BeKoming Pt. 01

This story contains scenes of nonconsensual, reluctant, painful sex, and themes of queer-bashing. Proceed with caution.

*

It was funny, K had never thought of himself as slutty before he met the futanari girl in that alleyway. Well, of course he wasn't a slut, he'd been a literal virgin hadn't he? But he'd never imagined himself wanting to be slutty, was the thing. Once Rose took him, though, it was like a switch flipped in his brain, all he could think about was cock, cock, cock, be cute, be pretty, be a sexy little bottom slut...

Was he damaged by the experience? Rose was certainly abusive, even in that first encounter, openly taking delight in the pain she caused and in overriding K's consent. And yet the basic fact that it was a rape was hard for K to hold in his head, when he thought back to that evening he mostly just found the memory erotic, unbearably so, her ferocity and power, how she'd made him feel beautiful, how intense the orgasms had been. Had the girl who'd stolen his first time trained him to find fulfillment in being treated badly?

Or had he just always been a freak? It wasn't normal, after all, for a boy to practice makeup, to be building a secret stockpile of bras and skirts and panties and leggings. He used to tell himself it wasn't a sex thing. But maybe he was just lying to himself, maybe all he'd really needed was one little push to fall into the abyss.

It had been close to an hour in front of the mirror, but K was almost, almost satisfied with his makeup. Lots of struggle, lots of frustrated removing and redoing of various elements, the eyeliner on the left eye was still a teensy bit thicker than the right one, the lipstick on his bottom lip wasn't quite smooth, but... if he stood back from the mirror a little, he liked how he looked. For once in his goddamn life.

Pretty simple, honestly, just a layer of foundation that made his face look smooth, a bit of black eyeliner going all around his eyes, a bit of mascara on the lashes and, his favorite part, the bright pink lipstick, made his lips look so full and kissable. All that, paired with the soft blue off the shoulder sweater that showed off the black straps of the bra he had on underneath (he felt kind of goofy wearing it, since of course he had no breasts, but he loved the way it gave him visible little chest bulges underneath the sweater), the semi-translucent black leggings and black pleated knee-length skirt... God, the sight of himself like this, so feminine, it was absolutely electrifying, made him feel giddy, bubbly, like some sort of wild energy was surging through his body. He wished his hair was longer, wasn't a huge fan of the sandy brown frizzy little puff on top of his head. Ah well, it'll grow, give it time. He spun back and forth in front of the mirror, watching the skirt fabric twirl. He imagined himself out at a party, some tall muscular boy with an arm around him, whispering something in K's ear that made him giggle, the boy swooping in to steal a kiss from K's open lips...

Alright, K told himself, stop thinking like that, it'd be undignified to get a hardon while dressed all girly. He glanced at his phone on his desk and decided to check it. Still no reply from Scott. Fuck, it had been two hours now since K had asked Scott when he'd be coming back to the room. The idea of Scott coming back while K was still dressed like this, him seeing, him knowing, it was nerve-wracking.

And yet... K walked over to the window, opened it so he could feel the cool autumn breeze on his bare shoulders. He looked down at the ground; campus sidewalks were pretty empty of people, and it was nearly twilight, sun would be all the way set soon. He didn't want to be seen, no, but he did want to be free from the confines of this cramped little dorm room, free to roam around the campus in this new outfit. Yes... just a quick walk uptown and back, just to prove to himself he could be outside in girly clothes and he wouldn't instantly be murdered or spontaneously combust or something.

He poked his head out of his room, taking a nervous glance back and forth to make sure no one would see him, then he slipped out into the hallway and darted toward the stairwell, making his way down to the ground floor as quickly as he could, before swinging the side door of the building open to see his roommate Scott standing right in front of him, flanked by a small group of friends.

Scott blinked several times. "Uhhh, Karl? What's, uh, what's up?"

"Hi!" K squeaked. "Going out! Costume party! Big joke, ha ha!" And with that he skittered off in the direction of uptown.

Everyone's gonna know, everyone's gonna know, dammit, dammit, dammit, K thought to himself, his head filled with scenes of people pointing and whispering, or maybe Scott and some of his guy friends ganging up to beat the shit out of him, heart racing, heavy breathing...

Take a minute. Deep, slow breaths. Think it through rationally. Scott was certainly a more masculine guy than K, but then who wasn't? Most girls were more masculine than K, ha ha. In any case, there was no indication that Scott was prone to violence or queer bashing or anything like that.

Realistically, K told himself, Scott didn't waste much thought on him, and probably it was good that he had left just as Scott was returning so he didn't have to answer too many uncomfortable questions. The only issue now was staying out long enough that it was plausible he'd actually gone to a party. K had intended to just do a quick little walk, and he wasn't sure what to do with himself out of the room for hours... Maybe he'd luck out, he'd run across some handsome man who'd see K like this and immediately fall madly in love, sweep him off his feet and take him out for a romantic evening...

Campus was largely empty, but once K made his way uptown he was stunned by how many people were out, the sidewalks were thick with students. Was it normal for it to be so crowded on a Thursday? He glanced at The Bottlehouse, the first bar on his right. Sign advertising Thirsty Thursday specials. Across the street, a brick building, he couldn't see the name, but he could see a sign that said Thirsty Thursday. Alright, clearly it was a thing... He walked down the street, mostly looking at the ground to avoid meeting anyone's eye, until he looked up and noticed he was deep in the crowd, surrounded by people.

And for a couple minutes, walking through the crowd of people uptown was fine, exhilarating honestly, like he was invisible, too many people for him to really stand out. But he came to a region of the sidewalk where the crowd was thin, and out of nowhere a heavy dull blow to the side of the skull. Sound of glass shattering right beside him on the ground. Male voice from a receding car shouting, "Faggot!"

Tear ducts suddenly on the verge of bursting open. K started scurrying forward, had to get away, get out of here, no fuck why are we going further from home, he turned around and suddenly every face seemed angry, hostile, disapproving. He felt like he was drowning. We're going to be a crying little sissy faggot bitch out in public surrounded by people, please no, please no.

He ducked into a skinny little alleyway between two bars and collapsed on the ground with his back against the wall sobbing with his hands covering his face. He'd been stupid, so stupid...

"Hey, what's the matter?" A woman's voice. K lifted his head to see a girl standing over him. She was tall, taller than most boys even, long powerful legs running up to a tight leather skirt, a skimpy little hot pink crop top which exposed a generous amount of cleavage and a little flash of metal in the navel, deep red lips curled into a smile, K couldn't quite tell if it was kind or mocking, eyes behind a pair of reflective sunglasses, messy crop of shoulder length blonde hair.

K spent a moment staring up at her, not saying anything. The girl frowned and, gently, kicked his leg with her beat-up white sneaker. "I said, 'What's the matter?'"

"I shouldn't have left the house like this," K muttered, "it was a mistake."

"Oh?" The girl got down into a crouching position across from him in the alley. "I don't know if it was a mistake, I think you look super cute."

"Well, thanks," K muttered, then blinked. "Wait, seriously?"

"Seriously! Yeah..." the girl removed her sunglasses, presumably to get a better look at him. The first thing K noticed was the long, straight scar running down her left eye, but his attention was soon caught by her brilliant green eyes, shining at him with this intense fascination. God, K had never had a girl look at him like this, never particularly wanted it to be honest, but now that he was experiencing it he found it intoxicating. "Yeah, it can be hard to be a fucking snack, believe me I know."

K grinned at this, even if he still didn't fully believe it. "I don't think that's why that guy threw a bottle at me and called me a faggot though."

"Oh it totally was," the girl said, nodding, "I bet he got a glimpse of you and he felt a little movement in his underpants and it just made him all confused. Had to lash out. Happens all the time. Where did the bottle hit you, by the way?"

K turned his head to show her the tender spot where he'd been struck. "I guess I don't know it was a bottle, just something glass shattered on the ground right after it hit me."

The girl leaned in to examine his head. "Hmmm, well you've for sure got a big bruise there. Hot!"

K narrowed his eyes at that. "Hot?"

The girl didn't respond, just put a hand on his chin and turned his head so that she could examine his face more closely, eyes probing, curious. "Did you do your own makeup?"

K nodded.

"Not bad!"

"Thanks," K said, smiling again, "I've been practicing for a while. This was my first time leaving the house like this though."

The girl nodded. "You were trying to get dicked down tonight, weren't you?"

"No!" Immediately, K could feel himself blushing. "I was just going for a walk..."

"Going for a cock?" The girl was grinning lasciviously at him now.

"I said walk..."

"And I said 'cock,'" the girl replied, running her hand down from his chin to rub his exposed shoulder. "This is an outfit to get railed in if I've ever seen one."

K let out an annoyed little, "Hmf," at that. The girly clothes and the makeup were bound up in his brain with fantasies of male attention, but it wasn't a sex thing. Not exactly anyway, his imaginings were all about kisses and soft touch. Direct sexual fantasies didn't come easily to K, any time he imagined someone removing his underwear and interfacing with the parts he had underneath, his brain sort of threw up a wall and shorted out, it seemed unthinkable. When he jerked off, his goto material was videos of prettier, more accomplished sissyboys, posing for the camera, pleasuring themselves, so he could imagine he was like them. "This isn't, like, a slutty outfit," he protested.

"Yeah it is," the girl shot back.

"No it's not," he insisted, "the skirt goes down to my knees, I barely have any skin showing, it's modest."

"For a lady, sure," the girl shrugged, "but for a dude," her hand started rubbing back and forth on his shoulder again, "wearing a skirt at all is a pretty clear indication that you're looking to get fucked."

At this point, K couldn't help noticing that his cock was starting to move under his skirt. Weird, confusing, he didn't want to be feeling this stirring down below, he wasn't sure exactly what was causing it. The thought that everyone who saw him was regarding him as a sexual being was doing something to him, yes, making him nervous, a bit ashamed, a bit scared, but also, intermingled with those emotions this exhilarating little spark of thrill. And the way this girl was touching him on the bare flesh of his shoulder, such a small thing, but so intimate, it was making him feel like it was okay if people saw him as sexual, like it was cool actually. Like she saw him how he wanted to be seen, and approved. Like she found him sexy. God, this girl was giving him butterflies, he hadn't thought he felt this way about women...

K snapped out of his thoughts and shook his head. "Well, I'm not trying to be slutty, anyway."

"Aww, why not?" the girl asked.

K shrugged. "I dunno. I've just never been like that."

The girl shot him a very intense look. "Why not?" she said again, in a very serious tone.

K's mouth opened and closed a couple of times. "Like, I've never even been kissed, I don't--"

The girl lunged for him, pressed her lips against his, pushing his head back against the wall. K was too stunned to react, just sat there frozen as the girl stuffed her tongue into his mouth, filling it, exploring it, her kiss wild, aggressive, some kind of lightning flashing across his brain, ecstasy. After a moment his body relaxed, and he just gave himself to her, allowed her to rape his face with her tongue.

After what felt like an eternity, the girl pulled her face away. K gasped for air; as he looked at the girl he noticed her breathing was heavy too, she sounded distinctly aroused. She had her head tilted down slightly, horny eyes burning into him from beneath her brows, and a triumphant little half-grin on her red lips. "So," she said, stroking K's cheek again, "that's kissing."

K could feel himself trembling, "Y- y- yeah it was," he said, stupidly.

"Heh." The girl ran a thumb over K's lips. "And what do you wanna do now?"

"Could... could you kiss me again?"

The girl moved her face in towards his, he opened his lips in anticipation. But just before her lips made contact with his, she pulled back. "Only if you kiss me back this time," she said, "don't want you just sitting there like a lump."

K nodded. "Definitely!"

"Mmmm," a deep little purr that made K tingly, "good boy."

And she dove for his mouth again, forcing her tongue inside. K's lips pushed against hers, his tongue rose to play with hers. He felt her hands all over his body, playing with his hair, running down his back until they were on his legs, stroking his thighs... he felt her digging her nails into the leggings and scratching up his thighs, leaving tears in the fabric. He let out a small, "Mm!" of protest into her mouth.

The girl just let out a satisfied, "Hmmm," and ran her hand back up his torso to sneak under his sweater, under his bra even, and gave one of his nipples a sharp squeeze.

He let out a muffled, "Mno!" at that, and tried to push her off him, to no avail. God she was strong for a girl, he felt so flimsy. She pushed him down, so his back was on the ground and she was on top of him, the whole time holding her lips firmly in place against his. As she kept groping and grabbing at K's body, he became aware that his cock was incredibly hard, burning against the fabric of his skirt and feeling the weight of the girl's body pressing down against it. He had long since stopped struggling, just gave himself to the girl's wild energy, let her tongue take his mouth, let her hands explore his body. He found there was a certain joy in being enjoyed so ravenously.

She removed her lips from his to give him a flurry of kisses around his cheeks before moving down to his neck. She sucked on a bit of the skin of his neck, hard, it felt almost like a bite, like something was tearing under the skin, before she released it and moved her face up so she was looking down into his eyes. "Hi," she said with a smile.

"Hi," K mumbled.

"Just gave you a hickey on your neck," she said, stroking the spot on his neck where she had sucked. "Something for you to remember me by, heh. Tell me, how did that make you feel?" she asked. He hesitated, unsure how to articulate the intense swirl of emotions he was feeling. She nibbled her lower lip and pressed her thigh hard against the bulge under his skirt.

"Ahhh!"

"How did it make you feel?" she said again.

"Good! Really good... I feel almost like you just made love to me..." he said, feeling absurd after he said it.

"Hah! See, you've got a slutty side after all, don't you, making out with a strange girl in a dirty alleyway," she moved her hand down to grab his cock through the skirt, "getting so hard from it."

"Ah! Yeah I guess I do," he admitted.

"Hmmm," the girl stroked his exposed upper chest, "I bet you're ready to get railed now, aren't you? Bet you'd make a real good cockslut."

"Ummm..." K didn't even feel ready for what had just happened, the idea of something more intense, with some other person besides this girl, felt weird. "I don't get you," he said, "do you want me for yourself or are you just into the idea of me taking cocks? It's very confusing."

"Oh yeah?" The girl pulled herself up so that she was kneeling over K's body. She shimmied forward until her knees were on K's shoulders, and she pulled down the front of her skirt so she could reveal her long, thick cock. "Does this clear it up for you?"

It was funny, it took a moment for K to fully process what he was looking at; when he did, his eyes widened. "Oh! You have a--"

"Yup," the girl said, grinning smugly. "Hmmm, look at what you're doing to it..." It had been mostly flaccid when she'd pulled it out, but it was rapidly getting harder, longer, curving upward. Big, a lot bigger than K's, the kind of cock you saw in porn videos, K just lay there beneath the girl boggling at it. "I see you looking," the girl said in a teasing sing-song voice, "you've got a hungry look on your face dude."

"I do?"

"Oh yeah. Heh, do you want it?" the girl asked.

"Uhhh..." K's mind felt blank, he didn't know how to feel about any of what was happening.

"Cause it wants you..." the girl murmured.

And just as K was saying, "Really?" she thrust forward enough to rub her cock against his face. He gasped at the touch, something about how taut and firm it felt against his cheek was electrifying. Without even thinking about it, he rubbed his face against it; the girl let out a pleasurable moan, and K could feel the cock throb against him as it released a little droplet of precum onto his face.

"Hahhh, you like how that feels, don't you boy," the girl hissed, sounding exhilarated.

"I guess so..." K said, suddenly self-conscious about how much he enjoyed the sensation. He rubbed his face back and forth against her hardness again, drawing another moan from her lips. He grinned. "You, uh, like how it feels too, huh?"

"Oh yeah," the girl nodded. Her eyes flashed eagerly at him. "It'd feel even better if you put it in your mouth though..."

"Oh?" At this, K's face scrunched up. It was weird, this was further than he'd ever gone with anyone, but until now it hadn't really felt like what was happening was sex exactly, just horseplay. But putting it in his mouth, that would be sex for sure. "I don't know, I'm not ready fo--"

In the middle of his sentence, the girl thrust her cock forward and shoved the head and about an inch of shaft into his open mouth. "Oh yeah? Don't worry sweetie, I'm ready enough for both of us," the girl said in a taunting voice. She looked down at K expectantly. "Well? It's in your mouth, what are you gonna do?"

K froze, he had no idea what he was supposed to do with a cock in his mouth. He moved his tongue, in an attempt to say something like, "Sorry," but as he moved his tongue it touched the underside of the girl's cockhead, and the girl let out a short little quivering gasp of pleasure. Ooh. K wanted to make her do that again. He licked up and down the underside of her head and shaft, drawing more noises of pleasure from her lips. Intoxicating. He closed his lips tightly around her cock, and sucked, and ran his lips up and down the length of her shaft, and at every touch he could hear in the sounds she made that it was good for her.

He felt her hand rest on the top of his head, "Ohhhh, you're a natural cocksucker, you know that boy?"