Big Bang Theory Season 08 Ep. 12-14

Sheldon slipped from her and climbed off the bed. He scampered into the bathroom and after several minutes, he snuck out and returned to the sofa.

Penny and Leonard had hoped he would be gracious enough to head back across the hall to his apartment, but that was asking too much of him. Leonard did manage to close the bedroom door so Penny and he could cuddle and fall asleep in each other's arms without any further disruption from Sheldon.

A few days later Leonard and Penny were on their way out of the apartment. Sheldon stopped them and asked them to make noise and talk loudly so he could test out his noise-canceling headphones. They did and it worked.

Penny looked over his shoulder, "What are you doing anyways?"

I'm concentrating on solving the dark-matter problem. I'm shutting off the entire outside world, that way I can concentrate without distractions."

She headed for the door, "Okay, have fun."

"Oh, I will, nothing is more fun than a paradigm-shifting evening of science."

She stopped at the door and turned to Leonard and scoffed, "And you thought it was soaping me up in the shower."

Leonard chuckled and yelled back to Sheldon, "Bye!"

Sheldon put his headphones on again and began working on his issues. He looked at the white board and blurted out, "Proton decay...Proton decay." He said it over and over again. He rested his forehead on the whiteboard and kept on repeating it, "Proton decay...Proton decay!"

Leonard and Penny returned after a long relaxing dinner. Leonard tapped him on the shoulder, "Hey, we're home."

He screamed out, startled by their return and he stared at Leonard. Leonard looked at his empty whiteboard, "Any progress?"

"How could there be with these constant interruptions?" He turned and ran off to his room.

Penny stared at his blank whiteboard, "I love him, but if he's broken, let's not get a new one."

The next morning Leonard came out into the living room ready to leave for work and saw Sheldon, in his spot, still in his robe and PJ's, "What are you doing? It's time to go."

"I'm not going to work today. And would you like to know why?"

Leonard looked to the still blank whiteboard, "You spent the night working on dark matter without a breakthrough, and now you're worried you made a mistake switching fields and you'll sulk all day?"

Sheldon looked up, "Like a big old baby."

Leonard made a dash for the door, "Call me if you need anything."

Sheldon looked around the apartment, "I've been cooped up here too long, I need some fresh air." He opened the door to the apartment and stepped into the hallway. He took a deep breath and let it out, "That's way better." He turned to go back when he heard Penny grunting and moaning in her apartment. He walked over to her door and heard it continuing. He knocked on her door, "Penny, Penny, Penny!" But the grunting continued and not hearing her coming to the door, he rushed in and saw her on her knees doing a lot of strenuous exercises.

She couldn't hear him because she had earbuds in listening to music. She saw him and stopped, yelling up at him, "What?"

"You sounded in distress. I was worried something unpleasant was happening to you. Like a murder, or spontaneous coitus with a stranger, like before you were engaged to Leonard."

She reached over and turned off her music and got up, "NO, I'm just doing this awful workout. I hate it."

"Well, if you hate it, why are you doing it?"

"I don't know, I guess I like that I hate it. It makes me work harder. Shouldn't you be getting ready for work?"

"I'm not going; would you like to know why?"

She turned with a bottle of water in her hand, "Ah, you're sad about not getting anything done, so you're gonna sit around and pout about it?"

He looked at the floor, "Boy, I am not nearly as mysterious as I think I am." He turned and left her apartment. He dressed and took the bus to work. He found Leonard and the other guys in the cafeteria.

Leonard looked up, "I thought you were staying home?"

"You know, I was, but after talking to Penny, I realized something. First, she's trying much harder to stay attractive in this relationship than you are."

Leonard had a large cinnamon roll in front of him. He pushed it away and looked to Sheldon.

"And second, the reason I may not be progressing in my research is I have created too pleasant of an environment for myself. I'm asking all of you something, keep me on my toes. Just throw me off my game. You know, essentially go out of your way to make my life miserable.

Everyone went out of their way on purpose to aggravate him; it was their pleasure seeing what he had done it to them for years.

While Leonard, Raj and Howard were at the apartment playing one of their board games; the ladies were at Penny's apartment drinking wine as always. Penny refilled her glass, "They are having a contest, and whichever sales rep has the best sales for the quarter; he or she gets a trip for two to Hawaii."

Amy gushed, "That would be so romantic for you and Leonard."

Penny sat back and took another gulp of her wine, "Yeah, clearly you haven't seen him on the beach walking around with his metal detector." She rolled her head, once again digging herself a hole when it comes to their relationship.

Amy shook her head, "If I were going to Hawaii, I'd spend all my time at the Keck Observatory. Did you know the telescopes there have better resolution than the Hubble?"

Penny looked at her and replied sarcastically, "Really?" She turned to Bernadette, "You wanna go to Hawaii?"

After several days Sheldon was at wits end. He began to hallucinate things, like seeing an armadillo head on a bus passenger. He walked into the apartment looking like a zombie and Penny and Leonard have had enough of his crazy activities. She guided him to his bedroom and opened the door, "Okay."

Leonard was behind him, "Here we are."

He stopped and turned to Leonard, "Hey, what are you trying to pull? The president of science isn't in here."

Leonard held back a chuckled, "You lie down; he'll be here in a minute."

He was too tired to argue. He nodded, "Okay, I thought you were trying to trick me."

Penny helped him remove his jacket and guided him to the bed, "Now, you just get comfortable." She reached down, removed his shoes and began working on his pants.

He shook his head, "No, no, comfort is the enemy. You know what's comfortable? Slippers, and blankets and panda bears."

Penny got his pants off and lowered his jockey shorts, "I know exactly what will really relax you. How would you like me to give you a nice, soothing blow job? To make it even more relaxing, maybe Leonard can take my pants off and stick his fat cock in me from behind."

She reached down and in one swift move, pulled her sweater over her head. She ran her hands up and down his long legs and within seconds she had him as stiff as a pipe. She stroked him several times and turned to Leonard, "You're okay with this right? I don't want you throwing it back at me later."

He chuckled, "Hell this is hot, especially seeing Sheldon half out of it." He tugged down her stretch pants and found no panties. He lowered his pants and boxers and fisting his cock, he shoved it balls deep into her with one swift move.

Penny grunted as she wasn't quite ready for him to take her, but she recovered quickly and she began bobbing up and down on his cock. She licked up the underside and down the top side. She whispered "Soft Kitty, warm kitty, little ball of fur." She let out a grunt as Leonard began pumping in and out of her like crazy. She let out a gasp when he cupped her tits and began tugging at her erect nipples. She put her hand up to Leonard, "Stop a moment, he fell asleep. First time EVER! I never had a guy fall asleep while I was giving them a blow job. Slip out of me and let's take this to your bedroom."

He pulled up his shorts and pants and watched Penny struggle into her tights. She grabbed her sweater and slipped it back on.

They ended up in the living room; she was devastated that Sheldon fell asleep while she was giving him head.

Leonard scoffed, "SO now you know how it feels."

She rolled her eyes at him, "One time, I doze off while you're down there. What did you expect? You were camped down there for well over an hour. I came so many times, I was drained, isn't that a good thing?"

He shook his head, "Ask yourself that while watching Sheldon fall asleep."

She nodded, "Okay, okay, I get it. Now that you've ruined the evening, I'm going home, early day tomorrow and have to try and win that quarterly contest."

The next evening, Penny had Leonard over for dinner. She began asking him about his day and tried desperately to truly take interest in his work.' While talking about it, he had an epiphany and a new theory sprung up.

He hurried over to talk it over with Sheldon concerning multidimensional super-fluids.

Sheldon was intrigued by his theory and immediately began working on the math. He was up all night and when Leonard woke up, he saw that Sheldon had worked out the math and even wrote a paper on it and had it all ready to post it online to the pre-print server. He had it all ready to go, but didn't want to post it without Leonard's approval. They clicked on the mouse together to post-it.

That evening, the girls were once again gathered in Penny's apartment, drinking wine. Bernadette sat down, "It's movie night, what do you wanna watch?" Amy chuckled, "What happened to that Ape movie you were in, Penny?"

Penny let out a groan, "Oh, God, probably nothing. I think I saw the director twirling a sign outside the Verizon store."

Bernie looked to Amy, "Search for it."

Penny grunted, "What— No, why?"

Bernie scoffed, "Because it would be fun to watch."

She shook her head, No it wouldn't, it would be humiliating."

Bernie grinned back at her, "Well, now we have two reasons."

Amy was doing a search, "They have it!"

"Please, can we watch it?" Penny rolled her eyes, "Fine, but I'm telling you, it's terrible."

Amy started the program, "Have you ever seen it?"

"NO!"

Bernie was jerking her chain, "Maybe it turned out better than you think."

The movie started and over the TV the man yelled, "Bananas, get your fresh bananas!"

Bernadette nearly rolled off the sofa laughing, "Ho, ho, it really didn't."

On the TV was Penny's voice, "Doctor, please help me. I think I might be turning into a killer gorilla."

The doctor replied, "Why do you think you're turning into a killer gorilla and not just a regular gorilla?"

Bernie and Amy were glued to the TV, while Penny sat here pissed off looking at her I-pad.

On the TV Penny replied, "Because regular gorillas are vegetarians and I just bit the fingers off your receptionist."

Bernie and Amy were laughing hysterically.

Penny grabbed for the remote, "Okay, we've seen plenty." She closed off her movie.

Bernie reached out, "No, give me the remote."

Amy scoffed, "Careful, she'll bite your fingers off."

Penny chuckled, "Well, I've been poking around the internet and I think I found something we'll enjoy watching even more."

Amy sat up, "What is it?"

"Just a video of Bernadette in a beauty pageant."

Bernadette was horrified, "What? Okay, I learned my lesson. Making fun of people is wrong."

Amy hopped up and down, "I haven't learned my lesson, play it, play it!"

Penny hopped off her chair and sat down beside Bernie and Amy. She hit play and her I-pad started

Bernie was in a bright pink ruffled gown and she started talking slowly, "Hi, I'm Bernadette Maryann Rostenkowski from Yorba Linda, California."

Penny chuckled, "HA! You look like a talking cupcake."

Bernie continued on the screen, "And you should pick me Miss California Quiznos 1999, because I want to:" She started singing, "Tell you what I want. What I really, really want I'll tell you what I want. What I really, really want, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna! Really, really, really be Miss California Quiznos 1999."

Bernie was so embarrassed and Amy yelled out, "Play it again, play it again!"

Penny put her I-pad down, "How could you not tell us you were in beauty pageants?"

"Because it's embarrassing."

Penny laughed her ass off, "It is, it truly is!"

Bernie tried to take the pressure off, "Yeah, well, Amy writes "Little House on the Prairie" fan fiction about herself and posts it on the Internet."

Penny's eyes went wide and her jaw dropped "NO!"

Amy jumped up and threw her hands in the air, "Why? What did I do?"

"Sorry, I had to get the spotlight off me. And tearing down women is part of my pageant training."

Penny grabbed her I-pad, "Okay, we are reading that right now."

Amy rolled her eyes, "Oh, please don't."

Bernie scoffed, "We got embarrassed tonight, come on."

"But it's personal."

Penny chuckled, "Why? Is it about you and Sheldon?"

Amy immediately got defensive, "NO!"

Penny was hopping up and down, "Oh, my God, it's about her and Sheldon."

"It's not about me and Sheldon. It's about a young woman in the 1800s named Amelia...and the time-traveling physicist named Cooper she falls in love with."

Penny held out her I-pad to Amy, "Oh, please show us?"

Amy was getting upset, "No."

Penny began looking it up, "Uh! You know I'm gonna read it either way."

Amy went for more wine, "Good luck finding it."

Penny scoffed, and typed in her I-pad, "Amelia and the time-trav—"Ah ha, found it!" She sat down and began reading, "It was just past dawn on the prairie and like every morning Amelia prepared to do her chores; except something about this morning felt different."

Bernie was giggling, "Why?" She looked to Amy, "Why did it feel different?"

Penny continued reading, "Maybe it was the first whisper of winter in the air. Or maybe it was the unconscious handsome man with porcelain skin and curious clothing she was about to discover lying in the field. A man who would open her mind to new possibilities and her body to new feelings." She placed the I-pad to her chest and looked to the ceiling.

All of a sudden, both Penny and Bernadette began stamping their feet and screaming and laughing out loud.

Amy sat down and took another gulp of her filled wine glass, "You know, there was a time when I was alone and had no friends. I'm starting to miss that."

Penny continued to read, "Time travel, I don't understand,' said Amelia. Cooper stared at her, "Which word don't you understand, time or travel?"

Bernadette turned to Amy, "Wow, even in your fantasies Sheldon's kind of exhausting."

Amy slammed her glass down on the coffee table, "He's like that in the beginning so she can change him. It's called good writing. And wishful thinking."

Penny continued reading, "It stung Amelia when he spoke to her this way. In her one-room schoolhouse she was always the smartest student regularly besting the boys in her class. But this was no boy in front of her. This was a man." Penny looked up and smiled at Bernadette.

Bernadette took a big sip of her wine, "Okay, here we go!"

Penny continued reading, "Cooper told Amelia about all the strange and incredible things the future would hold, like computers and living past 30. He asked her if she had any questions. All she longed to ask was if his heart was beating as fast as hers, but she was too afraid to hear the answer. So instead she asked if in the future Montana would become a state."

Penny slammed the I-pad down on her lap and she and Bernadette and looked to Amy.

Amy through up her hands, "Hey, in the 1800s that was considered flirting.

Penny skipped towards the end of Amy's story. Bernie was leaning over listening intently as Amy sat back with a scowl on her face. Penny read aloud, "With a heavy heart, Amelia stood before the newly-repaired time machine. She regretted giving Cooper the part he needed"

Bernadette cut in, "Because she wanted him to give her the part she needed." They both laughed out loud.

Amy stood up and reached for Penny's I-pad, "Okay, that's enough."

Penny held it close to her chest, "No, I really wanna know what happens. And Bernadette really, really wants to know what happens."

Amy grabbed it, "You're just making fun of me."

Bernie looked up at her, "No, I was just kidding, I'm sorry and the story's really great."

Penny sat at the edge of her chair, "No, it is. Does he stay? Do they kiss? Does she find out about Montana? Please?"

Amy looks at them both, "Fine."

Penny jumps up and sits in the corner of the sofa. She makes Amy lean back against her and Penny looks over her shoulder.

Bernie takes a seat at the other end of the sofa and listens.

Amy begins reading, "As Cooper prepared to depart, tears filled Amelia's eyes. He took her hand in his and said, 'I can't stay, but I will never forget you." He brushed his fingers against her cheek; then quickly stepped into the machine. 'Please don't go," she whispered, but it was too late. The engine hummed to life.

Bernie was sad, "But they didn't even kiss."

Amy looked back down and continued to read, "She turned away, wiping her eyes. She couldn't bear to watch her one chance at true love disappear forever. Then she felt a strong hand on her shoulder spin her around. It was Cooper. "What about the future, asked Amelia? He looked deeply into her eyes and whispered: 'There is no future without you.' He pulled her in close. She began to tremble all over. She felt his warm breath and they kissed.

Amy's novel suddenly came to life and as she leaned back against Penny, Amelia was in her modest floor length dress. Her long brown hair was in a braid and she was kneeling before the large bathtub, sitting in the middle of her one-room house. In the tub, a naked Cooper sat; bubbles were on the surface hiding him modestly. Amelia's hand was on his back, softly washing him. She leaned in, "Is the water warm enough?"

He looked back to her, "Given the fact that you took the time to build a wood fire, draw the water from the well and heat it, it would be rude to complain. But since you asked, it's a little nippy."

She stood up, "I can fix that." She picked the large kettle from the stove and poured the hot water in the tub." She put the kettle back on the wood burning stove and rolling up her sleeve, she dipped her hand in the tub to feel the water and she came in contact with his raging hard-on. She slowly closed her hand around it and began stroking it."

Penny was getting turned on by the story. Her hand ran down Amy's blouse and deftly unbuttoned it. She pulled it apart and began playing with Amy's heaving tits, "Go on Amy, continue reading." Amy was having a hard time reading, especially when she saw Bernadette slip to the floor before her and as she pushed Amy's skirt up to her waist, she pulled her sopping panties down her legs. She looked up and giggled, "I'm stopping here Amy, unless you continue the story."

Amy groaned out, "This isn't fair."

Penny unhooked her bra and tossed it aside, "Fair, I'll tell you what isn't fair. Last week, at the department store, in the dressing room, you got me so excited and then I'm left hanging, not allowed to return the favor. Look Amy, we're gonna do it now, but only if you continue to read."

Amy licked her parched lips and felt Penny's hands on her shoulders drifting downward and Bernie's hands on her thighs, moving upward. She took a deep breath and continued to read. "Cooper reached out and began unbuttoning Amelia's dress, 'We wouldn't want to get that pretty dress of yours all wet now, would we?' He got it off of her and she stood and quickly removed her frilly undergarments. She looked to him, "What now Cooper?" He took her hand and guided her into the tub making her lean against him."

Amy let out a groan as Bernie was now between her outstretched legs, her mouth plastered to Amy's aching pussy.