TBBT Website Battle 06 - Daddy

Raj, Stuart, and Bernadette were sitting in her living room brainstorming.

"I really need some new content for the website," Bernadette said. "Something new...different. I mean, doing, you know, it with you guys is great and all, but we need something fresh. Something my fans haven't seen from me yet."

Raj scratched his chin. "You know what's really popular? Incestuous relationships. Or, you know, so I hear."

Stuart nodded his head. "Yeah! Oh yeah! I...I've, uh, heard the same thing. Not that I would ever watch anything that hot...er, I mean, like that."

"Incestuous? Like, family?" Bernadette asked.

Raj nodded. "Right, exactly."

"How about Uncle Mark?" Bernadette asked. Why haven't I made one with him and his huge cock fucking me yet?! I need to call him!

Raj shook his head. "No. I mean, he's great and all, but he's not family, you know? I mean, he's Howard's uncle. But he's not family."

"Oh my gosh, Raj! You mean...like...Joey?!" Joey was her younger brother that she rarely saw. "I mean...he's handsome...I guess. But Joey?!" She paused. "Besides, he lives in Kentucky. He's only in town a couple of times a year."

Raj grinned. She didn't say no. "Well, maybe we can do something next time he's in town. But we need something sooner than that, don't you think? We need something to drive membership."

"Fucking a family member would definitely drive up your membership!" Stuart added enthusiastically.

"You think so?" Bernadette asked.

Stuart shook his head. "Oh yeah!"

"Most definitely," Raj said. "So, let's think of another male in your immediate family that would fit the bill. Hmmmmmmm..."

Then it hit Bernadette. "(gasp) You mean...my father?! You want me to have sex with my father?!"

"Oh yeahhhhh, your dad. Why didn't I think of that?" Raj said with a crooked smile.

"My father?! My retired cop father?! That father?!"

Stuart nodded his head again. "Oh yeah! Father-daughter stuff is hot! Er, I mean, uh, so I'm told."

Raj looked at his friend. "Give it up, dude." Stuart hung his head in shame. Raj turned his attention back to Bernadette. "Do you think he'd wear his uniform?"

"His...are you nuts?!" She paused. "He'd never go for it anyway."

Raj grinned again. Again, she didn't say no! "He's a guy, Bernadette. You're a beautiful young woman. No man could resist your charms if you put your mind to it."

Bernadette blushed. "Really? You think so?"

Raj and Stuart both nodded and said in unison, "Absolutely!"

Bernadette thought about it. "But...it's my father. He'd never do it."

"Then look at it as a challenge," Raj said, almost daring her, knowing she loved a good challenge.

She thought some more. A challenge! "But...he'd never do it while being recorded."

Raj pointed around the living room. "We can use hidden cameras! We'll put one there...and there...and there." He paused. "Leonard told us Penny used to have sex with her dad all the time." The mere thought of Penny beating her at something infuriated her, and Raj knew it.

"Seriously?!"

Stuart nodded. "Oh yeah. And her brother."

"That bitch!"

*****

Bernadette answered the door and fell into her father's arms. "Hi, Daddy!"

Her father, Mike, wasn't comfortable with such shows of affection. But he wrapped his arms around his daughter and hugged her. "How's my little girl doing?"

"Better now that you're here!"

When she broke the embrace and backed away, Mike's eyes grew wide. "Jesus, Bernadette! Put some clothes on!"

Bernadette had chosen a sheer white baby doll piece of lingerie that barely fell past her heart-shaped ass for today. The top crossed her breast just above her dark pink areolas and did nothing to hide them or restrain her erect, gumdrop-sized nipples. The two thin spaghetti straps were obviously struggling to hold it up. She chose to go sans panties today and wore a pair of pink, fuzzy high heeled slippers to finish the ensemble.

Bernadette giggled and waved a dismissive hand at him. "He he! Oh, Daddy! You know this old house doesn't have any air conditioning, and it's hot as all get out today."

"Yes, but...Jesus..."

She giggled again. "He he! Oh, Daddy..." She grabbed his hand and dragged him through the living room towards the kitchen. "C'mon, Daddy, lunch is ready."

While Bernadette brought the food to the kitchen table, Mike's cop senses were tingling. "So, what's the occasion? Why'd you invite me over for lunch today?"

Bernadette intentionally bent at the waist while putting the food on her father's plate. He couldn't help but stare down his not-so-little girl's deep cleavage. She also couldn't help but notice the bulge in his pants. Oh my God! He's actually aroused! This might actually work!

"What? Can't a daughter invite her Daddy over for lunch?"

"Well, she could. Mine doesn't. But she could."

Bernadette sat down across the table from him. "To be honest, with Howie out of town so much lately, it gets a little lonely around here."

Mike struggled to concentrate on the chit chat during lunch while trying not to stare at his nearly naked daughter across the table from him. Bernadette tried not to laugh at his obvious struggles.

Once the meal was finished, Bernadette gathered up the dishes and walked them to the sink, making sure to give her ass an extra wiggle as she went. She could feel her father's stare.

"Daddy, do you want some lemonade?"

"Uh, yeah, sure."

Bernadette turned and reached into the cabinet to grab two glasses. Her tiny garment lifted with her. Mike's eyes widened at the site of his daughter's fully exposed ass.

"Jesus," he muttered.

The two walked back into the living room where Mike plopped down on the couch and Bernadette sat in the tattered chair to his right. Both were perfectly positioned for the hidden cameras while Raj and Stuart watched the action remotely in the garage.

"Holy shit, dude! She looks fucking hot!" Raj commented.

"Hell yeah she does!"

"That poor bastard's not gonna know what hit him."

Mike flinched. "Bernadette, will you go put on some clothes for God's sake?"

"Why?"

"Because...I...I...can see...Jesus!"

Bernadette giggled. "Oh, Daddy, stop being such a prude."

Mike rubbed his forehead. "Christ almighty," he mumbled.

"Daddy, can I ask you something personal?"

Mike cringed at the words. He wasn't good at talking about deep, personal things. Even with his own children. "Aw shit," he moaned.

"How often do you and mom have sex?"

Mike choked on the sip of lemonade he'd just taken. "What?!"

"How often do you and mom have sex?" she asked more emphatically.

"I...we...uh...why are you asking?"

"I want to know what to expect when Howie and I get older."

"We...we...aw hell." He took a swig of his drink. "We don't even sleep in the same bed anymore," he said without looking at his daughter.

This genuinely caught Bernadette by surprise. "What?! Why not?"

Mike shrugged his shoulders. "She said it's because I snore. I think it's because she's just a frigid bitch," he said gruffly before realizing what he'd said. His head spun to his daughter. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that."

"It's okay, Daddy." She paused. Bernadette's relationship with her mother was frosty at best. "She is a frigid bitch." She waited for his reaction. A smile crossed his face, then he chuckled, which made her chuckle with him. "What about when you were younger? Surely you had a lot of sex then."

Mike considered his answer. "Well, you know..." He paused. "Your mother is a good, Catholic woman. She was raised to believe that intercourse was to be used with the intention of procreating, not physical pleasures of the flesh."

Bernadette's jawed dropped. "Oh my gosh!"

Mike shrugged his shoulders. "So..."

"Howie and I have sex all the time! Oh my goodness!"

Mike rubbed his forehead again. "Bernadette, I really don't..."

"We get up plenty early every morning so we can have sex before we go to work. We do it every night when we go to bed. Sometimes as soon as he gets home from work."

"Bernadette, I really..."

"On the weekends we do it two-three times during the day. He's like the Energizer bunny! He just keeps going and going and going..."

"Bernadette...really...seriously...I..."

"What about toys? Have you or mom ever used toys? I mean, that wouldn't be considered sex, right?"

"What? Toys?! Uh...we, uh...no."

"Oh my gosh! Maybe you should try that. I've got big, huge dildos in different colors, small dildos..."

Mike buried his face in his hands. "Oh my God..."

"Vibrators, anal beads, anal plugs, nipple clips. Sometimes I let Howie tie me up and do some light bondage. You know...just to spice things up."

"Please...stop..." Mike muttered.

"Do you want me to send something home for you and mom to try? A sex care package maybe?"

"Dear Lord no."

"Well, what about oral sex?"

"Oral...oh God..."

"You know? A blow job."

He finally looked up. He looked pained. "Why are you asking me these questions?"

"Because I want to know, Daddy. We're two adults. I can't talk to Mom about this stuff. So I'm asking you."

"Damn your mother," he said under his breath.

"So...blow jobs...yes or no?"

He stared at her. "No. Okay? No."

"No?! Never?!"

He shook his head. "No. She said she refused to put 'that nasty thing' in her mouth."

"Oh my goodness! You poor man!"

"Poor bastard," Raj said.

Stuart concurred. "I know, right?"

Bernadette continued. "I love giving blow jobs!"

Mike's head snapped around. "You what?!"

"Oh yeah! I love giving head. I love the taste of a man in my mouth. And when a man cums in my mouth? Ohmagawd, I'm getting all tingly just thinking about it."

"Bernadette..."

"Come on, Daddy. You really didn't think I got straight A's in college just on my brains alone, did you?"

"You did your professors?!"

"Mmmmmhmmmmm," she purred and nodded.

"Those bastards!"

"Oh Daddy, relax. I offered, they never asked."

"Sweet Jesus."

"So, if she wouldn't give you head, then anal sex is probably out of the question, huh?"

"Anal sex?" He laughed. "Uh, no." He paused and looked at his little girl. "Please don't say..."

"I love anal sex! I love it when Howie gives me a good ass fucking!"

"You're killing me. You know that, right? You're literally killing me. Wait. What're you doing?"

Bernadette got out of her chair and walked to her father until she was facing him. She smiled then cupped her breasts and lightly shook them directly in front of his face. "Who has better boobs? Me or Mom?"

"Awww, come on, Bernadette. Get those out of my face."

"Daddy, you constantly stare at my tits. You think I didn't notice?"

Mike almost had a stroke. "What?! I most certainly have not!"

Bernadette giggled. "He he! Oh Daddy, don't lie. It's okay. I don't mind. I've seen you staring at them today."

"Well, hell, who could help it?! You've got them out there for everybody to see!"

She giggled again. "I'm comfortable with my body, Daddy. Now, who has the best boobs, Mom or me?"

He took a deep breath and looked away. "Fine. You do."

"Ha! I knew it! I think so, too. Mine are way better than Mom's. Nice and firm and big. And my nipples!" She pinched an erect nipple and squeaked. "They're so sensitive! When a man sucks on them it just drives me crazy!" She reached up and pulled one strap off her shoulder, then the other. The garment fell to the floor and gathered around her ankles.

"Oh, Jesus! What...what do you think you're doing?! Put some clothes on!"

"He he! Oh, Daddy." She paused. "Don't you want to grab my tits?"

"Do I...what?!"

"Grab my tits. Don't you want to grab my tits? Every other man does." She reached down, grabbed his hands that were resting on his thighs, lifted them to her chest, then pressed them into her fleshy mounds. They sat there, paralyzed, until she began to manipulate his hands for him. "Mmmmmmm, doesn't that feel nice?"

"I...I..."

She pulled her hands away and he began to softly knead her globes on his own.

"Go ahead. Pinch one of my nipples. It's okay." She squeaked when he did. "Oh my goodness! Your big, strong hands feel so good. Don't my tits feel good? Nice and firm?"

"I, uh...uh...um, yes, they're very firm," he mumbled while he stared at them.

She reached behind his head and pulled him close. She squeaked again when a nipple got sucked in between his lips.

She ran her fingers through his thinning hair. "Mmmmmmm, Daddy, that feels nice," she cooed while he fondled and lapped at her assets.

After a few moments, she pulled away. First he watched her chest back away, then he bowed his head. He snapped his head back up when he realized she was slowly dropping to the floor. She had a crooked grin on her face. Her eyes twinkled.

"What...what...what're you doing?" he asked just as she landed on her knees. He jumped when her hands began to run up his thighs.

She looked into his shocked face. "I'm doing something Mom should've done years ago."

ZIIIIIIIIP!

"Ohmagawd! Bernadette...you...you don't have to do that...(GASP!)" The breath left his body when her warm, soft hand reached inside his tighty whities and wrapped around his swollen manhood.

"I know I don't have to, Daddy. I want to." His shorts fell away when she yanked his throbbing pole out. It was perfectly average in every way. "Don't you remember the blow job I gave you on the rooftop at my wedding? You blew your load all over my tits!"

"Well...uh...there was alcohol involved there..."

She smiled up at him. "But you're completely sober now. What's your excuse for this hard on today?" She began to slowly stroke the veiny shaft. "Mmmmmmm, what a nice, fat cock you have, Daddy." She looked into his face. "It sure looks like it wants me to."

"I...I can't help it. It's got a mind of its own!"

"He he! That's what every man says. It looks like it's thinking naughty things."

"I...it...I...(GASP!) Huh-gah!" he barked when her face dove into his lap and her tongue landed in the crease between his ball sack and his shaft. "Ohhhhhhhmagawd," he moaned when her tongue run along the underside of his bone, swirled around the tip, then did it again. "Oh-gah!" he yiped when she swatted at his balls with her tongue, then sucked one into her mouth and rolled it around like a marble.

She lifted her head out of his lap and looked up at him with a devilish look. "Do you like that, Daddy? Do you like it when I sucked your balls?"

"I...I...gah-fuck!" His head snapped back into sofa when she took him into her mouth and swallowed him whole. He watched the back of her head bob in and out of his lap. "Ohmagawd, Bernadette," he moaned. "You...you shouldn't...ohmagawd, that feels so good!"

"Mmmmmmhmmmm! Mmmmmmhmmmm!" Her hand slipped between her legs. She gave a muffled squeak at the first swat of her finger to her raised kernel.

His hands went to the back of her head as a natural instinct. He leaned his head back against the couch and closed his eyes. This was a feeling unlike he'd ever felt before. He tried to ignore the fact it was his little girl giving him this pleasure.

She...she wants to please her Daddy. That's all. She just wants to make her Daddy happy. Yes, that's it. That's all this is.

It wasn't long before she felt him begin to throb mightily in her throat. Oh shit! He's going to cum already! Should I let him finish? Dammit!

She decided to bob faster and suck harder. The throbbing in her face grew stronger. She could feel his heart race. Being his first time, he didn't know what to do. His body tensed. His hands balled into fists.

"Oh God! Oh God! I...I...I'm gonna do it! I'm gonna do it! Oh God! Ready?! Ready?! Ggggggaaaahhhhhhh!"

She felt spurts of thick, warm spunk shoot down the back of her throat with each jerk of his body. She sucked his hose as if she was trying to pull a golf ball through it while he moaned and groaned.

When the bitter taste of his jizz finally stopped filling her mouth, she pulled away. She looked up and swiped her forearm across her chin. Sweat was pouring off his face.

Raj and Stuart were beside themselves.

Raj threw his hands in the air. "Did he just cum? That's it?! No money shot or anything?! What the fuck, dude?!"

"I know, right? Nobody's going to pay to see that! What the hell?!"

"Did you like that, Daddy?"

"Bernadette...Jesus. I...I...that's so...naughty...filthy...degenerate..."

"Oh, come on, Daddy! It was just a blow job. If you thought that was naughty, you ain't seen nothin' yet!"

"You know, you may be a grown woman, but you're not too old for me to throw you across my knee!" he growled.

"Really?! Ooooo, yay!" She leapt to her feet and threw herself across his lap.

Mike was shocked at this sudden turn of events. "What the...I wasn't serious."

"Oh, I am! Go ahead, spank me."

"Seriously?" She nodded her head. He patted her toned ass.

"Oh, come on, Daddy! You can do better than that." Swat. "Come on, Daddy." Pop! She squeaked. "Better."

"Harder?"

"Mmmmmhmmmm."

Crack! She squeaked louder. "Harder, Daddy! Your little girl's been bad. She deserves to be punished!"

He pulled his hand back.

CRACK! The sound of skin on skin echoed off the walls.

Her body jumped. "Gah-fuck!"

"I'm sorry, Bernadette!"

"Sorry? Do it again!" CRACK! "Oh FUCK yes! Again!" CRACK! YIPE! CRACK! YIPE! One cheek was bright red. His hand crashed down on the other cheek. CRACK! CRACK! CRACK! "Ah FUCK!" CRACK! CRACK! CRACK! "Ohmagawd yes!"

"You're right. You're right! You've been a naughty little bitch who should be punished!"

CRACK! CRACK! CRACK!

"Oh FUCK! I do! I do!"

CRACK! CRACK! CRACK!

"I should've done this a long time ago!"

"Yes! Yes!" CRACK! CRACK! CRACK! "Gah-fuck!"

He paused. "Had enough?"

Her ass was red as a fire truck. "Ohmagawd...ohmagawd...ohmagawd..." she panted. CRACK! CRACK! CRACK! "GAH! Daddy! Daddy!"

"What?!" he growled.

"Ohmagawd...Daddy...this...this is making me so wet! Look at my pussy. It...it...ohmagawd, I'm so wet right now!" She lifted a leg onto the couch and spread them apart as wide as possible.

Mike looked between her legs. He saw two swollen, glistening pink lips. "Jesus," he moaned.

"I...I want you to stick a finger in it. I want you to finger fuck my hot little pussy, Daddy."

"Oh, Christ," he muttered.

"Come on, Daddy. Finger fuck your little girl. Please? I really, really want you to."

"Shit," he cursed. She shivered when he ran his rough middle finger the length of her slit. "Jesus, Bernadette. You're soaked!"

"I know, Daddy. I want you so bad! Please!" His finger slipped inside her until he was knuckle deep with ease. "Ohhhhhhhmagawd, yes!"

He slowly began to slide his finger in and out. "Like that?"

She nodded her head. "Mmmmhmmmm. Now...now put another finger in."

"Another finger?!" She nodded her head and moaned. "Jesus Christ," he sighed and slipped his index finger in.

"Mmmmmmm yes," she said breathily. "Now do it faster. And harder." He began to do exactly that. "Faster...Mmmmmhmmmm...harder....mmmmmmm, yes....faster...harder!"

Mike pumped his arm as fast as he could. His knuckles slammed into her gash with every stab. Soon she was gripping a worn couch cushion with one hand and his ankle with the other.

"Oh yes! Just like that! Oh yeah! That's it! Right there! Don't stop!" Her body tensed. "Oh Lord in Heaven! Yes! Yes! Yaaaaaasssss!"

Mike felt her muscles convulse around his pumping digits.

"Ohmagawd! Look at that 'O' face!" Raj said as he watched the flickering screen in the garage.

"Oh yeah! She's cumming hard!" Stuart observed.

Mike finally withdrew from her snatch and Bernadette rolled off his lap. He looked at his shiny fingers wondering what he should do when Bernadette grabbed his wrist and sucked his fingers into her mouth. She sucked him hard while she rolled her tongue around his digits.