by Choppedliver
Interesting to see some of the btb troglodytes on this story. She doesn't even know what happened and was incapacitated and got conflicting accounts. Sigh.
But yeah the last couple pages had too much verbiage. Need some pruning. Lot of repetition and verbal handwringing. First two pages set up well and then lot of monotony over something that would be largely a nothingburger for any reasonable person.
The broken English was too much the read. A lot of sentence that either had a key word missing. or there would be a wrong tense word that made the sentence make no sense
Great concept. But I don't think I could listen to someone blabber that much bullshit for that long.
Tell our don't tell, decision for the bride, but don't pretend not telling is for the benefit of the groom. It isn't. But in any way.
It wasn't for the wife of the mc either. It was just selfish wanting to save the marriage. In her case if the guy couldn't accept she was either raped or her friends made shit up then why may him. In the brides case.... Well, turn that shit around. Her husband got a blow job at his bachelor party at getting a bit tipsy but still in control morning. Just barely remembers it, and there's video of him drunkenly coaxing her on and face fucking her. Does the bride deserve to know before walking down that aisle? Hell yes, and the groom fits in this case.
I think I'm out with this author. Judy don't enjoy the stories based on direction, the long monologues, and the contortions of logic and emotion used to make simple things seem deep and complex.
I'm afraid it was much too long, too repetitive. It could have been dealt with in about one page. I doubt if many readers will have the patience to get to the end. I certainly didn't.
Good story. But long. But emotions were portrayed well. Given the circumstances is a no brainer for reconciliation. Yes she should have told him when it happened but it is understandable why she did not. Those who severely criticize her for not immediately telling him, are not putting themselves in her shoes. Now after 20 years, and especially with him overhearing her confession to the other young girl, he is able to process the information like a mature adult and a real man and loving husband. Not sure why isn't rated higher.
This was about the most boring story I've read. Started skipping paragraphs. Sorry but this one is not to my liking. Too much bullshit. 2*
I agree with two commentators, much too long, too redundant and too much bullshit. I also, skipped paragraphs most of the pages. "2"
Only a few readers will very truly appreciate tis work of art.
To me the most important point was Ivy was wiling to relive her pain to help another. That is a true heroine.
Enough with her 8 day explanation upon returning home from the slut fest... it went on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on!!!