Billiards and the Shindo

I hesitated, this was all so surreal. Those laser beam eyes of hers bore into mine and almost under her breath she said, "Go ahead. Just try and tell me you don't want to go to my room."

++++++++++++++++

Our first time was, in honesty, a little awkward. In my mind, it was going to be slow and sensual, full of meaning and expression. What it turned out to be was pure lust, almost animal-like, and later I hoped that we didn't damage our clothing when we ripped them off of each other only two steps inside the door, nearly breaking our necks from falling while we stumbled through it. I think we were so turned on and hot for one another that it couldn't have been tempered even if a bucket of ice water were dumped on us.

At first, I tried to go down on her, wanting to give her a sure thing at an orgasm but she stopped me. She asked if I liked doing that and I told her that I did, but still stopping me she said, "Good, I like that a lot. But later. Please? I need you right now and I want to look into your eyes while you're in me."

"It's just... it has been a while." I begged for her understanding.

"I know," she whispered, "but we have all night."

We maneuvered to the bed while our lips and tongues were locked together, almost mashing our faces. I moved to get on top, while she countered to flip me on my back in order to ride me from above. It would have been funny if we didn't have so much pent-up need and urgency. The result left us both on our sides, facing each other, our legs and arms tangled together until I grabbed her ass and pulled her up higher on my body and found her center, lining up to enter her. We paused, broke our savage kissing, if only for just a moment. She smiled and with her grip on my ass, pulled herself on me until I was fully buried into her in a single stroke. In the dim light of the room with a single light on in the corner on low, her eyes never left mine while we fell into a rhythm that at times built into a frenzy while we both grunted in exertion.

I felt my orgasm building and warned her. She ordered me to, "Do it!" And do it I did, emptying myself into her with a whimper and a shudder while she gazed into my eyes. After it subsided, I managed to rotate her until she was on her back, all while maintaining our connection with me next to and inside her. I knew I had only moments before I would be soft so I wasted no time and continued to stroke in and out, all while rubbing at her clitoris with my left hand until I felt her shudder and whimper in her own orgasm.

When our breathing returned to normal, I felt myself slipping out so I gently untangled our limbs and brought a wet, warm washcloth from the bathroom, cleaning her up first before climbing up next to her again. She had a dreamy expression on her face. I put my lips on hers and we shared a gentle, loving, but passionate kiss.

We didn't say anything and just quietly enjoyed the moment. She wasn't trying to read me anymore, she just looked at me with a contented happy smile. Which was exactly how I was feeling as I ran my fingers through her silky hair and thought to myself, "I want to keep this one. Like, forever."

++++++++++++++++++++++++

We made love one more time that night, but slower, with tenderness and without urgency. I thankfully lasted much longer that time. Then after a restful sleep in each other's arms, we made love again in the morning. She admitted later that the mornings were her favorite time for that, and she thoroughly enjoyed gentle, sleepy-time love.

For the next half hour we just cuddled in bed, not saying too much and just enjoying being next to each other. Somehow it felt familiar and natural even though it was our first morning together. I ran my fingers through her hair, lightly massaging her scalp at the top and stroking my fingers through the length of her long hair. She seemed to really like that, lightly purring when I would repeat the stroke from the top again.

She broke the spell, "I forgot to ask you. Did you have any plans for today?"

I had almost forgotten that I did, so I replied, "Yeah. My sister and her family are coming by the house at noon so the kids can play in the pool. I was going to grill up some hamburgers and hot dogs."

She sounded disappointed. "Oh," was all she said.

I asked her, "What time do you have to check out?"

She sullenly replied, "Oh, I don't know. Probably 11:00."

"Want to join us at the house? I know how you like hamburgers and I make a really good one."

She propped herself up on her elbows, "Really?!"

"Yeah, it'll be fun."

She jumped out of bed in all her glory and dragged me into the bathroom for a shower together. It was then that I showcased some skill and after we explored, soaped and rinsed, I went to my knees and proudly used a special talent that I had perfected over the 6 years living with my ex. Two fingers inserted and curved just right, finding the little bump I was looking for, while my tongue made little circles right on target. She got weak in the knees when her orgasm overtook her, thankfully she held on tight to the safety rails in the shower.

I just barely heard her over the sound of the running water, "Oh, god, I could get used to that."

++++++++++++++++++++++

We met for breakfast before going home, this time away from the casino, at the first sign of civilization we came up on. About half way through her stack of pancakes she stopped eating and put her fork down. "I saw it last night," she started, "in your eyes. You put your heart into loving me last night. It was real to you. Way more than just sex, we connected on a soul level." Then she picked up her fork and dug in again. How is someone supposed to respond to something like that?

At home I gave her the full tour of my house and I think she approved. Her favorite part being my back patio which was permanently in the shade from the overhang that ran the full length of the back of the house. On one side of the patio I had a small table and chairs that overlooked the swimming pool and a small vegetable garden. On the other side was a recent purchase that she squealed over.

I told her I had just bought it the week after the trade show, a used pool table made for keeping outdoors. She giggled and noted all its flaws with excitement. The pool cues were warped like boomerangs, some of the cushions had dead spots and the slate had some chips at the seams that were nearly invisible through the felt. At least the felt and the balls were new. She said, "Just as big a piece of shit as the one outside Dad's store. I love it!"

When my sister and her husband showed up, her two little girls burst on the scene like a hurricane, ready to swim. I slowed them down just enough to introduce Eun-Ji to them before they made a beeline for the pool. I introduced Jessica and Bill to Eun-Ji as my sister briskly walked through the house to keep an eagle eye on the kids. The raised eyebrows from my brother-in-law did not go unmissed. He silently mouthed, "She's hot!"

I further echoed his sentiments in my mind when Eun-Ji came out to the pool after changing into her bathing suit. It was a one piece with openings high on her hip making her legs look all the more statuesque. She winked at me acknowledging my appreciation.

We had a very nice afternoon playing with the girls in the pool, having burgers and dogs from the grill, and keeping up with two 8-year-olds to wipe up the drippings from popsicles that were colored way too blue for my patio and pool deck. The only challenging thing was keeping my sister from getting alone with Eun-Ji. It happened anyway, my sister was just good at her game.

I watched Eun-Ji and Jessica from a distance while manning the grill, they'd look over at me from time to time over their private discussion that looked, at times, serious but I could hear them laughing here and there too. Bill put a beer in my free hand, "Don't worry about it, bro. It was going to happen sooner or later, might as well let Jess get it out of her system and be done with it."

Even the twins got into the act. After we ate, for all to hear one of my nieces said, "We like her, Uncle Sean. You better put a ring on that." The other one followed up with, "If you get two little girls after you're married, they would be our cousins. Don't get any boys though."

When it was time for my family to go, Jessica gave me a hug and said, "I like her, Sean. Try not to fuck it up." Then I got hugs from the girls and a bro hug from Bill, then Eun-Ji got hugs from all around too.

After they left, Eun-Ji said, "I like your family. They're nice."

"I think they like you too," I replied, "and you were a hit with the girls. You are really good with kids."

She chuckled, "I better be. I have a gaggle of nieces and nephews of my own. You are pretty good with kids yourself."

I replied, "I always wanted to be a 'fun' uncle, and I like that I can be silly with them. Sometimes I watch them so Jess and Bill can have a night out, but really it's an excuse for me to watch cartoons."

She put her arms around my neck and kissed me. "I like that about you," she said after pulling back but still holding me.

I sighed knowing I had to ask her what we had both been avoiding. "What's next, Eun? Where do you go from here?"

She sighed back, "I thought I'd head to my sister's in San Francisco and crash there. In a couple of weeks there's a decent paying tourney in northern California. They won't comp me a room but it's only a couple hours' drive from her place."

"You will, um, stay here tonight, though, right?" I pleaded.

"I accept your terrible excuse at an invitation." She smiled at me.

"You could stay here a little longer too," I asked nervously, "if you want to, that is. I mean, I'd like you to."

"I'd really like that. My sister works crazy weird hours and it has been a little uncomfortable for me there ever since she got engaged."

"I have to work too, but you can sleep in every day. I know you like to read a lot and you can do that poolside here at Hacienda Sean. You can even practice 9-ball on my high-end pool table to stay sharp."

That made her chuckle. With her face inches from mine she said, "I think that would be nice. I'll do exactly that. I'll check in at the register later, right now let's get a shower and wash the blue popsicle gunk off of you." I posted no resistance as she pulled me towards the bathroom.

++++++++++++++++++++

The next morning I got up a little later than I should and got out of bed carefully so as to not wake Eun-Ji. I started the coffee brewing and then went out the patio door and into the water, swimming my usual 25 laps. When I got out of the pool, a bleary-eyed Eun-Ji was leaning in the patio doorway. She had put on one of my T-shirts.

"Do you do that every morning?" She asked.

"Every day." I kissed her on the cheek on my way back in and pulled her with me. "Hey, I'm running a little behind this morning. I lingered in bed too long, it felt too good spooning you to get up. Why don't you go back to bed, sweetheart."

She grumbled something I couldn't understand. She looked so cute as she stumbled back into my room and back under the covers. She was fast asleep after I finished my shower so I just lightly kissed the top of her head after getting dressed before heading off to work.

It was difficult getting anything done at the office, more so than usual as in addition to the constant interruptions which were the office normal, my mind was churning over the events of the last 72 hours. The interruptions were a little over the top too as the rumor monkeys were in full gear, spinning all over my lunch date on Friday.

Matt was the first one to ask and he was the only one I confessed to having spent the weekend with Eun-Ji, but I didn't give him any of the naughty details. Patricia was buzzing about it too and all I told her was that we were now dating and I thanked her for giving me the kick in the pants I needed to contact Eun-Ji after the trade show. With everyone else I just brushed it off as if we were friends and who knows, maybe it will go farther someday.

Then my boss, Charlie, got in on the act. "You know, my boy," he treated all of us like we were his children, "you haven't taken a day off this year and it would do you good. Why don't you take your new squeeze up into the mountains for a few days, or maybe more? It's been really hot this summer and you know it's a lot cooler up in the mountains right now. Big Bear or Arrowhead or something." A good idea I told him and then I promised that I would consider it which made him beam like he just solved the world's problems. At least he left me alone after that.

At last I finally got home only to a heavy burnt smell and a frantically upset girlfriend. She hugged me and buried her face in my chess. "I wrecked dinner," she sobbed, "I'm a terrible cook. I wanted to make you something nice for when you got home and I burnt everything."

I calmed her down and told her I didn't care about that. I turned off the AC, opened up all the windows and turned the attic fan on before taking her to a little sports bar a few blocks from home where we got a couple beers, ordered dinner, and caught the early baseball game highlights on ESPN.

The next night I came home to a completely different situation. A wonderful smell greeted me at the door and I found Eun-Ji in the kitchen talking to her iPad that was propped up on the island counter. She had her sister on facetime who had walked her step by step through making dinner, a spaghetti bolognese that was now simmering on the stovetop. Eun-Ji beamed when she saw me, giving me a big hug and then a kiss before introducing me to her sister, Minjii.

Minjii had a pretty face, similar to her sister, but her hair was cut short and she looked older than her years while maintaining a smile that looked very much like Eun-Ji's. "About my sister's cooking," she said to me after I got squarely framed in the device's camera, "don't expect much. Living out of hotels like she does, she never learned, and her brothers and I won't let her near our kitchens."

From over my shoulder, "Hey, I heard that, Minjii. You shit."

Minjii laughed that off and said I shouldn't worry. "She likes you, Sean, and she has lots of other things to offer even if she is a disaster in the kitchen. Who knows? You could be the best thing that ever happened to her. The first thing you can do is not let her eat a hamburger every day." I looked back at Eun-Ji and she gave me a sheepish smile and shrugged her shoulders. I counted back in my head how many times I saw her eat a hamburger, including last night at the sports bar.

Minjii continued, "Get some vegetables in that kid once in a while, can you do that, Sean?"

From over my shoulder again, "Hey, I like vegetables."

"Only if Mom makes them, Eun. Admit it." Minjii smiled at herself for not hearing another comeback. "OK, kids. I have to go, I have a long, stressful surgery in the morning." I moved off camera so Eun-Ji could say goodbye. "Bring him up with you sometime so I can meet him in person. And Eun? You were right. Handsome. Nicely done. Bye, sis. I love you."

"Love you too, Min." Eun-Ji kissed the screen and signed off.

Dinner was excellent and she knew it too. She beamed all through our meal and I returned her smile.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I thoroughly enjoyed the rest of my week. Eun-Ji was a pleasure to come home to and it felt a lot like I pictured married life together could be like. We'd catch up on our days, have dinner together which I would help with, and then we'd cuddle on the couch or sit on the patio and just talk about everything and nothing. The only subject that she would skillfully steer us around was about the future. Specifically, our future.

I figured I'd be more direct and asked her one evening, "Do you plan on competing in the World Champion Invitational?"

She sighed and said, "Yes."

"You're going to win," I told her with confidence.

She twisted to look up at me as she had been leaning up against me on the couch, "I can't beat her, you know. Alice, that is."

"You can. I know you can. And you will."

"Whatever," she grunted back and that was as close as I ever got talking about what laid ahead for her.

I took off work early on Friday and we spent the afternoon together. We drove the 12 miles to the coast with the roof down on the Porsche, and then we walked along the beach holding hands. We had dinner in Encinitas and then window shopped a little through town. We stole kisses whenever we could and caught the sunset while sitting on the sand before going home. It was a great afternoon. We held hands on the drive home, well, whenever I wasn't shifting gears.

At home, in the glow of the porch light, we found a large box on my doorstep marked 'Erin Lee Signature Billiards' on all sides. She said excitedly, "Oh, it's here!" I asked her what it was and she told me, "I ordered some new cues and parts from my sponsor. We're going to do some work on your table tomorrow."

At the word 'tomorrow' her expression went from excited and happy to sullen in a microsecond.

I was concerned. "What is it, honey?" She just waved it off as nothing and we brought the box into the house. She was uncharacteristically somber the rest of the evening, her mood darkening by the hour until we went to bed early for a Friday night.

++++++++++++++++++++

In the morning, and for the first time since she'd been here, I awoke alone in my bed. I panicked and ran downstairs looking for her after checking the bathroom. I was relieved to find her on the patio, holding a coffee mug with both hands. She looked up at me without expression, seemingly not noticing that I wasn't wearing anything, and she bade me good morning.

I grabbed a blanket off of the couch, poured myself a cup of coffee, and then joined her on the patio. "Something's going on, Eun," I started, "are you going to tell me what's going on in your head?" She shook her head, no.

I pushed, "Babe, you have to talk to me. I can't be in another relationship where one of us holds back what we're feeling and thinking. We have to communicate or this can't work. I won't put myself in that place again. And we were doing great, weren't we?"

She sighed, and spoke softly, "Yes. Very much so." She reached out and squeezed my hand. "Spending time with you, walking along the coast... it was one of the best days of my life. No matter what happens, I'll never forget it."

"What's going to happen?" I asked.

She responded softly, "I don't know."

"Talk to me, Eun. What do you think is going to happen?"

"Please, Sean. I don't know. I can only hope."

I pleaded, "TALK to me. I'll say it again, I can't be with you if you won't tell me how you're feeling."

"Oh, I can tell you how I'm feeling," she responded, matching my own emotion in her voice, "I like you, more than you can know. I'm also feeling scared, vulnerable, like I'm so close to something I want so badly but like holding dry sand, it could run through my fingers and leave my hand empty while I'm helpless to prevent it. I feel like it can only go one of two ways, a lifetime of love and happiness, or a heartbreak that I don't know I'll recover from."

"I don't understand," I really didn't, "is this... is this because of, what do you call it, uh, shindo?"

She sighed and slumped her body back into the chair. "A little bit. I mean, it's also a little bit of Google, some research, and some plain old woman's intuition. With shindo, I can't tell the future. It doesn't give me Yoda's powers, like feeling a disturbance in the force, but I feel a pretty strong vibe that something is coming. Probably today. Let's just play it out and at the end of the day, if you still want me, I'll tell you everything and I'll promise never to hold back on anything ever again with you. OK? Can you do that for me?"