Billie Jaye Ch. 01

I mean, since Hillsdale was awarded to host the National Speed Walking 10K marathon, the only thing left for Middleton to host was the National Bare Foot Speed Walking 10K marathon, but at least we had something, right?

And maybe I'm not known to very many people, but at least I was standing in my comfortable high tops. With my firm thighs in between of my Texas Trap Tramp shorts.

And when crowds of friends gather in a group amidst a street block party gallery viewing area, that's an open invitation to approach them, right? It must be written like that somewhere. If not, I just wrote it then.

[Speed step, ouch, speed step, grunt, speed step, SOB, speed step, ouch, speed step, OMG]

"Attention fancy street viewing gallery, the lead barefoot speed walking pack is now approaching up South Riverside Drive, so just as reminder, please do not reach over the sideline fencing and interfere with any of the bare foot speed walking competitors. Thank you."

[Speed step, ouch, speed step, grunt, speed step, SOB, speed step, ouch, speed step, OMG]

"Attention fancy street viewing gallery, I wasn't referring to the young lady leaning over the fencing in that, aha, aha, aha, halter top and bikini top, aha, aha, aha, thank you."

Well, as I said, Belinda has been blessed, so.

"Hi everyone, hi guys, hi everyone, I mean, talk about paving the streets red, right guys?"

[Not much of an ice breaker, but the bare footed speed walkers needed the ice]

"So, hi Howard, I mean, if the word is getting around that I'm packed loaded with party supplies, I mean, I have a couple of things, but, I mean, Howard, so, um, hi, Howard."

[Speed step, ouch, speed step, grunt, speed step, SOB, speed step, ouch, speed step, OMG]

"Oh, Billie Jaye, when did you get here?"

"Oh, I mean, my view must have been hidden by the water cup table tent, so, Howard, I mean, some of the twelve people that I know, I mean, I'm not talking you out, of course, but have you heard that some of the twelve people that I know have been confirming that my legs and thighs are perfectly firm and shapely while I standing up like this, I mean, hi, Howard, so?"

[Speed step, ouch, speed step, grunt, speed step, SOB, speed step, ouch, speed step, OMG]

"Oh, Billie Jaye, you're still here? Were you saying something then, huh? And are you making a major statement in those Trap Tramp shorts then, huh?"

"Oh, Howard, I mean, is that negative or positive then, hmm?"

"Billie Jaye [slips a pair of red boot laces into Billie Jaye's hand], up front in the mix of things, that's your business, Billie Jaye, but quietly, I think your pixie hair style is amazing and I think your body is amazing and built to wear a little red riding hood costume, so?"

"Oh, I mean, um, Howard, um, I kiss forward first, so?"

"I'll see you at your place a little later then, Billie Jaye."

On the quiet, right? It's always on the quiet. But it's hard to resist compliments, so.

[Speed step, ouch, speed step, grunt, speed step, SOB, speed step, ouch, speed step, OMG]

"Hi Sammy and friends, so?"

"(Tee he, whisper, tee he, whisper, tee he, whisper) and the Pastor says "in what universe is that three since those Texas Trap Tramp shorts clearly show otherwise, tee he, oh, oops, oh, we just heard a new joke, um, Billie Jaye, so, are you enjoying the excitement of the National Bare Foot Speed Walking marathon, tee he?"

[Speed step, ouch, speed step, grunt, speed step, SOB, speed step, ouch, speed step, OMG]

"I mean, I mean, I heard that joke before and I think you heard it wrong, Sammy, I mean, I heard it where the House Painter says, well, never mind, so, hey Sammy, what's up with you then, hmm?"

[Speed step, ouch, speed step, grunt, speed step, SOB, speed step, ouch, speed step, OMG]

"Attention all marathon medical teams, the lead pack of bare foot speed walker's feet are getting pretty squishy, so turn your medical attention to front pack of walkers and tend to the speed walker packs that are further back a little later since their feet are just getting soft and there's a huge difference between squishy and soft, so, more bandages up front please. Thank you. Oh, not Mrs. Bentley huge, but a big difference anyways, thank you."

"(Giggles)"

[Speed step, ouch, speed step, grunt, speed step, SOB, speed step, ouch, speed step, OMG]

"So, Billie Jaye, the lead pack has just passed our intersection, so, maybe we should take a little break inside of your house since we have such a deep history, hmm?"

Oh, see the above from last Friday night on the Strip then, folks! Jeffery and myself do not have a deep history. He tricked me and we never made it to a deep history. It's more like a swallow burrow in the ground.

[Speed step, ouch, speed step, grunt, speed step, SOB, speed step, ouch, speed step, OMG]

But I had seen my fair share of bloody footprints for a while, so.

"Alright, Jeffery, I mean, I've seen enough of the feet bleeding for a while, so, just behave yourself then, okay?"

[Speed step, ouch, speed step, grunt, speed step, SOB, speed step, ouch, speed step, OMG]

Besides, since the National Bare Foot Speed Walking marathon was actually painting the streets red, well, ick, ewe, ick, so a break from watching the action almost felt right, right?

And what wasn't ewe, ick, ewe was that Jeffery actually, almost, kind of, put his arm around me as we walked to my cottage house. And he had another party blunt, so.

[Puff, puff, pass, puff, puff, pass]

"Your house surprises me, Billie Jaye, LOL, not that I was expecting a pink dollhouse look or anything."

[Puff, puff, pass, puff, puff, pass]

"I suppose that you want the grand tour, including my bedroom then, hmm, Jeffery?"

[Puff, puff, pass, puff, puff, pass]

[Oops, thigh squeeze, squishy squeeze, soft squeeze]

"Are you judging me, Billie Jaye, for wanting to finish what we started, ahem, together, huh?"

[Puff, puff, pass, puff, puff, pass]

"We're having sex sooner or later, Billie Jaye and you know that you can't hit the "delete" key on your matrix to remove me from your list, so, I'm proposing a little fun time while you wearing these shorts now and maybe a little red riding hood later, sound good, Billie Jaye?"

[Puff, puff, pass, puff, puff, pass]

"Jeffery, this is not what I call behaving yourself and by the way, the marathon race is still underway, which means my street is full of people and I'm known by twelve people these days and half of them could knock on my door at any time!"

[Blink, blink, a weird look "yeah, right" stare down, blink, blink]

I mean, twelve people, people! Count them, twelve people could knock on my door at any given moment. Right?

[Speed step, ouch, speed step, grunt, speed step, SOB, speed step, ouch, speed step, OMG]

"Attention! Medical teams, TV crews and street gallery viewers, the marathon officials have found at least three Bare Foot Speed Walkers with their feet worn down to the bone and it's like they have flappy cartoon feet, tee he, so, well, the marathon officials are calling off this stupid ass idea right now! Bare Foot Speed Walkers, drop where you are and the medical teams will assist you as soon as possible and street gallery viewers, tee he, there's no need to speak with your local news stations about this, tee he."

[OMG Plop, OMG plop, OMG plop, OMG plop, OMG plop, OMG plop, OMG plop]

"So, Billie Jaye, you were concerned about too many people wandering around then, hmm? Bring those squishy thighs to poppa!"

[Squishy squeeze, squishy squeeze]

"Oh, that's the stuff, Billie Jaye! Bring it home to poppa!"

I did not know how to bring it home to poppa, but poppa sure knew how to use his hands!

[Knock, bang, knock, bang, bang, bang, bang]

"Ignore the door, Billie Jaye and keep crawling to poppa! Oh, oh, yeah, Billie Jaye, that's the grab handle!"

[Knock, bang, knock, bang, bang, bang, bang]

Well, snap! Hands on my squishy thighs versus a hand banging on the door, right?

[The front door opens, reluctantly because touching and squeezing felt good]

"Oh, Bruce [checks the known people list, Bruce is #11], I mean, Bruce, I was almost in the middle of something, so, well, hi, Bruce."

"Hey, Billie Jaye [slips a 6-pack of beer into Billie Jaye's hands and slips past] I heard you were stock piling party supplies, oh, hey Jeff, dude, what's up? Oh, a game console!"

[Swish, swoosh]

Well, every party needs beer, so.

"Well, you two knuckleheads, do not expect me to submit to serving..."

"[Phew, phew, phew, pow, pow] a beer and some chips would be great, Billie Jaye [pow, phew, bang]."

"[Pow, phew, phew, pow, bang] ditto Billie Jaye, ditto [pow, pow, pow, boom] and don't be shy about prancing around in those booty shorts [phew, pow, pow, boom]."

"[Phew, phew, phew, pow, pow] and then there is plenty of room between us for your squishy thighs, Billie Jaye afterwards [pow, phew, bang]."

Yeah, right! Soft! Soft, I say! I mean, three on a couch? Hah!

[Knock, knock, knock]

[Just opens the front door because there wasn't going to be a man in the middle. Well, no girly boy]

"Oh, Mrs. Redstone, Mrs. Blackstone, so, um???"

"Hi, Billy [slips stolen marathon bandages into Billie Jaye's hands] we heard that you were gathering party supplies and back in our day it was said that it wasn't a party if someone didn't need medical attention. And we're not here to see if your house is dollhouse pink, tee he, but since the hubby's are gawking over all of the medical operations going on with all the cartoon flappy feet, well, ooh, a game console oh, and with two cute young adult men at it!"

[Swish, swoosh, swish, swoosh]

Well, they talked to me, they knocked on my door and then they slipped past me, so, technically I'm known to fourteen people now, even though there wasn't enough time for a name correction. Nobody has called me Billy in a long time.

"Hey guys, do either of you need a beer refill? Or a couple of blouses unbuttoned a bit, hmm? Um, Billy, you're serving, right? And zipping up those tramp shorts, right?"

I was not serving! And my Texas Trap Tramp Denim shorts were just fine. I mean, for how short they were up to my front, I mean, well, things were so tight by my thighs that I didn't need the zipper zipped up, so.

"Here you go, ladies, airplane sized bottles of vodka and a couple of beers for the guys, so there, vodka and adult men, just how you two ladies like it in the middle of the afternoon, I guess."

"(Tee he, whisper, tee he, whisper, tee he, whisper, tee he, whisper, tee he, tee he) and then the Barista says "in what universe aren't those thighs the same as a garter belt, tee he, oops, ahh, thanks sweetie, um, well, can we just call you Billie Jaye like all the young men and old fags do then, hmm?"

[Bang, knock, bang, knock]

"Grand Central Station! Oh, ooh, Conway, ooh, it's been a while, but you're always welcome at my place, so come on in then, Conway.

Conway, is number two on my list of fourteen known people, but with an asterisk. But the asterisk is in his favor since he once attacked my lips in the park first and I was too stunned to react back with my return attack on his lips before his buddies came around looking for him. And by the way, stunned, shocked and scared are all exactly the same! Just like squishy and soft are exactly the same.

"I mean, Conway, I so owe you a kiss back! Maybe like five as pay back, but I promise, I promise and I promise that I was just shocked, stunned and maybe a little a scared to properly react back to you, so?"

[Mwah, smooch, mwah, smack, smooch, smack, peck]

"Hey, Billie Jaye [slips Billie Jaye a plastic shopping bag with a bottle of wine], I heard that you were gathering supplies and it isn't a party without a bottle of wine on the Breakfast Bar and it's alright about that evening in the park, I mean, you could make it up to me with some more kisses later, like in a little red riding hood costume or something and if you drop to your knees, ooh, a game console and a couple of MILFs with their blouses unbuttoned!"

[Swish, swoosh]

Well, that's my #2*, folks! Conway.

"Vodka refill anyone?"

"(Tee he, whisper, tee he, whisper, tee he, whisper, tee he, whisper, tee he, tee he) and then the Cleaning Lady says "in what universe is stunned, shocked and scared the same?", tee he, tee he, oh, Billie Jaye, um, ooh, ooh, we just heard a new joke and oops, so, Billie Jaye, I mean, well, who is this then, hmm?"

"I mean, I mean, I heard that joke before and I think you heard it wrong, Mrs. Redstone, I mean, I heard it where the Store Manager says, well, never mind, so, hey, does everyone know Conway then? Conway and myself go way back and, well, you all just get acquainted and I'll freshen up the beverages, so?"

"Tee he, well, back in our day, Billie Jaye, a woman's place was in the kitchen, tee he, so, boys, who wants to play a friendly game of finger snap on our bra latch snaps, huh? Tee, he, and only one snap attempt each, tee he (hic)."

Well, my party supplies were working, so.

[Knock, knock, knock]

"Oh, Mrs. Gemstone, um, I promise you that your son, Chester, isn't here, so?"

"Great, I was hoping for that since I've been spying on your revolving front door, Billie Jaye! [Slips Billie Jaye a long thread of condoms] it wasn't a party back in my day if someone didn't end up pregnant, but that was so wrong! Oh, a game console and a game of bra latch snap fingers! I'll catch up then! And even up the numbers!

[Swish, swoosh, whips off blouse]

Well, Chester was already on my list of fourteen known people, so his mom didn't count as the fifteenth.

[Bang, knock, bang, knock]

"James?"

"Billie Jaye [slips a frozen bag of peas into Billie Jaye's hand], it's not a party until someone dislocates a shoulder and needs a frozen bag of peas and the truth is, I'm dying and crying for that soft and squishy V that your thighs form in those shorts, oh, ooh, a game console and it's open because of some kind of game bra snap game and, ooh, fat squishy boobs!"

[Swish, swoosh]

Well, since he added soft along with the squishy part, well, everyone likes boobs, so.

[Rap, rap, rap]

"Are you kidding me, Ernie? I'm the devil in the blue dress! Once."

"Billie Jaye, I'll pay back three favors if nobody knows that I'm here [wipes off doorknob for fear of leaving secret faggot evidence behind] and I'll pay back five favors if I can, um, sit in your bedroom and watch you change into something more comfortable, like a little red riding hood costume and I'll pay back eight favors if there is a stolen lip peck mixed in there somewhere, so?"

[Smack, peck, smack, smooch, peck, peck]

Well, I just said it, there was sexy stuff going on everywhere in the living room and that has an effect on people who just have to watch, so.

"If your dick comes out [peck] while I change into something [smack] more comfortable, Ernie, then you owe me [smack, peck, smooch] ten favors paid back!"

"Oh, Billie Jaye, you got it for some thigh pounding sex! Ooh, a game console and a game of bobbing for fat squishy boobs!"

[Swish, swoosh, Billie Jaye starts to close door, an arm prevents that]

"Ahem."

"Oh, Mrs. Greenstone, I promise that your hubby only cuts my grass, so?"

"Oh, please, funny boy! That old geezer couldn't get it up if the earth stopped orbiting around the sun! [slips Billie Jaye a, well, a boner check] and watching him trying to jerk off his extremely limp dick is just pitiful, so, I'm not worried about him getting it up with you, ooh, a game console and a naked game of horny housewives! I'll catch up!"

[Swish, swoosh, blouse, bra, shorts, dropped]

Well, I mean, horny housewives with limp hubby's, right?

[Knock, knock, Billie Jaye answers the door with a rolled bandana in case a blind fold is required]

"Dale, what the hell? Are we on each other's list of known people? My list is crinkled, so?"

"Billie Jaye [slips middle finger into Billie Jaye's cupped hand and makes motions] I'm here to make your juicy ass flap and clap over the couch and as long as nobody has to know about that and we're doing it right now since the Bare Foot Speed Walking marathon has been cancelled, oh, ooh, a game console and a game of round robin nipple kisses!"

[Swish, swoosh]

Well, all men like topless ladies in just their panties, so.

"Does anyone need any..."

"(Tee he, whisper, tee he, whisper, tee he, whisper, tee he, whisper, tee he, tee he) and then the Cowboy says "in what universe can two be considered as three and in boner mode", tee he, tee he, oh, Billie Jaye, um, ooh, ooh, we just heard a new joke and oops, so, well, Billie Jaye, we're horny and our men are limp faggots, so we're fucking all of your best friends in your house and this would be so much better if you invited a boyfriend over to make your ass clap! Especially since if the guys want to go round robin on us, well, damn it, Billie Jaye, we're horny, so call a boyfriend!"

Yeah, I gave up with the "I heard that one" clap back line, so. But the statement of "best friends" was nice to hear. But since the first half of the fourteen people that I knew were basically there and since the second of my list of fourteen would rather gargle ground glass shards and all, right?

[Weep, outgoing text]

"Todd, Ur the only one not here."

[Knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock]

Nope, I didn't have time to change into something more comfortable in 11 seconds.

"Billie Jaye [slips sissy ankle jewelry into Billie Jaye's hand], it's about time! Prepare to have your jaws wrecked, your ass blasted and, oh, a game console and a MILF round robin gang bang on the floor!"

Well, I passed out a bunch of towels, so. And put the ankle bracelet down on the front table since it was cheap and because I don't want to be known as a sissy.

[Rap, rap, rap]

"Damn it, Ashton, my list of twelve, that just grew to fourteen, is in numerical order and not alphabetical order! And I told you before that I only have a couple of costumes. I also hinted to you to ask for a pixie dust fairy costume, but that, ahem, hasn't seemed to sink into your thick head, so, what do you want then, Ashton?"

"Aww, Billie Jaye [slips a store bought, pre packaged 5-piece set of sissy jewelry into Billie Jaye's hands], listen, are you telling me that nowhere in your closet is a little red riding hood costume? And I promise no more than five sneaky photos of you on your knees in front of me and the hood can even be up, just as long as you successful bring my cock down and, oh, a game console and a group of naked people having "after sex" cigarettes in your living room!"

[Swish, swoosh]

Oh no, those cigarettes may have come from my growing bucket of party supplies, but oh no, there is no smoking in my cottage house! Also, I do not accept the title of sissy, so I put the jewelry down on the table by the front door and also, also, huh, MILFs are MILFs for a reason and look pretty damn good naked! But no smoking in the house!

[Puff, wheeze, puff, wheeze, puff, wheeze, puff, wheeze, puff, wheeze]

"Ahem! Those party supplies are meant to used outdoors, so, ahem!"

"(Tee he, whisper, tee he, whisper, tee he, whisper, tee he, whisper, tee he, tee he) and then the Police Officer says "in what universe doesn't a special boy accept ankle bracelets and handcuffs", tee he."

"Oh, I have a better one, Mrs. Blackstone and it's from my, tee he, friend, Ben (tee he, whisper, tee he, whisper, tee he, whisper, tee he, whisper, tee he, tee he), and then the Surgeon says "in what universe was that an alley blow job as opposed to a good old fashioned face fucking, tee he, oh, Billie Jaye, um, ooh, ooh, we just heard a new joke and oops, so, well, anyways, Billy Jaye, this is what naked people look like, so, so what?"

[Puff, wheeze, puff, wheeze, puff, wheeze, puff, wheeze, puff, wheeze]