Big Bang Theory- Valentine's

(my interpretation of S 9, E 15 "The Valentino Submergence")

(fictional story about fictional characters)

The other three nerds were eating lunch in the Cal Tech cafeteria when Sheldon placed his tray on the table and announced, "if any of you are looking for a fun way to spend Valentine's Day, Amy and I are airing our first ever Live episode of Fun With Flags and you're welcome to join us in the studio as we celebrate that timeless love affair between wind and flapping fabric."

Leonard quickly responded, "you mean the apartment...and sorry but Penny and I have dinner reservations; but any other time...no."

"Yeah...Bernie and I are going to break in the new hot tub...if you know what I mean," Howard slyly informed him."

"Not a clue...and don't care," Sheldon answered, "Raj...."

"Spending the evening with Emily," Raj gloomily answered.

"You don't sound very excited about it," Leonard commented.

"Oh I am," Raj answered, "I guess I'm still wondering if Emily and I are right for each other."

Howard quipped, "does this have anything to do with that chick you had coffee with?"

"Oh you mean the strong sexy angel I can't stop thinking about...who can say," Raj responded.

"You've been talking about breaking up with Emily forever...why don't you just do it already," Howard told him.

Raj explained, "you say it like it's easy...has any of you ever broken up with anybody." Both Leonard and Howard shook their heads in the negative; instead thinking about all the times girls had broken up with them.

Later that evening in Penny and Leonard's apartment, Penny asked Raj, "so you're really going to break up with Emily."

"Yeah, I think so," Raj confirmed, "do you have any advice for me."

"Well, I have broken up with my fair share of guys," Penny began, "I mean, how many times did I break up with just Leonard."

"I stopped counting at four," Leonard offered.

"Well," Penny advised him, "do it at her place so you can leave when you have to; tell the truth; do it quick; and be prepared for tears."

"Oh, I plan on doing a pre-cry before I go over there," Raj volunteered.

"She was talking about Emily," Leonard scoffed.

"No," Penny admitted, "I really wasn't."

When Raj told Emily he didn't want to see her anymore, she yelled: "you're seriously breaking up with me...and you thought right before Valentine's Day was a good time."

"You're right...let's talk again in a few days," he offered, before she physically threw him out of her apartment.

When he tried to call Claire and ask her out for Valentine's Day, she responded, "I'm sorry but I just got back with my boyfriend."

"But I just broke up with my girlfriend," Raj informed her.

"Right before Valentine's Day...what an ass," Claire told him.

Raj immediately went back to Leonard's apartment and cried on Penny's shoulder while Leonard commented, "huh...you were right...tears."

On Valentine's Day at the restaurant with Penny, looking all kinds of delicious and sexy in a skin-tight red dress that showed off her wonderful long legs, Leonard informed her, "sorry the Maitre D' says it will be an hour wait."

Obviously disappointed and upset, Penny asks him, "well what did you say to him...we have a reservation."

"Uhh...thanks and sorry to bother you," Leonard answered, obviously not familiar with the custom of "greasing palms."

"Well can't you slip him some money or something," she offered.

"Does that work...I've never done that before," Leonard said.

"Do people like money...is that what you're asking," Penny quipped.

"Wow that's a lot of attitude...you must be hungry," Leonard answered.

"Is that a smart thing to say on a holiday that's basically national sex night," Penny told him.

"You're right...you're pretty and I'm stupid," Leonard told his wife.

Leonard tries to slip him a twenty, but someone else claims it, so after a half-hour Penny tells Leonard she is going to flirt with the Maitre D'. "I don't know if I'm comfortable with that," he tells her.

"I'm still sleeping with you tonight," she answers.

"See if you can get a table by the window," Leonard suggests. When Penny tries to flirt with the young Maitre D' he ends up calling her ma'am; which is the last straw and the Hofstadter's leave the restaurant. They end up getting take-out burgers and fries from In-N-Out Burger and parking next to a local park. "I know it isn't what we had planned but this isn't so bad is it," he asks.

"Are you kidding, this is friggin' amazing," Penny responds as she crams a burger in her mouth, "I was just hungry and cranky...and it was the first time I've been called ma'am."

"Is that such a big deal," he asks.

"Kind of," Penny informs him, "can you believe when I met you I was twenty-two. It's crazy, where has all the time gone."

"Well you watched The Bachelor a lot," Leonard joked.

"Make jokes," she answers, "but your thirty's are almost over."

"No they're not."

"You're closer to forty that thirty," she responds.

"Ha...ha...you married an old man," Leonard laughs. Seeing the pissed-off look on her face, Leonard suggests, "tell you what...let's do something fun tonight."

"It won't make us any younger," Penny tells him.

"Maybe not," he agrees, "but someday we really will be old and we'll be able to look back on this night and all the fun we had. Let's see...what's young and fun...we could go dancing."

"Are you actually going to dance," Penny asks.

"Of course."

"Yeah...no one wants to see that," she confirms. "How about skinny-dipping at the beach."

As much as he loved seeing her naked, Leonard answered, "it's a really long drive and I don't really like fish nibbling at my business."

Scrolling her phone, Penny suggests, "oh, how about seeing Moulin Rouge...I've heard it's great."

"What time does it start."

"Midnight."

"OK, let's do it," Leonard agrees.

Still scrolling, Penny says, "sorry...sold out." And they both let out a sigh of relief, "thank God." As they finished their fries, Penny heard the unmistakable sound of Leonard's power-seat rolling backward. Seeing the sly look on his face, Penny asks, "what's going on."

Grinning from ear to ear, Leonard turns toward her and wraps his arms around her warm body. "When I'm with you, I feel like a teenager...well, at least the teenagers you see in movies. This is a really secluded location; I'm going to make out with my best girl."

"Yeah...you're only girl...you old charmer," she responds by inching closer and wrapping her arms around him. "That was a very romantic thing to say...I actually DO feel younger." As their lips pressed together and their tongues played tag, they hugged each other more tightly, almost as if they were trying to climb into each others' laps. "Is it just me or is it getting hot in here," Penny spoke out of the corner of her mouth.

"YOU are so hot," Leonard mumbled back, "I am SO lucky to have you in my life." Never breaking their kiss, his hands began to stroke up and down her firm torso, tracing the wonderful curves of her body. His hand landed lower, on her knee, and he rubbed the smooth flesh of her thigh, pushing her dress ever higher. The higher he pushed the tight fabric, the wider Penny was able to spread her legs, inviting him to explore. When he reached her mound he was surprised to discover that she had neglected to wear panties.

"Oh my God...commando," he exclaimed as he massaged her damp labia.

"A little surprise for my Valentine," she giggled, spreading her thighs further. "Mmmm," she moaned as she felt Leonard's finger trace her slit and then slip inside her pussy. She laid her head on his shoulder as he nibbled on her ear lobe, knowing it always drove her crazy. He began to finger fuck his beautiful wife, sliding his digit in and out of her wet hole; then adding a second finger. "Oh my God...you little horn-dog," she exclaimed, "that feels soooo good." When he roughly rubbed her engorged clit with his thumb, Penny's body convulsed and he could feel her fluids soak his hand. "Holy crap Leonard," she groaned, "you are the only one who has ever made me squirt. I know I don't say it often enough; but I am so happy I married you."

"Often enough...ever," Leonard responded, "it sure is nice to hear. I love you Valentine." He withdrew his fingers and slowly sucked them into his mouth, enjoying her taste while Penny began to unbuckle and unbutton his trousers. He raised up enough to shove his pants down to his knees, allowing his erection to spring to life, slapping against the steering wheel.

Penny grasped his pole in her right hand and licked all around his bulbous crown like an ice cream cone. "I love this cock," she told him, "it's perfect." She actually felt that way. It was a full nine inches long and very fat, and she loved the way it felt inside her...perfect. Opening her lips, she began to lower her head, swallowing more and more of his meat. When he bumped the back of her mouth, she simply fed his length down her relaxed throat until her lips were against his scrotum. The muscles in her esophagus began to expand and contract, milking his rod while she breathed through her nose. Fondling his balls, Penny felt Leonard grasp the sides of her head, his fingers extending through her luxurious blond mane. It was just beginning to grow out from when she had cut it short, but it was still full and sexy.

"Holy shit Penny," Leonard moaned, "you are the world's best cocksucker...no make that the best cocksucker in the universe."

"Mank muu," she mumbled, her mouth full of meat. She really was proud of her oral skills and sucked him even deeper down her throat. Feeling him begin to pump his hips upward, she didn't want to waste his load, so she slowly raised her head, letting his dick plop back against his stomach. Seeing the disappointed look on his face, she assured him, "don't worry sweetie...I'm not finished with you just yet." Hiking her dress up to her waist, she threw her right leg over top of his and straddled his lap. Reading her mind, Leonard gripped his penis, pointing it at the roof of the car as Penny lowered her magnificent body until his crown pushed against her slit. Feeling her lips surround his wide head, Penny very slowly lowered her body onto his lap, impaling herself on his thick cock.

Feeling her cunt being stretched inch by inch, Penny leaned back against the steering wheel and moaned, "oh my God I love fucking you."

"I'm pretty fond of it myself," Leonard admitted, "your pussy is so tight...it fits me like the proverbial glove."

Finally sitting flush on his lap, feeling completely filled with his cock, Penny urged, "fuck me baby...fuck your little Penny's cunt." He began to thrust up into her tight hole, bracing his feet against the floorboard and ramming upward. "Oh my God yesssss," she shrieked as she helped by planting her knees on either side of him in the seat and bouncing up and down on his cock. Leonard pawed at her tight dress trying to pull it down at least far enough to free one of her incredible breasts. "Oh baby...try not to rip it...I still might return it," she warned him as she jammed her body down on his pole. He was able to pull the fabric down just far enough to squeeze her left tit over it and began to suck on her gumdrop nipple. "Always the left," she mumbled, leaning back so he could have easier access to her fleshy mound.

Grasping one of her perfectly round ass cheeks in each hand, Leonard pulled her onto him and jammed his cock into her wet hole as hard as he could. "Oh yesss baby...fuck me...fuck me," Penny groaned as they mashed their groins together. "Do it...cum in me...fill my fucking cunt."

"Oh holy shit," Leonard yelled as he began to spurt his load up into her snug pussy, "if we weren't already married...I would propose right now."

"That is your style," she giggled while enjoying the sensation of his stiff prick twitching inside her; her tunnel being flooded with his warm sperm. "Cum in me lover...I want every drop in my pussy." Leonard kept pumping until his balls were empty, and when Penny felt his penis begin to shrivel inside her, she swung her leg over and climbed back into the passenger seat; a long string of cum hanging out of her hole. As they were rearranging their clothes, Penny said, "thanks baby...that did make me feel like a teenager again. You had a great idea."

"Wow...you thanking me for sex," Leonard acted surprised, "that's one for the record books...would you mind saying that again while I record it."

Punching him in the shoulder, Penny again made him feel close to tears, "seriously, there is no one I would rather be with...I am so happy we're married."

The car windows had become so steamed over that they couldn't see out, and they were startled when there was a loud knock on the driver's side window. Opening his window, Leonard heard an authoritative voice order, "OK kids...time to move along." With the window down, they were surprised when a very young police officer stuck his head in and added, "oh sorry sir...ma'am...I though you were kids. They like to park here and...well...you know. Is everything alright?"

"Oh yes officer," Leonard answered, thinking quickly, "we were just eating our takeout and then...well...you know it's Valentine's Day."

"OK then...you have a nice evening," the officer told them as he was walking away.

"Now I'm bummed again," Penny complained, "did you hear him...sir and ma'am. He didn't even try to get a better look at my legs."

"Well then he's an idiot," Leonard assured her, "because you have the best pair of legs on the planet."

"Just the planet," Penny tried to joke even though she was becoming more depressed.

"The universe,"' he confirmed, "listen, let's go home and I am going to kiss every inch of those incredible legs."

Back in 4A, Sheldon had become completely exasperated because their Live episode of Fun With Flags had been ruined by Raj and Barry Kripke, who kept calling in and complaining about their lack of a love life. Raj had finally told Kripke, "why don't you join me down at the comic book store. Every Valentine's Day Stuart has a party for the single people...it's marginally less depressing than being alone."

When Leonard and Penny returned to 4B, they decided to change into comfy clothes and Penny knew just what she would wear. She had purchased a hot pink, totally transparent lacy Baby Doll just for Valentine's Day and couldn't wait to see Leonard's reaction when he saw her in it. Wearing just the flimsiest of tiny thongs under it, her large elliptical areola were completely visible and her gumdrop nipples protruded noticeably. The nightie was so short that whenever she moved, the bottoms of her cheeks peaked teasingly out. She covered it with a short terry cloth robe, so she could have a formal unveiling and get his reaction.

Leonard threw on an Iron Man t-shirt and a pair of boxers and they met at the sofa. When Penny ceremoniously removed her robe, she thought Leonard was going to have an asthma attack. "Oh...my...God," he shouted, "you are SO hot. I have had wet dreams that weren't as hot as you are right now." Her long, slender legs seemed to be endlessly long and he couldn't keep his eyes off her.

"I'll take that as a compliment; I'm feeling young again," she blushed as they hugged each other tightly. "I have an idea...let's do body shots." Retrieving a bottle of tequila from the makeshift bar, she let Leonard gather up the salt shaker and slice a couple of limes. Leonard started off by licking her toes, sprinkling salt on them and then licking it off before downing a shot. Penny loved to lick his neck for the salt and then they shared a lime wedge. After several shots of tequila, they relaxed back on the sofa and watched the room spin around them.

"I know you had a struggle with feeling older tonight," Leonard began, "but when you think about it...we're pretty lucky...we have each other."

"You are so right, my little Ewok," she agreed, "I was just thinking about Raj being alone tonight...what would you say to inviting him over for a couple hours."

"You are so thoughtful...it's probably the tequila talking...but sure...as long as he doesn't stay too long. I still have a lot of leg to kiss," Leonard agreed reluctantly. He called Raj on his cell and reached him at the comic book store: "yeah, Raj. We felt bad about you being alone on Valentine's Day...well actually it was Penny who felt bad. Why don't you come over and we can have a little party...bring some snacks. You're at the comic book store...yeah I guess you can bring Stuart and Kripke...see ya in a few."

"Stuart...and Barry Kripke," Penny exclaimed, "now who's letting the tequila do the talking."

If Leonard had not been so inebriated, he never would have agreed to all three of them barging in, but he knew that the Maitre D' and the cop had really bummed Penny out and the guaranteed way to snap her out of her funk was to be surrounded by men who would surely fawn all over her and make her feel like a princess again. Penny threw on her robe without cinching the belt, which left her legs fully exposed and eligible for compliments, while Leonard pulled on a pair of sweatpants. While they waited, Leonard convinced her to pose so he could take a few seductive photos with his cell phone. It didn't take much convincing because the combination of the Victoria's Secret lingerie and tequila made her feel sexy and like an exhibitionist.

Slipping the robe down her smooth shoulders, she gave him a sensuous look with a sexy pout. She sat on the couch with her legs apart so that he could see the tiny thong disappearing up her slit, and bending forward so that her generous cleavage was displayed. "Oh my God you are so sexy," he assured her as she lay back, highlighting her incredible long legs.

"I am so horny," she told him, "I want you in me right now...do we have time before they get here." Before he could answer, there was a knock on the door and they could hear a commotion on the other side. "Damn," they both said together, and then giggled.

Opening the door, Leonard stepped aside to let Raj, Stuart and Kripke into the room. They were laden down with bags, and Raj told them, "we stopped at Costco and picked up a few things." When they dumped them out on the kitchen counter Leonard saw various bags of chips, pretzels and a couple bottles of tequila. "We had to take a cab because SOMEBODY spiked the punch at the comic book store," Raj informed them, staring at Stuart.

"Hey business is slow," Stuart admitted, "I'll try anything to loosen up those wallets. Hi Penny."

"Hi Stuart...glad you could come," Penny greeted them; "hi Raj...Barry."

"Heh-woe Penny," Kripke whistled, staring at her open robe and the wonderful cleavage exposed. He kind of made her skin crawl, but she was so drunk that she nearly blushed at his leer.

"Wow Penny...you look great...Happy Valentine's Day," Raj addressed her as she kissed him on the cheek. Leonard noticed that she didn't even attempt to close her robe and knew that the obvious flattery was the right medicine for her funk.

"Yeah Penny," Stuart boldly agreed, "you look even better than my posters down at the store." Penny beamed at another compliment...even from Stuart, whose pale complexion always reminded her of raw chicken.

"Hey Whenard," Barry asked, "do you have any moe shot gwasses."

Leonard wanted to joke, "are you kidding...this is Penny's apartment," but he didn't want to spoil her good mood with a bad joke, so he just retrieved some glasses, while emptying some snacks into bowls. They sat around drinking shots, eating junk, and flipping thru channels on the TV while every male eye was basically glued to Penny's every move, trying to get a glimpse of her barely covered treasures. At one point Leonard even brought out his laptop and they turned on Fun With Flags.