Big in Japan Ch. 02

"Better than I expected." Griswold conceded. "Not bad at all, so far."

"Okay, then," Teresa said, bringing out her last bottle. "Time for the real deal. Ardbeg 10!"

"Yay!" I said enthusiastically. "My favorite. This stuff is awesome!"

The Sheriff took my words a little too literally. He brought the glass right up to his nose and sniffed hard. "Aaugh!" he gasped, his head snapping up and back. "Good Lord! That is nothing like anything I've ever smelled or tasted before. Is this really Scotch?:

"True Scotch, if you ask me, sir." I said. Teresa nodded vigorously in agreement.

"My God." muttered the Sheriff. "I just got bombed with that smoky, earthy smell. And yeah, a medicinal note. Cheers!" He took a sip, made a face, then took another.

"It's like chewing on a campfire." the Sheriff said. Then he took another taste. "Hmmm, now I'm starting to get the sweeter, floral notes, but that peat flavor just sticks to my tongue..." He sipped some more. "Long finish, but peaty all the way."

"Keep drinking that dram, sir." I said. "The other notes will come out."

As he sipped the rest of his dram, the Sheriff said "This would be good right after a barbeque, or a good steak cooked on an outdoor grill."

Teresa said "I have a bottle of The Dalmore Cigar Malt that I haven't opened yet. It's supposed to be great with a cigar, but Lord God is it expensive!"

"Which do you like the best, Sheriff?" I asked the Sheriff.

"The stuff in that blue bottle." Griswold growled in reply. I took the bottle and handed it to him.

"It's all yours, sir." I said. To Teresa I said "I'll buy you another bottle, when I buy myself one."

"That's okay." said Teresa. "That one's on me."

"Okay, the ball game is about to start." I said. "Let's watch some TV..."

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Edward and Stephanie Steele had brought Marie over. Stephanie talked with Laura, Paulina, Tasha, and Molly on the back deck... well, Tasha was herding cats, literally. Meanwhile, Edward joined me, the Sheriff, Teresa, Carole, Marie, Jim, Ross, Ian, and our canine supervisors in front of the television monitor in the front room.

Carole and Marie were properly attired in their Wildcats jerseys, while Ian was apparently attempting to get 'attention' by wearing an orange shirt, darker than Tennessee orange, but still orange.

"Daddy," Carole snitched, "Ian is wearing the enemy's colors."

"I know, Fussbudget." I said. "All I can say is that I'd 'bett not' see him wearing that orange shirt again, unless it's St. Patrick's Day."

"And when Auburn is playing." Teresa said. "Then you can wear it while we watch Auburn beat Georgia and Alabama." Ian and Teresa fist-bumped.

The national television audience was being told what to think by the same announcers that had done a previous Wildcats-Bulldogs game. I had despised the color analyst during that game. I despised him more when he started this one:

"The Wildcats have lost big chunks of their offensive power to the pros after being humiliated by Alabama in the natty last year." the color analyst said tauntingly. "They're having to rebuild, and their first test is a seasoned Tennessee team that is used to playing much bigger games in the SEC."

"And getting their asses beat by those teams." Teresa remarked. Then she realized the kids were in the room, and said "Oh. Sorry, kids. Don't talk the way I do."

Idiot Color Analyst: "Tennessee has a quarterback that is expected to contend for the Heisman Trophy this year, while the Wildcats are starting true Freshman Mason Murphy. He's a five-star recruit, but many experts say he's not ready for prime-time, especially against SEC competition."

Idiot Color Analyst: "And Heisman Trophy winners Jamaal Washington and Clarence Appletree are being replaced by Freshmen. Zamir 'Zeus' Black is the Freshman tailback, and D'Andre 'Chubby' Cedarwood is a big back that will be spending some time as a fullback. The Wildcats best receiving hope against the formidable Tennessee cornerbacks is Darnell Pitts, a tight end that has good speed and can run good routes."

"And Tennessee gets the ball to start." said the announcer. It's at the 25 yard line. The quarterback throws to the right side AND IT IS INTERCEPTED!"

"What a poor choice to throw that." said the color analyst. "He should know better than to do that."

"If he hadn't have been diving for the ball," said the announcer, "that would've been a pick-six. The Wildcats are up to the line, they hand the ball off AND THERE GOES CEDARWOOD! Right up the gut, 28 yards for the touchdown!"

Idiot Color Analyst: "The Tennessee front seven is going to have to play much stouter than that. I'm not sure what they were expecting, but they acted like they just weren't even ready..."

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"And that'll do it." said the announcer. "The clock is winding down, and the Wildcats douse Coach Erskine Marshall with Gatorade. The Wildcats have come into Neyland Stadium and upset the Tennessee Volunteers thirty-eight to nothing, Tennessee's worst loss at home since Georgia shellacked them 41-0 a couple of seasons ago."

Idiot Color Analyst: "Tennessee just did not look like they were prepared to play today, on either side of the ball. There will be calls for the head coach to explain what has happened here today..."

"I'll tell you what happened, Mr. Idiot, Biased Color Analyst." I said to the television. "The Wildcats didn't rebuild, they reloaded. And they beat the crap out of an SEC team that is not going to meet the standard, if I don't miss my guess."

"And you never do." said Teresa. "I was hoping Tennessee would be able to compete with the Enemy (Alabama) this year, but they're not going to beat Vanderbilt with that team and that coaching..."

Part 11 - Labor Day Labors

"This is Bettina Wurtzburg, KXTC Channel Two News!" shouted the redheaded MILF reporterette at 7:00am, Monday, September 7th, from MLK Jr. Park on the southside of Town. "As we celebrate the working men and women during Labor Day, candidate for Lieutenant Governor Corey Coons is coming to our County for a political rally!"

Bettina happily began: "State Senator Coons will be appearing at a rally at MLK Park with candidate for Mayor Eldrick X. Weaver, who many say was robbed of his rightful win in the last Mayoral race. Senator Coons and Mr. Weaver are expected to highlight the ridiculous criminal prosecution of Breonna Bryant for simply peacefully protesting Police brutality against People of Color."

Bettina: "Also appearing at the rally will be Bruce Finneran, candidate for the Inspector General's Office, who has been strongly endorsed by KXTC Channel Two News. Mr. Finneran's campaign has focused on homophobia and the abuse of the LGBTQ Community at the hands of White Nationalists and the TCPD."

Bettina: "Meanwhile, the person who many say stole the Mayoral election from its rightful winner will be holding a rally of extremist Conservatives at The Fairgrounds. Daniel Allgood will be spewing his message of White Nationalist hate as he reiterates his support of the abusive tactics of the TCPD. As of this time, no other Republicans have agreed to share the platform with Allgood."

Bettina: "And the Town & County Police have no answers in the case of a man found murdered early Saturday morning in the Kensington subdivision of Town. The deceased has been identified as 'Easton Windham', and sources tell Channel Two News that he was once married to now-TCPD Lieutenant Commander Teresa Croyle. Neither the TCPD nor Commander Donald Troy responded to repeated request for comment by KXTC Channel Two News..."

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"Is it even possible for Bettina to be more corrupt in her reporting?" Lt. Commander Teresa Croyle said as she and I drank coffee with Sheriff Antonio Griswold, Chief Sean Moynahan, Commander Cindy Ross, and Assistant District Attorney Paulina Patterson in the Chief's Conference Room.

''She's definitely lying about no one appearing with Daniel." growled Sheriff Griswold. "Katina Jones is going to be there, as is Curly Goodwin, who is running for I.G. against that pedophile Finneran. J.P. Goldman may show up, as well."

"What about Bill Redmond?" Cindy asked. "He is way behind Kelly Carnes in the polls, according to Priya Ajmani."

"He was invited to show up, but never responded." growled the Sheriff. "The Allgood Campaign called his Campaign and said they'd love to have him say a few words, but Redmond's Campaign said they were going to make other appearances. But to my knowledge, there are no other rallies of any significance... except the Democrat rally at MLK Park."

"I wonder if Katina's presence is the reason Redmond declined to be there." I said. No one replied.

"My question is..." said Paulina, "how did Bettina know about Easton Windham being Teresa's ex-husband? That has not been in any public documents such as the Police reports and logs."

Teresa said "I suspect the Green Crowbar gave Priya that, in exchange for juicy tidbits of information." My eyes widened at that accusation, even if delivered cattily.

"Say that to me again," Cindy said, "and you better be carrying a crowbar to defend yourself." The green crowbar was being waved in Teresa's general direction as that was said.

"I'm just kidding, of course." Teresa said. "And Priya plays on KFXU's team, not KXTC's. But Paulina is right... that information has not been made public. Should we start checking for bugs again?"

I replied: "I think the 'Easy Button' answer is that it was a planted leak at the Federal level." I heard slight gasps in the room.

"You don't think Muscone or any of his team leaked it... do you?" asked the Chief, his voice just the slightest bit shaky.

I replied: "No, I don't think Jack Muscone leaked it, nor Karina White nor Eduardo Escobar... nor Tim Jenkins. But I'll reserve judgement on the rest of them. And there are other possibilities: if I don't miss my guess------"

"And you never do!" said a chorus. I Just drove right on.

"Then we'll be hearing some new and shocking news soon." I continued. "Like... the FBI OPR opening an investigation on Jack Muscone, ostensibly for his mishandling of the Archie Brody case. But that will be a front, a smokescreen... for a deeper investigation of him by the Swamp Frogs and their useful idiot, Martin Nash."

"Speaking of the Windham murrrrr-derrrrr," said Chief Moynahan, "do we have any new information on that?"

I said "Martha is not releasing the official autopsy report until 8:00am tomorrow morning. She also wouldn't give me... me!... a sneak preview. She said she's deciding if she wants to call for a Coroner's Inquest, and the Coroner would then decide if he wants to do that."

"What are the issss-uuuuuues?" asked the Chief.

"The intent." I replied. "We know Easton was tortured, but as I observed before, if they were trying to get information from him, they went about it in a poor way. Ergo, they just decided to cause the man some serious pain before he bled out and died. And that begats the question of whether it was payback of some kind, or a warning to others."

I continued: "And that's legally important because this is a murder in our jurisdiction, but there's a Federal case involving Windham, and they may push to get jurisdiction of it."

"And where are you on them taking it from us, Crowbar?" growled the Sheriff.

"As always, I prefer to have control of cases in our jurisdiction, especially when it's a State vs. Feds issue." I replied. "But if the Feds do take it, I won't argue about it. I will just wash my hands of it, and I will not be giving the Feds much assistance... if any at all..."

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

9:15am, Monday, September 7th. Bettina Wurtzburg and her camera crew came up Fairgrounds Street, the small road that led from Riverside Drive to The Fairgrounds, going past the Crime Lab building and Police HQ parking lot on the right, and the newly built EMS Headquarters on the left. At the end of the street, sawhorse barricades manned by TCPD Officers blocked the entrance to the Fairgrounds. They were only permitting vehicles and people with permits through.

"You got any weapons in there?" asked Lieutenant Rudistan loudly when Bettina came up and demanded entrance to the Fairgrounds.

"Yes." Bettina said. "The most dangerous weapon of all... news cameras and journalists, exposing the truth of your Police Commander's corruption!"

"Take her at her word." Rudistan said jovially. "Search the vehicle."

"What?!" Bettina exploded. "You can't search us without a warrant!"

"Ma'am," said Rudistan jovially and politely, but with an underlying current of menace in his voice, "you just said you have weapons in this van. By State Law, weapons are not permitted at political rallies, unless being carried by Police Officers you are trying your hardest to defund. Your admission just gave us the right to search your vehicle."

"That was obviously a joke." Bettina yelled. "And I say now that you cannot search our vehicle without a warrant!"

"What is going on here?" yelled a woman's voice. State Senator Katherine Woodburn's black Escalade had been following the KXTC News van. Now she was walking briskly up the road to the barricade.

"Your reporter just admitted she had weapons in her van." said Rudistan. "We have it on videotape from our Officer-cams. So either we search the van, or it is denied entrance to this rally."

"That is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard!" Katherine Woodburn almost screamed. "I'll have your badge for this, you asshole!"

"Yeah, right." said a voice behind her. She whirled around to see the Iron Crowbar walking up, the red crowbar in my hand. "You'll have to go through me to get his badge, Senator. And all the Senate's horse's asses and the Senate's women can't do that."

I looked at Rudistan and said "Traffic's backing up. Search that van! Thoroughly!" I then looked back at Katherine Woodburn. "By the way," I said to her, "are there any weapons in your vehicle, Senator?"

"My security men have licenses to carry arms as part of their duties." Katherine said as Rudistan and three other Officers began meticulously searching Bettina's van, possibly throwing a lot of things all over the van floor. "And yes, they are carrying weapons. Got a problem with that, Commander?"

"Why no." I said. "We have weapons, too." I then lowered my voice and said: "And if your security men so much as touch their weapons, they'll be shot dead before they know what hit 'em. I'll shoot them myself, personally?"

"You probably really would." Katherine Woodburn said scornfully.

"And why are you here, Senator?" I asked witheringly in reply. "The Democrat rally is at MLK Park."

"Oh, this one is going to be so much more fun, don't you agree?" Katherine replied enigmatically.

"No weapons in the van, Commander." said Rudistan as they finished their search.

"Let 'em through." I said. "Keep an eye on 'em at all times."

Katherine said to me "Commander, you really should consider that since I bought back KXTC, it has gotten much better, and more fair. So you should consider giving them credit, and treating them more fairly."

"Oh really?" I said, my voice dripping with sarcasm. Literally... I almost drooled down my chin.

"Why, yes." Katherine said. "Treat us fairly, and we'll do the same for you. My promise, as the owner. And you should be grateful that I'm trying to meet you halfway."

Something like a whimper came out of my mouth, then I said "So let me get this straight. You want me to forget that a reporter kidnapped one of my children and put her in a room full of explosives with the intent of watching me watching her die?" (Author's note: 'Teresa's Christmas Finale', Ch. 01-02.)

I said "And then I'm supposed to forget that your KXTC reporter Lester Holder, constantly called my other daughter racist terms, and exhorted others to physically harm her?" (Author's note: Choose your reference story from among the many. Penis Holder died in 'Consequences', Ch. 04.)

I went on: "Your station has done everything it can to get me and my family harmed both physically and in the Court of Public Opinion. And just this morning, Bettina continued her often-said remark that I did not return repeated calls for comment. Well, fucking 'duh!'."

"Oh, does that bother you?" Katherine said with a malicious gleam in her eye, thinking she was getting something to use agains me.

"No, doesn't bother me at all." I said. "I just bring it up as an example of your network's continued dishonesty and corruption. And Bettina looks like an idiot every time she says it; people know what's going on and see right through her. It makes your station look weak and petty at best... which is why her ratings are so low she has to reach up to touch bottom."

"Now who's using hyperbole?" Katherine said, her voice a sneer.

"The bottom line, Woodburn," I said with as much disrespect that I could put into my voice, "is that in spite of your 'fake news' claims, I see NO let-up in the Media's dishonesty and partisanship. So no, your expectation of my gratitude is misplaced at best, and downright insulting."

"Okay, then." Katherine said. She went back to her Escalade, got into the back seat, and was driven through the barrier into The Fairgrounds..."

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

As Bettina and her crew set up in the designated Press Pool area, and began putting everything back up in the van after the Police trashed it, she looked around.

"Where are all the cops?" she asked "Where's the security contingent? Where are the Imperial Stormtroopers?"

"Problem, Bettina?" asked Deputy Chief Cindy Ross as she walked up, wearing her light blue Police shirt and standard Police armor over it. With her was Corporal Hicks, as her bodyguard at Your Iron Crowbar's direction and insistence.

"Isn't there going to be any security here?" Bettina all but wailed. "What if someone tries to kill Allgood? What if protesters show up?"

"But won't they be 'peaceful' protesters?" Cindy said cattily. "After all, you keep telling us over and over on TV that they're 'peaceful'."

"Oh, go fuck yourself, Dyke." Bettina snarled. Her insult did not go unnoticed.

"I just have two questions, Bettina." Cindy said. "You do realize that green crowbar beatdowns hurt just as badly as red ones, don't you?"

"Is that a threat?" Bettina growled.

"It's a lead-in to the second question." Cindy said. She lowered her voice and said "What makes you think I won't kill you just as readily, if not more readily, than the Iron Crowbar will?"

"That's definitely a threat." Bettina said.

"And exactly what are you going to do about it?" Cindy growled. "You think you can call me names to my face, then get on TV and lie constantly for the sake of your race-hatred agenda... and I'll just sit here and take it? Better be sure, Bettina. Better be sure."

Bettina was about to reply, but Cindy was already walking off, with Hicks following. Bettina turned to her sound man and said "Did you get any of that?"


"No ma'am." said the sound man. "A whole bunch of static started up when that dyke walked up to you..."

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

A group of young people with red 'Antifa' shirts, about 100 strong, were marching up Fairgrounds Street. When the agitators were seen, armed and armored Police swarmed to the entrance.

"We demand access to the Fairgrounds!" a man yelled when they were stopped at the checkpoint. "We demand our right to peaceably assemble!"

"Not while you're wearing those red jerseys with that hatred group's logo." I yelled back. "Who is your leader? Let your leader come forward!"

I didn't really expect an answer, but a moment later Dr. Lionel Carmela strode up, with four large, muscular black men as his protection. He was not wearing an Antifa shirt, but I told my Officers to take photos of him with the Antifa thugs.