All Comments on 'Best Friends'

Scored lower than it deserves.

I do not like the first person present tense style, but it isn't enough to make me hate the story. An eye roll will do.

**

I knew a single guy who was in the swinger scene (a unicorn). The dynamic that he saw most was a husband dragging his wife very reluctantly into an open marriage, with images of orgies dancing in his head.

What happened is what generally what one would expect: the man finds he is not as charming as he thinks, and the wife has a passle of new guys willing to feed her a line of shit about how charming SHE is so they can get their dicks wet. Since she just took a huge validation hit from hubby about 'not being enough', and she now has license...suddenly, yeah, she is on board.

I asked what happened to a lot of those couples. He said that while some could take the stresses, usually when the woman could get as much dick as she wanted and the man still had to work like a dog for pussy, well...feelings arose and things broke down.

Do I KNOW that open marriage doesn't work? Anything CAN work if one works hard enough at it. However, it is like an armless woman driving with her feet. Just because it CAN be done and maybe in a minority of cases, even done safely does not, as Chris Rock said, make it a good idea in general.

All the shit in an ordinary marriage AND more shit on top of it.

Works for some. Not a good idea in general.

A nice fragment, but I am confused by the male best friend. Almost never works in real life- she confides in him but not her husband? The affair revealed makes sense in that respect, since she is already distant and definitely NOT her husband's best friend. Know flash stories aren't supposed to lay it all out, so the fact I have questions means it was a worthwhile read.

I'm with you!

That sounds very interesting. It actually explores a lot of what we were asking about Ciara when it seemed like Gary was cheating.

That is really interesting. I hadn't thought about doing a follow up to this story, but now I have to think about it from that aspect.

Gary has yet to be explored. How does his wife see things? My mind is churning and wondering his story. Hmmm.

Thank you for that.

One, unfinished

Look at all the comments, and from worthwhile people too. I have a few myself.

Is this finished? It shouldn't be. We need some back story, and then we need to get to the core problem.

Ciara is, or has been having an affair and her husband had an awareness something was wrong. Now the core problem; is this marriage worth another day?

Troubling isn't it? She's been adulterous and was hiding behind at least one lie. There didn't seem to be any kids, and they appeared to be still pretty young. Were l our protagonist I'd be packing my bags. She's probably not worth the future uncertainty and certain pain.

This is your story Javmor; it's your job to fix this.

Jedd Clampett

P.S. I agree with HDK, first person present tense isn't much fun.

P.S. again. This is opening as an anonymous comment, but I left my name so it's not really.

All I can say is a good start but at this point it is definitely an unfinished tale.

I don't think so, at least as far as Paul and Ciara go. He was already uncomfortable with Ciara's relationship with Gary, they were keeping secrets from him, when he finally pried the secret from her (with EXTREME difficulty!) she LIED to him and it turns out she was having her own affair! Their marriage SHOULD be burnt toast!

As sdc97230 suggested, an exploration of GARY's marriage, what HIS wife thought of his relatonship with CiCi, etc, would be cool.

Is that the much maligned best friend comes off as less of a stupid dick than the clueless hubby or his whore wife.

Hubby WASN'T clueless, that's why he kept pressing her.

"Best friend" wasn't clueless probably because she TOLD him!

And best friend IS a dick, because she might have been his best friend, but he STILL should have told her to break it off or he wouldn't have anything to do with her!

Unless Javmor tells us otherwise, I see him as a noncheater who tried his best to talk his friend out of cheating on her husband (who, as the story explains, is merely an acquaintance to him and not really another friend). His message to her says that he's happy she's decided to listen to him, and not what he would have done had she not. Perhaps the reason she chose to end the affair is that he told her he was losing his respect for her and her actions were going to end their friendship if she continued? Perhaps his final comment about not being able to keep a secret tells us he told her he wouldn't keep hers.

Loose end you missed.

way below your usual standards. But then again, I think the quality of your stories has been going downhill since your first. 'Innocent Text Messages' had= a visceral punch to it AND was finished.

Until an ending.

:-)

Finishthedamnstory, where are you?

Normally I'm the one that agrees with an author's interpretation of where a story should end. Normally I just shake my head in bemusement as the comments increasing demand that the author address every iota of a certain tale. I grew up reading stuff like O.Henry, so I know some stories shouldn't be ironed out flat; let the reader explore the wrinkles for himself.

That said, please finish the damn story! Please.

'sigh' ... another unfinished bit, it is something that seems a lot more prevalent in the LW category than any other.

I hate it when writers leave the fucking story open ended! This is why I've started looking at the end of the story to see if I want to even bother reading it. Unfortunately, I didn't do it with this one. I regret it. Finish it!

I really got into this and then..... THAT'S IT!!! This begs for another chapter at least! Come on! Don't leave it hanging there or I'm gonna start calling you Just Plain Bob.

I loved the twist at the end, but now I'm PISSED!!! What happens next? Does he kick her cheating ass to the curb? Does he forgive her for not leaving him and banging his brains out instead? Does he strangle the ever breathing life out of the deceiving bitch? [My personal inclination because she was totally lying to him when he confronted her in the car] WHAT???

Be channeling JPB on this one...we need the rest of the story.

a 1 thats all an unfinisched story gets from me

However, I really would like to know what happened next. Please?

Great little story. Five out of five.

Clever twist at the end.

But now I want the sequel. That's the problem with flash stories, isn't it?

the anon wimpy cuckshit screamers are the guilty dog barking first.

Would score a 5 but needs resolution.

Definitely needs a resolution!

Doesn't need a resolution at all. Did he not tell you that it was a flash story? Let me enlighten you. Less than 1000 words (usually around 750), max of 4 characters (usually only 2 ), 1 scene and a twist in tail.

For mine, the ending is perfect.

to when he married a woman whose best friend was an effeminate straight guy. Why would you be surprised that story had a bad ending?

The light dawned in the bedroom scene. Of course a sequel or epilogue is called for.

Argh!!!

@sdc97230, 10/05/16 - "Perhaps the reason she chose to end the affair is that he told her he was losing his respect for her and her actions were going to end their friendship if she continued?" - Assuming that to be the case, isn't it sad that she puts more stock into Gary's opinion than her marriage?

Just another 'writer' on this site that is too lazy to FINISH their stories.

This was the first story I read by this author. This story was so terrible that I now know I can safely avoid this author completely from now on.

I don't have a problem with stories

ending suddenly.

Not this story anyway.

I have a problem with the price

javmor paid, for making

an unsuspecting ending.

For that it was, to me.

It makes no sense to me,

that our guy feels the tension

between her friend and her,

but NOT between himself and her.

That tension (because of her cheating)

is much closer to home.

This makes the story unbelievable.

And that's a heavy price for your ending, writer.

I liked the story but ..... Author ..... Finish the damn story !

I like the sudden shift of perspective from the surprise ending.

Totally disagree with those who want the story to continue. So many ways it could go. Why choose?

Wife and her besty are POS. Husband kind of let it happen too so whatever. Seems to me that all your male characters in your stories are on the wimpy side.

SJ - " a husband or a wife should NEVER have a best friend of the opposite sex that isn't their spouse! "

If you aren't secure enough in your relationship, and trust your wife enough, to "allow" her to be friends with a man, then you shouldn't be married.

See, THIS is why we can't have a serious discussion with SJ. He starts by quoting our actual premise, which elsewhere he agrees with, then rephrases the statement to leave out "best" which no reasonable person agrees with, but accuses us of believing it so that we look unreasonable!

. . . but I think I understand some of sbrooks misgivings.

That being said, I DO believe that husbands and wives can have best friends of the opposite sex (or same sex) outside the marriage. Of course, I know a number of gay couples and bisexuals. Pretty soon, you end up eliminating any friendship options at all. It IS a matter of trust. It's also a matter of likelihood. A best friend may be slightly more likely to get involved, but true friends don't screw up their friend lives. I'd bet there's an even bigger chance of problems with co-workers. Can we then say no co-workers either?

The main problem with Best or even good friends is not having them . . . the problem comes about when one shares MORE with them than one would with one's spouse. That's when it starts getting dodgy . . .

The wife's best friend had his back the whole time. He owes Gary a beer of 12.

Should have continued on with it. I hate short shanked stories that have a lot more promise.

Married and has a best friend of the opposite sex??!! Are you that stupid?? Or are you fucking with us?

I am very close friends with a woman that I had a romantic relationship with for 7 years where we lived together and we've owned several businesses together. In fact, I'm the godfather of her child. Her husband knows we were romantically involved at one point. She and her son even stayed with me for 6 months while her husband was out of the country on business.

And you know what, since she has been married not only have we not had sex, but I think the most affection that has been shown is she gave me a peck on the lips one time at the airport. It all depends on who the woman is. When we were together for 7 years I never saw her even look once at another man (even though she was very attractive and men did double look on her all the time) and since she has been married I have never seen her look at any other man.

... Because it's rarely JUST the best friend of the wife, but it's ALWAYS the wife cheating. Gotta keep it a 'Loving Wife' story, right?

I gotta agree with most of the commenters here, and be quite gobsmacked that some bozo could be stupid enough to marry a chick who's BBF is a guy with the rep of a player. The fact Paul actually wed this chick without demanding to know EXACTLY what went down between the two of them, back when he wasn't around, is ridiculous. But hey - turns out his Cynthia was always an untrustworthy life partner, so I guess... Lesson learned, right dumbass?

Good, yet very, very sad story. Expecting Ci Ci to do what most of this author's cheating female characters do, after getting caught: bitterly regret their betrayal to their marriage... to no avail.

I've just been spinning through the comments and saw something that drives me crazy: People who try to make a point by changing the basis of the discussion. The discussion was whether a person's spouse should be their best friend out of ALL people, including the spouse. Most people said yes.

Then, someone said, "Can't they have a best friend, not counting the spouse," but that removes the spouse from the equation and makes the whole question moot!

Really. Keep writing like this.

Good story, in fact terrific story. The perfect little twist. I think it may even be original; at least I’ve never seen it before. A better than “Sopranos” ending... “Ciara!” Hilarious, and yet sad at the sametime.

5-stars.

This was bad.

This needs part two

Dude, this is fucking cruel man. How could you end it there? Please finish it. I'm hoping that you do otherwise I may have to drop a line to 'finishthedamnstory' to finish it for you. You're a good writer man, don't leave us hanging.

You set up all these great characters, then ended the story just as it got to the really good bit!

I feel like I've got literary blue balls!

"Literary blue balls?" That has got to be the best line ever!

I have to say I skimmed it since this is what I am doing with most stories in literotica as I have no interest in reading dragged out lousy writing. But this ending stinks. These incompetent writers need to get bad evaluations to alert readers not to waste time with the crap like this.

5 stars.

5* from me, and a smile

Tell her that my wife told me that Gary had told her he was having an affair

Fucks Gary over for being a douchebag

Your writing is terrific! I read quite a few of the comments and, for the life of me, can't figure out what the detractors are all fired up about. It was a great little flash story. I loved the twist at the end. Almost all stories are snippets of life, unless you're talking about a novel. There's not always a satisfactory ending. Get over it.

Stop commenting on the characters, and how bad they are, and what one should have done to the other. Surprise ! It's fiction ! They don't really exist. You won't run into them at the super market. They're in the mind of the author. Get it ? 5-stars. I love your writing. 😊😊😊😊😊

Great little flash story. Had to read it again and can now imagine her message to Gary during the day.

Would like to see a little more ending...does he divorce her? Does he become friends with gary...etc. excellent writing though.

But it could also be the set up for a very interesting continuation. Pity it ends here. Still, a 5

Lies upon lies. Betrayal is a capital offence!

Do it now! Contact his wife, drop him in as deep as possible, that way she looses everything!

Total war, destroy them and whoever!

This story really needs a 2nd chapter. Not sure if it is divorce time or reconcile, but the truth does need to come out.

She's cold blooded, saying her "friend" was having the affair. She sounds like she'd convinced herself that an affair was a reasonable response to whatever it is that's supposedly bothering her, so why would she stop?

Get rid of her; she'll always rationalize her bad behavior to do whatever she wants and it's obvious her vow to be monogamous is negotiable, at least behind his back. Also, wives should NOT have male friends that they're closer to than their husband. It's an strong indicator that she hasn't fully committed to being married.

He married a cheat and a liar. Paul got a winner.

Don't listen to those who criticize the character of the (fictional) wife instead of reading the story. Or who demand 'finish the story'. You have economically and artfully misled the reader up to the point of a sudden O. Henry-like switch! Perfect!

Grammaticus

I would have given this 4* but as my finger moved across the screen I hit 2* instead as I just could not be bothered to put the effort into going any further.................bit like you with the ending of this story.

FINISH THE DAMN STORY

Hahaha

Nice

Five stars

FINISH THE STORY

Many comments on Finish The Story ... IThis fine tale does NOT end with the note from Sweetie’s male cheerleader best friend disclosing HER affair with an unknown third guy.

It DOES end with Hubby SCREAMING at her using her full first name. How much more evidence does any reader need* to KNOW Hubby is kicking her ass outta his life.

*especially after Hubby spent an entire day adamantly letting Sweetie know she has a more primal demand on her friendship than being passive about her bestie’s adulterous behavior.

5*. excellent as is. Plus ... it is posted as a ‘flash’ story!

No second chapter needed. I read this story when it first appeared, but didn't comment. Others' repeated criticism that this was unfinished strikes me as stupid and shows their inability to appreciate a clever story. I like some of the long, agonizing stories filled with angst. But we need more great flash stories occasionally.

1 star for the lazy way out.

... for allowing us to use our imagination on what happens next. Great one pager.

Just pack and go!

I didn't like her, but then the ending came and I really didn't like her! Good turn. I wouldn't give much hope for the marriage, but that was well told.

Dam short. 4*

For writing one line too many.

Just because most of your stuff is good. This one needs much more to be even.

Where is the rest??? *

I enjoy your stories, and this is a good one. Don't let the trolls get you down.

It's a good story! Was it for the April Fool's contest? If not it's a good premise for one.

Would be nice to get 'the rest of the story' LOL.

Maybe even wimpy cuckold

Well written, but it makes no sense

Her behaviour fully supported her statement of helping her cheating friend.

So, the end twist made no sense whatsoever, no matter how much 'fun' it was

Even in a quick little flash story, just to unwind you are outstanding with your phrases construction.

This wasn't funny. I need at least en epilogue telling me what happened next.

Ouch. Good story, great twist.

5 stars. Thank you!

...bad ending. This cheating wife should have more about her revealed. To end the story here is just a silly game some writers foist upon their readership. I gave it the one star it deserves.

This Story needed another chapter to finish .

Follow up please.

Ruined by no ending.

So we get a Just Plain Bob ending which means no ending at all. Us mere no talent mortals with no imagination need a proper denouement.

Another 5*. I do not understand why people complain that there is no ending. The fat lady has sung. You can get your BTB and RAAC from any number of stories. This story has been told for everything that is new and important.

Really ruined by no ending.

Wheres the rest of it. Only half a story.

Thank you. I enjoy your writing, and I appreciate the time you take to share your work with us.

Happy new year!

Contrary to what others have commented, the best part is that this story is open-ended. It was a clever little plot twist, and we can decide for ourselves where the story might go.

I loved the sudden twist at the end, leaving us to imagine how things might develop from there.