All Comments on 'Best Friends'

Excellent twist.

Why do writers on this site think it's cute or clever to leave stories UNFINISHED!

Good story, but really needs a part 2.

@Anonymous. Even if the story isn't finished, I think the marriage is.

It does not NEED a second part but, as it always happens when the story is thrilling and the author is an awesome writer, you want more and more.

For me the red flags were everywhere...anyone who defend cheating is or cheated before.

I wasn't expecting it..

Why not finish the story? Disappointing.

Fun twist.

nice twist, but where the hell is the rest?

Nice story, nothing extra needed

Second time reading it and still love it, the twist at the end is wonderfull. Altough it doesn't need it, I hope the author comes around to deliver a continuation.

I agree with the other commenters, major disappointment in you leaving this story with a cliffhanger.

"That is what I would want to know. Why. I would want to know where I'm failing you, so that I could fix it." - I realize that this is moot, but how could she find that out if Mike wouldn't tell her? Doesn't Cynthia deserve to know how to fix it?

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I don't know which is worse, the affair or the flat-out lying, trying to make him seem like an asshole.

So, basically the wife was lying and gaslighting her husband the whole time. As far as the whole "WHY" question, cheaters cheat because the feel entitled to cheat. Of course, a cheater will try and make you think you're responsible some how for their cheating.

Great story.. but this does scream for another chapter

LOL

LOL, or was the text all part of a further plot?

That was quick and effective. I like your style of writing and your stories.

1 star - what a pathetic teenage angst story - this shit happens in high school not a marriage.

Like it! Nice story. Love your writing style.

Great story - well written. Good unexpected twist at the end. Was described as a flash story so didn’t expect it to be overly long

I've been having second thoughts about the ending. The abrupt "spit take" ending could be appropriate for a 750-word story. For a regular story, most of us know, the set-up is easy, it's the resolution that's hard. Skipping out on the hard part is kind of weak.

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Another thing that has been mentioned is that these get-togethers have supposedly been double dates that MC has been bailing on, now when he finally goes, Gary's wife isn't there? And Gary is "all smiles" as he comes to a meeting where he's presumably going to be telling Ciara to stop her affair? Something doesn't compute, other than a deliberate misdirection.

Sitcom ending doesn't really fit for me. The twist isn't much of a bombshell, and it's not funny either, so apart from the slight misdirection, the story doesn't really land all that well.

Taking a page out of sbrooks playbook:

"This has always been a point of contention between us. I love Ci Ci. I trust her. But this nagging sense of uncertainty has always been present."

Uh that's the opposite of trust.

The twist at the end. Perfect and yet so un-resolving.

Zero stars for a story that ended in the middle. Finish the damn story.

I agree! Finish the damn story! Zero stars!

Ending?

Great little story! It seems that many readers don't like the ending, but the ending is the most delicious part of the story. You can finish the story any way you want! And I am willing to bet that most readers have already finished the story in their heads within 2 seconds of reading the last words. 5 stars Bravo and thank you!

Doesn't sound like the affair was with Gary. Someone else...

I knew that!

And now the divorce unless you can type your way out of this LOL?

You need a second part to the story

I don't agree with others who say it's up to the reader to finish the story. I want to read stories with a beginning, middle and end. Please, add an ending to this one. I want to hear what she says when confronted and why she has risked her marriage to someone she is meant to love. More to tell here.

I loved it. This is a great compact yarn with a twist at the end. It doesn’t need an ending or a par 2 or an epilogue. 5 stars and added to my favourites.

Yes, this totally reads as the beginning of a longer story. Would love to read the next chapters.

5 stars. No follow-up needed. Thanks, I enjoyed this.

Agree with parrenthesis: 5 stars and no follow-up needed. Top short story.

I was loving the story until the abrupt ending with no satisfaction

It appears normal behaviour for todays women. How can they respect others when they dont have respect for themselves. They need to read a dictionary, they dont understand what the word means. They take what they want and give only what they want. We all wonder why so many marriages fail, but dont realise they did not start even at the beginning. The selfishness starts at the wedding. Why the women spend so much on their outfits while he has a pitance in comparison. Think about it

Smoke. Fire.

@sbrooks103x "I've been having second thoughts" . . . pretty sure that most of the recent "double dates" have either been only CiCi/Gary (her wanting a sympathetic sounding board for her affair), or perhaps even a smokescreen to provide CiCi with an excuse to get away and meet her fuck buddy, with Gary's backup if needed. That's why Gary's wife wasn't there, and why Gary suddenly became anxious.

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As for the story, very nice and satisfyingly complete as-is.

Fucking bitch Ciara! Please do a part 2

Only story of yours i haven't really liked. Mostly because of the abrupt ending. For many writers I'd be ok with it. It's easy to see where it would head on their world.

Your world is much more complex so leaving it up tp MY imagination means I miss out on your creative take on things... which is disappointing.

Great short story.

Kind of open ended.

Sufficient spice for fertile minds to take it to their personal 'logical' conclusions.

Ci Ci rocks!!!

5

Folks that fail to inform friends about spousal cheating are scum, as are writers that glorify such low ethics

Darn, if ever a story needed a second part this definitely does. Probably not going to happen after so long but if we could get more Twin Peaks 20 years after it first aired anything is possible.

This is finished: doesn't need a 2nd part. Well done.

There was a second part oh well leaves a lot up in the air.

Not totally obvious during the saga but Ci Ci's affair seemed to be the other possibility for the awkward moments between friends when he was present. If there is a part two maybe Paul and Gary could find more common likes than they realize since Gary no longer needs to hide what he knows about his friend's wife.

So does he forgive her and try to move forward or just move forward. This one could use a follow up.

Story sucks.

His last scream tells us all we need to know about how this story is going to end. Bravo for having the courage to end it as you did.

Who are you kidding? You're just going to have them reconcile.

And then what happened?

Great twist at the end. :)

good twist

Funny how she rats out her own mentality towards cheating near the end. She says, as the spouse being cheated on, that she would want to know how she has failed and what she can do to fix it. She doesn't put any blame whatsoever on the cheater, she says it's the victim's fault and they need to take responsibility by "fixing" themselves.

In a situation like this it's time to contact a lawyer and thank every deity you can think of that you didn't have kids with her.

⭐⭐⭐ Sorry, rushed finish.

And then what happened (2)?

"I am working on the sequel to "Imbalance", but that is taking a while. It is almost finished, but will at least be a couple more weeks."

Is it already published ? If not, when is going to be ? It was a really great tale with great characters.

Toast. Burnt.

Well done. No more needed. Great twist at the end.

JPB

Love to read the rest of the story. I suspect it would be a short read. Thanks

Needs an ending. Ended at the beginning of the real story.

More…

Great story with unexpected twist. Garry is actually the good guy.

So Paul likes do all those things that keeps him in the close company of men, or watching men, nothing more gay than watching sport or going to the gym (real men do physical work ) but it's Gary that does all the stuff that's likely to get him laid that's the gay one. Lol. No wonder some people get cucked.

Loved it. A hint of the outcome but not exactly that one. I would welcome the next part of this tale.

Great job, although would love a follow up how Paul handles it. Thanks for sharing.

Wasn't expecting that. Nice one.

Loved it. 5 stars.

Especially the hilarious twist at the end.

As my old Dad used to say "There's only one secret to a long and happy marriage. Never ever ever trust a woman."

Damn, your stories are not just ordinary ho hum stories. 5/5

Somehow I knew it was going to happen this way. 5

Brilliantly done, really well written, great work on how you managed to make this work and I didn’t see that ending.

Nicely done. I had a feeling this was coming but I wasn't sure. I'd love to read a follow up to this. BardnotBard

The hubby is a dumb palooka again.

where is the rest of it ???

And then what

What a waste of my time reading this

The end

2 stars. Finish the story!

Flash story with a snap unfinished ending. Whatever.

Unfinished

I gave it a 4. well written. BUT, where's FTDS when ya need him? DMW aka

@sumnut: I think somebody on a different story section commented that he passed. Can’t confirm that though.

Unfinished

Doesn't matter if it's a flash story, you need to have an ending, that is where this fails

4*

The weakest part of this story, IMO, is the deus ex machina used to reveal the truth to Paul. But it's a fun, unexpected plot twist. He's thinking she's having an affair with Gary. He's wrong, but only about the identity of her paramour.

This story is definitely finished. It's not hard to imagine the details of the inevitable divorce.

Great bones no flesh. Where is the ending. Maybe someone will pick it up and finish it.

Wow, 4* however we need some to write an ending!🤣😵‍💫

1 star - FTDS

Not particularly surprising. Her attitude to cheating made it obvious that it's not something she's totally against, which honestly is a huge hit to any trust he had for her. Well RIP that marriage I guess. Unless of course this text is just another ploy by Gary to get into her pants. Honestly it could go either way. I personally wouldn't stay with her when she had that attitude to cheating. There's just no trust there for me after that revelation.

The ending was nicely done. A reader shouldn't need everything spelled out for him or her. The story is well written, and ascribes to the principle, "always leave 'em wanting more." There's no Deus ex Machina here; the phone is organic. It might have been best foreshadowed with a text reference earlier in the story, but it's not implausible. Moreover, the text is from Gary, timely, as the events of the day before revolved around him. The fundamental question of the story was the unexplained unease felt by Paul. The conclusion answers the question: why was Paul uneasy. Now, he knows. Story arc complete.

Gone in a NY second

I checked out this one-off story of yours as a trial of sorts. Verdict: I like your writing style! The paranoia you portrayed was well described. You also played against tropes cleverly. I’ll be checking out more of your stuff. Well done! 👍

5 stars. I thought the ending was great. I don't need everything wrapped up in a neat now Everytime every story. The MC made his feelings on cheating earlier in the story. This marriage is headed to divorce, or at least a very long, difficult reconciliation.

I also like the brief look we get at Gary's take on her infidelity. Just from his text, I believe that Gary, although he didn't rat her out, disapproved if her cheating and told her so. His reference to the MC as a "gr8 guy" probably means that the MC has misjudged him for years.

I enjoyed it. No not every story needs a complete, detailed wrap up to their death. I still felt it was unfinished as a story. A nice short though!

Good start, now how about the rest of the story.

son of a bitch... great flash story but that needs more. you set up a wife that was concerning, then he gives up on the conversation and then that cliffhanger!

As I understand Ci Ci has been cheating, not clear with Gary or anyone else.

Now the husband knows, what he will do?