Big Bang Theory - Blonds on Blacks

(Fictional story about fictional characters)

Penny Hofstadter was laying back, lounging on the comfy, worn leather sofa in Apartment 4A which she shared with her husband Leonard. At the moment, he was sitting between her feet meticulously applying bright red polish to her toenails. He had completed a thorough pedicure and had her right foot cradled lovingly in his hand while delicately painting her nails. "You know, you're really good at that," she complimented him, "if that whole scientist thing doesn't work out, you could start a new career."

"Thanks. I had a lot of practice painting Star Wars miniatures," he smiled, "but this special treatment is reserved for the woman I love...just like my special shaving skills," and he began to run his hands all the way up her silky, smooth endlessly long legs until he reached the bottom of her familiar Hello-Kitty shorts. "Is there any particular area that needs shaving today," he grinned hopefully.

"Easy there, my horny little Ewok," Penny laughed, "you'll smudge my nails."

He proceeded to suck her left big toe into his mouth to show her the polish was dry, and announced, "see...no problem."

"Now that you mention it, I am beginning to get a little stubble in a certain area," she slyly grinned.

"I noticed," he agreed while chuckling, "I checked my tongue for scratches this morning."

"Race you to the shower," Penny challenged him while dumping him to the floor.

She had her crop top and shorts (no panties) off before reaching the bathroom door and the water running by the time Leonard was pulling off his t-shirt. He had stumbled and fallen while attempting to pull his pants off as he was running, and was now rubbing his bruised knee. "Oh, do you want Penny to kiss your boo-boo," she teased him.

"I want you to kiss something," he mumbled while stepping into the shower with her. The water was now cascading down over her magnificent nude body and Leonard just stood there admiring her. "I truly am the luckiest man on earth," he whispered, watching her wet flaxen hair cling to her graceful shoulders. Reaching for the body-wash, he squirted an ample amount on his palms and began to run them up and down her arms before expanding to her back and chest. Her wonderful 36 C breasts were as firm as cafeteria Jello as he rubbed and massaged them, spending an inordinate amount of time making sure they were soapy and clean. Her pink areola were large and elliptical, topped by gumdrop sized, darker pink nipples. He loved running his hands down her tits, watching her hard nipples flick back to attention as each finger passed over them; like they were made of rubber.

Dropping to his knees in front of his prize he intently caressed her long shapely legs, marveling at their perfection. They were so smooth and soft as they tapered up to where they met in a perfect thigh gap. Reaching around her, Leonard soaped her firm, perfectly round ass cheeks, making sure to work his fingers into her crease and gently soap her sphincter hole. Cupping her prominent mound in his soapy hand, he massaged and fondled her labia. Leaning forward, not caring about the soapy taste, he kissed her slit and rubbed her lips with his thumbs. This was the part that always amazed him: as she became aroused, her labia unfolded from inside her opening and spread out to resemble the wings of a pink butterfly. "Looks like someone is enjoying this as much as I am," he teased her as her labia spread their wings.

"Oh God, Leonard...you are sooo good at that," she moaned when she felt his tongue snake into her hole.

"OK, enough of that," he teased her again as he pulled his head back to gaze up her magnificent nude body. "I'm not risking a rash on my chin...no more until we get you shaved."

"Holy crap on a cracker," she giggled, "how can you stop now."

He had already grabbed his can of shaving gel and was popping a new Fushion blade into his razor. "The key to a really smooth shave is in the preparation," he grinned as he urged her to sit on the side of the tub. She sat on the edge of the tub and coquettishly spread her amazing legs, giving him access to her pussy. Kneeling, Leonard meticulously spread extra-sensitive shaving gel all around her crotch, making sure to rub it into every indentation and fold. Working gingerly and with a purpose, he proceeded to use long gentle strokes to shave Penny's plump mound. He made sure to tuck her "butterfly-wings" back inside her to avoid any chance of a nick.

All the while Penny was watching her favorite penis grow as he groomed her most sensitive area. Admittedly, she sometimes enjoyed a huge cock, but she was no size-queen. She always thought Leonard's fat nine-incher was the perfect size for her; and he never failed to satisfy her. He always told her, "nerds try harder," and she guessed he was right. When he had finished, he sat back on his heels and admired his handiwork. "She is so beautiful...and she's all mine," he thought as he stared at her glistening nudity.

Pointing at his erection, Penny remarked, "now who's enjoying himself."

Jarred back to consciousness, Leonard grasped the hand-held shower attachment and began to rinse the gel residue from her ultra-smooth mound. As he did so, her labia again began to appear and spread out. "I think the answer is: both of us," he winked at her. Leaning forward, he extended his tongue and then licked her entire slit from the bottom to the top. "Oh yeah...totally slick," he declared, gazing up into her emerald eyes.

Even with the water, he could smell her arousal and she hooked her hands under his armpits and pulled him up as she stood. "How did I get so lucky," she mumbled before smothering his lips with hers. Leaning against the wall of the shower so that the water was spraying their heads, Penny put one foot up on the tub's edge so that her legs were spread and grasped Leonard's hard-on in her hand. "It feels all clean and new; I think we should take it for a test-spin," she suggested while nudging his crown against her slit. "You deserve a reward for all your hard work." Smiling from ear to ear, Leonard simply pushed upward and his length slid all the way up her wet cunt. "Oh yessss," Penny moaned as she felt his fat prick stretch her pussy.

Her vagina was so hot and wet, it felt like he was sticking his prick into a bowl of warm pudding. Leonard grasped her firm ass cheeks in each hand and held her against him as they stood there savoring the sensation of that first penetration. "Thank you for that reward...I can't imagine a better one," he whispered in her ear.

"I told you the first time we had sex and it still goes...you don't have to thank me," she chuckled as she shifted her body to gain more penetration. "Now fuck me." Leonard began to flex his knees and drive his cock up into her pussy, trapping her wonderful body against the shower wall. "Oh yeah baby...fuck your little Penny," she urged, feeling him deep inside her. Burying his fingertips in her soft ass-flash, he slowly and deliberately drove his pole into her juicy cunt. Leonard never passed on an opportunity to have sex with his wife and was amazed that her pussy always felt as tight as the very first time; and he was still just as eager to fuck her as the very first time. The shower was still running and as their bodies slammed together, water was splashing out to the sides.

Jamming into her hole, still trapping her against the shower wall, Leonard reached up and began to massage her wonderful breasts. They were so soft and soapy that his hands just slid off when he attempted to squeeze them. Leaning in, he caught her right nipple between his teeth, pulled it out and then let it go; watching it snap back to ripple her ample tit flesh. He never got tired of looking at her nude body, and he told her, "I love fucking you, Mrs. Hofstadter."

"I love having your cock in me, Mr. Hofstadter," she assured him while throwing her arms around his neck, "now cum in me."

"It is my goal in life to make you happy," he answered as his hands recaptured her ass cheeks and he thrust up inside her as hard as he could. Grinding his pelvic bone against hers, trapping her engorged clit between them, he began to pump his warm load deep inside her cunt.

"Oh yeah baby...fill my fucking hole," she urged as he raised up on his tiptoes in an attempt to shove even more cock inside her. The water had turned cooler and that seemed to refresh them both as they ground against each other, fucking each other as hard as possible. "Oh my God that's good," she purred as Leonard nibbled on her ear lobe, driving her crazy.

Feeling him finally begin to shrivel inside her, Penny relaxed and hugged him against her slippery body. 'I know I don't say it often enough, but I love you," she murmured into his ear.

"Often enough...ever...who's counting," he laughed as he slapped her slick ass, making a loud "smacking" sound, "you definitely make me the happiest man in the universe."

A few mile away in the Pasadena 'burbs, things were not so rosy in the Wolowitz household. Ever since the birth of baby Halley, the sex life of Bernadette and Howard had suffered. It wasn't just having the baby in the house; they also now had to deal with Stuart as their live-in child care helper. Bernadette wouldn't admit it, but Howard just didn't satisfy her anymore. Even though he tried various marital-aids and his imagination took a backseat to no one; he just wasn't hitting the right spots. When he arrived home that night, he had a paper bag in his hand and a gleam in his eyes. "I have something in here that will shock and amaze you," he declared when they met in the kitchen. "Remember that Lifetime movie Penny did a few years ago, and then there was a different Showtime version where she was topless and had simulated sex?"

"Yeah I seem to remember you drooling over that," Bernadette rolled her eyes, "so what."

"Well my little princess," he began, "it seems there was another version...an X-rated version...ta da." With a flair he whipped a DVD out of the bag. "I stopped at the Adult Store on the way home and I found it while I was browsing." Looking at the cover of the box, Bernadette saw an actress that certainly looked like Penny surrounded by the members of the fictional football team from the movie.

"Are you sure that's her," Bernadette's excited voice rose into the next octave and the chihuahua next door began to bark.

"I'm sure," Howard claimed, "let's watch it."

They ran upstairs, slipped the DVD into the machine and settled back against their pile of pillows. As soon as they heard Penny's voice and saw her perfect ass, they knew it was definitely her. "I'm not sure I want to watch it," Bernadette said, I feel like a peeping tom or something."

"That's what makes it so sexy," Howard admitted, rubbing his crotch as Penny got naked.

"Why didn't she ever mention it," Bernadette wondered, her eyes glued to the screen.

"Are you kidding...just look," Howard answered as he watched Penny fondling the largest black dick he had ever seen, "holy shit." He could see Bernadette rubbing her jumbo breasts through her pajamas and could actually smell her arousal as she watched Penny attempt to felate the black actor. Howard knew Bernadette had dated a large black man before she met him and always wondered if she missed his supposed sexual prowess. "Is that what Glenn was like," he quietly asked her.

Almost wistfully, Bernadette answered, "oh no...not that big," knowing exactly what he was fishing for..."but pretty big." The truth was, sometimes Bernadette longed for a penis bigger than Howard's "hot dog," especially since giving birth. On the screen, Penny was now being fucked by the giant black dong and Bernadette's hand was down her pajamas, two fingers buried in her pussy. "God, look at her go," she gasped as the pole disappeared into Penny's hole. Howard was done pretending not to be turned on by seeing Penny violated and he shoved his bottoms down and began to openly masturbate. Glancing over, Bernadette exclaimed, "get over here and fuck me with that thing," as she shoved her pajamas down her legs and lay back with them spread wide. Between her short, but shapely, legs Howard stared at her damp mound. The thing that caught his eye, of course, was the bright gold ring attached to her left labia. Her lips were abnormally long, almost like flaps, but the ring was the attention-getter. It was the result of a drunken sorority party and Howard had convinced her to re-attach it after giving birth.

Normally he would have warmed her up with a little oral action, but when she ordered him to do something...he jumped. Crawling onto her, without even aiming, his thin prick slipped easily into her cunt and he began to ride her body, grinding his hips in a circular motion in an attempt to hit all her spots. Arching his back, he reached up and shoved her pajama top to her neck so he could free her "noise-cancelling" breasts (as he referred to them). On her tiny body, they were absolutely huge. 34 DD and they had gotten even rounder after being pregnant. Her areola were large brown circles surrounding nipples that were nearly three-quarters of an inch long. Laying back on the bed, they flattened out across her entire chest, and sloshed back and forth like giant water balloons. Howard began to maul them like a cat toying with a half-dead mouse, batting them back and forth and pinching her nipples roughly. "Come on Howie," she demanded, "you call that fucking...jam that thing in me."

Used to being emasculated by his sometimes cruel wife, Howard ground his pelvis into hers and leaned down to capture her nipple between his teeth, biting it violently. Looking over his shoulder at the screen where the large black actor was plowing Penny, Bernadette grabbed Howard's ass and shoved her middle finger up his sphincter, spurring him on. His body twitching, he started to shoot his seed inside her, pumping as fast as he could. "That's it...fuck me...let me feel that little thing," she encouraged him.

All too soon, Howard was done and rolled off his blonde bride. Breathing heavily, he reluctantly asked, "you were thinking about that guy in the film, weren't you." Bernadette didn't answer and he continued, "tell me the truth...would you like to be Penny in that movie?"

Not wanting to look him in the eyes, and staring at the ceiling, Bernadette replied, "you mean Angelina Lincoln," using Penny's stage name.

"Yeah, Angelina," Howard agreed, "you know it's OK if you say yes...actually I have an idea."

"I will admit that sometimes I'm not satisfied," she worded her response carefully so as not to directly blame him.

"I know," he responded, "just think about this for a minute before answering; how would you like to make a movie of your own...with a large black guy."

Mulling over all the ramifications that she could think of in her head, Bernadette answered, "well assuming it were possible; you know with all the contacts and actors and film crew and logistics; I guess we wouldn't have to worry about any of our friends watching those kinds of films."

"Look how long it took for me to stumble across this one," Howard agreed. "My friend Eddie Crispo has had some dealings with the adult film industry from time to time. I bet he could give me some contact info."

"Oh Howie...I don't know," she pondered, "I would only do it if Penny did it with me. Do you think Leonard knows about this?"

"Are you kidding," Howard responded, "he would be in a coma from a massive coronary if he ever found out about this movie. Actually, that might be the bargaining chip we need to convince Penny to do it...I have a feeling she would do anything to keep Leonard from seeing this film."

"Oh you mad, evil scientist," Bernadette smiled, "I love how your mind works. I'll say something to her tomorrow."

"Then I guess we're doing this," Howard stated.

"I guess we are," Bernadette grinned.

The next day at Zangen, Bernadette summoned Penny into her impressive office. Once Penny was seated, Bernadette began in a somber tone, "we're good friends, right."

"The best...but don't tell Amy I said that," Penny tired to laugh, but saw how serious Bernadette was being.

"Well Penny, or should I say Angelina Lincoln, I have a business proposition for you," Bernadette told her.

"Ang...wait...what...how did you know...," Penny stammered, suddenly conscious of the lurching feeling in her stomach. Reaching under her desk, Bernadette pulled the DVD from her purse and showed it to Penny; whose eyes grew wide as saucers. Tears began to form as Penny asked, "does Leonard know about this."

"No," Bernadette assured her, "and if you play your cards right...he doesn't have to."

"What...what do you mean," Penny inquired, already frightened of the answer.

"Howard found this by accident," Bernadette started, "you see we have been having marital difficulty...oh Hell...Howie just doesn't satisfy me anymore and we have been trying different things. We decided that I am going to make a movie like this...with a large, well endowed, black man and I will only do it if you do it with me."

Trying to let the words and the implications sink in, Penny was slow to respond: "wait...what...you're blackmailing me to do a porno with you. I thought we were friends...best friends...how could you do this."

"We are friends...I wouldn't even consider doing this if it wasn't with a friend. I'm trying to save my marriage and honestly, you might make some decent money. None of our friends watch these movies...no one will ever find out," Bernadette tried to persuade her.

"God Bernadette...I can't...I can't believe you would ask me," Penny yelled, on the verge of breaking down.

"Like I said, I'm trying to save my marriage," Bernadette explained, "I don't want to tell Leonard about this," she nodded as she held up the DVD box, "but you know those loose lips of Howie...he just can't keep a secret. Besides, I don't know why you're so surprised...you know what a bitch I really am. Just ask anyone here at Zangen and they'll tell you what a bully I am."

Her shoulders slumping, feeling like she had been punched in the gut, Penny acquiesced, "I just can't believe you would possible destroy my marriage to save yours...how would it work."

"Well there are a lot of details to be worked out," Bernadette explained, "but we could do it on work time. I'm the boss of this Division, so I pretty much come and go as I please; and I'm your boss, so I can sign you out for sales calls or product conferences anytime I wish. No one would miss us. I'll keep you informed of the details." Penny left Bernadette's office, her head spinning with the turn of events. How could Bernadette ask her to cheat on her husband? Could she ever be friends with Howard and Bernadette again? She knew she had to do it...she would do anything to keep Leonard from being hurt.

Later that night at the Wolowitz residence, Howard walked into the kitchen and asked Bernadette, "did you ask Penny."

"She'll do it...what choice does she have," Bernadette answered.

"That's great," Howard exclaimed, "Eddie Crispo set me up with an Adult Director named George Lucas...George Lucas...not THE George Lucas, but how cool is that. I showed him your pictures and he already has this whole scenario in his head. He's going to bill you and Penny as the Golden Gurls, because of your hair,...you know spelling Girls differently to avoid any trademark infringement. He even thought of a series theme: Blonds On Blacks. He's already working on a story-line...I'm so excited."

"You get that you won't be taking part in the movie," Bernadette asked, "and who said anything about a series."

"I know...I know," Howard admitted dejectedly, "I'm excited for you. When he said series, I didn't want to burst the bubble until we made the film."

For the next few days, Penny barely spoke to Bernadette at work; acknowledging her with a head nod when they passed in the corridor. Every time she saw her boss, Penny felt like crying. On Friday, Bernadette summoned her to her office and Penny dutifully entered and sat. "OK, here's the deal," Bernadette stated in a very business-like tone, "we'll leave work early next Wednesday for a fictitious sales-call and drive to the studio. It should only take one or two days. I guess there is nothing complicated about these films; but you should know better than me." Again Penny nearly burst into tears with the way her former friend rubbed her past experience in her face. Bernadette explained the theme of the film and the Golden Gurls nickname, while Penny listened in silence.