Billiards and the Shindo

She looked up at me again, "I'm very competitive. You don't even know. You aren't going to like that side of me, Sean."

I went and got another beer and more water for her. I paused and squeezed her shoulder when I walked into the kitchen, the poor thing was trembling.

She took a deep gulp and continued, I tried to nod reassuringly whenever I could, "I have three siblings. My oldest brother is an orthopedic surgeon living in San Antonio with his wife and three daughters, which you know about their 16 year old. My youngest brother lives in Chicago with his wife and two sons and is a cardiothoracic surgeon. My sister lives in San Francisco and is a neurosurgeon. She's not married but is engaged to a nice guy. She cuts through skulls and into people's brains. Isn't that gross?" I nodded in agreement.

"Anyhow, she's a really good person and I'm closer to her than my brothers, but I love them all." She paused and then her face went dark. "I'm the youngest, and as much as Mom and Dad wanted four out of four of their kids to be doctors, when it was time for me to go to college, there was no way I was going to medical school.

"Dad wasn't happy about that, so I tried to placate him by getting a business degree. Like maybe it would come in handy if I were to run the store someday. My sibling doctors sure weren't. I had the grades, got into UCLA, and Dad supported me as best as he could but I was going to have to make up the difference. I got through college by hustling pool.

"At the store, losing to a girl was an ego buster. That was all, and Dad was never too far away, looking out for me. But then, at where I was playing, in sometimes unsavory places around L.A., when money was going from their pockets to mine, it sometimes got ugly. Even though I was leaning on my shindo to anticipate, I got careless one night." She showed me the inside of her arm that was bearing a large scar from the inside of her elbow to her wrist. "My oldest brother told me that the knife was millimeters from an artery where I would have bled out before I got help."

I got closer to her on the couch and was going to move all the way in and hug her when she put her hand on my chest to keep me away. "No. Let me finish. Please." I nodded in approval and she gave me a weak smile.

She continued slowly, "When I graduated college, Dad sold the store. He, Mom, and Grandma moved to Korea, even though my folks were born in America. Dad got a good sum for the store, and with support from my doctor siblings, they were going to live like royalty in Korea.

"I found an office job at an import/export company, but I wasn't using my degree. They wanted me for my Korean language skills that my folks insisted I learn when growing up. It was then that I started playing tournaments. Locally when I could, podunk casinos as you called them, with an occasional drive to Las Vegas.

"I moved up the ranks quickly and was pumping out top 3 finishes until I realized I hated my office job and could make a living at playing pool. I told you before, it doesn't really pay well. A lot of my winnings go to traveling as I don't have roots anywhere. I spend a few weeks with each of my siblings, they let me crash at their places between tournaments, but I was lonely too.

"That's when I met Jack. Maybe you've heard of him, Jack Wheton. No? Well he's currently world champion on the men's circuit. He fell in love with me, at least that's what he told me, but my shindo let me know it wasn't true. Maybe he thought he loved me, but now I think he doesn't have the capacity for it. On my part, I really didn't love him either, but I got damn fucking close. I leaned on my shindo to keep it from pushing me over the edge.

"Still, it was a perfectly beneficial relationship. We traveled together and our expenses were cut in almost half. I wasn't a virgin at the time and I like sex just as much as the next woman, well, we were compatible there. And then there were the billiard tournaments, we supported each other through our rise in the ranks and learned from one another when we could.

"I don't want to say I was truly happy, but I was happily content. We were the 9-ball power supercouple. I finished my third consecutive world champion, and women's billiards player of the year award when it all crashed. Alice Jenkens came into the association."

A single tear fell from one of her eyes. I tried to wipe it but she pushed my arm away and left the tear on her face which had turned into sort of a scowl.

With her nostrils flared, she said, "I used my 'ability' on Alice, but the only thing that I could read was that I would never beat her. At anything. She was young, just out of college, blonde and beautiful, and her family wealthy. Her daddy subsidized her entire tour, she stayed in suites while I was in the bargain hotels to save money. And now I was alone. Jack fell hard for Alice immediately and because he was #1, she wanted him too and he left me with just a casual goodbye." Another tear fell, this time from the other eye. "My shindo told me that she doesn't really love him, but she doesn't care. She had taken my man and won. Besting me even before we went head-to-head in the finals. I lost my cool, I'm still embarrassed to this day at how I reacted at a tournament the first time I saw them together, but her smug face whenever I see her makes me want to claw her eyes out."

"Wait," I stopped her softly, "I thought you didn't love Jack. Were you just upset because you lost the tournament to Alice, or because you lost him?"

"Both," she said without hesitation. "He's actually a nice, likable guy, really. I might have not been in-in love with him, but we did almost everything together. We had fun sometimes. I didn't travel much when I was a kid, but when Jack and I went into a new town, we'd explore it together. There were four or five good years that he tossed away like they never happened.

"Yet, after we both won national championships, I wondered why he hadn't proposed to me. I think he knew I'd say, 'no,' and he would have been right, my shindo was telling me I wasn't supposed to be with him. So we just got comfortable in our routine."

She put up her hand and said, "You're going to interrupt me again, but don't, OK? Do you need another beer?" I got up and came back with a Scotch instead. She chuckled weakly, "Good choice. Here comes the hard part."

She looked long and hard into my eyes again, and then, "When I met you at the trade show, I didn't know what to make of you. I was getting strange signals from my shindo but all I could make out of them at the time was that our paths would cross again. Soon.

"Later, I watched you from the bar while you were on your laptop. The signals I was receiving were unusual because you were across the room and I couldn't make eye contact, but they were there. When I sat down with you in the bar and then at dinner, I got the most direct message from shindo that I've ever felt. First, I know that you are kind. Then, I know that you are honest. Next, I got the message that I can trust you. With my life even. And then... and then... and then... "

Her whole body shuddered and she had to compose herself before continuing, "I felt something I've never felt before." She grabbed my Scotch and put it on the coffee table then took both my hands in hers. "I read it in your eyes first, but then it radiated through my entire soul from yours: your heart is mine for the taking. You don't realize it, yet, but If I want it, you would helplessly give it to me. Freely. All of it. That, in and of itself, means... I could hurt you deeply, but... if I gave you my heart freely, we would have an everlasting love. It would change both of our lives forever."

I was in some kind of spell or trance I think. This was a lot to process, but for some reason, I believed her. All of it. I felt a need to go on the defense but didn't know why. "Eun, we, we, we just met a couple months ago. We really don't know each other."

She smiled and got up from the couch, pulling me with her. "I know. You have a lot to think about. There's one more thing. I can possess your heart, now if I wanted to do that, but your mind still needs to do something very important first, so I'm going to wait until that happens. I feel it will be soon though." She kissed me lightly on the lips and then wrapped me in a hug before going to the door.

"I hope to see you tomorrow after the tournament," she said in the open doorway while I stood there stunned like an idiot, "but if I don't, I'll understand." And then she was gone.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I didn't get much sleep that night even though I put away another couple of Scotches on an empty stomach before going to bed. She sat on my couch tonight and laid herself wide open, bare at my feet, and I went over and over again what she had said. I believed everything she told me, at least I wanted to believe everything she said.

Could I see a future with Eun-Ji? Could she be my soulmate? Yeah, sure, I was initially attracted to her hotness, crushing on her from my easy chair while I watched her on TV and then ultimately meeting her and playing her game. Yet I couldn't deny that she is something special. Lightning in a bottle. And she liked me. Loved me even? So soon?

Could she change my life and do I want that? I don't think I realized just how lonely I was until I had to say goodnight to her after our first dinner together. I am pretty old to start a family, but I'm not in bad shape, why not? Wife and babies would certainly change my life, and there's nothing about any of that which sounds bad.

I imagined waking up to Eun-Ji in our bed every morning. Now that would be something.

At about 4 AM I realized that I would spend the rest of my life regretting it if I didn't grasp this once in a lifetime chance and see where it goes. I finally fell asleep. I woke up to the alarm at 8 and hurriedly made a huge 3-egg and toast breakfast, shit, showered, and shaved to get out the door by 9. The first round of the tournament would start at 10.

San Diego County has something like 10 Native American casinos with more being built every year. In my opinion, which of course is in part formed by many semesters of college math courses while getting my engineering degree, they exist because they can take people's money without them knowing they are throwing it away. They are also just as trashy and unappealing as a Las Vegas casino. They reek of smoke, and they are full of the desperate and soulless people thinking that they can beat the odds which are stacked in favor of the house. My opinion didn't change as within ten feet of the front door I was already gasping for clean air.

I asked a random casino employee near the front where the tournament was being held and was directed to a far corner of the building. There were a surprising number of people assembled around a sunken pit of about eight tables with one pulled off into its own space, I presume for the finals. I made an educated guess that the spectators were friends and family of the entered players.

I found a place to sit and watch, scanning the field for Eun-Ji. When I spotted her, she was already looking right at me, a full on dimpled smile going from ear to ear. I blew her a kiss and I'll be damned if she didn't blush. She motioned me to the wall surrounding the playing field and when I met her at it I bent down and she got on her heels and gave me a quick kiss on the lips.

"I'm so glad you came," she said, beaming, "but you didn't have to come for the tournament. I thought we were going to meet up later."

"I wouldn't miss it," I said. "I'm going to get the crowd to start a wave when you come up to the table."

"Ha. Silly. Don't you dare. Though I probably wouldn't notice." She scrunched up her face. "I get kind of, um, focussed and in a zone when I play."

I laughed, "Just like the hot Korean-American who always wears black that I've seen on ESPN." She rolled her eyes with a smile and then went off to find her assigned table for the first match.

I watched the tournament in utter fascination. First, watching her in action, in person, was so much hotter than on TV. I fully understood now what she meant by the motion of the carom being like poetry. It was beautiful, she was beautiful. Now and again she would line up for a shot where she had to lean deep over the table and I swear she overdid sticking her perfect ass up in the air in her tight signature black leather pants. Once I even saw her make a little grin aftwards, knowing full well that I had been watching with deep interest, and then just as fast she'd slip back into the zone.

The second thing I noticed that I hadn't ever seen on TV but now had insight to was how Eun-Ji locked onto her opponent with an unsmiling laser like gaze that just had to unsettle the poor adversary. I could see Eun-Ji make changes to her approach after some of those looks and I got what she was doing. Shindo. Truly an "ah-ha" moment which led to my fascination and deep appreciation of the level she was playing at.

There were 24 women playing at the pro level and Eun-Ji plowed through the brackets like something I remember from a Lord of the Rings movie where a giant cave troll was throwing the warriors into walls, sending them flying with ease. When it was all over, I was exhausted from the amount of adrenalin that pumped through my veins just from watching her play. Eun-Ji looked cool as a cucumber.

It was almost four in the afternoon when she won the final bracket and took the trophy. She motioned me down to the floor and her serious, icy gaze that she wore while in the zone was replaced with a warm dimpled smile. She gave me a tight embrace and kissed me quickly on the lips.

A voice from behind her broke our embrace, "Erin. Nicely done today, honey. No surprise there. Ooh, is that handsome man your boyfriend?" It was a lady somewhere in her 60's that had competed but flamed out relatively early in the tournament.

Eun-Ji introduced us in a friendly way that felt sincere and then asked, "How are your hands, Joyce?"

"Oh, they hurt like a bitch," Joyce responded, "but it still felt good to shoot stick with you youngsters again. Take care, honey, but now give that handsome feller some attention. You should have seen him pining over you all day, and all that teasin' you did to him was almost too much for the man."

Eun-Ji laughed and the two hugged before Joyce went on her way. I later learned that Joyce was world champ through the entire 1980's before arthritis chipped away at her career. Eun-Ji admitted that Joyce was the closest thing she had to a friend when she started her career.

"I have to take a shower and change before our date," she told me. "Have you decided what you want to do with me?"

"Uh, let's have dinner and then we can talk about what's next. We are kind of in the boonies out here unless we want to do a lot of driving." I thumbed towards the direction of the lobby, "I'll just wait for you out front while you get ready."

"The hell you will. You'll wait for me in my room. Come on." She grabbed my hand and pulled me to the elevator, her trophy, cue case, and check for the winnings all in her other hand after she refused to let me help her carry them.

I settled into the hotel room desk chair while she took off her shoes and fussed about the room gathering her clothes before getting her shower going. Just before she went into the bathroom and shut the door, she tossed me something from her suitcase. It was a calendar, twelve months of featured pro World Women's Billiards Association.

With a smirk on her face she told me, "I'm the month of February. They put me there because they all think I'm a frozen bitch. You'll notice that Alice Jenkins is July, for being all sunny and warm. I'm not kidding, I know the assholes that put the calendar together. Anyhow, while I'm in the shower you can turn to February and perv on me all you want." And perv I did. She looked stunning in her picture, and it was hard for me thinking about her being just on the other side of the door with nothing on.

Her shower was quick and she came out in just a towel that showed the entirety of her legs, almost showing her privates, but those legs were nothing short of amazing. In a smoky voice she said, "Damn, Sean. I left the door to the bathroom unlocked; I was hoping you would've joined me. I thought my calendar photo would have made it too tempting for you to resist. You're taking the gentleman thing a little too far I think."

Then she pulled a dress from the closet, black of course, holding it to her body for my approval and I enthusiastically nodded. That's when she did something I would never forget until my dying days, she pulled off the towel and let it fall to the floor. She was stark naked and then proceeded to clothe herself right there next to me, in front of a full-length mirror. She started with a lacy black pair of panties and went without a bra before pulling on her dress. Her body was amazing.

Pulling on some black pumps as she walked across the room to me, she used two fingers under my chin, closing my gaping mouth. "You liked that, huh?" I gently nodded. "Good, that was to hold you over until after our date." She gave me a chaste peck on the lips and then we went out for the evening.

++++++++++++++++++++++

We ate at one of the casino restaurants, one that didn't allow smoking and I vaguely remembered the meal but in no detail whatsoever. We had such an entertaining time joking and bringing up silly things from our pasts that the meal flew by. She flirted with me a lot and I tried my best in return, only I'm not very good at that kind of thing. It was also a relief that we didn't seem to have any game-stopping impasses; we both had little interest in politics but they were pretty closely aligned, our tastes in music overlapped nicely, we both deeply loved our families and valued them as life priorities, and she also preferred Star Wars over Star Trek. Whew.

We lingered at our table for a little too long until we got the hint from the wait staff and adjourned to the bar in order to decide what we'd do next. I ordered at the bar, a water for myself and a beer for Eun-Ji at her request and brought our drinks over to a little private table. She motioned at my water and made a "WTF" gesture.

I replied simply, "After a half bottle of wine, I've got a long drive home tonight and on dark and narrow windy roads."

A flash of anger crossed her face and then she slumped her shoulders in resignation. "What do I have to do, Sean? I'm not very good at losing, but I feel that's what's happening here. I'm also not exactly skilled in the art of seduction, I've never had to do this before, but you have to meet me halfway here."

"Eun," I replied calmly, "you have to know that I really like you. I haven't spent a single minute not thinking about you since the trade show, but I don't want to ruin this."

"Oh my god, Sean." She seemed pretty pissed off now. It was looking like I had already ruined it.

We went silent for a minute. I was calculating my exit strategy, severely disappointed in myself but knowing that it was inevitable. She broke the silence with, "When was the last time you were with a woman? Like, in bed with a woman?"

"Um, I don't know. Can't remember." I responded.

She looked hard into my eyes and said, "Yes you do. It was with your ex, wasn't it?"

I nodded, "Yeah, so."

"That was three years ago, right?"

I nodded again.

"For me," she continued, "it's been two years, ever since shithead Jack." She paused and looked up at me again. "I'm on birth control, we are both obviously safe so you don't even need a condom, and I want you, you want me, why are we sitting in this bar three floors below my room? And no, you aren't going to fucking drive home tonight."