or events, to see the interactions that colored that thread or created it. Often one thread is formed from multiple smaller connected threads, much like the cloth is woven from many threads. But isn't that life? This story reaches back to my time in college. I was working full time mostly in a part time job delivering pizzas to pay for my gas and insurance to allow me to commute to and from school and home. Remember this all happened before cell phones and the internet, cable TV was still in its infancy. The 80's big hair bands, big hair, a different time.

-Part Six -

I did, in fact, dream about Michelle that night. It was an odd dream but wow! There were candles everywhere, and music blasting from a stereo. I found myself on a high bed, Michelle's bed? It was a four poster with gauzy drapes and curtains, shadows danced on the ceiling and the walls. Michelle was dancing, with Penny, and the two of them were singing and having a great time. Maggie was standing in the doorway watching their antics and she looked over at me and smiled. Maggie and Penny were both in their usual robes, Michelle was naked except for a hair band holding her hair back out of her face. As the song Sugar Sugar wound down Michelle had danced over to the bed and was climbing up on it to join me... and then my alarm clock sounded. CRAP! I rolled over with a groan and buried my head under my pillow hoping to go back to my dream but that was just not going to happen. With a sigh I rolled back over and silenced my alarm much to the appreciation of my brother on the other side of the room. I had to get up earlier in order to get my work done before cleaning up and heading to the University after all. All he had to do was roll out of bed dress and eat breakfast before catching his bus to school.

First day of classes as expected was both tedious and uneventful really. The hardest part was first finding the particular classroom or lecture hall where the classes were to meet, then madly scribbling down notes about books and study aides that the professors expected each student to use. Then there was the syllabus for each class... Man! Wouldn't it be nice to have some way of taking a picture of it all and having it to look back at when you needed to? Oh well, I have my notes.

Much like my first semester, I found the most aggravating part of the day was coming and going from campus itself. Being a student not living on campus I was relegated to parking at the stadium and riding a bus back and forth to campus. And I had to pay for that privilege too, those freakin' parking stickers were not cheap. Memorizing the schedule for the bus was just another hurdle in my college education experience. Wonderful. By late afternoon when I finally got to Dom's to get ready for my shift it actually felt like home as much as my work place. At least everything there was familiar. Dinner rush was familiar too as well as the teasing and jibes I got from the girls at the shop, Jules of course being the chief instigator among them. Yeah... home.

Business slowed down to a crawl after dinner rush came and went, I asked for a break so that I could use the phone. I guess my manager had been informed by Jules so she didn't seem the least bit surprised and told me sure go ahead. Again Sam answered when I called their house. She was actually halfway pleasant this time however so it wasn't so bad, and in no time Michelle was picking up the phone.

"Hi!" She chirped when she finally got to the phone.

"Hi babe... how were classes?" I asked

"I think they are going to be great! Well... except for chemistry anyway... UGH!" she grumped.

"You don't like chemistry? I love it! Or at least with a certain squirrely little curly haired girl I know anyway." I added in a matter of fact kind of voice.

"Squirrely?" Michelle asked incensed then giggled. "Okay, I'll let that one slide, but you better watch it mister." She scolded. "Hey, I found out that my chemistry proff actually worked with Penny years ago." She added.

"You talked to your professor about Penny?" I asked dumbfounded.

"No silly! I told Penny who my professor was and she told me that she knew him and they had worked together." Michelle explained.

"Oh... okay, that makes more sense I guess." I admitted. "Wait, why did you call Penny to tell her who your professors were?" I asked again confused.

"Ugh! I didn't call her to tell her who my professors were I just called to talk and it came up. I call her and Maggie all the time. Girls gotta talk you know." She said giggling at my lack of understanding. Yeah, girls talk... it seems to be a constant in my life that somehow or another has to be driven home time and time again. "She did wonder how your first day back went, I told her I'd ask you and let her know, maybe Thursday." She added.

"Why Thursday?" I asked still puzzled. For all my lessons and classes and tutoring, the way women's minds worked still eluded me.

"Penny asked me to go with her to pick out new carpet for the apartment Thursday since I only have one class in the morning. Maggie has an appointment and can't go with her. She told me that her school starts back up next week and they wanted to get it picked out and ordered this week." She explained.

"Oh, okay... that's cool I guess. I can't imagine looking at carpet is all that exciting though." I said dismissively.

"It's still shopping though!" Michelle said with a giggle. It's a universal fact, women, most anyway, love to shop. Even for things like new carpet, who knew? Michelle and I spoke for a few more minutes but soon it was time to get off the phone and get busy cleaning up and closing the shop down for the night.

"So when are you moving in with Michelle Jimbo?" Jules asked as she passed me pushing the mop and bucket towards the front of the shop.

"Moving in? What are you talking about? We've not talked about anything like that." I asked wondering if she was just pulling my leg.

"You haven't?" She shouted back going around the corner. I had to follow her to collect more pans to begin washing anyway. "To hear Sam talk Michelle's already got plans." Jules teased giving me another rendition of her trademark smirk.

"I spent one night and now we're planning on moving in together?" I asked incredulous of the whole idea. "I mean I'd love to see more of Michelle but we've not talked about any of that. Hell we've only been out a couple or three times..." I said searching my memory for any clues or even hints that Michelle had that idea. "Besides, she already has a roommate and I don't think Sam would put up with me very long. I'm not even sure she likes me much." I said as I rounded the corner towards the sink in the back.

Jules brought back another load of pans and screens for the wash a few minutes later and picked right back up on that conversation.

"Sam is a fan you know. First of all you treat Michelle like a princess and Sam appreciates that more than she'll ever let on, and second, you brought her doughnut holes." Jules added with a giggle as she went back up front.

"Doughnut holes?" I asked myself out loud as I continued scrubbing pans. "What the hell do doughnut holes have to do with anything?" I wondered.

It was a while later as we were walking to our cars after locking up that Jules made her parting shot for the night.

"You know Sam and Michelle's house is a three bedroom, right?" She stated more than asked, giving me that lopsided grin of hers. "They had another roommate last year but she moved away so they use it as an office now for studying. Sam's already considering letting you rent that. You'd have two roommates Jim!" She said with a grin as she got into her car and rolled the window down.

"Jules... I don't know anything about moving in together..." I said plaintively, almost apologetically really but my mind was in a whirl considering the possibilities all the same. Jules had planted a seed in my mind, an idea, one that I had not even considered until she brought it up. Damn! Women can be evil sometimes! Seeing me lost in thought and knowing what I was thinking about Jules just waved and said good night and drove off leaving me standing there perplexed.

Tuesday and Wednesday were pretty mundane both at school and at Dom's. I didn't close either night so I had a few minutes to talk to Michelle each night before driving home to the farm. Both nights I was dying to ask Michelle about this idea of moving in together but I just couldn't bring myself to broach the subject seemingly out of the blue. I didn't want to give her the impression that it was my idea or that I was pushing things between us. We did plan on a date Friday however. We were actually going to dinner and a movie... and maybe more but that was only hinted at as two lovers are want to do. To say my spirits were high would be an understatement. I was flying... I was on top of the world. I was head over heels in love with this gorgeous girl. Someone that I could spend hours just looking at, lost in her eyes, but to hold her, and be held by her... And she was in love with me... I was living a dream.

Thursday was my last day of classes for the week, I had two actually. My English Lit class met on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and I also had an introduction to Psychology class on Thursday afternoons. It was a trippy class and it was taught by a trippy professor too. I remember the first day of class everyone filed in and found a seat and waited for the professor to show up. About ten minutes after the bell rang one of the guys sitting halfway back in the classroom stood up and walked to the chalkboard. He turned and looked at the whole class, making eye contact with everyone in turn. He smiled and turned to look at the chalkboard... the blank chalkboard... and asked what we all thought of his artwork.

There were a lot of puzzled expressions and questioning looks traded back and forth amongst the class. Was this guy nuts? Who is he? I know, I was one of the ones thinking the same thing but then I had an inkling of an idea. This guy was making a point. Perspective I thought... about that time this guy said the word. Perspective. He went on to say that all of life is a matter of perspective. Each of us views the world form our own perspective and like it or not it is usually unique to us and us alone. It's when two or more people share a similar perspective that abstracts become more than simply perspective. Whoa... That was deep. I loved it. I could tell that many in the class were not liking this kind of thinking though. I wondered how many would end up dropping the class.

I pondered what the professor had said after class as I made my way via the campus bus system back to the stadium to get my truck, and then on to Dom's for the dinner rush. I was in a good mood as I collected my bank for change and began making deliveries. Yeah, I was on top of the world... but as I would discover more than once in my lifetime it's when you're flying high that life tends to yank the rug out from under you.

I had just come back from making a delivery in the middle of dinner rush when I saw Jules standing by the manager's desk as I rounded the pizza ovens to make a drop of cash from my last run. I said hey but Jules was distracted. I started to grab another pizza for delivery but my manager asked me to leave it. Puzzled I looked at her and she had a weird expression on her face, of sadness. I thought she might not be feeling well and was about to ask when she averted her eyes and told me I needed to go sit down in the back, that Jules needed to talk to me. Okay now I was really confused. But I shrugged my shoulders and went to the back to the desk where Jules was leaning against the wall with her arms crossed intently studying her feet. On closer examination it looked as if she were upset. In fact, it looked as if Jules had been crying. Surely not, not Jules... crying?

"Jules... hey... what's up?" I asked perching on the side of the desk near her.

"Jim... put your bank in a bank deposit bag, we can come back later and get you checked out." Jules said in a very tight voice. Come back later?

"Jules, it's the middle of the dinner rush I can't leave now..." I began still confused, this was a weird prank even for her I thought.

"I'm not fucking around Jim, come on, we have to go NOW." Jules looked up with a steely red eyed look that was not going to take no for an answer. Then she swallowed and averted her eyes again and nearly choked out. "We have to go to the hospital right fucking now!" She sniffed.

"Hey... Jules... what's wrong?" I said as alarm bells were going off in my mind. What in the world would get Jules upset enough to cry, and we needed to go to the hospital?

"I'll explain on the way, but we got to go now buddy... quit fucking around and come on already." She said in a tight voice. So I grabbed an empty bank bag out of the desk and dumped my cash in it and locked it pocketing the key. I started to tell the manager that I needed to take off but she just waved me on and said "Go". So I followed Jules out to the parking lot but she told me to get in her car, she would drive. Now I was getting a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach.

Jules pulled off from the parking lot at Dom's like a bat out of hell. I don't think there was a traffic rule or law that she didn't break on that drive to the hospital. I was clutching the dash and holding my seat belt for dear life. I studied Jules intently on the drive, her eyes were red and she was still shedding tears. Her jaw and bottom lip were trembling as she tried to find the words.

"They were in a wreck Jim..." She gasped and snorted trying to clear the tears from her eyes as she roared through traffic.

"Who was in a wreck?" I asked.

"Penny... and Michelle..." She choked out her lips trembling even more now. "Maggie's at the hospital." She added. The sick feeling in the pit of my stomach just imploded. The wind completely left my sails and all could think of was getting to the hospital and to Michelle, and Penny... Oh god no.

"How... how bad was it?" I asked fearfully, my own voice shaky even in my own ears.

"I don't know... bad... I... I don't know." Jules choked out swerving to go around a slow moving bus.

We pulled into the emergency room hospital entrance and parked near the doors. Both Jules and I ran to the doors and stopped inside looking for Maggie. We found her arguing with one of the nurses. She was demanding to be let in to see Penny. The nurse was telling her she was not family so she was not allowed. About that time a doctor emerged through the doors and pulled the nurse aside and spoke quietly to her. The nurse looked startled but then nodded and came back over to Maggie. She told her that she could go back to see Penny, seeing me and Jules and how upset we both appeared she nodded to us to accompany her as well. The three of us followed the nurse back to one of the emergency bays. There hooked up to IV's and a ventilator lay Penny. Her face was almost completely obscured with bloody bandages. One eye was half opened, the other covered with bandages. She saw Maggie and her right hand lifted slowly from her side. A blood stained hand. Maggie grasped it with both of hers and kissed it softly reassuring Penny that she was not alone.

"I'm here Pen... I'm here... it's okay babe. Just rest now... it's okay." Maggie choked out. Penny's right eye teared up and she closed it tightly in frustration at not being able to say anything. Once more she opened her eye and saw me standing beside Maggie and a look passed over her face that made my blood turn to ice. She tilted her head back and clenched her eye closed tightly in obvious distress. She opened her eye again and stared at me her bottom lip swollen and cut, trembled around the tubes stuck in her mouth and down her throat. In that look she told me how sorry she was and that she loved me. That was when Jules took me by the arm and pulled me away. I stumbled along as if by no will of my own. Jules had spoken quietly with the nurse just outside the door and now she had to tell me the rest of the story.

"Jim...I'm so sorry... she... Michelle... She didn't make it." She stood there holding my hands, her own trembling. NO. NO! NO! NO! my brain was screaming.

"That's not even funny Jules." I spit out. "What room is she in?" I demanded turning away to find the nurse or a doctor, someone, anyone who could tell me where Michelle was. "Jim! She's gone... I'm so sorry." She tried again.

"NO! You're lying!" I growled, turning away. "Michelle! Michelle!" I shouted turning about looking for anyone to help me find her. I was having trouble seeing for some reason, my eyes were out of focus, everything was blurry. "Michelle! Where are you?" I shouted again. Then someone wrapped their arms around me from behind pinning my arms to my sides. Jules held me tightly, her head pressed to my shoulder as she said she was sorry over and over and over. Then Maggie stepped into my view, standing in front of me. Her eyes were red, those beautiful amber colored eyes looked so sad with tears streaming from them. Her lips were trembling even while twisted in a painful hurt grimace of sadness. Maggie stepped up to me and wrapped her arms around my neck and just held me cheek to cheek. "Noooooo" I cried as my whole world came crashing down in that cold hospital hallway.

I have no recollection of how long I stood there in that hallway, held in that embrace between Jules and Maggie. My mind was gone. When I finally was aware of my surroundings again I was sitting on some institutional bench in that hospital hallway. Maggie was sitting to my right holding one hand and Jules sitting to my left holding my other hand. Both had their heads resting on my shoulders. Both shoulders were wet from their own tears. I felt numb. I felt cold. I felt like I was no longer even in my own body but observing things from several feet away. That's how I saw it when the doctor came out of Penny's bay and pulled the curtain back over the doorway. He saw Maggie sitting with Jules and I and came over and squatted down next to her. With a somber face he looked into Maggie's face apologetically and told her softly that he was sorry but that Miss Ridgeford had succumbed to her injuries. I felt Maggie's hand clamp down on my own as the realization hit home that Penny, too, was gone. Beside me I heard Jules whimper and dissolve into a silent wracking sob. Her hand went limp in mine. Maybe it was because I was numb with my own grief over Michelle but I had the presence of mind to know that Maggie and Jules needed me as much as I needed them. I had to man up. I had to help them. I raised first Maggie's hand and kissed it, then Jules' hand and kissed it as well. I then raised my arms and put one around each of the girls to hold them gently as they both shook with sobs of grief. Jules and Maggie held hands in my lap and each held the hand of the arm I had around them.