Best Moment to Nightmare and Back

"That's probably true," I noted. "So then assuming you're not here to hassle me, to what do I owe this auspicious visit? I haven't said more than a couple hundred words to you in more than 20 years, and truthfully, I wasn't planning on saying another couple hundred over the next 20."

"Be nice. Can't old friends just catch up over a few drinks?"

"We're old friends now? I thought we were divorced spouses, with me still trying to come to grips with you breaking your vows with another man."

She got up to go, gave me a long look, and headed off. I made no attempt to stop her.

The next time I saw Anna, the first thing did was to scold me for being mean to her mother.

"I wasn't mean. I was accurate. I'm sorry but the facts are the facts. She screwed around on me with another man and had his baby - which I didn't find out about until the actual birth. That just can't be water under the bridge, babe.

"In about 20 years, I've gotten a couple of half-hearted apologies and a piss-poor explanation of why she cheated on me in the first place. Don't you think she owes me that common decency?"

My daughter put her head down in defeat.

"What's going on, Annie-La? You've never interfered in our relationship before. Why start now? Are we going to start some sort of new tradition about celebrating a divorce anniversary?"

"Dad, it's been three years since Mom split from Victor, and two years since the divorce became final. She hasn't been out with anyone in that time. When I brought it up to her, she said the only man she'd consider dating was you ... or Harrison Ford. So since Harrison is unavailable right now, I figured maybe I could get two of my favorite people together for an evening.

"Could you do this for me ... and for her? My ask ... my favor ... nothing on her."

"I can, Anna, but only if she answers those questions. I played the schmuck once."

Two weeks later, Traci and I repeat the same scenario back at The Royal Crown, only this time it was a much more contrite Traci. Once she sat down, I didn't even have to prompt her.

"So I guess I'm supposed to put on sack cloth and ashes before you'll even speak to me like a person. OK. I get it. But before I do any of that, just tell me why you went after Victor so hard when you saw him cheating on me. I would have thought you'd be glad to get any measure of revenge on me for what I did, and you wind up beating his ass and getting arrested for catching him cheating."

"Because you really don't get it," I answered. "When I told you I loved you and then took a vow, I meant it. And even though you ripped my heart out and ground it up, there will always be a part of me that still loves you. And that dickhead was doing you wrong: plain and simple. Nobody should ever have to feel that pain; even you, especially you. I've never wanted anything bad for you, despite the way you treated me."

The pained look on Traci's face told me everything I needed to know. Then she finally put words to her deeds of so many years ago.

"They say you men think with your lower brains about half the time," she started, "But if that saying is true, then we women love with our lower brains about half the time, and I'm living proof. Why else would I give up the best thing I ever had for mediocrity.

"When Victor first started flirting with me, there was a schoolgirl thrill, an excitement to it. I should have stopped it immediately. Then it got to the point where I knew we were going to have sex, and I wanted that badly. Not because our sex life wasn't great, but it was the thrill of the new, of being wanted, the thrill of the chase. The sex was fantastic, or so I thought, because it felt so forbidden. And the more excited I was, the more I thought what we had was love, not lust.

"Then, when I got knocked up, I was pretty sure it was probably his, and carrying another man's baby seemed so wicked out in the world. When you and I made love, almost all I could think of was having another man's child growing in me while we were doing it, and that would set me off.

"Once we got divorced, the sex with Victor was never quite as good again. I thought at first it was because I just had a baby, but no, even further on down the road the sex was never quite as good again. And, in truth, it never really came close to what you and I had. I even missed your ritual of cuddling right after the act. None of it was ever as good. But I had made my bed and had to lie in it.

"But I was a good wife to Victor. Never turned him down in the bedroom, like I never turned you down. I just don't understand why he did that to me, to us."

As she finished, the tears started rolling down Traci's face. While I don't know this for a fact, I believed some of those tears were for she and I, for what we had and for what she gave away.

"Thank you," was all I could say to her. My brain was going a million miles an hour.

We both sat there sipping our drinks.

About 10 minutes later (actually right on cue), Butch and Sundance sauntered in, and I called them over to my table to meet Traci.

"Ladies, this is my ex-wife, Traci, mother of my daughter, Anna. Traci, this is the famous Butch and Sundance, from, I'm sure, many stories told by Anna."

I had asked Butch and Sundance to show up to keep the weirdness level down. Something about just Traci and I alone didn't feel right, so I asked my two best friends to watch my back. It's good to have friends you can trust like that.

"Have a seat ladies, unless you mind, Traci," I said, glancing at my ex. She probably did mind, but passed this test by keeping it civil.

Since Anna was a common thread for all of us, we talked about her for a while, then I insisted Butch and Sundance show Traci some photos of Billy. Traci was very complimentary, which really went over big with the girls and me, for that matter. While I watched the three of them looking at photos on Butch and Sundance's phones, I thought of the irony of the situation, especially since my ex didn't know that I am Billy's biological father.

I then encouraged Traci to show us some photos of her son, Danny, who was now 22, and I could see her maternal pride soaring as Butch and Sundance complimented her on the boy's good looks.

I have to admit I rarely have said anything to Traci about her son in all the years. I know what went down was certainly not the kid's fault, but I will never be able to come to grips with it, and his very presence will always be a bad reminder. I try to be polite, but I'm never going to be "Uncle Sam" to the kid. Anna loves him dearly, and that's good enough for me.

The four of us sat and drank and talked for about three hours. Everything seemed good, although at one point I left the table for a bathroom break, and when I came back Traci was red in the face and the three of them were quiet for a bit. When Traci left the table for a bathroom break a little later, I asked Butch and Sundance if we had a problem.

"Not unless she plans on causing you some trouble," Sundance replied. "I told her if she bothers you at all, I'd break her fucking legs, and Butch would be able to get me off without a conviction."

Sundance wasn't smiling when she told me what she had said to Traci, and I'm sure she wasn't smiling when she told it to my ex. Coupled with the fact that Anna had warned her about the girls being protective of me, and I could see where Traci got the picture loud and clear.

The girls had to get home to their babysitter and I had to get up for work in the morning, so we ended the night at about 10. Before we broke up, though, Traci leaned in and kissed me on the cheek and said she had a nice time, and maybe we could do it again.

"And maybe next time, we could do it without your "consigliere" and security force?" she asked. "No offense, ladies."

"None taken," Butch replied, while Sundance shook her head in agreement.

Traci and I met again at The Royal Crown in a couple of weeks, this time without Butch and Sundance. Then we tried a "neutral site," so to speak. We enjoyed each other's company. It was sort of like we were dating, but with a lot of history - and heart ache - between us. Anna, for one, was thrilled with the arrangement.

On our fourth date, one thing led to another, and before I really thought about it, we were back at my place, acting like a couple of horny teenagers, until I did think about. That killed the moment and my erection. Traci was lubricating like a 17-year-old, and was incredibly disappointed that I left her wanting. I didn't make any attempt to relieve her situation, and basically gave her the bum's rush out of my house. It was an awkward and quiet drive back to her place to drop her off.

Two days later, I got a phone call from Butch and Sundance. They wanted to meet at the Royal Crown the next night. For them, anything, so we met the next night at 6 for dinner. I got there first and got us a table. The girls showed up five minutes later, followed by Traci. Can you say "set up?"

Apparently, the three women got together after the last date debacle. Traci went over my head and went right to the court of last appeal - Butch and Sundance. The three had a frank discussion of mine and Traci's date, and Butch and Sundance came down on Traci's side. I felt like a kid being chastised by his parents.

"Look, dumbass, we get that you two had a bad experience -a horrendous experience - a long time ago," Butch began in her best attorney voice. "But grow up. That was almost 20 years ago, you got divorced. It's done.

"If you two didn't have any history together and she was just another woman, would you want to date her? Would you want to fuck her? Would you even think twice about that? Look at her; of course you wouldn't.

"You both paid a price for what went down almost 20 years ago. This is a new day. A new beginning. Now get your act together and give this woman the pussy eating and fucking she deserves. You got that, mister? We both know, and Traci does, too, what you are capable of. Now get your asses out of this gay bar and get to it."

I looked tentatively at Butch, then at Sundance, grabbed Traci's hand and pointed her toward the door. Then I whacked her in the ass and said, "get moving."

Just before I reached the door a funny thought hit me, and I turned around to see Butch and Sundance both grinning at me like Cheshire cats. If I didn't live this life, I certainly wouldn't believe it if I came across this story on an Internet website. But sometimes, you can't make this shit up.