All Comments on 'Being Special'

Too long too confusing, good luck on you're next one

First story!

4

Four pages of repeated guilt? Why? Truly a loving wife story but from a wife that doesn't really know what she did. The whole story could have been done and solved in two pages.

It's not just Ivy whose special, I think they are a special couple

What an unreadable drag. Pretty much like when such things happen irl

Nope its harsh but no one would forgive this. The only way to forgive this is get payback. If that means finding the one she cheated with then so be it. Also giving her a taste of her own medicine.

Great first story. Keep up the good work!

Well done, good friends are few and far between.

Wordy but good

Thanks for writing

I stopped reading at the interrogation.

She comes home. Drunk. Exhausted. In need of a shower and he forces her to recount her evening? Looking for any sign of infidelity?

Fuck you.

he sounds like an abusive husband, believing his wife would cheat on him at the first opportunity. Why do I say that? Because his automatic default is to assume she cheated on him. And who has a conversation when they’re hammered?

Seriously, you need to re-examine this story and see if it makes any sense.

Way WAY too long and dithering. OK, you wife or girl friend got falling down passing out drunk, and someone claims that while in that condition she had a guy's cock in her mouth. Sucked him, who knows? Came in her mouth, who knows? Swallowed his cum, who knows? She was too drunk to even remember, so NO ONE knows. OK? So What Fucking Difference Does It Make, since it might not of even happened! No One Knows!! So what the fuck is this story supposed to be about? The wife feeling guilty and confessing that someone claims she sucked a guy's cock at her bachlorette party? No, this is all High School level drama and psychobabble. So some day some old friend claims at your bachelor party that You sucked off one of the grooms for that old "would you suck a dick for a thousand dollars" dare, and you suddenly get sick remembering that someone did give you a thousand dollars in an unmarked envelope at the wedding reception, and you never knew who nor why. Hell, even your bride couldn't imagine who had given you the thousand bucks, so you just accepted it as some weird generous benefactor. And now some old acquaintance claims that you sucked some guy off in a drunken stupor for a thousand bucks? Maybe its true, how did the friend know you got a thousand dollars as a wedding gift? Yeah, lots of ways; doesn't matter: No One Knows If Its True, period. So what difference does it make? Its a non-issue. Just like this story: nonsense. I appreciate all the head work and psychology you tried to distill and infuse into this story, but it was just tedious and boring. Hell, maybe like this comment? Less is more. But thanks for the effort.

Terrific!

powerful emotions!! Loved it.

Please get someone to read over your work. At least read it out loud to yourself and see if it always means sense. Good storyline but misspellings and syntax hurt. My input reflects the story. Congratulations on your wonderful survival against the big C. I truly hope it continues.

For the first page+, I thought this was a lousy piece... And then you turned it into a true love story. 5* for a truly loving wife story, destined to be a classic.

Loved it, all the way thru until the ending. I would rather he TOLD her that he overheard her confession and loved and respected her all the more for it. Would have been no secrets, no doubts, no recrimination. But, I didn't take the time to write the story, you did, and I thank you for it. It's a 5 from me, and this should be required reading for all who attend bachelor or bachorette parties.

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Jesus, she blew a stripper when she was drunk at a bachelorette party. Ya know, sometimes sex is just sex, not love or emotional intimacy. I’d be more concerned that she loved letting anonymous frat boys come all over her. Seems like that’s a more meaningful kink to her that would be very hard to resist.

Very enjoyable story. Nice to see a wife who considers her husband's feelings and reactions when making decisions.

A handful of editing errors that detracted from the flow of the story.also some points that were made multiple times that didn't seem necessary to the flow of the story. A more streamlined and we'll edited version of this probably could have been completed in 2 pages and still made all the same points and had the same impact.

Great first effort from this author.

Very nice first story; perhaps 25% less text would have made it more appealing.

I felt that this was a good story with a really good premise. Some parts were brilliantly written while others not so much. I’m sure that others have suggested a proof-reader, so I won’t do that. Please continue to write! And thank you for a really good story about love! 4*!

Different -- 5* from me.

Incredibly wordy.

3 stars as it was too long for what it was. 2 to a short 3 pages. Cut out a bunch of the dialog between husband and wife .

This was a bit overwrought for the nature of "the crime'. Kept going on about the same thing over and over, made it too long

What happened to her in reality was date rape, she was not capable of consent &,any guy with half a brain would know that.

Writing stories like this require you to "thread the needle" with your writing, because your plot is based on the interaction between two people where that interaction involves a lot of nuance, subtlety of feelings and emotional engagement. That tends to lead us towards over-explaining and wordiness--you know, pack it all in within a long, complex sentence full of dependent clauses, adverbs and adjectives. In OUR head, this is all perfectly clear, but to the reader, who can't "see" what you, the creator, are visualizing, it comes off as wordy (like this sentence, might). That's why you always need a second-set-of-eyes, a beta reader and an editor who doesn't much care about your feelings. Self-editing takes a special person, and I can not self-edit very well. And to be honest, I also tend to over-write, over-explain (a technical-writing-inducted malady), and have a hard time self-editing--that's why it's so obvious. Literotica has a cadre of capable editors and beta-readers on standby.

.

Honestly, this is a remarkable story, and you caught more than a few corners pitching with a full-count. It badly needs an edit/rewrite, because much of the quality is hidden in writing that needs to be cleaned-up, streamlined and edited. Then, it needs to be reposted. I give it 5/5 for the story alone.

Very, very nice. Well written emotions. 5/5 Hard to believe this is your first story.

Very well done.

Not A bad premise. You could cut about 3/4 of the dialog out easily though. The wife repeats her lengthy speeches way too much. “He’s the only one for her”. Got it.

In the end it’s a wordy willing cuckold story. Love and respect would have been telling the truth or not having sex with the stripper.

Ultimately, the wife chose to substitute her judgment in place of that belonging to the man who was then her fiancé. She denied him the right to assess the facts and make his own informed decision about whether to marry. All the rest is rationalizations and window dressings. Somehow I doubt she would appreciate her husband substituting his judgment for hers on a matter such as whether they as a couple have children. As a goose and gander issue, the wife's suspiciously self-serving position quickly leads to either subservience or hypocrisy.

I am not sure if I liked it

But, I applaud you for putting the story out here

I agree with some of the other comments made so far, but I won't say which ones, because that would just make my comment repetitive.

A bit of an emotional rollercoaster but well written (despite what a few comments say). and very satisfying conclusion. Well done.

WOW I know it is fiction BUT to get a woman like IVY to love me would be heaven (jaybee186)

some love stories you would want to give more stars.

Good storytelling, with a very wrong conclusion.

She was self-serving, and dishonest, keeping something major from her finance / husband. She kept this from him for all those years. She was nothing "special" after all. Were I the husband, I would not divorce her. But I'd never completely trust her again.

If she had confessed immediately after that night that she was drunk, didn't remember, but that some of her evil friends said she did _____, I'd have married her anyway. There's credibility in painful honesty.

Bravo! To confess to her husband a minor and implicit oversight that occurred even before their wedding and to give so much drama to her remorse that her husband will not even think that she is constantly cheating throughout their marriage. Well done, girl!

You painted a very clear picture of a remarkably intelligent couple who both hold the sanctity of marriage as it was meant to be , in the foremost grounds of their daily lives . The depths and lengths at which Ivy went in her intervention for the bachelorette was profound and deeply moving . This , of course , reflects back to the writers level of intelligence and their understanding of the dynamics of relationships . Impressive and insightful especially for a first story submission ! Something tells me no one will ever mistake you as chopped liver ! Lol worthy of 5 stars and a standing ovation

Really really drug out - I got bored and just skimmed thru - 2*

Good story but the way they talk seems a little unnatural. Too precise. Like aliens pretending to be humans.

Also love doesn't matter 1 bit. Nothing to do with the story but the story plays this "but I love you" card that gets played in real life and in fiction. Love doesn't matter. A mechanic doesn't need to love you to not screw you when you take your car in to get fixed. A roofer doesn't need to love you to not just skip town after getting the money for the materials. Love doesn't stop people from cheating on you and so it shouldn't be a reason for you to keep them around since it clearly wasn't enough the first time. Love doesn't come with a manual that says "might cheat on you but definitely won't a second time". It's just pointless so just don't say it. Rather than saying it show it by not making their lives harder than they've already made it.

Good story but the way they talk seems a little unnatural. Too precise. Like aliens pretending to be humans.

Also love doesn't matter 1 bit. Nothing to do with the story but the story plays this "but I love you" card that gets played in real life and in fiction. Love doesn't matter. A mechanic doesn't need to love you to not screw you when you take your car in to get fixed. A roofer doesn't need to love you to not just skip town after getting the money for the materials. Love doesn't stop people from cheating on you and so it shouldn't be a reason for you to keep them around since it clearly wasn't enough the first time. Love doesn't come with a manual that says "might cheat on you but definitely won't a second time". It's just pointless so just don't say it. Rather than saying it show it by not making their lives harder than they've already made it.

Good story, especially because it appears to be a first. Effort? It was a bit overly formal and dramatic in the dialogue. As a constructive criticism only, the writer tended to bludgeon the reader with repetitive dialogue trying to make his/her point. It takes away from the story’s flow. For example the story could have been shortened by about a page, we got it. Ivy really loved her husband. Yet the author kept piling on and on with unnecessary repetitive statements supporting this fact. All in all though, good work. 4*

Thanks for sharing...

I liked the fact that your story was a somewhat realistic scenario. Although a touch too idealistic & repetitive.

Thanks for an entertaining read

This story was exceptionally poorly written. In the beginning, the wife is undressed three times: even a cursory proofreading would have caught this. The dialog, especially of the wife with her friends is ponderous and unrealistic, as is the final dialog between the husband and wife.

Welcome to LW. A fantastic first entry.

I'm certain there will be those that love this. I'm not one of those people. Sugar is sweet but this story is pure Talin, some 3,000 times sweeter than sugar. Over the top for me but please keep at it. Work on your written dialogue, it will come to you. I admire your use of dialogue, it's just a bit stiff/stilted but way ahead of pure narrative. Keep writing.

Absolute drivel

A bit too long, yes, but still a good story, which has a very good point. Men value innocence, even he forgives her and she would be faithful to the end of her days, still, from time to time the thought about what she did can pop up in his head, make him angry and their marriage will suffer.

Something, somehow inexplicably nervous behaves and suspiciously twitches this - "an innocent and almost holy wife.".. I would dig deeper... There is a very strong smell of dirt disguised with cloying vanilla.

@tangledweed

I agree with some of the other comments made so far, but I won't say which ones, because that would just make my comment repetitive. -

Now your comment has become redundant.

Good story in all, bit like a LW Disney story. In these modern times women don’t actually have those sort of intense feelings for their husbands.

Modern women are mostly entitled and self serving, they may feel this level of love in the beginning but it doesn’t last long before it’s me, me, me.

We’d all love a wife like Ivy

Pretty good and I’d say realistic. The bachelor/ bachelorette parties in my opinion have alway been out of hand and progressed to vacation weekends in crazy party places like Vegas , Caribbean and now Nashville. It’s a recipe for trouble. Groups away drinking excessive and are especially girl groups targets . In the younger party years I’ve been around plenty future brides and her some married friends taking strange cock on the bachelorette parties . I recall two friends dping a bride who was getting married the following week . Also once a future bride, her married older sister and two the the future grooms sisters totally getting fucked in a suite in Vegas for three days . A few of her friends as well . They didn’t know that the guys were going to surprise them with extended trip with them on their last day. Supposedly the got there early and went to the room with no one there waited until late in night as they returned laughing talking out loud about their fuck fest totally caught as they said they hardly were in there rooms . All hell broke loose and a canceled wedding, two divorces, at least a couple more potential divorces a few break ups . Also always bars and clubs filled with these so called freedom ending parties which in my mind is a bad way to mentally start a future marriage together.

A skeptic would say what else? I as a pragmatist would say she experienced deja bi and it got to her. Her reaction was a bit puzzling, however as she reverted back to getting plastered. I also wondered if her husband didn’t hear the conversation, how he would have handled the situation, In any case they as a couple certainly get it. Now the written story. Is so well written I can admire the dialogue as very realistic and very indicative of a strong and endearing relationship. Thanks for sharing.

Very well-written. This story addresses several important points about marriage and fidelity in a subtle and nuanced manner, with maturity and tenderness. A little humor here and there as well. The couple may be somewhat idealized/romanticized, and not all couples are like that, but I know a few that truly are that way, so it’s not entirely unrealistic. Well done - a great read!

4. Bear a dead horse, redundantly! Dh

Crap

So refreshing.Fidelity does exist.Loved it.

Hi Folks, I can't tell you how much I appreciate your taking your time and commenting. I have a lot of rough edges to sand down before the polish can be applied. I promise to try my best.

Let's hit a few of the common problems. Too long. I agree, yet I went over the darn thing five times head to foot and this is what I ended up with. Sometimes you have to jump in the pond in order to learn how to swim. I had already missed my self imposed deadline on when to publish.

The other major comment was cut the dialog. I will have to make it more pithy but the dialog performs two functions for me: dialog is where I "show" and not "tell" the story. I also hope to wrench out the emotions there. There are some who don't read for the emotion or drama and a story like this will never be their cup of tea. What I was hoping to avoid was making the dialog too sterile, as wavedave 45 already felt it was, especially when the husband was confronted with a situation he was struggling to dismiss. He was giving his wife full benefit of a doubt. If I had told it well the conclusion was he was investigating to exonerate not condemn. Both outcomes require investigation though, sad truth. And the conclusion that I didn't tell the story well enough is obvious too.

to Legio Patra Nostra: Wow! Thank you! Your comments were super helpful! It's especially neat that I have read and thoroughly enjoyed your works!

In fact I can't adequately explain the general gobsnackedness of conversing with and getting comments from many of you that I have read! I have been cringing awaiting the comments and this part was an unexpected boost.

For every one who liked it thank you very very much!

I'm still struggling to figure out how to do things like respond to comments so I have a long way to go. Your well wishes will give me stream for the journey.

To high light a couple of comments:

Wonderful story of true love, not a lot of it about in loving wife's

One of the best story i have read.

I really love this story. Very romantic and heartwarming. Thank you! Please keep sharing your stories.

Nope! Starting a marriage with lie’s isn’t going to work. Also the bride didn’t have to drink. She CHOSE to drink to the point of being unaware. Still accountable, though, or should be. Lots of stories lately that present women as lying little girls who have no agency. I don’t understand why authors write women like this, and I especially find it weird that they always have the husbands stay with these mental/emotional children. How can that possibly be attractive?!?

ZK

And yet she got drunk again without him around?

An odd story, well put together with a well paced story line, I liked the characters, I’m sure lots of “ anonymous “ comments will just say she’s a slut, but those sort didn’t have a life that is good as they don’t have any feelings for anyone but themselves

Somewhat corny, somewhat gripping, altoghether a really really good story.

Good story of loving couples adjusting to morality of fidelity. And how they were played one-last-time by faux friends. Nicely done.

Honestly, a story too long that really said nothing much. I will say, anybody who drinks excessively's responsible for their actions, whether they remember or not, whether wanted or not. It's their choice to drink that much. And here in this story, his wife at her bachlorette party got drunk & was told she gave a stripper a BJ. She's not positive it happened- or didn't. But years later, she gets drunk again. But prior to that, she saves another drunken wife-to=be? In the end, things were a bit drab; the conversation between whomever in the kitchen led one to believe there'd be some sort of deep betrayal, including the leader of the story in the beginning, but it's a big nothing. Could've been accomplished by 1 1/2 pages less. 2 stars Bob

That was a pretty good story. Lee was a total saint, and Ivey needs to stay away from booze.

Wonderful storey. The detailed reasoning behind the actions/reactions of the two of them well thought through and explained. The understanding of each other's underlying meanings during the final conversation came accross very well. The overriding love the two of them shared, and the understanding and room that it gave them during this final conversation. All of it very well done! I rarely give anything five stars, but you got five from me.

Thankyou!

Excellent story. The wife held on to a difficult secret but otherwise did everything else right. She has poor friends. It is why you should always always have a really close true friend and/or family members at a bachelor or bachelorette party.

This reads like that scene in deadpool just where he kills that guy and the steel giant pukes. The dialogue fits fantastic to this "you were just droning on and on".

Exact same feeling reading this.

Excellent one of my favorites. Very happy with the story. Keep up the great work.

Nice story but it did seem to drag on a bit too much.

Very good story. Legio_Patria_Nostra comment covered important points. Some of your critics appear to have comprehension difficulties. She acted guilty, insisted he check her for infidelity because this party forcefully brought her own possible infidelity to the forefront. So he checked, as she insisted combined with her guilty behavior and her past tense comment about giving other men blowjobs - "never had" as opposed to "never have". If someone continuously spiked your wife's drink until she passed out and then placed their penis in her unconscious mouth would you be a cuckold?

The depth in this story is amazing. Thank you

Again, a really good premise but the dialogue comes off like a monologue or an essay masquerading as dialogue.

BORING....

Good story. Depth of feeling. Her deja vulnerable triggered her need to come clean. She should have done it sooner. But reconciliation was never in doubt.

A story of true love, but so sad that she lived with the burden of her secret for ten years.

A very good story, very well written, thank you

You're a good writer except for one thing: too many words. You go on and on before each event ever reaches a climax or conclusion or other type of stasis. You wrote a good story but I got bogged down time after time. Keep up your writing. You have talent and will get better and better.

Her saving graces were of course her abject, sincere regret, repentance and constant effort to be a good and true wife, helpmate and friend to her chosen mate. She's not one of those unrepentant whores who need to be tortured till they die horribly.

A true story of love.

Why average?!

Love to see the rule that people have to get drunk and/or high at bachelor/bachelorette party!

What is purpose of getting that way when do stupid things and suffer the next day!

Yeah... fuck that

The thing I find strange is that the wife kept this big secret from her husband for so long but has no problem telling it to all these other women. She even lies to her husband about why these women are coming over and tries to make sure he doesn't hear it.

sweet but too wordy and repetitive.

@anon that said "The thing I find strange is that the wife kept this big secret from her husband for so long but has no problem telling it to all these other women."

==

HAHA uhh yeah that's what women do. Your womans gf's know all the dirty details about your sex life, how big you are, how long you last. They tell each other all their dirty secrets.

Do we mark how well the story is told, or what the message in the story is?

I don't like cuck stories, I don't intentionally read them, and if I'm misled into reading one I mark harshly.

This is a wonderfully told love story. Ivy had done precisely what she told the bride to be to do, but upon telling her that, realised she no longer wanted to hold anything back from Lee. Or perhaps she had never wanted to hold back from Lee and could just no longer do so. The "Twist" in the tale being that Lee would now hold back that he already knew from the discussion earlier that afternoon.

Why do we need this clever twist? Why not just confess that Ivy had got herself so upset last night that he did doubt her at that point. Then tell her she had made the best confession possible, one where she didn't know Lee heard it. Why do characters have to play silly games/? Just so Lee can keep a pointless secret in this case?

You did drag out the final confession scene for far too long.

A whore is a whore. Just because she fooled him doesn't make it less so. Might sound harsh but put yourself in that position. Your fiance cheats on you and then lies about it to make sure she gets to marry you otherwise the money would be wasted. Monster. That's what she is

Nice story. But you need a good editor to prune your work. Scenes wallow seemingly forever rehasing essentially the same thought dialogue.

Quit reading somewhere around the 3rd page. The story just dragged on too long, as if this author got an award or more money for lengthening a 2 page story into 4. 3 stars Bob

All of your characters just drone on and on and never shut up.

Endless dialogue. Not readable.

I lost the will to live as Ivy droned on in the kitchen.

A 3 for me - mostly for effort!

The story was set up very nicely in the beginning with a lot of tension as to what may have transpired. The final

two pages, while interesting, went into excruciating detail and soul-wringing over something that may or may not have happened. In my opinion, this should not have affected them at all. They should have recognized the event

for what it was. No harm was really done and, most importantly, never repeated while married.

I started skipping a lot of the endless descriptions and dialog. Got pretty boring after a while, with no "pop" or enjoyable climax (no sexual pun intended) at the end.

@Schwanze

And yet she got drunk again without him around? - She had a chaperone, the limo driver (ex-police officer) as well as the husband of her friend. And didn't start drinking until after all of the younger girls and bride to be were home.

Just a load of word vomit on a computer screen. Please stop writing