All Comments on 'Ben Broken'

About as plausible as a guy waking up one morning and realizing he was married to an aardvark, for 25 years, and he never knew.

OK, fine. Guess when the aardvark finally shit in his face he figured it out. Anyone that stupid deserves what he gets.

Thanks for the effort. Was there any?

In a night of unending punishment, you have taken me out of the woodshed and left me laughing again. You are so dadgum much fun to read every time. Thanks again.

Excellent story, five easy stars

Sad point, the bastard got beaten but not crippled! Broken knees, fingers and elbows really should be issued for betrayal!

I like the sound of suffering coming from the ex-wife, let's hope the creditors follow her into her grave.

We need more stories about justice and lots less about "Forgivness" or wimping!

"Hallmark endings".

But it really needs a part 2.

Where he stashed away a large amount of money and after a while he went back to his home town and restarted his business. When he has reemployed all his exemployees they make life so uncomfortable for his ex that she has to leave town.

20 years down the track he is a very successful businessman and she is destitute.

Then they find themselves at a reunion and she realises what she lost and begs for forgiveness.

Then he tells her ???

A few paragraphs should continue... he should go back and see her, then tell her she got what she wanted.. away from him. The best would be he starts a new construction company; all his employees come back, the business takes off.... then there is the closure.

Not just in this story, but lots of them. The main character is all macho macho man, but there are a couple of paragraphs in which he’s a crying, broken man. It’s like they’re thrown in to give him a wider range of emotions, but they don’t go with the rest of the story.

Ben said, early in the story, that he wasn’t going to be a willing cuck, but he was staying with his wife, doing nothing all along, for three months after he found out about her affair. I’d that not the definition of a willing cuckold? He was initially willing to let his wife have her affair run its course, before she brought it all out. Again, he was tolerating the whole thing until it couldn’t go unmentioned any longer.

CTD60

I enjoyed your tale. You kept the plot tight and online throughout, and your characters were well developed. Please keep 'em comin'!!!

Nothing like, underdog ripping the shit out of the cheap slut!

5

PS: after all money is nothing if peace of mind is missing!!!

Is this for real? (Yes, I know it's fiction, I mean in the context of the story!) She's been cheating for three months, and he hasn't said anything?

"Are you really serious about this guy? Are you going to keep seeing him?" - Well, Duh!

"I love you" - Now THAT'S bullshit! Even if you want to buy the "I love you, but I'm not IN love with you" crap, you don't deliberately hurt someone you "love."

"I must do whatever he says, like I used to do for you." - Um, what wife must do whatever her husband says, LOL? If she "belongs" to Lover Boy, than why not get a divorce? Two reasons: 1) LB doesn't want the responsibility of having a wife, hell, he probably has another slut or two on the string! 2) She probably knows that once the "excitement" of the affair is gone,it won't be so much fun with LB any more.

"That doesn't mean she doesn't love you BOTH." - For FUCK'S sake, stop saying this! If you love your kids, you don't treat their father like she did,

He'd be in jail, not prison, No warden, probably a sheriff.

Who cares what the house cost originally? You get an appraisal, either sell and split the equity, or she buys out his share of the equity.

His ex-wife said he worked too hard? When?

He lets her buy out his $2.5 million share of the business for $700,000, after he only got $100,000 for his share of a $700,000 house?

Nice that she ended up with shit, but the company he worked so hard to build is gone, he's got some decent coin, but certainly isn't set for life, and all of his workers have to get new jobs. What would have made more sense would have been for him to buy the company back at a distress sale.

if for nothing else it made me laugh.

I could read some more of this story. Five stars.

How can a grown man cry that much? Still better than most of the stuff that gets posted.

Why the weak wimpy husband start? Trite. Too many cliches.

Five stars? Nah. Four? Nope. Three. You can do MUCH better than this, "Crazy"

Well written story with some interesting twists along the way. I was impressed with how you spun this tale. Your characters were mostly believable, since this is fiction it is not extremely important. I did enjoy how your protagonist had to deal with heartache more than once, but never let it truly define him.

He gave her several screaming orgasms, then admits that he knew she was cheating three months ago. Her inner bitch surfaces, she attacks his bedroom skills and he starts to cry. (Be the way, what was plan D?) At the door his inner marine come out and he beats the guy bloody. Everything after this point is confusing because of the way you structured the beginning. But the bones of a good story are there. Not bad, just gave me pause for thought.

Nice happy ending for a good man..... and 2 fine new girlfriends

The acrimonious divorce is a lot closer to many divorces. Too much husband crying, yet wife and lover did get barbecued medium well. The charity in jail was senseless as it had no impact on the divorce settlement. I would like to see a followup on the wife. The wife needs a beatdown from a jealous wife who was also dating asshole. Asshole lover needs to end up disappearing in a swamp.

What judge gives a split like that in favor of a cheating wife. 50-50 is the law. Since he never touched her the restraining order should have been revoked. The business she might get half but he would be the boss. So why toss the business away and let it go down the drain. No one wins anything . 5 million turns into 5 cents. Why would the bitch want the business knowing he was the only one capable of running it. All these fact make this story poorly done .all he got was a few hundred thousand. The author needs to do some better story telling here.

Sorry Dave! It really grinds me when someone picks at a story like a vulture. I don't read on Literotica for realism, I read to be entertained. Your stories never fail to entertain.

For those Anonymous ASSHATS, If you don't like it, Stop reading. Don't vote. Go find some story you like better, cause I 'm tired of ending up reading you DUMBASS comments.

Sorry again, Dave. Keep writing and I'll keep reading.

jneric

Plan "D" was Divorce.

Having said that, if he knew about her affair and had a plan for divorce, why didn't he plan something to protect his business from the divorce. I don't know know old the kids are, maybe sign it over to them? Put into some kind of a trust? I'm sure the legal experts out there can tell him how to do it, especially as he isn't being blindsided and has time to prepare.

• "I was definitely disgusted with her."

Well, obviously not enough to not fuck her anymore.

• When did calling a bastard "bastard!" counting as swearing, but shouting "Hell no!" didn't?

• Thompson kept saying how angry he was... yet he knew about the affair for over three months. Was he only pissed off because his wife threw it to his face? If so, the dumbass seems to have capitulate way too early - maybe there was still something to salvage, out of his marriage, if he confronted her with it faster. His procrastination solidified her feeling towards her paramour, making him less important in her eyes. I get that he would be upset with her attitude towards him, in the end... but him letting her do as she wished, without any quick and brutal consequences, makes him partially responsible for the end o his marriage. Being in his place, I would have dump the slut as soon as I had proof of her betrayal, but, since he was so heartbroken over it, Thompson should have done something before their relationship was completely FUBAR instead of crying about it, later on.

• Yet another loser who demands from his kids to not have a mind of their own and immediately forgive their mom for destroying their family... This cliche is so fucking annoying, but I now realize how pointless it is to bitch about it - this is how most authors wants the children to be portray, even though it's not all realistic. Doesn't change, though, how dumb it always make the MC look.

• The whole prison arc is to this story what all Canto Bight scenes are to "The Last Jedi": as pointless as they come. 'Could have cut the whole thing, and it wouldn't have changed the story at all.

• To say the MC did NOTHING, but wait for his ex to fuck him over real good, is an understatement. I seriously don't understand why he took absolutely no action in protecting his assets before the shit hits the fan - he knew what his wife was doing, yet it never damn on him she would try to take him to the cleaners? Great, he made sure his kids would still be able to complete college... but what about making sure his employees would still have a job after he bolted? The lack of foresight displayed by Ben here kinda explained why Betty didn't expected him to do anything, but become her willing cuck-boy.

• Sex descriptions between Ben and his new lovers were, once again, on point. Say whatever you want about CDT60, but he sure can write a vivid threesome scene.

• Once again, 'turns out all the major players here were hella-dumb. It's idiotic enough for Ben to not do anything to protect his business before his unavoidable divorce, but what on Earth made Betty thinks she could run it, especially with employees loyal to him? Selling it may not have gave her its full value, but she would have definitely got enough out of it to not end up as a waitress. I would asked for characters in LW to stop doing their thinking with their hearts, dicks and vags... except that it wouldn't be as believable if they all start thinking with their brains.

• I have absolutely no idea why Claire even bother asking his father to help her mom. 'Would have been more believable, when he asked her what brought her to the Caribbean, if she told him something like "Oh, I was just passing by... by the way, wanna hear some news from mom?" Even pretending that Ben would have done something to help out his ex is insulting.

So, no - nothing new to find under the sun... but, slowly yet surely, CDT60 is undeniably becoming a better writer, and it shows here. Gotta stop turning his MC into a willing moron, though - if you ain't cool about being a cuckold, you ain't cool from the get-go, not three months after the fact. And 'gotta give a thumb up for those excellent sex scenes. No BTB in sight (Betty is clearly her own worst enemy here), and yet a very satisfying ending... see, it's definitely possible!

Yes sir, indeed - ain't no better revenge than living well, I tell you what.

No knock against your first stories, but you have improved as a writer

Actually this was one of the better stories you have written. Of course it is fiction but some of your other stories I find third rate, this one is better.

T.T.

that worked very well.

I skimmed the construction details, and finally tapped out when he hit the bar with two hot employees. I think I'll wait for the cartoon adaptation.

The supposed $5M value of his business was only with HIM running it, and once his wife took it over she rapidly ran its value down to nothing but its physical assets. If he was a smart business operator his land and buildings were leased, so that would be mostly equipment and office furnishings. So after setting up the trusts for his kids' education the $700k he got for letting his wife buy her out probably comes pretty close to half anyway, and getting out before she took over the business means he dodged the fallout from its failure.

And if he wanted to (which he apparently didn't), he could probably have used his $700k to buy back the business assets at auction, put out a call to rehire his old employees and start up a new company. The coverage of the work he did at the jail would have made the story of his cheating wife who took his business and ran it into the ground newsworthy, and while it might have been personally embarrassing, it would have preserved his business reputation.

I appreciate the nice comments and constructive criticism. I knew that some folks really pull things apart, why didn't he do this or that, why did he break down emotionally. I think folks forget... It's a fantasy! Yeah he coulda woulda, shoulda...but then in real life people DO FUCK UP. And do make huge mistakes, and do break down.Hence the title. I used to hate loose ends. But then I realized, if you don't have loose ends, there is nothing to fix, nowhere to go and the story ends.

Plus its kinda fun when the OCD guys start fixating on fuck ups. I am wondering about the guys who say its all shit... Why are you reading my stuff? Go read some cuck crap and tell me you love that! I'm trying to stick up for the regular straight guys. BTW. The wife and lover taking over the business... I wanted her to fuck herself up! He didn't BTB, SHE DID IT TO HERSELF! If I decide to do a part 2, all loose ends will be tied up nicely so the OCD boys can sleep at night.

Now that's a story with a happy ending even though he did btb. I love these kinds of stories. No cuckold here.

"Yes, tell her she was right about me working too much!", perfect ending...4*

I didn't agree with some of his choices, but the business failing after he left was perfect. You have to love employee loyalty! It does leave me wondering what kind of wife brings her fuck buddy home that way and expects her husband to react calmly? What kind of fuck toy thinks he can walk into another man's house like that?

A cuck with marine training. Stop the bull💩🧚‍♂️🖕🖕🧚‍♂️🧚‍♂️

You are so freaking weird!

Fun though!

rushed and a bit immature the dialog the plot was good though. would have liked a bit more emotion on both sides and maybe some type of explanation of why she had an affair for as long as she did to the night she made her desires to cuckold her husband after having 3 orgasm with her husband is one sex session

Would like a chapter 2 he goes back takes back what was his. New company same employees new bevy of girlfriends and rubs his wife face in it all.

You have fun writing I'll have fun reading your stories. Thanks for sharing.

I agree with an earlier comment and would love to read a chapter 2, let him go back and pick up his business and really rub her face in it and her girlfriends who covered for her as well !

That was an enjoyable read, cheers!

1) When shit hits the fan the cruise is 2 months away. At the end of the story he gives the cruise tickets to the daughter, so less than two months had passed from the beginning of the story.

Within those two months the divorce has been finalized, the judgement had come down, then after that judgement he settles with the wife for her to buy the business, she puts up the house for sale and sells it in order to have the cash to pay him the $700,000 for the business, she takes over the business, runs it into the ground, is completely out of money and starts waitressing. Are these humans or insects where time moves a lot more slowly? I'm surprised it wasn't his grandchildren on the beach fully grown he gave the cruise tickets to.

2) I don't know if it's ever good to hit someone on their head with a baseball bat, causing them to go unconscious, to help them out. I get the sentiment to try to stop him from killing the other man for his own good, but killing him to do it may not be the best way to do that.

3) Ok, there is one more minor one. Were they married 22 or 25 years?

The story itself was pretty good, if you discount that a wife of 22 (or 25) years for some reason he loved was someone completely heartless. I can see a decent human being cheating and wanting to leave someone for another man. To want to emotionally hurt him and rub it in the way this wife did, I would think she was a cunt for a long time and he would have seen signs of that wayyy beforehand.

However, you may want to get an editor just for the math. Doesn't have to be a physics or math genius and understand the Theory of Relativity and have a sophisticated understanding of time. Just someone that can do basic arithmetic, and understand the limitations of what can happen in two months.

I just finished LAPTOPWRITER'S "The Talk" and ran into your Ben Broken story. I love Ben's revenge by telling the other husbands about boyfriend's whereabouts. Ben worked hard for the business and I think Ch 2 should have him return and buy the business back from ex-wife for $1 and resurrect the place and rehire his loyal workers. Have ex wife die of AIDS.

But not sure why, except I was curious how it would end.

Half of the story made no sense whatsoever. The other half was poorly written, like you could not wait to finish it. Where were the big tits and interracial?

Next time try writing a story that can be followed.

There are too many errors and inconsistencies to be listed.

Sorry you could not come up with any kind of ending. Also sorry you did not get a decent editor. 2*

Dave I liked it, to me it was a lighthearted story of a man having a tough time . I apperseated it <can't spell for sh'_ sorry > . I went thru one of those ( tough divorces ) , found a wonderful lady , my wife and I have breen together just short of 30 yrs so I got the better end of the I got two great kids & a cat.

Thanks for the read

C'mon guys, this story is like a cheating wife comic book for 12 year olds.

But it was way too rushed filled with missed opportunities. Sorry

A good idea. Good middle, but poor beginning and ending. He knows his wife is cheating, but fucks her anyway. She has 3 hard orgasms, then tells him she’s cheating? Who does that? You didn’t need to mention ‘Marine’. He was built & mad. He should not have cried at all. The 3 way was more believable as a fantasy. If you needed a love interest, why not the news reporter? Then the kids. College age right? Then why does the dialogue make it sound like their 4th graders? Plus he’s sending his daughter on a romantic cruise with her brother? Make sure you put that chapter under the incest tag.

You threw all the shit in the blender; but when it poured out, something was missing...

He should have fucked the TV reporter in the motel the first night after he got out of jail.

Enjoyed

Here is a moment worth remembering: "Dad, are you being a bad boy?" "Yes I am."

That daughter is a rare treat! She's a keeper. Sadly, the wife was not.

Would you...please, please, please...quit writing stories of cuckolds crying like a baby; then try to pass him off as a real man! That ship has sailed. Once he has bawled like a baby, he deserves whatever torture comes his way, including a penectomy. Let him cry for all eternity.

Great story😂😂🤣😜🤪

I wasn't going to comment until I read Anonymous 05/05/20 comments. If he/she is so disgusted with your writing, why read your stories? This is not one of the best stories I have read, but still a good story. 4*

...and I loved it. It was outrageous and many places it didn't make complete sense with everyday norms but it was a 'romp' so I gave it a fiver. High 5, my friend.

vicious - with malice of forethought.

viscous - sticky, thick, gooey.

Not the same thing. And, when you get them mixed up, turns the sentence into ... goo.

How to avoid it? If you are in one of several windowed internet environment (say, just posted something), if you select a word and right click, you can do a Google search on the word like magic, and double check it means what you say it does.

Not quite a homonym check, but close... (see, I just checked homonym - yup, I got it right)... what do you call a spell check driven homonym? Probably, viscous.

Green-something

Some woman should have kicked her ass

He's all over the place with no consistency. He goes from not a care in the world to despair into rage then cold and logical, then casual inmate there to solve all the prisons problem, suddenly he has a harem and he's moved on.

It could have worked if there had been something between each of those steps to facilitate or explain the massive changes in him.

@ohnadp

Good Story, Two Problems

Is it 2 or 3 problems?

"Doesn't have to be a physics or math genius and understand the Theory of Relativity and have a sophisticated understanding of time. Just someone that can do basic arithmetic, ...."

@MightyHorny

Some thoughts...

Seems like you can write a short story in comments, but not a real story that can be published.

Story was interesting until hubby had silly sex with the two big-fitted employees. From then on,the story sped through to a sketchy ending.

Good story until you rushed and abbreviated the ending. Went from 4* to 2*, maybe 3*.

I like it.

Loved that the ex got burnt as badly as she did and that the "dominator" got his ass handed to him so often.

Good overall story, but the payback portions were abbreviated. It would have been great if you had fleshed those parts out.

Finally a story that reflects reality. Good story

Awww.... Would have loved to hear more about his new life. His wife needed to try for longer before throwing in the towel. Couldnt the boy toy have walked away with a bit of her cash only to find himself on the same island lol? Nothing like a little courtroom drama and legal fees to spice up a story! She could have twisted in the wind for two pages before starting to waitress. To be honest i thought he was going to start his own company and steal everyone, but this was good too.

Reasonable story.Would have liked to have read he went home and took over his former business and rebuilt it,leaving his ex wife still waitressing.

No

Not be a cuckold but knew for months!!

Right

Wimpy cuckold

Nice

The only problem was why did he wait two months? Other than that the cheating cunt and her prick lover got what they deserved. Fuck 'em.

Five Stars

It is a good story. Boyfriend got what he deserved. AAAAA

Great concept, husband gets fucked over, loses everything and is still the big winner, damn you overly creative people. great story and nice read, i do wish there had been more. thank you

As usual....Falstaff drunkenly dancing, brew spilling from his ale mug as he spins from one woman's bed to another, plunging his phallos in quim after quim....laughing creating living life as he in motley sings his commentary on the sad but infinitely amusing stupidities of life. Always ignored and always triumphant.

Another tongue in cheek triump there CrazyDaveTrucker!!! Brilliant absolutely brilliant

Stop having the cheated men defend their whore wives to the kids. Just awful

Good story, just a bit short on the ending. We need to hear the wife's suffering.

Why this compulsion by authors to have the cheated on husband coerce his kids to "remember Mummy loves you, you must be nice to her. You must continue your relationship with your prostitute lying backstabbing mum. I know you never promised you would stay with her till death do you part , but you must stay in a good relationship with her. I on the other hand, who did promise to stay with her till death do us part, am leaving her and want nothing more to do with her"

WTF. What bullshit. What hypocrisy.

If he so badly wants his daughter to become a prostitute why not just drive his daughter down to the local knock shop and tell the Madam there that you have another working girl for her to use and abuse.

Why would he want his daughter to be influenced by a lying cheater who committed adultery for wealth. This false concept that a daughter is better to live with a lying cheating stealing immoral dishonest person as a role model is ludicrous. It is illogical, stupid and unbelievably dumb.

Why is it even there in the story? Are you trying to paint the husband as the good guy who doesn't want to cause trouble? Why can't he be the good guy who will fight with everything he can to protect his children from evil influences., but if I was writing a LW story I would spend a considerable time expanding this theme of how a meek mild husband turned into a single focused driven force fighting to protect his innocent children from the manipulations and influence of the evil bitch.

I am not an author

Great, but only able to be appreciated by very intelligent and careful readers.

Note: Cowards like "Anonymous" (15 days ago) who apparently has no fine literature of his own to offer. and cannot understand the various forms of writing, or appreciate a clever plot, can sure show us the level of his intellect by such a poor nonsensical attempt to rewrite the story. Is the inability to see anything outside of his narrow belief system the sign of a very abusive person, (think my way or I will beat you half to death ) or of mental deficiency?

Anyway, Dave, most of your stories are brilliant, and as another commentator alluded, you are a top creative writer.

The Hoary Cleric, guest observer at Literotica

heh heh heh... such a silly little fantasy, but fun!

No patience to read all the comments; but MightyHorny gets kudos for a great detailed summary. jneric is clueless. One commenter says he doesn't read for realism; and that is obvious. Story is a joke.

Laughed myself hoarse! Great stuff! More please

Anonymous said,"Why this compulsion by authors to have the cheated on husband coerce his kids to "remember Mummy loves you, you must be nice to her." It's called taking the high road, you shit for brains.

@anonymous (the one before me) - you are wrong. It's called being stupid. "High road" is for dealing with reasonable people, not cheating sacks of excrement.

I can MAYBE BARELY buy the "you should maintain relationship with your shit mommy since you may need a free babysitter in the future" as a valid reason.

750,000 plus 2 free rides for the kids along with 2 friends with benefits means money won't last long. Maybe a sequel???

Love it. LP

I tried writing and I know how hard it can be to complete a story. You are a far better writer than I am, and I know you could do so much more with this story. The devil is in the details, balancing them so it's not becoming boring but also well detailed so the readers can envision the story as it unfolds. Thank you for not having 2 pages of far too detailed sex, I don't read here for that, I like to see how writers evolve and better themselves. Thank you for a good story and please add to it.

You try to keep the kids close to her so you can learn what she's up to. This guy's kids are older and know that happened, they are giving him information, but he has a dipshit lawyer for some reason.

This trash pit should be set on fire.

This is good writing ... the actual story line itself is crap ... but sometimes it's just what you need !

I can't say much good about this story,it's the second of your stories I have read and feel the same about both. Readable at best. Try thinking out the story before writing it..this simply has no depth thus no appeal..a good story has substance,this one does not,nor did the other one I read. You I think can write. Try writing some quality into your tales not just for the sake of writing them to down load on this site...I will look at another tale or two of yours to see if this and the other one are desperation to post stories...JZK

Great Story, enjoyed the read. Thanks for your writing.

It's ok but it read like a parody.

If there was ever a cliche line, it was in this one.

I suppose you intended it that way. If you did...

Thumbs up!

Couldn't finish half the first page.

Defending the cheating skank to the kids. Telling them to care for her, even though she had shown them all her malicious betrayal, Then has to think about divorce. Oh, and he's still been sleeping with her for months after finding out. Gag!!

Not enough crying, wailing, smoking craters, and blood running in the streets.

I like it, the only thing I'd like to have seen is where he returned after the holiday, opened up a new company (same work), his ex workers heard he was back in town and come they looking for work, (which he hires certain ones) who was still unemployed, including his 2 secretary's, and in the end gets some of the old contracts back, rubbing his new work success, into his ex-wife face.

it wouldve been a fitting end to the story I think.

mojo648 has some good idears. For me, im pissed that thwe mc had 3 mths warning and didnt do shit to prep for the shitstorm acommin. why not? pussy, no but something was wrong w/in his head. mostly good story.rk

Somebody make this make sense, I got less than half way down the first page before I quit flogging this dead horse. She's been having sex with another man which her husband has known about for three months but has done nothing about. Not only has he done nothing about it but he's also still having sex with her and generally acting as though nothing is wrong yet he gets all high and mighty about her expecting him to be a willing cuckold when that's precisely what he has made himself.

Then she says she isn't in love with him anymore and he no longer does it for her sexually immediately after a bout of hot monkey sex which resulted in an intense screaming orgasm for her.

Finally he starts crying when getting angry would surely be a more likely reaction. Then I just gave up.

JR

Just enjoying the shit shower falling on the slut-whore wife and Ben taking a vacay with the 2 secretaries.

This could definitely be fleshed out into a longer story, but i liked it just the same.

Terrific story! I agree with some of the other commenters who suggested that it could be “fleshed out” and expanded in a longer story. This was a story to savor, but it was too short. For example, the ending was kind of an interim ending. If, as another reader suggested, the husband returned from his vacation frolic with his two hot secretaries, started a new company and hired all his old employees. Meanwhile the ex- is still waitressing and living in a one-bedroom apartment. She will no doubt beg her ex-husband to come back, but without luck. She got what she wanted, even if it did not last very long.

Looking again some of the more critical comments, I think that the husband handled the situation in a pretty realistic manner. Marriages are rarely black-and-white affairs, and their breakup is almost always complicated, especially if there are kids. The commenter who thought the husband should badmouth his soon-to-be ex-wife to his teenage kids forgets that they were not parties to the divorce, and their relationship with their mother is up to them. The instant gratification of BTB thinking is something that exists in fantasy fiction; rarely in real life. The reason I read fantasy fiction is that it is not real life.

The old whore finally got hers, but her master didn't get what he should have gotten. Poor Ben, so many to do, and so little time!