All Comments on 'Beth and William Ch. 04'

This is...weird. Your writing shows promise. However, there is no build up of anything, there is no character developement, not anything. Besides, the little glitches, such as, one minute Beth is 145lbs, the next she is 135lbs, she is 5'7", then she is 5'4". The inconsistancies are distracting. Is the side-kick Mindy or Mandy?

Giving the reader an interest or a care in the characters and plot...and editing (!) are extremely important factors in a story. This writing style doesn't quite make it on any level. It started out pretty catchy, but the quality didn't hold up.

I hope there's more.

This story was very well written , yet it needed more perhaps another chapter or so...does Beth become William's accomplice? Are Sandra and Mandy an item much like Beth and William?..I can see plenty of possible outcomes for your story. Well done.

You’re clearly very talented and I’m surprised that after only 4 chapters how real these characters seem. Unfortunately so many supposedly BDSM stories published on this site are little more than abusive wannabe Dom’s. This is the exact opposite there’s no doubt that it’s consensual at all. Despite the fact that limits and safe words haven’t been brought up something which would normally make me frustrated and sometimes angry this story is sensual and has a level of trust and integrity that’s hard to find.

So even if you don’t go back to writing (which I and I assume others would love) thank you for what you have written and shared.

Tess (UK)