Big Love Samoa Ch. 01

At one point, Helen stood up to go to the bathroom and she stumbled briefly. "You aren't trying to get me drunk on purpose, are you?" she said.

"I thought it might help you sleep," I said. "Otherwise, you might stay on Australian time all night."

"Good idea," she said. "I think I might have a shower."

I waiting until after she had been in the shower about five minutes before I made my move. After stripping off all my clothes in the bedroom, I let myself into the bathroom and stepping into the shower.

"Hello," said Helen as she looked down at my erection. "I think I know what you want." She didn't look upset with this realisation.

I started by standing behind her, allowing her to retain the benefit of the warm water. I ran my hands over her body, particularly playing with her large breasts, before running my hands down to her pubic mound, luxuriating in the smoothness of her skin. Her clit was easy to find, and I gave it some attention. She moaned appreciative. "I love how this feels," I said. "I want a closer look."

I crouched down, and Helen obliged me by turning to face me. She even spread her legs a bit to give me a better view of her hairless vulva. "You can thank Kat," she said. "I always seem to get naughtier when we spend too much time together."

"I'll send her a thank-you card," I said. "Dear Katerina. I would like to sincerely thank you for the significant reduction in the volume of pubic hair in the region of my wife's pussy. Yours sincerely, Finnian Doyle."

Helen laughed. "Don't you dare!"

Having enjoyed my viewing, I stood up again and resumed my previous position standing behind her, with one hand playing with her pussy as the other hand played with her boobs. She reached one hand behind her to stroke my erection, but it was just to keep me primed rather than distract me. She had never found that actual sex in the shower had ever gotten her off, so she was keen for my fingers to continue what they were doing until she climaxed. As she approached her orgasm, I stopped playing with her nipples and used that arm to wrap around her waist in anticipation of her legs becoming unreliable. She moved both her hands to the walls to support her as she climaxed standing up.

As her orgasm subsided, Helen surprised me to crouching down and taking my erection into her mouth. She isn't a big fan of giving blowjobs, so I am always delighted when she does. In the circumstances there was no point in delaying the inevitable. She sensed my impending release and switched to just pumping me with her hands. However, she made no effort to move out of the way. Instead, she actually opened her mouth and stuck out her tongue, accepting gracefully the emissions that went inside as the majority of my seed covered her face and chest. I know that the taste is part of the reason for her reluctance, but she obligingly swallowed and then went the extra mile by taking my penis into her mouth again and licking it clean before standing up and giving me a hug.

Although it was still relatively early, we both climbed into bed as soon as we had dried ourselves. Despite the alcohol, Helen wasn't at all sleepy. Instead, the alcohol made her talkative, and I could tell that some of her inhibitions were lowered. I took the opportunity to explore the origins of the sexy lingerie and the shaved pussy. "So, how exactly did Kat contribute to the shaving? She didn't shave you herself, did she?"

"No!" laughed Helen. "We're not that close. But it was her idea. She was the one who persuaded me to buy those panties, and it was only after I'd paid for them she pointed out that they would look stupid unless I got rid of my bush."

"So, she persuaded you to buy them? Somehow, I don't think you got them at a normal department store."

"No," replied Helen. "After our swim last night, we went for Chinese down the street from the hotel. There was a sex shop next door advertising a sale, and Kat said she wanted to buy a vibrator. She said she'd worn out her current one through overuse." This was certainly the kind of thing that Helen wouldn't have told me if she was sober. "When we went inside it turned out that it was mostly lingerie on sale, and she kept on picking things off the rack and saying how much you would like them. Judging by your reaction today, I'd say she seems to know your opinions pretty well."

"Still, you can't blame her for not realising that your bush would be visible."

"I can! I let her come into the changing room."

"Really?"

"Yes, so I think there's enough proof that tricked me. I wanted her to show me her vibrator when we got back to our room, and she said that she wouldn't let me see it unless I put on my new lingerie. It was all part of her plan, to find some excuse after I'd already paid. She kept saying I was being mean to you if I never shaved it off at least once in my life."

"Well, I do like it," I said. "But I don't think that's proof that Kat is reading my mind. Any man would have loved to see what you showed me today."

++++++++++++++++++

Plans for the trip to Samoa came together over the following weeks. Helen received an email from Hilda on Sunday night saying that her husband had agreed for us to stay with him. On Monday morning I spoke with my boss. As I had predicted he was initially unhappy, but he became very supportive of the idea when I explained the circumstances. He hates religious sexism more than any other kind, so he was happy to agree to anything if it meant that it wouldn't harm Helen's career.

Helen kept in frequent email contact with Hilda as she went about the process of arranging university funding and booking travel. Apart from signing the occasional document that Helen put in front of me, I didn't pay much attention to the details. Helen even started packing for me since I was so busy at work, trying to achieve as much as possible so that Cliff wouldn't regret giving me the time off.

On the Friday night, a week before we were due to go, Helen and I went out to dinner with Katerina on Friday night. It was going to be Kat's 24th birthday on the following day, but we wouldn't see her then because she was leaving early to spend the weekend with her family in Te Awamutu. Kat caught an Uber to our apartment and we walked from there to the restaurant. Helen waited until we had gotten our drinks and ordered our meals before she pulled out Kat's birthday present, which turned out to be a gold ring with a thin line of diamonds around it. "This is from both of us," she said.

Kat didn't seem surprised by the gift, which made me wonder if Helen and Kat had previously discussed gift ideas. Kat seemed very happy with it, giving both of us a big smile and a thank you as she slipped it on the ring finger of her left hand. The choice of finger puzzled me. "That makes it look as if we just proposed to you," I said.

Kat looked at Helen, who in turn looked at me. All of a sudden, she looked very serious. "Um, Finn, there's a reason for the ring that we need to talk to you about."

"Why? What is it?"

"Do you remember when I went to that conference where I first met Hilda and I said that her island belonged to an American religious group? Well, they are Mormon fundamentalists."

I felt my stomach turn. Suddenly I was feeling very uncomfortable. Naturally, I was picturing the guys with the suits and the bicycles. Even though we lived in an apartment building, they always seemed to find a way to get inside the building and knock on the door of each apartment. I couldn't imagine anything worse than having to live with them. Still, I knew this was important to Helen and her career, so I tried to remain as positive as possible. I tried to show a bit of humour. "What makes them fundamentalist? Do they wear tuxedos instead of suits?"

Helen was biting her bottom lip nervously. "No, they're fundamentalist like on Big Love. You know, the TV show."

A woman Helen worked with at the university had lent us the box set of the first season of Big Love, an HBO TV series from 2006. It was about a polygamist, played by Bill Paxton, who seemed to be having endless sex with his three wives, who were played by Jeanne Tripplehorn, Chloe Sevigny and Ginnifer Goodwin. It had been really sexy to begin with, not least because of the nudity, but in the end, I was feeling sorry for the guy because his life was just one big drama after another.

"So, are you saying they're polygamists?" I asked.

"Yes," said Helen. "Hilda is the third of three wives. But don't worry, she says that they're not actually very religious. Their farm is at the furthest point on the island from the church, and they use that as an excuse to avoid going more than once a month. Hilda says that none of them are likely to bother trying to convert us or anything."

Despite Helen's reassuring words, I could see from her and Kat's faces that there was still some further bad news to come. "Is there anything more I need to know?" I asked.

Helen took a deep breath. "When we first met with Hilda and she was saying that she wished that it was possible for us to visit, I just assumed she was talking about how far away it was and how expensive it would be. So I started telling her that there was a good chance I could get some funding to pay for the travel. That's when she started telling us about the island. Things got a bit awkward, there were more than a few misunderstandings, and I'm afraid that she got the impression that the three of us were in a polygamist relationship too."

"How on earth could that happen?" I asked.

Helen seemed at a loss for words. It was Kat who answered. "It's because Helen straight out lied to her. I think she would have said anything to get Hilda to invite us." I could see from the smile on Kat's face that she was starting to find some amusement at Helen's discomfort and my bewilderment.

"So, are you saying that we have to pretend to be Mormons? That's a pretty huge thing to tell me only a week before we go. When am I going to find the time to do the research on that?"

"We don't have to pretend we're Mormons," said Kat, taking control of the conversation. "Helen made it clear that we weren't religious. All she said was that we were living together as a threesome, as close to polygamy as you can legally get. Helen's your legal wife and I'm your very much unofficial second wife."

"Good grief," I said. "Are there any other wives I need to know about?"

"I would have thought two were enough," said Helen, finding her voice again. "There's no need to be greedy."

"I was just hoping you hadn't gone overboard," I replied. "This is going to be difficult enough as it is. We're going to have to come up with a plausible back story or else they're going to see right through this. Did you realise that?"

It turned out that they had already spent a lot of time considering the back story. I was glad to hear they had been sensible enough to keep the lies as close to the truth as possible. Therefore, the story of my relationship with Helen would remain as is. In terms of Kat, the story would be that she started renting our spare room when she started her masters degree. From there, we had all realised that there was a lot of chemistry between us, and one thing led to another.

In my opinion, 'chemistry' and 'one thing led to another' was far from adequate. They had assumed that, since our hosts were polygamists, they would just treat this as normal and not get suspicious. I argued that this would make them more curious to hear our story and less likely to be shy about asking. I figured they would quickly become suspicious if our story didn't add up. Helen and Kat looked discouraged, but they started discussing different possible scenarios that they hoped would seem plausible. I could see that Kat was blushing and struggling to contribute, and I was struggling too. After all, we were trying to invent a story of becoming sexual partners.

Not surprisingly in the circumstances, it was Helen who came up with the story that we eventually settled on. Her addition to the original scenario was a story that was obviously inspired by our birthday celebration for Kat. In this story, which happens while Kat is living with us, she has a boyfriend who broke up with her a few days before her birthday. As a consequence, after we all had a few too many to drink, Helen had allowed Kat to borrow me for the night. The following day, according to Helen's telling of the story, we had discovered that it wasn't the disaster we might have expected, leading to it being repeated again and again.

To be honest, this story didn't seem particularly plausible, but it wasn't too bad. I knew it wouldn't sound like a noble or worthy reason, but that wasn't actually important. It's not like we were expected to come up with a moral or religious justification. If we sounded embarrassed talking about it, then that could help confirm its authenticity. I looked at Kat, trying to read her reaction to what Helen was saying. She seemed to be avoiding meeting my gaze.

"So, are we all on the same page now?" I asked.

"I think the story is ok," said Helen. "We've got a few more things to do to get ready, but let's pay the bill and head home first."

+++++++++++++

I discovered what Helen was talking about as soon as we stepped outside the restaurant. As we started walking home, I naturally took her hand in mine.

"How about you hold Kat's hand too," said Helen.

"Eh?"

"You and Kat need to practice acting like a couple. Hold her hand."

I looked at Kat. She looked just as awkward as I was feeling. "I don't know," I said. "Aren't you always saying your students are everywhere? What if someone sees?"

Helen thought about this. "Ok, how about this then?" She let go of my hand and looped her hand around my arm. Kat did the same on the other side. In my mind this didn't seem as improper. After all, people walked like this all the time in period dramas. Feeling like the hero in a Jane Austen novel, I started walking us home.

After walking one block, we reached a point where we had the option of a shortcut through a park. Helen said she wanted to walk through the park, so I stopped at the narrow gate for the two of them to go through ahead of me. Once we were inside the park, Helen decided she wasn't happy about something. "Wait here Kat," she said. "I want to walk back out to the street with Finn."

I walked Helen back out to the street, and then back into the park again. "Why didn't you do that before?" she asked. I had no idea what she was talking about. Helen pointed out that when it was just the two of us, I had guided her through the gate ahead of me with my hand on the small of her back. "That's just the kind of thing that will make all the difference," she said. "Let's try that again with both of us."

I walked through the gate with both women again, this time taking care to steer them both ahead of me with a hand on their backs. Then, because the park was largely deserted, I allowed them to each hold one of my hands. Both of them gave my hand a few reassuring squeezes to let me know they weren't uncomfortable with what was happening.

When we reached our building, I continued to focus on the way I behaved as we made our way inside, taking note of the little touches I made with Helen and trying to replicate them with Kat as well. Once we were inside our apartment, Helen pulled out our bottle of gin. "Right, I think it's time to practice kissing," she said.

"Eh? It sounded like you said we were going to practice kissing."

"We are," said Helen. "Well, I probably don't need to practice unless you want me to, but you and Kat need to get comfortable with kissing each other, otherwise they'll know for sure we are faking it."

I looked awkwardly at Kat. "I don't know about this," I said.

"Just treat it like you are rehearsing for a play," encouraged Helen.

As I continued to look at Kat I asked "Are you ok with this?"

"Yes," she answered. "Helen and I have talked about this already. If we kiss and show some other signs of affection, it will make this so much more believable."

"It makes sense," I said, "but I still feel really weird about it. It's not like I ever had to kiss someone in one of my school plays."

"I'll coach you," said Helen. "I'll get you to kiss me, then I'll get you to kiss Kat the same way. Let's start with something easy. Let's pretend you just got home from work. I'll be cutting vegetables in the kitchen." This was such an everyday occurrence that it felt easy enough. Helen went over to the kitchen bench. I walked up to her, put a hand on her shoulder, and leaned in for a quick kiss. "Welcome home," she said.

"It's nice to be home at last," I replied, doing my best to get into the role play.

"That was good," said Helen. "Kat, how about you stand by the stove like you're stirring a sauce. Finn, this time kiss me and then kiss Kat straight after. Don't stop to think about it, just do it."

I followed my wife's instructions and, all of a sudden, I was kissing her friend on the lips. It was quick and quite chaste, but I felt it went well. Neither of us pulled away at the last second, and Kat didn't seem to recoil as a result.

Helen seemed pleased with what she saw. "There, nobody died. Let's try a goodnight kiss next." Helen sat down at our dinner table. "Pretend I'm at my desk working. It's late and you're going to bed."

This wasn't an unusual situation for us. Helen often works in the evening. I bent down and kissed her in a very similar way to our kiss in the kitchen. "No, not that kiss," said Helen. "Do the double kiss."

"What's the double kiss?" I asked.

"It's when you pull away for half a second, but then you lean in again for another go." She turned to speak to Kat. "I really love it. It's like he found that the first kiss wasn't enough for him, and he needed a second one. It also contains the promise of something more, but he's allowing me to decide. If I decide to keep on working, then he will respect that. But if I decide to kiss him back passionately, then it's all on."

I had never actually thought about my kisses in the way Helen was describing them, but I was very pleased with what she was saying. Helen got me to demonstrate it with her, and then she changed places with Katerina and got me to kiss her in the same way. To me it felt more intimate than our first quick kiss, but she didn't seem unduly uncomfortable with this. In fact, she turned to Helen and said "You're right, that's kinda nice."

"Good!" said Helen. She seemed strangely pleased that Kat liked my kisses. "I think you two are ready to try a tender kiss." Helen stepped into my arms and put her arms around my neck. What she called a tender kiss was really a series of short kisses, an extended version of the double kiss from earlier. Eventually she turned her head towards Katerina. "I think there's too much risk involved if you attempt to use tongues, but I'm confident that you can appear to be in love without having to French kiss. Finn often finishes a kiss by kissing me on the forehead, so if he remembers to do that with you, I think it will be very convincing."

Helen stepped away from me as Kat stood up and moved towards me. As she put her arms around my neck, I felt her press her body against mine. I could feel her generous breasts pushing against my chest, and because she is a few inches shorter than Helen she had to tilt her head back further while I had to lower my mouth to hers. Despite my nervousness, I felt confident enough to continue through the kiss as I was encouraged by her willingness to go along with this. I remembered to kiss her on the forehead as we finished.

"That was adorable," said Helen. "You two look so cute together. There's just one more kiss to practice and then we're finished. It's time for the sexy kiss."

"I thought you said we wouldn't risk any passionate kissing," I said.