All Comments on 'Ben Repaired'

I wanted to like this, but it was horribly written and half the time I had no clue who was talking or even what was going on. I’m sure it reads well to the author who wrote it, but it really needs someone else who has never seen it or talked about it to read it.

Hi Dave,

Just a short line to let you know our son survived and is now back home. He is a fortnightly outpatient to his Specialist and surgical team, and will take over 6 months to fully recover. He has partially returned to Uni partially resuming his law degree.

Thank u again for your wonderful zany stories that helped get me thru the worst crisis our family has endured, u are a legend.

I’ve got him to read your mad tales as well and he likes them.

I loved this one as well, you have fans in this house

Good luck to you and your madcap stories.

Hmm forgot to ask is there another chapter coming there appears to be a lot of issues yet to resolve?

The evil cunt was willing to put her children at risk?

If the story were expanded a bit it might have got a five instead of a four star rate.

The Cunt wife is rescued financially so she isn't living as homeless bum and she repays by trying to betray her family again.

Story needed more. Just seems too time compressed.

Thanks for the read.

I was totally confused as to who was saying what. Should have been good but I just couldn't figure out what was going on.

That was a bit of a mess I am afraid. It started okay but it went off the rails a bit. For example who the fuck is Jacques lol.

What a mess! Get a ruthless editor.

Another protagonist fascinated by his own cleverness-and his power over big-boobed women and his ex wants him back and everyone likes him...ya, ya ya.

We were all fourteen once but most of us matured a bit after that.

Only a 4 this time. Dialog was hard to follow. the deal was a little too complicated or rather needed more clarification.. but idea that the ex was still a bitch was clear.

gamblnluck

I don't write. Can't write. So, I appreciate any authors efforts. Because I appreciate efforts of authors, I don't trash the effort unless there is a clear agenda in the story.

This is very hard to follow. I read the first part and liked it. This one seemed to jump the rails. Difficult to follow who is talking. 3*

going to need another chapter to finish this off.

So many issues left open.

She really was evil wasnt she.

Wow, shitshow. I appreciate authors’ efforts to entertain us, for free, but that thing jumped around like it was on fire.

It was largely on the strength of the story's potential. This could have been a great, long, multipart tale. The plot elements are there for a truly interesting development of characters and events. This is almost an outline of a much, much better story. As it stands, it's still an interesting read.

Sorry that was dreadful, ridiculously complicated plot and stupid characters. Your stuff is normally better than this.

... at least that's what this one reads like but all turns out well that ends well. Right? Thanks for another quickie, it was a thrill. (wink)

There's more to this story ! 5's so far keep up the good work . MORE,MORE,MORE !

What a mess of a story. If I think I understand what you were trying to convey with all of your contracts value nonsense, you should change your name to dellusionaltruckerdave.

I get a kick out of your stories!

5

...his old wife again? isn't she not fat and old now? For the next chapter it will be stupid to read that he did fucked her because she became a swan with the $50.000.00. Or even worse that they got back together and he end up with 3 goddesses.....LOL... isn't he too old now for all that sex?

*** for this 1

...... See what I did there, playing on authors name. Baa da tss.

God, that was painful to read. What a crock of disjointed, incoherent, adolescent shit.

A complicated plot, which I liked, but very hard to explain. Good attempt but repeating the plan over and over made it harder to follow. But like I said over all I liked it once I understood what was going on. I do agree Marsha and Carol came off smart cartoon bimbos not real women.

Like everyone else said, this is just a mess. A dumpster fire of a story. In the process you wrecked the original story. You might want to stick to writing crap poems like you have been doing rather than destroying decent stories you wrote long ago when you were sane and not on drugs. 2 stars and that is me being generous to you.

Tedious and boring. Glad so many others like it. Different strokes.

It's a good thing that shark didn't bite your ass when you jumped it.

MFH

Okay, this isn't a 5 star story but also isn't a 3 star story. Not sure if the people who complained skimmed or actually read the story.

Okay, the story has a bit of a complicated background and about 6 characters you need to follow to understand the players and the positions they play.

I didn't experience any problems following the story and enjoyed CrazyDave's tale of woe. Thanks for sharing CrazyDave and look forward to your next posting. Cheers.

Bunch of dribble..all over the place.Lost sight of original story throwing in a few other unrelated drabs with too many characters....

@Cumminginsiderher

You might want to stick to being a one man woman.

Not up to the quality of the first story at all. This was all over the place, and too much double dealing for anyone to follow. Is there a part three coming?

I really don´t understand this authors. This character is supposed to be some kind of great lover? If he was such a good lover, his wife wouldn´t of had to go looking for it somewhere else. And he´s supposed to be so smart, but yet, she took her lover home, thats how he found out about her affair according to the story. It´s just a contradiction of everything here.

After the first half of page one was a goog start but the rest was garbage.

You have done good work....but not his time. I liked the original story, but had to give up on this one about 1/2 way through:

- Complicated

- Jumped a couple of sharks

- Lost interest

Two star sequel.

Confused am I. Is his name Ben or Bob? Two stars.

The last part of the story was confusing,plus half the time you didn't know who was talking.

Totally confused,is he bankrupt or not?.Why did he need to resurrect the old company,why not create a new company and rebid on any contracts?.

What I read is that the contracts from the bankrupt company are still valid and would bring bigcock a lot of money, if they are fulfilled by the company. But in a few month these contracts become invalid and a new bidding takes place where bigcock doesn't get any money from the future builder.

He can't take buy out these contracts as long as they are valid with his former company and if he fullfills them it's with the old company and for the ex-wife if she doesn't sign. Bigcock would get his money through these old contracts.

Was he broke or not? This story was just so confusing. If his wife had to find somebody else to keep her satisfied? Why am I supposed to believe that two women couldn´t keep up with him? I mean. Your wife will not have to go looking if you were any good in bed. Would she? So where does all the money come from?

Ok story but it was very confusing.

The author spent too much effort on the business deals. I have been a contractor and sub-contractor for more than 50 years - I would have just shut that original company down and started a new one. It only costs a couple of hundred dollars and can be done in 24 hours or less. In fact, I have always had two or three corporations sitting on the shelf - just in case. The prime operating company has no assets - everything is rented or leased and just one shareholder - me. All tools, equipment and employees are subcontracted through my other companies and a few close friend's companies. It worked out really well for tax purposes and moving money around. This little paragraph should have been what the author used.

Wayyyyy too much

Well

Very convuluted tale. The botton life is the ex'cunt er wife fucked herself and mr. bigcock in the end. Our hero and his two beautiful loyal women helped him and his children assisted in a great way. Bottom line, the cheating cunt got fucked royally, and not in a good way. Hard to comprehend but easy to rate.

Five Stars

Over the top crazy. *****

needs another chapter to where betty does survive and ends up as ben's third woman

Good story, some of the suggested acts are not to every ones taste (literally) 4.5 compared to the first story

nice if betty survives she would serve the House of Ben a vibrating Chasity belt might be fun

because I could not follow everything on the last page

U had me going that he was considering taking her back but glad he didn't

Hard to follow parts

Last 25% of the story was pretty confusing. There to follow the dialog and who was speaking.

Still good.

Mfj

[25.12.22]

Great Duology!

11/10!!!!!

Believable

The end got weird, the back and forth felt like you changed what you were going to do with the story multiple times. It doesn't feel like there's really a conclusion. The previous story ended more concretely than this one.

Needs final chapter for closure. It would be nice to see how the torch burnt her, the banker, and the russian mob all in one fell sweep.

You also need to do a much better job of being clear about who is talking. The back and forth with the quotations got lost at times. I want to love this story, but it's still only okay.

Next part?

I was disappointed. It was really hard to know who was talking in the diner scene. And it got weirder and weirder with Vlad and Bigcock. I found it difficult to figure out what was going on. The story needs a tighter, better plotted final chapter; this one read more like a rough draft of the next stage in the story, but not the final stage. I could be a very good story, but this chapter got sidetracked and left this reader wondering what the hell is going on. I hope to read a cleaned up final chapter.

Marsha and Carol, if they still have periods, should give their "husband" babies. They love each other enough to make it work. Ask them. Betty, and Bigcock, should accidentally fall off a big mountain, then, her ex-husband, and pregnant wives can have a better life!