Billie Jaye Ch. 01

Billie Jaye 01

Hi there, I'm Billie Jaye and prior to the beginning of my story, I was known to about twelve people, but now, tee he, I have a growing list of people who want to know me and they want to know me for, well, for who the hell cares, right? I mean, my list of twelve, well, my matrix of twelve known people finally has promise to possibly doubling and I've been on cloud 12 for a couple of weeks now.

So, about me, right? Thanks to a very understanding mother, I've sprouted some form of a pixie bob cut hair style for a lot longer than I should have since I was born as a boy, but thanks to the nearly bazillion different levels of pixie bob cuts, I seemed to have gotten away with it, so, that's my hair. Although, today, I've landed on what is referred to as a messy pixie cut and that suits me just fine.

And as the rest of me, er, most of my clothing falls in the medium minus size category, which is basically the same as a small plus size category, but I'm happy with the way things have shaped up, especially my thighs and my height, in case you like your special friend to be shorter than you and a bit lighter.

Oh, and I hope you like your special friend just a little off center because estrogen works, but has a few mental issues side effects.

And this is totally a side note, but someone might be pleasantly surprised if that someone ever whispers "Pixie Dust" into my ear some moon lit evening down by the river. I mean, maybe, right? I mean, that person doesn't seem to be on my known list of twelve yet, but as I just said, my matrix has promise going forward.

Anyways, back to how my list of twelve known people suddenly began to grow, right? I mean, I would love to tell you that this is was all about me, of course, but the city of Middleton recently handed me a silver spoon and I took it! I mean, I swallowed the cough syrup and gave Mrs. Bentley back the city's ceremonial silver spoon, but it was still a huge deal. Not as huge as Mrs. Bentley, of course, but it was still a big deal to me.

"(Giggles)"

And let me to take a moment to use all the buzz words, especially since the entire city of Middleton was all a buzz about a minor, major, minor upcoming sporting event. So, here goes, although the fine city of Hillsdale to the north was selected to host the major, minor, major marathon race, the big little city of Middleton is proud to have been selected to host such an inspired sporting event like the upcoming minor, major, minor marathon race and all of the citizens are as happy as can be and giddy to be a part of such a national televised marathon.

I mean, I might have been the only one to actually be giddy, but my life had promise to change for the better and that's what giddy was made for, am I right?

Especially, ahem, for those who are fortunate enough to live right off the main marathon route where the marathoners will pass right pass them as they enjoy, ahem, the luxury of being considered as the primo viewing gallery areas! Fancy, right? I mean, I've been an audience member before, but I've never been a primo viewing "gallery" member, so, fancy, right?

So, since my cottage house is in the cottage house neighborhood (3 streets) along the south side of river just off of South River Drive, which was one the of the street routes that the marathoners were going to use, I mean, we had not only a primo viewing gallery spot (fancy), we had the comfort of our own homes and the race officials even installed one of those water cup hand off stations right near our intersection, so, fancy times two, right? And to make it fancy times three, there was a crane camera just down the main route that pointed right at our cross streets and to make it fancy times four, we basically had a fenced off block party going on. And we didn't even need to worry about back side traffic since the river escape road was a dirt gravel road and it was hardly used since it was, well, since it was a dirt gravel road that nobody ever used, right?

Except, tee he, those poor guests who wooed us cottage home owners for a guest invite for a day of primo prime viewing in the gallery, tee he.

Oh, and all those extra invited guests made it better times five, I guess.

And maybe my extra bazillion friends didn't come out of the woodwork like the other neighbors did, but still, my list of twelve known people had a lot of promise.

Anyways, my story starts the Friday night before the Sunday morning marathon and it started on the Middleton Strip, which was best chance to come upon new prospects for my list.

However, first, of course, my thighs are not squishy! They are soft and smooth and less than full and sometimes camera angles can be deceiving and squishy and soft are exactly the same and as long as I'm standing up, they are perfect and I wouldn't trade them for anything. They perfectly transition into my hips and they are firm and shapely. Besides, my cheekbones are what's so hypnotic about me, so that's where you should be staring, I mean, looking, so.

Anyways, as I said, after I slipped Mrs. Bentley back a normal stainless spoon and kept the ceremonial silver spoon, here is how I handled the influx of requests to "guest host" extras on my street for the fancy gallery viewing area and the corresponding street block party, which is why I hit the Strip the Friday night before the marathon.

And by the way, I mean, Middleton is known as a haven for weekend festivals and just about every festival has a kick off marathon associated with it, but the minor, major, minor marathon was not going to be the usual 1.2K festival marathon or even the summer season ending 1.4K marathon, but it was a real 10K marathon! Fancy.

"Billie Jaye, Billie Jaye [slips three cigarettes into Billie Jaye's hand] you can't host a mad marathon mixer without a few cigarettes laying around the house, so?"

"Erick, you're already on my list of twelve, so, you're welcome to my street, but I'll pay back better for a couple of cigarettes with the brown paper around the filter, so?"

Erick is #10 and pretty, cool and shy, I guess.

"I'm on it, Billie Jaye and I'll come out of my shell with you if that pay back double is in the form of a little red riding hood costume, so?"

Well, Erick might just have moved up to #8 then! But no, I will not be wearing a little red riding hood costume for a nationally televised marathon, right?

Yes, no, maybe?

"I mean, Billie Jaye [slips a butane lighter into Billie Jaye's hand] you can't light a blunt or cigarettes without a butane lighter and I won't back off for one of your kiss forward lip smacks, so?"

Well, Ace didn't say when I could kiss forward, so.

"[Smack, smack] Ace, I need two cigars for my party supplies, so?"

"I'm on it, Billie Jaye! And what are the odds that there might be a little red riding hood costume in my immediate future then, huh? The hood won't mess up your weird, I mean, your messy hair, right, Billie Jaye?"

Hmm, there seems to be a growing theme here, right? And Ace is like #6 on my list of known people, but I was on the Strip to increase my list of known people, not add personal details to those who I already knew. But I noted a few things anyways since new details were being brought to the surface since my list of twelve known people is actually a matrix with multiple cells and columns, so.

"Ahem, excuse me, um, Ben, Ben, I know you're not on my list of twelve known people, but, um, Ben?"

"(Tee he, tee he, whisper, tee he, whisper, tee he, whisper) and the Bartender says "in what universe is squishy and soft exactly the same" tee he, oops, oh, we just heard a new joke, um, hey there, um, it's Billie Jaye, right, tee he?"

"I mean, yeah, Ben, I'm Billi Jaye and I think you heard the joke all wrong, I mean, I think the Rabi said, well, never mind, but listen, Mr. Ben, I mean, Ben, I mean, well Ben, I've been gathering party supplies because if half of the twelve people that I'm known to, I mean, if half of them show up at the same time at my place for Sunday's marathon and street party, I mean, Ben, I think I need a blunt, so, I mean, Ben, can I have that party supply from you then, hmm? And don't even bothering asking me about the other half of the people that I'm known to because the back half would probably rather take shots of ground glass than show up at my place for a mixer, so, I mean, Ben, can you help me out then, hmm?"

[That's a whimsical expression on Ben's face, but Ben responses and triples up]

"Well, Billie Jaye [slips three blunts into Billie Jaye's hand], you listen back, half of your back half of known people would gladly take that shot of ground glass if the shot glass was held firmly between your naked butt buns, so, forget about them and don't be so shy with me, so?"

"Oh, Ben, oh, well, Ben, that's quite a picture you painted there and um, Ben, um, you're more than welcome at my place this Sunday and um, well, I don't have a red carpet to roll out, so, ooh."

"Hush, Billie Jaye, but check your closet for a little red riding hood costume, maybe? And I'll be happy to repeat that in any of the alley access walkways tonight before you leave the Strip [he slips his cell phone number into Billie Jaye's hand], okay?"

"Ben? I'm at a loss, um, me?"

"Hush! Scoot about your business now, Billie Jaye."

I mean, I haven't been naked and face down with or for anyone yet, but, huh, right? With a shot glass? Ben might be in a tie for #1 with Felix!

[Weep, incoming text]

"Say "hey" 2 me if Ur on the Strip."

Well, I don't carry actual girls on my main list of twelve known people, but I do keep a separate side list for them, so.

"I mean, Belinda, hey, but I'm busy gathering mixer supplies, so, um, hi, Belinda."

"(Tee he, whisper, tee he, whisper, tee he, whisper) and the Pastor says "in what universe is a small plus size the same as a medium minus size, tee he and oh, oh, Billie Jaye, I mean, we just heard a new joke, um, hey there, Billie Jaye [slips a piece of paper into Billie Jaye's hand]."

"Belinda, you heard the joke all wrong, I think the Bartender says, well, never mind, so, what's this then? A shopping list for the appropriate party supplies that I need, hmm?"

"Billie Jaye, well, sort of. I mean, I couldn't afford to buy these things for you, but that's a shopping list for you to consider for your street party/grand viewing gallery gala and I even picked out a sexy pair of Texas Trap Tramp Denim shorts special for you that you could get away with wearing for one afternoon out in the street among your neighbors and friends and I know that you envy that little Texas Trap. And they are on hold for you at the "Too Short Shorts Shop" just up the Strip, so?"

"Oh, Belinda, um, okay, um, what's this other item then, hmm?"

"Oh, well, maybe or maybe not, it's a whip ass little red riding hood costume from the Costume Shop, which is two doors down from the "Way Too Short Shorts Shop" just up the Strip, so?"

"Oh, I guess I'm on it then, Belinda, um, have you seen Felix yet tonight, Belinda?"

Felix, right? He's my #1 on my list of twelve known people, but only from my side. He great and all, but he has a mental problem with the definition of a duck, which goes, if the duck looks like a girl, dresses like a girl and acts like a girl, then it's probably not a duck.

"Oh, your #1 who can't see that he could fuck his little duckie just like that without even trying? Sorry, Billie Jaye, but I think Felix might be out of town this weekend. Oh, and I wasn't implying that your little Texas Trap is a tramp, it's just that some of the shorts that he-she wears are a little risqué, so."

Hah! Nice save, Belinda. But it was nice to hear that Belinda did some level of research, right? Besides, it was nice to get a side boost to wear something so small since I would have the limited exposure of my blocked off street, right?

"So, Billie Jaye, do I have an invite to your highly sought after viewing gallery spot then, hmm? I've never been in a fancy "gallery" before, so?""

"Oh, of course you do, Belinda, um, so???"

"Oh, I'm bringing the boobs in a bikini top and a loose halter top! I mean, those fences are meant to be leaned over, right? I mean, some marathoner will take a cup of water from me since I fill the cups so well, right?"

Well, well, Belinda is quite blessed, so.

"Hi guys, hi everyone, I mean, hi, I mean, the Strip is hopping tonight right just before the big marathon race, right, so, hi guys."

"(Tee he, whisper, tee he, whisper, tee he, whisper) and the Cowboy says "in what universe are those not thunder thighs, tee he and, oh, Billie Jaye, I mean, we just heard a new joke, um, hey there, Billie Jaye, what's up?"

"Oh, I think you heard that joke all wrong, Freddy, I mean, I think the Nun said, well, never mind and by the way, squishy and soft are exactly the same and that's what you all learned new today and you all should show off your new knowledge by correcting people since soft is such a much kinder word and..."

[A familiar face pops out from the crowd of guys]

"Boo!"

"Jeffery? What are you doing lurking behind the guys where I couldn't see you then, hmm? I have no interest in getting into anything with you tonight, so?"

"Aww, come on, Billie Jaye [slips a small bag of airplane vodka bottles over Billie Jaye's wrist], you can't still me mad at me, can you? I mean, I'm still on your matrix list of known people, right, Billie Jaye?"

So, Jeffery the trickster, right? Just over a year ago, I thought we were becoming friends and he was at #3 on my list, but then he tricked me and tricked me good, which moved him way out to 13th place, but then the earth kept orbiting around the sun even after he tricked me, so I moved Jeffery back up to a hidden and shaded #3, but in parentheses and with a triple asterisk.

Oh, so how did Jeffery trick me then? Tee he and then the Nurse says "in what universe", no?

Fine. A while back, when I thought we were becoming friends, I mean, Jeffery told me that sometimes people like weight lifters, will practice lifting 220 to make it easier for them to lift 200 in a competition and then he said that gamers do something similar to hone their skills by implementing a gamer skill hack where they have someone sit on their laps while they play with that distraction. And maybe I fell for that twice. And maybe I fell for that a third time when he convinced me, well, tricked me into believing that his training would be so much if I wore some sort of lingerie and he may have said that because I was wearing lingerie under my warmup suit, but none of that matters because Jeffery ruined all that by secretly inviting a couple of his gamer buddies over that day!

There was never a fourth time. And, and, and, I never provided Jeffery with a lap grinding. He did all that by himself! Oh, and his gaming buddies never saw anything and they definitely did not catch me sitting on Jeffery's lap! I mean, they saw me in heels, black nylons, a garter belt, costume black undies and a sports bra, but that's all they saw!

Well, they saw all that for about two hours since I had to do something seeing how I was caught dressed in lingerie anyways, so I chose to serve them snacks and beverages dressed like that because I had to make it look like that's what I was there to do anyways, but that's all they saw. And after that is when I went about rewriting my list of twelve.

Oh, and by the way, my good folks, whew, I managed those heels like a boss that day! And just a couple of hours counts.

And maybe if there would have been a fourth time if, well, never mind, but Jeffery is only shaded in a light gray on my list of twelve known people because that was a pretty exciting afternoon, even if it was mostly harmless.

But that was enough of Jeffery for the night. I still had new people to meet to increase my matrix of twelve known people, even though I ran into the second half of my existing list first.

"So, Jarrod, I mean, Jarrod, I'm collecting party supplies and if I promise to have shaved ice chips that have the appearance of ground glass bits and pieces at my place this Sunday, I mean, my place might be happening this Sunday afternoon, so, I mean, hey, Jarrod."

"(Tee he, whisper, tee he, whisper, tee he, whisper) and the Priest says "in what universe wasn't that a game day lap dance" tee he, oh, oops, oh, we just heard a new joke, um, Billie Jaye [slips a gift card into Billie Jaye's hand], I mean, well, sometimes we're mean to you, but that's nothing that a little red riding hood costume wouldn't fix, so?"

Well, when the heavens send you that many messages, right? Well, it was enough messages for one night anyways.

Except for, of course, since the "Way Too Short Shorts Shop" and the "Costume Shop" were so close o each on the Strip, I mean, while I was there, right? If nothing else, it would save me a trip back to the Strip the next day, so, that's where I made my way.

Not to mention that I had been drooling since Belinda mentioned those Texas Trap Tramp Denim shorts, which should cut such an angle up my luscious thighs that it would be impossible to not look or stare and hey, I'm not afraid of the boy baggage that I carry, so.

But not without an escort to the shops, of course. And, huh, I might be the only Trap on the planet to ever say forward that nobody ever needed to know. And Ben didn't seem at all bothered to escort me to the shops. I mean, I went down on him in the alley access walkway first, but that was my choice since he actually talked pretty normal to me earlier in the evening.

I did not do that very well, but guys, right? It still worked. And that put my "serving in lingerie" day of excitement in the dust. That was exhilarating. And dangerous for getting caught. And a tad icky.

[Way Too Short Shorts Shop door chime jingle, jangle. Huh, with Ben in tow too.]

"Here they are, sweetie, ridiculously high V cut special boy Tramp shorts, dressing rooms are to the left. Hey Ben. Chit chat with me while his eyes get big once he slips those shorts on, okay?"

Well, Marci was right about that! I mean, of course, my legs looked amazing since they were basically 100% revealed, but for one morning and afternoon of the marathon while on my street, well, why not, right?

"(Tee he, whisper, tee he, whisper, tee he, whisper) and the Nun says "in what universe won't a special boy wear a little red riding hood costume to watch the marathon", tee he, oh, oops, oh, we just heard a new joke, um, Billie Jaye, so, well, someone is going to try to fuck you like a duck without even bothering to remove those shorts! Turn around."

[Spin, tippy toes, spin]

"Yep, your shy days are behind you now, Billie Jaye, so, can you manage to walk back down the Strip by yourself then, hmm? Ben and I were going to, er, talk a little more, so? Oh, and change back into your jeans, Billie Jaye. Your thigh thrusting gang bang shall not be on my head, so?"

Well, I knew code when I heard it, so, fine, Ben was bouncing back and Marci wanted to know more about that and that was fine. Ben is on my list now and with what Ben jammed and jammed and jammed into my mouth wasn't going to work anywhere else anyways, so. Besides, being busy with Marci would keep him from seeing me actually buying a little red riding hood costume, so everyone wins, right?

And besides times two, whew, I was done for the evening on the Strip! I mean, I had to rush home and start prepping for a few Texas Trap Tramp shorts selfies! Which had fancy rolled cuffs too.

What wasn't so fancy was just how the marathoners dealt with our bazillion degrees heat of the air and the pavement temperatures, but that was probably over shadowed by the city's sweeper truck driver, some guy named Hank the meth head, who had the sweeper brushes in reverse and filled the marathon route with extra pebbly gravel for the Bare Foot Speed Walker marathoners to deal with, but I wasn't in charge of that, so, don't talk to me about that.