Bending the Rules Pt. 07: Overcast

10449 words. Reading previous entries first is recommended. Not based on any pre-existing franchise or storyline.

She's a slippery one, that muse. Makes her great in bed, I'm told.

*****

Nuru couldn't help but notice he was getting strange looks. He left town for a bit, standing patiently outside the Level Eleven gate. He watched people come and go, patiently waiting for the right person - working his vigilance hard, because they wouldn't be trying to stand out. After an hour or so he spotted a possible candidate.

"Hey, excuse me, got a second?"

"What are you selling?"

"If you're going to put it that way - a quest."

"From a Level Four? Nah."

"Wait, you don't even want to-"

"Dude, I got enough to do without helping you take out your bounty target."

"No, it's not-"

"Bye!"

Nuru huffed, took a deep breath, and kept waiting.

*****

"Hey there, got a second?" he asked.

"Get outta the way, I'm here to see my girlfriend."

"Sure, sure. Have fun!"

"I'm breaking up with her. I doubt it."

"Well, uh... better luck with the next one?"

"Look, I don't know you. Let's not pretend there's a reason we're still talking."

"Fine, be miserable, see if I care."

*****

"Hey, you looking for a challenge?" Nuru said.

"Does it pay?"

"Sure it does."

"Alright, tell me who to talk to."

"Me. Just come over here and let me show you-"

"What? Like you've got enough to interest me. Weirdo."

*****

...This went on for some time...

*****

"Hey man, got a second?"

"Aren't you the guy that talked to that rules lawyer ghost?"

"Well, yeah. What of it?"

"Stay the hell away from me."

"But..."

"A pox on you, and your house!"

*****

"Ahem."

Nuru's eyebrows crunched inward, and he turned around.

"Uh, hello?"

"Hey. What are you doing out here?"

Nuru looked the man up and down. "You're a thief," he said.

"And in other shocking news, the sky is blue. You know, I was almost starting to feel bad about stealing all your money."

"And you're not anymore?"

"Well, if you're that dumb, you were going to lose it before long anyway."

"There's no need to be like that," Nuru said.

"No, but there is *such* a desire."

"Did you take any of my armor?"

"No."

"Then shoo. I'm busy."

"Not going to try to convince me to give your money back?"

"It's just money. I can get more. It's not like I can make you."

"This is like, half a fortune, even for me."

"Great. Are we done here?"

"Seriously, what are you doing out here? I'm really curious now."

"How do you feel about taking on a challenge?"

"Depends. What's in it for me?"

"Besides the small fortune you've already taken? How about a good laugh?"

"I could just shove you in a puddle."

"Not much challenge though. I want someone to swap something for me."

"Swap something... that I don't already have. What are you getting at?"

"I have this- erg. Had. You DO have the armor now, you liar," Nuru said.

"Which is basically worthless."

"Except for this one purpose. I want you to substitute its counterpart with that, the fully enchanted version."

"Why not just steal it? Or hire someone to go get it?"

"Booooring. And more importantly, I have a point to make. It's complicated, and you probably don't care about the lore - you wouldn't know these people. But I want to make them pay. Humiliate them for what they did to my family."

"You're a terrible liar, and your lore is even worse. But I've decided you're right about one thing: I don't care. Humiliate them, you say? I hope they're more responsive than you are. You're really annoying me by not caring about all this money. It's making my brain itch."

"Yes. Let them come back to discover their precious loot is actually worth nothing. Make them work to figure it out."

"I see. And can you tell me where I would find these people?"

"Granite Canyon."

"No, I mean exactly where."

"Do I look like I can walk out this gate and map it, to you? Come on."

"Okay, point. So is it a full set or what?"

"Yeah. I want all the parts back, and I'll pay ten percent over the usual shop trade-in value for them, plus a boatload of EXP."

"OK, now I know you're full of it. I'm Level Fifteen, you couldn't possibly have enough EXP to offer to interest me."

"Try me."

"I mean for real, you can't even hold that much EXP, much less realistically have earned that much."

"Well, then I couldn't possibly give you an official quest offer for it, could I?"

"No, you-"

Nuru held out a quest. The man examined it.

"The heck, dude. Who *are* you?"

"Nuru. You?"

"Ace."

"...Ace? What a strange name. How did you come by it?"

"Long story. Maybe another time."

"Over an ale, at the inn, with some enchanted armor you've found?"

"Heh. Alright. I guess if you're gonna offer me what money I've already taken, I have to give it back first."

"Yeah... So here's the thing - there's a bonus in it for you if you can do it without being seen. You'll see that I've written it into the quest already. You know I can't give the quest unless I've reasonably got the EXP to offer, and I'm on the hook for it. I want all the details of every piece you get. The whole story of what you did. Bonus for no unnecessary kills, too. Understand?"

"Now that sounds like my kind of fun."

"And yes, I'm unable to hold enough EXP to level up with this much at stake, so don't take _too_ long. But I can't pay out for about a week."

"Yeah, yeah, I can read it right here. Alright... meet at the inn in a week?"

"Heck, you come see me there anytime during the week that you've got one. Might even check in once or twice on the weekend, if you want to hang around a little. I'll make sure it's the one I'm looking for; and mind you, I'll still give you 10% premium even if it's not the one. But no EXP for that."

"See ya."

The missing armor and currency fell in a scattered mess, and Ace disappeared in an instant. Nuru gathered it all up and settled in to look for a few more people.

*****

Nuru sat at the inn, poring through his mind, refreshing memories from before his Eidetic Memory upgrade, just so he wouldn't lose anything. The evening crowd was loud and boisterous, except for his small bubble.

"Anything else?" Mesi asked, leaving his ale for him.

"Wanna join me?" Nuru said.

"Sorry."

"Then... I guess not."

She smiled brightly, but bustled away just a little faster than was necessary. It wasn't just his imagination; every other table scooted an inch at a time further and further away from him. People had stared and whispered behind his back as he went about his business. He was so preoccupied after he finished ale, he almost dropped a tip on the table before he realized what he was doing, remembering what she'd said about tipping.

"Stress must be getting to me," he muttered to himself.

*****

He went home, slept restlessly. Sometime after midnight, he woke with a start. Had he heard something?

THUMP. The wight in the pen ran heavily into something, then settled in with a deep exhale.

"Hey Tuma, relax," Nuru said. "People are trying to sleep here."

No answer.

THUNK.

Something had hit the fence, but there hadn't been a stir of movement from the wight.

"The payment due, and delivered," a voice said quietly.

"Who's there?" Nuru called.

No answer. He lay awake again for an hour, until his heart finally slowed, and he drifted off again.

*****

The sun started creeping over the trees as Nuru peeled himself up from the ground once more.

"Another beautiful morning, eh Tuma?" he said.

He prepared breakfast as he usually did and waited for the mist to clear, as much in his head as over the meadow.

"Wow, finally decided to sleep, huh? How long you gonna be out?"

The wight was lying still on the ground.

"Wait a minute..."

There was an arrow protruding from the bag over its head. Nuru looked around some more, noticed another arrow stuck in the corner fence post. It was wrapped in parchment. He could just make out in the dim light a few words:

PVP

UR NEXT

It wasn't signed, but there were bloody fingerprints all over the sheet.

"Great. Now I have a stalker that _doesn't_ like me," Nuru muttered.

Then he grinned. "But, you know what else? I don't have to find a way to kill it myself! Little sooner than I wanted, but hey, I'll take it."

He refused to feel bad about it, and today was Saturday. He was going to go see Dayo again. And Mesi of course; maybe she'd be a little more talkative today. Now he just had to keep Adana from finding out his leverage was gone; she didn't seem to be a morning person, so he thought he might have a good chance she hadn't witnessed any of it.

Whistling cheerfully he went out to go wait by the gate. He was just getting his Musical Trance proficiency up to the length of a decent song, when he realized it was almost lunchtime. He walked back to the inn, found that no one was there waiting for him with his loot, and waved to Mesi. She met him at the side door after the lunch rush ended.

"How is it that you get the entire rest of the afternoon off?" he asked. "Don't you have more work with that music group performing?"

"Pff. Those harlots take all the tips. Figuratively, and literally. Only exception to the commission rule, and they make more that way."

"Wait, are you saying I can..."

"Nuru, you can do better than that. I'm sure you don't need a cheap whore in a disposable paper skirt."

"What if I disagree?"

"Up to you, but remember to factor in the salves you'll need from the apothecary for the burning and the oozing-"

"Hah! I'm kidding. I'd never pay money for sex."

"-and uh..." she trailed off, uncertainly.

"Eh? What's up?"

"...Maybe later."

"Suit yourself. How's things?"

"Oh... you know. Same ol'."

The conversation lapsed into silence as they walked. The were just in sight of the hut before the tension got to be too much.

"OK for real, what is going on? Why is everyone treating me like I'm contagious or something? You aren't even telling me the latest gossip."

"Nuru... the gossip is, you talked to a rules lawyer."

"Yeah, so?"

Mesi pursed her lips thoughtfully, then called out, "Dayo! Nuru's here, he has a political question!"

Dayo came out in a sun dress with her floppy witch hat, a basket of apples, and some long wooden skewers.

"Hello Nuru! Ready for lunch?"

"That would be great," he said.

"What's this about politics?" Dayo said.

"Nuru wants to know why everybody looks at him funny," Mesi said.

"Well, you talked to a Rules Lawyer, what did you expect?" Dayo said.

"Um... help me out here. I'm lost," he said.

"You know what Rules Lawyers do, right?" Mesi said.

"They help with adjudication and trials. They're the judges, right?" Nuru said.

"Yes, that is true," Dayo said. "But, Nuru... oh, gods below, you haven't been an adult, or even a teenager when we've had an Expansion, have you? Don't you talk about this stuff in school?"

"I guess so. Maybe? I don't know, I don't remember anything other than them being judges. Nothing about Expansions."

"To be fair, it's technically a secret. A badly-kept one, but nevertheless..." Mesi said.

"Right. I wish we'd had a chance to warn you, but what's done is done I guess," Dayo said. "When there's a major change - a special event sanctioned by the gods, or an Expansion, or what have you - the lawyers come out and take a survey first. They try to figure out what people are going to do with a new mechanic, or what kind of thing will interest them, whether some enchantment will be popular or start a riot. Those people who end up taking those surveys get noticed sometimes. It's against The Rules to discriminate against them for it, but there's a thousand ways to mess with somebody and not be able to prove it's discrimination. Usually it's something like excessive PvP challenges by higher levels. Maybe running ahead and stealing all the kills when you go out questing. Charging extra at the shop, or giving below the going value for loot trade-in. Never giving you the rare armor as part of your raid reward, instead of rolling for who gets it."

"Why would they do that!?" Nuru exclaimed. "Geez, am I an instant pariah?"

"Not yet," Mesi said. "We don't know what changes might be coming. But I'd be careful. Heck, sometimes the Powers That Be take a personal dislike and people get a Bolt from the Blue. Cheaters, so the rumor goes; or maybe they broke their oath. The lawyers see things nobody else can, apparently. But there's never an explanation, just bam - dead. And most of them spoke to a rules lawyer days or weeks before, or else they gave spoilers on the quest line. Nobody wants to stand too close to a 'collaborator' just in case. I'll be honest, I don't either, and I like you."

"But why would they mess with me, if I don't get assassinated by the gods or whoever?"

"Because those changes are universal," Dayo said. "If a particular skill changes, it affects everybody in that class literally overnight. So if you talked to a lawyer, and suddenly some Barbarian skill gets nerfed, now all the Barbarians are after you for colluding, even if you opposed the change; since you're not allowed to talk about it, nobody can prove you didn't agree and they don't have anyone else to take it out on. Nothing's changed _yet_, but when it does..."

"Great. I don't have a faction to protect me. What am I going to do?"

"I don't think even a rules lawyer would be that mean to a Level Four. You'll have to ask yourself what questions it had, and figure out how serious it might be," Mesi said. "If you need to hide out somewhere for a little while, tell me where and I'll bring you food. But you shouldn't be getting PvP'd like Dayo was saying. Here in town, they can't do that without permission."

"But can't thieves get around all that?"

"They can't attack you directly. Take your stuff and make you go on a quest to get it back, maybe. But, worst case, you can go stay at the temple and the paladins will defend you."

"Almost might as well be dead then," Nuru said. "Can't get EXP that way. Except as an acolyte I guess."

"Just take it easy for a bit," Mesi said. "Relax! Enjoy life! It'll all blow over eventually."

"I'm all for that, but Jaheem's IOU is gonna expire. And I've got debts to pay off. Dammit, I gotta get out of this town."

"You could just join a faction," Dayo said. "I've got a recommendation."

"Don't you be taking advantage of him for referrals!" Mesi said. "He's our friend!"

"Just offering. The choice is yours, naturally," Dayo said, then turned to Mesi. "He wouldn't know how to find us without me; we're not exactly flying banners these days."

"I'm just saying," Mesi retorted hotly.

"I know, babe. That's all I'm gonna say about it."

"Come on, lets roast some apples," Mesi said, all smiles again. "And get naked!"

"You go on ahead," Dayo said, rolling her eyes. "And you watch your hands, mister. And wash them, too."

"No worries, I got enough people mad at me as it is, apparently," Nuru said, holding his hands up defensively.

"Alright, just so we're clear," Dayo said, winking at him as she handed over a cleaning cloth.

"Say, speaking of that, didn't you have something to ask him?" Mesi said.

"Well, I- maybe. I don't know now."

"Oh. Because of the lightning?" Mesi said.

"Yeah."

"OK, nevermind."

They chattered on with small talk as they went out to a fire pit and set up the apples to bake over the flame. Nuru slowly fell into a sullen silence, sitting on a log. Mesi noticed him not even watching her dance completely naked. She sat with him and put her arm around him.

"Hey. It's gonna be alright."

"Mesi!" Dayo said, narrowing her eyes. "You're too close!

"Come on. Can't you see he's freaking out right now? He needs a friend. And what kind of friends run away when you're in trouble, just because there's a tiny chance of lightning?"

Dayo frowned. "Yeah. You're right. Sorry, Nuru, I'm being a jerk and I don't mean to."

"Not your fault. It was my mistake," he said.

"Look on the bright side," Dayo said. "Sometimes, the changes make things better. Then you'll be a minor celebrity. Patron saint of whichever class. Or classes. Maybe it wasn't a mistake at all."

"Huh. Maybe it's not so bad then."

"That's the spirit," Mesi said, kissing him on the cheek. "Hungry?"

"Yeah."

"Grab a skewer, there's two apples for each of us."

"Not gonna bring it to me?"

"I look like a serving girl to you? Get it yourself," she winked.

"Not when you're out of uniform, huh?"

"And if I took money from you while I was naked, I'd seriously question your motives. We're not going there," she jutted her chin up into the air proudly. "And so help me, if you make a just-a-tip joke, I'm going to let Dayo kill you and have her way with you. Their. Dammit, I did it again; I'll let *them* have *their* way with you."

Dayo snorted. "Alright, fine."

Nuru cocked an eyebrow at Dayo as they all carefully extracted a skewer from the fire.

"I know I probably sound like a parrot now, but... Sorry, what? What's fine?"

"Mesi is being a manipulative little brat again. I see what you did there, steering the conversation."

"What, me? Never!" Mesi grinned slyly.

"My birthday anniversary is coming up," Dayo continued.

"Oh, congrats!" Nuru said.

"Thanks. And, uh, Mesi and I were talking about having a party. Well, a couple of them. One I would have with my faction, but the other... private. Invite only. Just us three, to be exact."

"Wanna be a meat puppet?" Mesi said.

"I swear by all the gods below, Mesi! You can't just ruin the offer by blurting it out before I finish setting up the pitch!"

"I waited as long as I could!" she said, stamping her feet impatiently and pouting. "I wanna know what he says!"

"Get over here!" Dayo said, pointing straight at the ground.

Mesi sat down at Dayo's feet, sticking her lower lip out. Dayo covered it up with a hand, and held tight so she couldn't talk anymore. Mesi kept trying, and squirming, though.

"!Shiru!" Dayo cast, letting go of Mesi's mouth.

Mesi started trying to talk, but no words came out. Her mouth opened indignantly and she tried to mouth the words at Nuru.

"!Hannun Fatalwa!"

A ghost hand covered Mesi's mouth, hiding what she was trying to say. She looked down, batted at it, but her hand passed right through. She glared at Dayo, but sat still.

Dayo cleared her throat.

"So, yeah, that question you asked me once about that thing I did to you? You can see the answer."

"I... yes."

Dayo had, indeed, cast Silence on Mesi, and then some.

"As I was saying," Dayo continued, "we've been talking about having a special party. Just the three of us. If... if you're willing, I might be interested in borrowing your dick. I've been fantasizing about having both sexes at once, so I, um..."

Dayo blushed a deep crimson.

"I guess if the lightning gets me you can do anything you like," Nuru said. "But that doesn't sound like what you're suggesting."

"...No, it's not," Dayo said, not quite meeting his eyes anymore.

"Let's be clear on this then, because I was told in no uncertain terms that I wasn't going to be invited to do things with you," Nuru said.

"Well, um... That was then. I'm allowed to change my mind, aren't I?"

"They're your rules, I don't see why not," Nuru said.

"OK. So, to be honest... oh, hell. You tell him." Dayo snapped her fingers, and then waved her hand. The ghostly appendage drifted away and vanished.

"Dayo wants to get fucked while she eats me out!" Mesi burst in, with a huge grin.

Dayo put a finger on Mesi's nose, who started bouncing in place nervously.

"Eloquent as always," Dayo said, pulling the hat down to hide their eyes. "So, um, no pressure... feel free to come over and just watch if you're not interested in participating. It was just a silly thought."