Ben Loves a Challenge Ch. 08

"Yeah, about that... I was chatting with Karen from HR yesterday. She said she saw you, at Sanjay's party. Said she went to help you, but that Dicksucker Dean intercepted her, told her that he'd call you a cab."

Ben rolled his eyes. "Okay. Whatever. Someone called a cab for me. Who cares?"

Hugh narrowed his eyes. "Did he?"

"Did who what?" Ben asked, pushing his soup away from him.

"Did Dicksucker Dean call a cab for you? Or, maybe he actually took you home? Did you go home with Dicksucker Dean?" The smug confidence on Hugh's face pissed him off.

His throat tightened, but he worked hard to keep his features cool. "Stop calling him that, we're in a family restaurant. There's kids around."

"Did you, Ben?" Justin asked. "Did you go home with Dean?"

"Stop being a whiny baby, Ben. Why do you care if we swear around geriatrics and thumbsuckers?" Hugh snapped. "Dean's a homo, that automatically makes him a dicksucker."

"So, can I call you Homophobic Hugh, then? Since we're giving out creative nicknames now?"

Hugh snorted. "Fuck you, Ben. You know what I think?"

"You think that Dean took me home instead of calling me a cab?" Ben asked, one eyebrow raised in what he hoped looked like bored annoyance. Inside, his stomach boiled like a not quite dormant, but not fully active volcano.

"I think Dicksucker Dean took you home and rode your cock like a fucktoy," Hugh said. "That's why you've been weird." He sat back, looking proud of himself.

"Aren't you just a fucking Sherlock Holmes?" he snapped. "Since when does Karen give a shit about anyone in the first place? She's definitely not a credible source, she was drinking just as much as the rest of us. I don't remember how I left the bar, so I guess anyone could've thrown my drunk ass into a cab. Does it matter if it was the bartender, or Karen, or Dean? Why does it matter at all?"

"Cause you're acting super weird lately! Like, you're not as fun as you used to be. Dean did something to you, or something. He had to have. You're different lately. And, why else was he looking for you yesterday?" Hugh demanded, pointing his bacon at him.

"Maybe he was just doing his job?" Ben shot back.

Hugh rolled his eyes. "He was looking for YOU, Ben. You. I know it."

Ben rolled his eyes right back. "So, you're saying that Dean did his job as a pretext to come visit me because you think he took advantage of me or something?" he asked, unable to mask his annoyance. Secretly, he loved the idea that Dean was looking for him. Maybe D'metrius had been trying to tell him...

"You're so fucking annoying lately," Hugh grumbled, interrupting his thought. "You're not fun anymore. There's something wrong with you."

"Maybe you're just a douchebag and I'm tired of it?" he snapped.

"Come on, guys," Justin cut in. "We're all friends here."

"Shut up, Justin," both he and Hugh said at the same time. They scowled at each other across the table.

"What happened that night, Ben?" Hugh demanded. "What happened with Dean?"

Ben rolled his eyes. "What do you want me to say? That I went home with Dean? That I woke up in his bed? That we fucked?"

Hugh's eyes went wide. "You did?!"

"Jesus Christ, Hugh. Of course I didn't." Well, part of that was true. He hadn't been with Dean yet. The thought of waking up in Dean's bed again sent a quick flush of blood towards his nethers, though. "But that's what you wanna hear, isn't it? Fine, believe what you want, I really could care less. I don't know why you have such a hard-on for Dean, but he's taken, yea?"

"You admit it?" Hugh asked.

"Sure," he agreed. "Sorry, Hugh, I know how much you wanna fuck Dean, but you can't have him. Oh, don't pretend you don't, I know how much you want him. He's basically all you talk about lately. Oh, and he'd be the one fucking you, Hugh. He doesn't bottom."

Justin sputtered in his diet Coke, catching part of the spray in his hand, the rest landing on his half-finished burger. "He f-f-fucked you!?" Justin asked, wiping his face dry on his sleeve. "In the butt?"

"Of course he didn't," Ben snapped. "What's wrong with both of you?"

"Well, you have been acting really weird lately," Justin admitted.

Ben shrugged, looking for the waitress. He was done with this conversation. "Whatever. Maybe I've been thinking about what kind of friends would leave a friend at a bar with no ride home, too drunk to take care of himself. Maybe that's why I've been weird. Leave Dean out of it, it's got nothing to do with him. And, if I wanted to suck or fuck Dean's cock I wouldn't tell you, and I'd savor every goddamn inch of it."

It was Hugh's turn to choke on his food. "You're fucked up, you know that? I hope Dean gives you hemorrhoids."

Ben snorted. "That's your best comeback? That's weak, Hugh."

Hugh narrowed his eyes. "You're disgusting, Ben."

"You're the one who wants to feel Dean's cock between your cheeks, Hugh." Actually, he was the one who wanted to feel that. Another flush of lust to his loins, and the only thing keeping his from popping a boner was the weird tension, and his anger.

"I thought you were better than that," Hugh said, disgusted. "Nothing but an ass-fucked homo."

"I guess, Hugh, that it would take one to know one." God, that was stupid, why'd he say that? He shrugged, trying to play it cool as he pulled out his wallet. He threw a twenty on the table, then got up and pulled his coat on. "Fuck you both," he said. "I'm out."

Justin looked shell-shocked. He tried to think of something witty to say as he walked away, but nothing came to mind. He left, refusing to look behind him, though he really wanted to see the look on Hugh's face. He could imagine it.

Suddenly it dawned on him what had just happened, and what would happen the minute Hugh came back to the office. He had to find Dean, even if Dean didn't wanna talk. He owed it to Dean to at least give him notice before office rumors began flying. He wasn't going to be another Parker.

He didn't even bother to take his coat off, he speed-walked his way over to the IT department. Dean wasn't at his desk, but the intern was there. "Where's Dean?" he demanded.

The intern looked confused. "Dean?"

"Yes, Dean. Do you know where he is?"

The intern drew his own conclusions, Ben could see it like a dim light slowly becoming brighter. "Lunch. He's probably in the breakroom."

"Don't you dare start a rumor about him or I'll talk to your manager about how disrespectful you are. Do you understand me? I'm pretty sure there's an entire day of sensitivity training you could attend..."

John at least had the good sense to look worried. "I wouldn't do that..."

"Good," he said, then turned and walked out importantly. He forced himself to walk, when all he wanted to do was run. He had to tell Dean before he heard it through the grapevine. He nearly slammed the break room door into Karen's face as he hurried inside. He almost apologized by reflex alone, but then remembered that she'd started this whole thing with her stupid mouth and glared at her, then pushed by her into the room.

"Excuse you, Ben," Karen grumbled passive-aggressively.

He couldn't handle her bullshit right now. "Hey, Karen? Maybe keep your mouth shut, yea?" he snapped, turning his back to her.

"Jesus, rude much?" she asked. She harrumphed, and he found he didn't give a shit what she thought.

He spotted Dean, then realized what all of this would look like to anyone watching right now. He should've sent a text, he was making a scene. He still could send a text, he decided, throwing himself into a chair at the closest table, the farthest one from where Dean sat. He pulled out his phone.

'We need to talk, asap,' he sent.

It took all he had not to jerk his head towards Dean when his phone chimed. His phone was on vibrate, and he was grateful for it as Dean's message buzzed in his palm. 'After work' was all it said.

'No, sorry, it has to be now. Somewhere private.'

He heard Dean sigh, then his phone buzzed again. 'I don't have time for your games,' Dean replied.

'Not a game. Need to talk to you. Please. It's important.'

'Your week is up.'

He caught himself from growling. 'Not about that. I swear. It's important.'

A full thirty seconds ticked by before his phone buzzed in his hands again. 'Fine. Where?'

Ben bit his lip, thinking hard. Shit, he was running out of time. 'Dunno. Dammit. Please meet me after work, I can't think of anywhere alone.'

'What's this about?' Dean sent back. Ben glanced at him and Dean's head jerked away. Had he been looking this way?

Ben took a deep breath, as if he were about to say it out loud. He typed as fast as his fingers would let him. 'Karen told Hugh that she saw you take me home from Sanjay's party. He thinks he knows shit now.'

He frowned, waiting for Dean's response. It wasn't what he was expecting. 'So?'

He closed his eyes, pursing his lips in frustration. 'I don't want him to hurt you. Wanted to you to know, to be prepared.'

Ben was so nervous he was shaking, though he didn't fully understand it. Dean's text buzzing in his hand made him jump. 'He can't hurt me, DeLuca. I know who I am. You're the one who should be ducking worried.'

Ben let out a long sigh. He risked another glance at Dean, but the only other person besides them still in the lunch room was Greta, and she was, like, eighty years old and mostly blind. 'After work? Please?'

Ben heard Dean's sigh across the room. 'Fine.'

Before Ben could respond Dean pushed himself out of his chair and threw his trash away, then left the room without looking back. Ben stared at Dean's now-vacant seat for a few seconds, still worried about Hugh's rumors and how they would affect Dean. A sudden urge to sit in his seat, just to feel his body heat, was almost irresistible, but he forced himself to leave the room.

Hugh and Justin were right, he was acting weird. Was it wrong that he was okay with that?

His worries were justified. Hugh wasn't happy after his little outburst at lunch, and he quickly and expertly worked the rumor mill. Ben felt like a fish in an aquarium as people from all over the building came into his section of the office that afternoon, for a variety of bullshit reasons. All of them made sure to slow-roll by his cubicle.

The most recent two he'd overheard gossiping about Dean's new boyfriend in marketing just before they walked by. He met their eyes and they both flushed, turning away quickly.

He sighed. Hugh was terrible, how had he never noticed before? Hadn't they been friends for four years? This was how it was gonna be now, between him and Hugh? Probably Justin, too. God, it pissed him off.

Whatever. He didn't care. He found that he really didn't. But, he did care about Dean, and wondered if Dean was currently going through his own ordeals. He didn't dare head to that side of the building, though. He wanted to leave early, tired of being on display, but he didn't through sheer stubbornness alone. If he left early, Hugh would win. Atleast, that's how it felt.

His heart sank when he got to his car and Dean wasn't there. What had he been thinking? Dean hadn't expressed interest in meeting him today. If anything, he'd appeared annoyed. Of course he wouldn't be here. Dean had made it clear last Friday where he stood with him.

Though the whole situation with Dean hurt, he really hoped that his actions weren't making Dean suffer. He sat in his car for a few minutes until his breath fogged up the windows. A half hour of over analyzing things later he arrived home, sure that he'd fucked everything up, the stuff with Dean, the stuff with Hugh and Justin, and probably other things, too. Laura popped into his head again, but he realized this wasn't the same.

He parked in his driveway and turned his car off. Instead of getting out, he rested his head on the steering wheel, the sheer emotional stress of the day weighing him down. He sat in his car until all the artificial warmth left, leaving him chilled. His phone buzzed as he was mentally preparing himself just to get out of the car.

'You home?' It was from Dean. Oh, god, it was from Dean. The hope that lifted his heart wasn't fair.

'Yes,' he replied quickly.

'K'

He had no idea what it meant. What could he even say to that? He inhaled, held his breath until it hurt, then slowly exhaled before he forced himself from the car. It probably meant nothing. He went inside his small house, only to be greeted by a loud, expectant yowl.

"Hey Tennille," he greeted his tiny grey and black striped cat. She twined between his legs, almost causing him to trip. He should've been used to it by now. She yowled dramatically, looking up at him from between his feet. "Girl, you'll be the death of me," he said fondly as she twined again, moving swiftly between his legs as he walked into the house.

He fed the cat her wet food, then opened the refrigerator to figure out his own dinner. He closed it again, no idea of what he was going to eat. He wasn't actually that hungry, he decided, turning away from the kitchen.

Three soft knocks on his door had him holding his breath. He strained his ears, wondering if he was just hearing things. He headed to the door on his toes, trying to make as little noise as possible. Another three knocks sounded, just as soft as the first ones, but he definitely heard them this time. He peeked through the curtain next to the door and his breath caught.

Dean was on his front stoop, looking nervous. He watched Dean rock back and forth on his toes before he raised his hand to knock again. Instead of knocking, he lowered his hand hesitantly. Ben threw open the door before Dean could run away.

"Dean?" he asked, excited and confused and afraid all at the same time.

"Oh, hey Ben. Sorry, I should've called, right? Sorry," Dean said, taking a step back, head down.

"Come in, Dean," he said, grabbing Dean's hand before he could backtrack any further. "Please, it's cold out."

Dean nodded, looking as afraid and uncertain as he felt. He allowed Ben to pull him inside. "Sorry."

"Stop with that, you're fine," Ben chided. "I didn't know you knew where I lived."

Dean's rosy cheeks flushed. "I didn't. My friend D'metrius gave your address to me. I checked the auditor's website to make sure it was really yours."

"How'd D'metrius know where I lived?" he asked, pursing his lips as he reluctantly released Dean's hand. Dean took off his coat and shoes, nervously hanging his coat on the hook next to the door.

"I didn't ask. I should've asked, but..."

"Thanks for coming," he said, trying his best not to let his nervous energy move him too much. "Come in?"

"I... Thank you," Dean said, looking down. "I didn't know you owned a house."

Ben motioned for Dean to follow him into the house. "Well, the bank owns most of it still, at least for the next twenty four years or so. Come in, you want something to drink?"

He looked back to make sure Dean was following him and caught Dean's eyes. Dean looked away. "You wanted to talk to me, earlier. It was about the Hugh stuff?"

Ben lead Dean into the kitchen, then opened the fridge and pulled out a jug of homemade iced tea. "You like tea?"

"Sure. Is it sweet?"

"Nah, I don't like sweet stuff. I have sugar and honey, if you want," he said as he placed the jug on the table. Dean sat down, watching him as he moved to get glasses. "Soymilk, too, if you prefer it that way."

Dean didn't reply until he was already pouring the first glass. "No, unsweet is fine." Ben pushed the glass over to him and he took it, sipping carefully. "So, ah... You told Hugh that you love the taste of every inch of my dick?"

Ben nearly spit out his drink as he choked on it. "No, I mean, yeah, but also no. And, that's not what I said," he sputtered.

"Why?"

"Why what? Why'd I tell him?" Ben asked. "And I didn't say that I loved the taste. I said if I did blow you, I'd savor every inch."

"That's not that different!" Dean snapped.

Ben shrugged. "I just thought I should clarify. I never told him I actually savored your dick. Just, that if I did suck you off, I'd enjoy it. Which, for the record, I did."

Dean flinched and his cheeks bloomed. "Jesus, DeLuca. You're killing me."

"You say that a lot."

Dean snorted. "Only when you're around." Dean deflated again, looking down at his hands wrapped around his iced tea.

Dean at his table, in his house made him smile, but his heart hurt, too. "I told him because he was pissing me off. Apparently Karen's starting the rumor that you took me home the night of Sanjay's party. Hugh said he saw you in our department a lot yesterday, and he and Justin made the assumption, based on information from Karen the human tabloid, that you were looking for me. Not sure why, I guess they thought I was getting brainwashed into the gay agenda. Do you have a gay agenda, Dean?"

Dean swallowed hard, then downed his iced tea before he said anything. "A what-now? Of course I don't have an agenda, gay or otherwise!"

Dean's flustered face was hot. Ben beat down his excitement, but it was hard. Why was Dean here? He hated the hope that kindled in his stomach, so afraid that another rejection would break something inside him permanently.

"Look, I don't like them bad mouthing you. I wanted to give you a heads up, cause I don't want this to feel like the whole Parker thing again."

Dean made a weird, strangled noise. "Ben, I can't... I can't do this again. Can't watch someone I care about go through what Parker did, not again. I almost cost him his marriage, and I did cost him his job."

"Wait, what now? I'm not Parker, Dean."

"Doesn't matter, it's the same thing. I ruined-"

"Bullshit," Ben snapped. "He did those things! You can't control other people like that, he made his decisions. You didn't force him to do any of those things. You didn't force me to do anything, either! Talk to me, Dean. I don't understand. Please, talk to me." He hoped that Dean didn't notice how desperate he felt.

Dean sighed. "Maybe I should go," he said, staring hard at his now empty iced tea glass.

"You don't mean that," Ben countered. Inside, though, he was begging, pleading with Dean to stay. He couldn't leave, not yet, he'd just arrived. The flame of hope doused to a small flicker.

"It doesn't matter what I mean! Doesn't matter what I want! I need to protect you!" Dean's cheeks grew rosy pink circles, and the flame came back to life.

"Dean, please. It does matter what you want. I care about what-"

"I mean it, Ben. I don't wanna ruin-"

He barked a laugh, the sudden realization filling him with way too much optimism. "Dean, please, just listen to me. You can't ruin my life. I'm the only one who can do that, and I'm pretty good at it, too. Just ask Laura." Dean tensed, an unconscious move. Was he jealous? God, Ben hoped he was jealous. "Nevermind, don't ask her, I'm just saying. You can't ruin my life, Dean. I'm the only one who can ruin it, and I'm pretty good at it, too. At least lately..."

"It's exactly the whole Parker thing again," Dean insisted.

"It's not," Ben insisted. "You said you never did things, with Parker. We've done things. You never did the things we did with Parker, did you?" Jealousy swirled in his guts at the thought.

"I told you we didn't!" Dean growled. "This is, I mean, just, all of this, Ben, with your friends, your career, I'm ruining it all." He was emoting with his hands, gesturing wildly. "Everyone at work was talking about you sucking my dick today! That's not just gonna go away!"

Was it wrong that he felt a stab of pride at that statement? He grabbed Dean's hands and Dean jerked away, knocking the glass to the table. Good thing it was empty. Dean jumped up anyway, panicking as he caught the cup before it rolled off the table. He turned away from Ben and deposited the glass in the sink.