All Comments on 'Betrayed?'

More like no traction, sucked !!!

This monologue read too much like a history of the world in 60 seconds. It could make an outline for a book, but it lacks focus and character development for a short story about the "betrayal."

Thanks for taking the time & effort needed for writing this story.

The guy is an @$$. I cannot understand how she trusted him after he didn't trust her. Good story otherwise.

But a good read. Thanks for sharing.

Nice story in a different setting.

An editor to weed out the various mistakes would not go amiss.

but you seriously need an English language editor who knows how to spell. Your mistakes greatly detracted from the story. Your "epilog" at the end seemed rushed.

good read. thank you. an editor would be helpful.

but baby its cold outside, TK U MLJ LV NV

I think you had some good ideas, but your grammar errors are so distracting that it just made reading the story frustrating.

Is English not your first language???I got the main plot of the story,,although a whole lifetime was crammed into 3 pages,,,which was excellent,,,but oh my gosh,,,the errors,grammer,punctuation,made it difficult to read,,,If you write more,,please,,do yourself and the readers a favor,,and get an EDITOR!!!!!!,I admire your efforts,,,but please,please,get some help....

their services would help you stories, a lot.

Thanks for the offering.

set in modern day Alaska, TK U MLJ LV NV

At the Hen party, the bride-to-be gets drunks and her maids-of-honor take her home. She would not be driving by herself. Also there is a thing called cellphone. You use it to call the AAA. When she got out of the truck she would be crying and then screaming rape at her house.

Bullshit, if Tank raped a Sherry, he wouldn’t have driven her home! Sherry gave it up to Tank!

Yeah, I have a problem with the rape argument. She cheated. It's obvious

Nice love story. Please get an editor — it will make your writing so much better.

Ed