Betrayed

I had a sudden sense of foreboding; I prepared myself for what I was sure would be bad news: "Okay, what's the message?"

"He said that when I saw you next, if you should ask where he was, I should tell you...that he'd see you in hell. Pardon my language, and I'm very sorry, dear, for all that's happened."

Tears were rolling down my face. He was gone. He had prepaid his child support, given away everything he owned that he couldn't carry, disconnected his phone, and left; abandoned his daughter without another word. He had said he'd be gone but I assumed he meant from the house, not from our lives. He had called Juliana 'your daughter' but I had thought that was just in the heat of the moment.

Mrs. Perrine left and Juliana came back in the house. She saw the tears streaming down my face. "What is it, mom?"

I had no other answer. Any hope I had that this was a mistake or that things were going to be okay was gone. I felt I had no choice but to be completely honest. "He's left, baby. I'm sorry."

Juliana flashed anger. "You did this! You drove him away by fucking his best friend and dumping him! My father is gone and it's all your fault!" She broke down in tears.

I grabbed her and gathered my sobbing daughter in my arms. "I'm sorry, honey, I never imagined this would happen. But things couldn't go on the way they were. I wish there had been some way to do it differently, but there is no easy way to do something like this."

We collapsed onto the floor of the abandoned kitchen, crying into each other's shoulders for seemingly hours, though in fact it was about 10 minutes, until we were finally able to get our emotions under some semblance of control. We drove back to the condo in silence and Juliana immediately went to her room and slammed the door, bursting into tears again.

"What happened?" asked Tom.

"He's gone," I told him. "He donated everything in the house, cut off his phone, left a check for the full amount of his child support..." I showed him the check. "And he told our neighbor if we asked where he was that he'd see us in hell. Tom, I'm afraid. What if he does something foolish?"

We sat on the couch and I leaned into Tom's shoulder. I simply couldn't believe what had happened.

Tom said, "I never would have believed he'd react like this. He's always been the one that could handle the crisis. When we were being stupid and shattering beer bottles outside that school one night and the cops showed up, we all scattered but there was no way we'd all get away. He calmly put himself in harm's way to let the rest of us escape. We asked him why the next day and he said there was no other way out of it. They needed to catch someone – once they did, he figured they'd stop looking for anyone else – and he said he was the most logical choice since he was the one with the record. He gave himself up for us. It was perfectly logical to him. I knew he'd be hurt by this but was sure he'd understand that it made sense and we'd somehow move on. There's nothing we can do now until he turns up."

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HENRY

The good thing about being an electrician is there's always work no matter where you go. It's only slightly trickier to keep yourself off the grid so no one tracks you down. I had canceled all my credit cards and was paying cash for everything. I was living 3 states away by the time they found out the house was empty. I was able to find a local contractor that would pay me in cash in exchange for taking a lower hourly rate than I was worth. Since I didn't really need the money and wanted to work, I took it.

"You on the run?" he asked me.

"Not really," I answered. "Not from the law or anything. Just don't wanta be found."

"That's okay," he said. "I have an ex-wife, too." I had to smile at that.

I slept in my car and found a local truck stop nearby where I could shower and shave. I had money to get a room but didn't want to put my name on anything. They probably weren't looking. After all, they had already demonstrated that they didn't give a crap about me, and especially since they had their ransom (aka child support), but one never knows.

With the weather turning colder soon I'd need something a little more insulated. I found a listing for a room for rent. The owner of the mobile home was an elderly woman who said I should just call her Miss Ruth. I asked if we'd be able to do this without a formal lease. She was a world-wise woman and accepted that I had my reasons. "I don't need the money. I have plenty. I'm just looking for some company and some help to fix this place up a bit. How about you just stay here off the record, in exchange for doing some repairs and being here to keep me company 4 or 5 nights a week?" That sounded like a good deal and I accepted.

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JENNIE

The divorce had become final in the middle of January, and Juliana's 15th birthday was about a week later. She held out hope that something would arrive from her father, but the day came and went without a word. I was heartbroken to hear Juliana crying into her pillow later that evening. I walked into mine and Tom's bedroom (which of course used to be the bedroom I shared with Henry). He was reading, something he did regularly.

"I really thought she'd hear from him. Even if he sent it to his lawyer to bring to us I really thought he would send something. Can he really have completely given her up just for choosing to live with us?"

"It surprises me, too," Tom replied. "Obviously we underestimated how much this would hurt him. But we can't let it ruin our lives together, honey. Otherwise there'll have been no point to this. We have to try to be happy and just deal with Henry when and if he decides to enter our lives again. But we might want to think about having Juliana see a counselor."

"Yes, I think you may be right about that. Since it doesn't seem like he's coming back, we're going to have to help her come to terms with him being gone."

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HENRY

I had been with Miss Ruth for nearly 3 years, just going to work and going home. I was actually home with her most every night. I had no interest in going out, and certainly none in picking up women. It was now January and I had celebrated, okay, observed my 40th birthday less than 2 months ago. And as much as I tried to push my former life out of my mind, it still crept in once in a while. I was aware that my former wife would, herself, be turning 40 in a few months. She had married Tom 2 months after the divorce was final, so their 3-year anniversary was approaching. I had kept an eye on the wedding announcements in the online version of the local newspaper and had gotten quite drunk the day I saw it appear. I was also aware that my former daughter's 18th birthday was later this month, and that she'd be graduating from high school this June. I briefly wondered what her college plans were but quickly pushed all thoughts of those treacherous people out of my mind, and suddenly I needed a drink.

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JENNIE

Juliana had been driving since she turned 16, so when she turned 18 and found the new car in the driveway that we had given her we were comfortable with giving her the okay to pick up some of her friends and spend the day at the mall.

We had reached the point where we no longer expected anything to arrive on her birthday from her father, but we continued to hold out the faintest hope. But again the day passed and nothing arrived.

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JULIANA

Graduation day. As I sat amongst the other 347 kids in my high school graduating class, I cried a few quiet tears for what my life should have been. Mom and dad should still be married, and they should be sitting together waiting for me to walk across the stage. It had been one of the goals we talked about for years, and we should have shared it together. That may have been selfish thinking, but it was how I felt. Sure, mom was happy. Once they managed to at least put the pain of the split and dad's disappearance behind them, they had settled into a good routine. Mom clearly loved Tom and vice versa, probably more than she ever loved dad. But I still couldn't help but feel none of this should have ever happened.

I scanned the crowd and was able to locate mom and Tom, and they waved at me as our eyes met. Not far away I also found Danielle's parents. They had been a big source of support during the divorce and even since then. They tried their best to try and explain the pain daddy probably felt, though they made sure I knew they didn't condone his actions. They had meant a lot to me, and I was glad they were here even if it was actually for Danielle.

I continued looking around and saw a few other familiar faces, but suddenly one caught my eye. He was sitting near the back, wearing glasses and his hair was rather long, but I was sure about the face. I stood up to try and get a better look, but just like that he was gone. Maybe it had been my imagination.

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JENNIE

The next 4 years passed relatively quickly and without incident. Despite our efforts, including a few visits to fertility specialists, Tom and I were unable to conceive a child of our own. I would have loved to have given Tom a child but it just wasn't in the cards. Nonetheless we remained very much in love and were happy with our choice to be together. We obviously regretted some of the repercussions but they couldn't all be helped.

Juliana was getting ready to graduate from UC Berkeley and would be pursuing a teaching career. She had recently started dating a young man named Benjamin and they seemed very good together.

As happens frequently when Juliana is reaching milestones in her life, I started thinking about Henry. It had been about 7 years since we had heard anything from him at all. We had contacted his attorney once before but was told he had no messages for us and would contact us if he ever did, but otherwise he couldn't tell us anything, even if he did know where Henry was.

I took some solace that we had never been notified of his death so I presumed he was still alive somewhere and I couldn't help but wonder what he was doing and whether he had managed to move on from the pain I had caused him.

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HENRY

Still living off the grid, as it were, I was now renting a room in a boarding house, again on a cash basis without a formal lease (thanks to a reference from Miss Ruth). I was 44 years old now and remained in excellent shape. Miss Ruth had started to have health problems about a year ago and her family was forced to move her into a care facility, and they sold her mobile home to a family. I was still working for the same company and being paid cash, though I had seen some increases in pay. I wouldn't say I was happy, but I was at peace with where my life was. Of course, then I went into Denny's for lunch.

I had been here many times before, though it had been about 3 weeks since the last time, and I knew the staff pretty well. Gail, a lovely black woman in her early 60's who worked the counter and whom I had known since I landed here, saw me come in. She knew my story backwards and forwards, having been a great person to talk to over the years and promising to be discreet. She was the only person here I had confided in. I went to sit at the counter and she stopped me.

"Uh-uh, Mr. Henry; today you need to sit in that booth right over there," she said. She pointed to one of the booths along the front of the restaurant.

Knowing better than to argue with Gail, who had a reason for everything she did, I dutifully took a seat in the second booth in the row, hoping she would explain the demand at some point. It became quite clear what her intent was when my server showed up, one I had never seen before. She looked to be in her mid-30's. She was tall, slim, blonde, (coincidentally, or not, the polar opposite from Jennie's short, brunette, and curvy) and beautiful. And she had a wonderful smile. Her name tag read 'Kelly'.

"Good morning," she said. "How're you doin' today?"

"Much better now," I answered.

It was cheesy, I know, but she smiled like it was the sweetest thing she had ever heard, even though it was probably the millionth time she had heard it. I ordered my usual and then waited until Kelly disappeared around a corner. I jumped up and caught Gail.

"I know what you're doing, you know."

"I should hope so," she answered. "Or you're not as smart as I thought you were." Then she went about her business.

Kelly checked on me a couple of times before my food came, then delivered the plate promptly. I watched as she interacted with other customers, and several times caught her glancing back at me while I was looking at her. It seemed she felt the same connection I felt. Or maybe she was just afraid I was going to stalk her and she wanted to be able to provide a good description.

She approached me one more time. "My shift is ending so I wanted to wish you a good day," she said.

She hadn't made a point of saying goodbye like this to any of the other customers. It must have meant something, so I took a chance. "Say, would you have dinner with me tonight?"

Her face lit up with a big smile. "I'd like that. You can pick me up here at 6:00."

I stayed in my booth until she left. She gave me a nice smile as she passed me on her way out. I immediately went to the counter to talk to Gail, who I was pretty sure lived here.

"All right, Cupid, what's her story?" I asked.

Gail gave me the story as she knew it. "She's 35 and has an 8-year old daughter named Megan. Her husband couldn't hold a job and ran off with her best friend when the girl was only 3." That sounds familiar, I thought. "She just moved here hoping to get a fresh start and hasn't even dated since hubby took off. I thought of you instantly. You'll be good together. I can feel it."

"Does she know you set us up?" I asked. Gail just gave me a mischievous smile. She would never tell me.

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I showed up at Denny's at 5:45, not wanting to be late, with flowers in hand. I sat, very nervously, in a booth near the door and waited for her to arrive, and promptly at 6:00 Kelly appeared...from behind me. She had been waiting in the back room. She was nervous and hadn't wanted to wait at her apartment, she said. She wore a white floral print dress and pink high heels, which nearly elevated her to my height. She wore just a touch of makeup and looked utterly beautiful. And I told her so.

"Thank you very much, that's a sweet thing to say," she said. "You look quite handsome yourself."

She hooked her arm in mine and we walked the 2 blocks down to Maggie's Steak House. I know it's something of a romantic notion, but Kelly's arm really felt like it belonged there. Maybe it had simply been so long since anyone's had been there, but that's not what I felt. We were seated at a 2-person booth sitting across from each other. Gail had said she was 35 but she didn't look much over 25 tonight. Her blonde hair was mostly down but she had some of it twisted in a braid.

I was in something of a tough spot. I wanted to know everything about her, but I wasn't much interested in talking about what I generally referred to as my first life. In my mind the person that had lived the first 37+ years of my life was not actually me; or at least the 'me' that I was now. I was occasionally asked if I had kids and my answer was always no, because as far as I was concerned when Juliana chose her mother she replaced me with Tom. Of course, I'd like to say I even really believed all that, but I knew there was a part of me that still loved and missed her; it was just buried deep, deep under all of the pain and anger. So to limit my exposure I tried to keep the conversation as current as possible.

"So, how long have you been at Denny's?" I asked. That seemed like a safe start.

"Just a couple of weeks now; I've done serving before and I really enjoy getting to talk to people," she answered. "And they're able to give me day shifts so that I can work while my daughter's in school."

"How old's your daughter?" I asked. I knew the answer; Gail had already told me. But I wanted to make sure I got any information directly from Kelly rather than a 3rd party.

"She's 8, and she is the light of my life," she said. "Her name is Megan and she is so smart and beautiful. Do you have any kids?"

Crap. "No, I don't," I tried to say as normal as possible. And technically this isn't lying, because I don't have kids; As far as I was concerned I used to have one but not anymore, at least not in this life.

"Do you like kids?" Kelly asked. "Because any man that ends up in my life has to be prepared to be a father to Megan. That's not to say I'm out hunting for one. I can do just fine on my own. But I'm not going to be in a situation where 'me and my daughter' is separate from 'me and my husband'. We'll be a family, and we'll act like one. Does that make sense?"

"It does," I answered. "And I couldn't agree more. And to answer your question: yes, I like kids very much." Juliana's face, at least the last one I remember seeing, came to my mind unbidden.

As the evening wore on I did admit to having been married before and being divorced, but I did my level best to not divulge too many details, explaining that I still held a lot of anger and pain about it (which was the truth) but that I was determined to not let it affect my future relationships (which was also true). We kept it short – just dinner – and then I offered to drive her home, but she had me drop her at the restaurant again.

"Henry, I confess that I really like you," Kelly explained. "I felt a connection when I first talked to you at my table and I still feel it tonight. But I can't have you take me home because that's where Megan is. My neighbor is nice enough to watch her when I have to work extra or go out for some reason. But I'm not ready for Megan to see me with someone until I'm really ready and really sure. I hope you can understand that."

"I understand completely, Kelly," I responded. "I just have me but you have her to consider. I'll let you be the guide for that kind of thing. Can I see you again tomorrow?"

"I can't go out again tomorrow night," she said. "I don't want to be a burden on Mrs. Pritchett. But I work tomorrow morning, and I'd really like it if you came and had breakfast in my station tomorrow."

"Can we consider it our second date?" I asked.

"I'd like that very much. Maybe Gail will let me sit with you for a few minutes, since she set us up and all."

"I wasn't sure if you were aware of that. I'll see you in the morning." I gave her a kiss on the cheek.

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KELLY

I had been hard at work since 7:00am this morning (the school has an early morning program that allows me to drop her off before I come to work) and we were busy this morning, but I knew the moment Henry walked in the door just about 7:45. I felt him before I saw him. All of my tables were actually taken so he sat at the counter with Gail until one opened up and then he swooped in and grabbed it before it was even fully cleared.

I really wanted to spend time with him but I was at work and that had to be my first priority, but I was able to take a quick 5 minutes to sit with him. He reached his hands across the table to me and I took both of his in both of mine.

"I'm sorry I don't have more time to sit with you."

"It's okay, I know you're working. When can I take you out again?"

"Like I said, I don't like to take advantage of Ms. Pritchett's kindness. How about we do something two nights from now?"

"I guess I can wait that long, as long as I can come in for breakfast and see you between now and then."

"You better. I should get back to work."