Birds and Bees

"Stability and a loving home?"

She glared at me.

"No, jackass. What's something we used to beg Mama and Daddy for all the time but never got?"

"Uh...I give up."

"A dog!"

"Oh."

"You should get one!"

"Eh...I don't know."

"Oh come on! A dog is a wonderful companion. We had one in my house in L.A., and I loved him to death. I'd feel a whole lot better leaving here in a few days if I knew there were a dog here to keep you company and watch over you."

"What about Emma Jean?"

"I know!" she exclaimed, not acknowledging my comment in the slightest, "I'll check the local animal shelter and see what they have in stock. You stay here and do your farm thing, I know I got you behind on your work yesterday. When I return, I'll have your new best friend with me!"

I gathered our plates and took them over to the sink, trying to think of the nicest way to say thanks, but no thanks.

"Gee Rhiannon," I said as I started rinsing the dishes, keeping my back to her so I wouldn't have to see the look of disappointment on her face when I turned down her idea. "I love that you're thinking of my best interests, but I don't really feel that-"

The sound of the front door shutting stopped me mid-sentence.

"Uh, Rhiannon?"

I made it to the front window just in time to see Rhiannon merrily skipping to her car, then watched as she pulled out of the driveway.

"Goddamnit."

*

After lunch, I was just starting to worry about how long Rhiannon had been gone when she finally arrived.

"Hey, there you are," I said as she walked in the door. "What took you so long?"

"Well, first I went to Plainville shelter, but they really didn't have anything that I thought suited you. So then I drove to Algrove, but they were closed. Finally, after driving all the way out to Millokie, I found the perfect fit for you."

"Alright, well...where's the dog, then?"

"Umm...your new best friend is just out the door behind me. You ready to meet her?"

"Sure, let's see the mangy mutt."

"Okay! Come on, girl!"

I watched as my new dog slowly emerged into view. She had thin, wiry hair, a short tail, a pink complextion, and four hooves.

"Um, Rhiannon?"

"Yes?"

"That's not a dog."

"Correct."

"That's a pig."

"Yes."

"She can't stay here, Rhiannon."

"Aw, come on Benji! She needs a home. I've read all about it, they make just as good pets as dogs, if not better. She's already potty trained, too. Come on, give her a chance."

The pig came right up to me, sniffed my hand, and sat down on my feet.

"But Rhiannon, it's a pig!"

"Oh, gee, I'm sorry. I didn't realize that you and your house chicken were so particular about who you let live here. My bad."

"But...I just..."

I looked at the pig once more. She looked back at me, snorted, then positioned her head on my hand, silently encouraging me to scratch her ear.

"Ugh, fine!"

"Yay! I'm so happy for you, Ben!"

"Yeah, whatever. But if she causes me any trouble over the next couple of days-"

"Then I'll return her myself before I leave."

"Okay then."

"So what are you gonna call her then?"

"Hmm...how about-"

"And don't you dare say 'Bacon' or 'Chops' or anything."

I paused, deep in thought.

"Ribs?"

"Ben!"

"Just kidding...how 'bout Beatrice?"

Rhiannon thought about it for a second, then smiled.

"Perfect!"

"Great! So then it's settled, her name is Beatrice Belle Quincy."

Rhiannon looked at me with a very puzzled look.

"Well that's an oddly specific...wait a sec, Ben!"

"What?"

"'B.B.Q.'?!"

"Oh...huh. I guess those would be her initials. What a fun coincidence!"

"You're such an idiot."

Rhiannon stayed in the house with Beatrice while I finished up my work for the day, coming inside around three o'clock or so.

"Hey Ben?" she called out as soon as I entered the house.

"Yeah?"

"What's the deal with all this honey?"

I stepped into the pantry to find Rhiannon on her hands and knees, counting jars of honey on the bottom shelf.

"Oh," I said. "I guess with everything that's been going on, I haven't had time to tell you about my bees."

"You have bees?"

"Yeah, a shit ton, too!"

"Damn Ben, you become more interesting by the minute."

"Uh...thanks?"

"What do you sell it for?"

"Five dollars a pint."

Rhiannon pulled out her phone and got real quiet as she sat on the floor, moving her fingers around with lightning speed.

"Dude, you are way underselling your product."

"I am?"

"Totally. Raw, unfiltered honey like this? From what I'm reading, you should double your prices, at least."

"But people won't buy it if it's too expensive, will they?"

"Actually, people often associate price with value and quality. You market to the right population, they will see your product as a must buy. Low ball your product, they won't think it's worth anything."

I stood quietly, soaking in every word she said.

"Huh?"

"Don't worry about it. Listen, when I get back to Los Angeles, I'm going to set up a website for you, see if we can't triple your sales, or more."

"Uh, okay!"

"I may use you for this big project I have to do next year at school. Hippie folk back home would eat this honey up...literally!"

"Okay then, sounds great! Hey, you wanna go check out my hives?"

"Sure, lead the way."

We trudged out past the chicken coop through a quarter mile or so of thick forest before reaching the clearing where I kept my bees.

"Holy crap, Ben. How many bee hives do you have?"

"Twenty four, but I only take honey from a few of them every year. I could take more if I wanted, but you saw how much I have stored. I just can't sell that much of it."

Rhiannon patted my shoulder.

"I'll take care of that for you, bro. Dude, we might make some serious money off of this!"

"Awesome! Hell, I'm glad you decided to snoop around in my house while I was out."

"I'm so glad you feel that way. I checked out your computer history...dude, you need to get yourself a girlfriend."

"Shit, Rhiannon!"

She laughed hysterically.

"Just kidding! I didn't look at your computer. Although you were clearly worried that I had."

"Ugh, whatever."

"So do you have a girlfriend?"

"Well, no."

"Oh okay, just wondering."

I realized in that moment that I hadn't asked her about her relationship status, either. I really wanted to know, but I didn't want to seem weird or desperate to know or anything like that. So I decided to just stay silent for a while and bring it up a little later nonchalantly.

"No," she said suddenly.

"Huh?"

"No, I do not have a boyfriend."

"Uh...okay?"

"Oh please, like you weren't just trying to decide in your head whether you should ask me now, or bring it up 'out of nowhere' later. Just thank me for saving you the headache of trying to decide."

She had such freakish intuition.

"So how do I not remember this clearing out here?" she asked. "We spent so much time in these woods..."

"It wasn't here. I cleared it several years ago myself. Remember that little pond we used to fish in?"

"Yeah?"

"It's right through there. I still fish there sometimes."

"Oh, okay. I know where I am then, I think."

"Hey, you wanna see inside one of the hives?"

"Uh...you mean like watching a documentary on bee hives from the safety of your living room?"

"No, right here and now! C'mon, I do this all the time, it's perfectly safe. Just stay close to me, and don't make any sudden movements."

I watched her face as she nervously stared at one of the hives, watching dozens of bees come and go by the minute.

"Ben, I don't think I wanna do this."

"It'll be fine, trust me! Consider it market research, or whatever."

"You're sure it's safe?"

"Absolutely."

*

"God damn you, Ben! God damn you!"

I carried Rhiannon in my arms as I ran back through the forest towards my house.

"I'm so sorry! They've never done that before! Guess they just don't trust you or something."

"Well fuck them, and fuck you too! I must have twenty bee stings all over my arms and back, Ben. What if I'm allergic? I might die, Ben. They how would you feel?"

"I've got some allergy medicine back at the house, don't worry."

My pace never slowed a bit as I continued to run with her througb the woods. I wasn't really sure why I felt the need to carry her, it just seemed like the right thing to do. Anyway, she wasn't complaining.

"Ah, I'm gonna die!" she called out.

Well, at least she wasn't complaining about me carrying her, I mean.

We got inside the house finally, and I sat her down in one of the chairs at the kitchen table.

"Okay," I said, trying to stay as calm as I could for her sake. "I need you to take your shirt off for me."

"What!?"

"You said they stung your back, right? Well I need to get the stingers out of you, and I need to moniter them for an allergic reaction."

"Ugh! Alright, fine."

In one swift motion her shirt was off. I quickly moved to the back of her in the hopes that it would make her feel less uncomfortable about being in her bra in front of her brother.

"Alright, so they don't look too bad. I've been stung a few times myself, and these look just the same as mine always do. You know...just more of them."

I grabbed a pair of tweezers and started plucking the stingers out of her arms and back.

"Shit, this hurts, Ben. Are you sure I'm not allergic?"

"Yeah, we would have noticed by now. But just to be safe, I'll get you an anit-inflammatory pill."

I brought her the pill and some water, then searched my cabinets for baking soda. Once I found it, I poured some in a bowl with some water, grabbed a soft cloth, and sat down behind her.

"What's that?" she asked.

"Baking soda and water. Bee stings are acidic, and the alkalinity of the baking soda helps to neutralize the pain. Does that feel any better?"

"A little."

I dipped the rag in the water and slowly and softly rubbed it all over her back and arms.

"That feels really good, actually."

"Good. Do you feel any other spots that you think I might have missed?"

"Nuh-uh," she responded calmly.

I don't know why, but I really enjoyed the fact that I was able to make her feel physically comforted in that moment. Without really putting much thought into it, I set the rag down and placed my hands on her shoulders, softly rubbing her muscles. She responded very positively to that through soft moans, so I continued rubbing her shoulders for a while, then slowly moved inwards towards her neck. I kept the pressure very light, to the point where at times I was basically just lightly tracing my fingertips on the back and sides of her neck.

Eventually, I felt that an appropriate amount of time had passed, and I stopped. She slowly rotated her head towards me so that she could just barely see my face.

"Thanks, Benji."

"You're welcome. And I am so, so, so sorry."

She smiled, turning in her chair to face me completely.

"That's okay. You kinda just made up for it with all the rubbing and whatnot."

"Oh...well, good. I'm glad I was able to pleasure you."

"And pleasure me, you did."

"But hey, can you do me a favor Rhiannon?"

"Of course."

"Don't go after the bees with the cleaver. That won't really end well for you."

She sat silent, thinking it over.

"I guess I can give the honeybees a pass, just this once."

For someone who had just suffered multiple bee stings, Rhiannon spent the rest of the day in a very good mood. She cleaned up around the house some, introduced Beatrice to her surroundings, and cooked an excellent dinner of fried rice with vegetables.

By the time night came around, we were too worn out to do anything more than plop down on the couch together and watch television. A documentary about chimpanzees in Sierra Leone was on, and one tribe had just cannibalized the leader of another tribe. It was truly a relaxing way to end the evening.

Beatrice had just climbed her big body onto the couch, smartly positioning herself perfectly in reach of receiving scratches from me and Rhiannon, who sat on the opposite end.

At the end of the documentary, when the central female chimp of the show had just castrated and eaten an ex-lover's genitals, Beatrice got up and left the room, as if knowing that the show was over. I looked over at Rhiannon to find her almost asleep.

"Hey," I said to her softly, "why don't you go to bed?"

"You going to bed?" she asked without opening her eyes.

"No, there's another show coming on about penguins, and I really wanna know if they eat each other too."

"M'kay, then I'll stay up."

I pulled up the reclining footrest of my side of the sectional, laid back, and turned my attention back to the screen. Before I knew it, Rhiannon had shuffled her way over to my side of the couch and laid her head in my lap. Then she stole my blanket off of me and laid it on herself. I, of course, did not protest.

"Today was nice," she said sleepily.

"You got stung by like a million bees."

"Yeah, but then you took care of me. That part was nice."

"Oh. Yeah, guess it was."

"My favorite part was when you carried me. Too bad I was too angry and panicky to appreciate it. Ah well, maybe next time I can."

She yawned and snuggled her face into my leg.

"Next time? Next time...what?"

There was no response.

"Rhiannon?"

The change in her breathing let me know that she was asleep. I decided that the couch would be as good as any of a place to sleep that night. I turned the television off, as well as the lamp beside me, and shut my eyes.

"I love you, Rhiannon," I whispered aloud.

It may have been my imagination, but I swore I felt her hand give my leg the slightest of squeezes.

*

I awoke very early the next morning, maybe just a few minutes after sunrise. The living room slowly came into picture, and then I remembered falling asleep on the couch the night before. I felt around beside me for Rhiannon, but she wasn't there. I figured she had gone back to her comfy bed at some point in the middle of the night.

The next thing I noticed was that my hand was down the front of my shorts, firmly grasping my rock-hard morning wood. Being a young man in his early twenties, this was no unusual occurence for me, of course. I realized that I hadn't masturbated since my sister had arrived. Hell, not even since my daddy died. My body was telling me that it needed release.

I perked my ears up and listened out for noises, any sign that Rhiannon was up and moving around. I heard nothing, and decided that the time for release was upon me.

I continued to just absent-mindedly toy with myself for a while, not thinking of anything in particular, just letting my mind relax and go where it wanted to go. I was thankful that Rhiannon had gotten up. For one, she may have noticed my intense erection; and secondly, I wouldn't have been able to take care of myself if she had still been here.

But then, all at once, I decided that I wished the opposite. It was a turn on to imagine getting myself off with her head mere centimeters from my dick, innocently asleep. I started pumping myself with more controlled strokes, imagining how I could, ever so discreetly, snake my free hand under the blanket with her. My hand could caress her smooth, bare thigh, and then come up and squeeze her tight little butt while she magically slept through the whole thing.

Any guilt that I might have felt, and probably should have felt, about getting off thinking about my sister was thrown away completely. In fact, I had never been so turned on in my life than I was in that moment thinking about Rhiannon. Maybe she would wake up without me realizing it, move my hand aside, and slide her warm mouth all the way down my shaft until I bottomed out in her throat. The thought of my hand on the back of her head while she sucked and licked on my full length was taking me close to the edge. I realized that I hadn't planned this out too well since I'd have to cum in my shorts, but I didn't care. I could just run to my room when I finished and get cleaned up.

If only my sister were here, I thought. I could just cum in her mouth and avoid the mess.

"Ahem," came someone's voice from behind me.

My hand flew out of my shorts and I turned myself around to see Rhiannon, the star of my fantasy, staring down at me, smiling.

"Who were you thinking about, brother?" she asked me playfully.

"Oh, fuck me!" I said in a panic.

"From the looks of it, I probably could if I wanted to. That thing is standing tall this morning, isn't it?

"I'm going to murder myself," I muttered aloud.

"No no, now, no need for that. I get it, Ben. I've probably been cramping your style since I got here. You clearly need to do this for yourself. But maybe, and this is just my opinion, you would have been better off doing that behind closed doors."

I lowered my head into the cushion of the couch so that she couldn't my face, like a baby who thinks peek-a-boo makes them invisible. In the moment, it was by far the most humiliated I had ever felt.

"Aw, Benji, don't be ashamed," she said, placing a hand on my arm. "Just, you know, give yourself some privacy next time, like I just did."

Comprehension of her words eventually found my brain, and I slowly raised my head to look her in the face, wondering if she was just screwing with me.

She wasn't. That I knew for a fact. The look she gave me was that of a girl who was being completely honest. I knew my sister well enough to know that.

"So why don't you run on back to your room," she continued, "and finish up. I'll go start breakfast. Oh, and more thing."

She leaned over and put her face right against mine so that her mouth was almost touching my ear.

"I used your bed," she whispered. "Hope you don't mind."

She very quickly and lightly bit my earlobe before turning around and heading to the kitchen.

I went straight back to my room and shut my door, my orgasm exploding before the sound of the door closing could reach the kitchen.

*

When I got to the kitchen, a fat, overstuffed breakfast burrito was waiting for me on the table.

"What the hell am I going to do when you leave?" I asked Rhiannon, who was partway through a burrito of her own. "I'm not sure I can go back to eating instant grits and a spoonful of peanut butter for breakfast every morning."

"You know, you could just learn to, I don't know, cook simple meals for yourself?"

"Ugh, so much work. Growing up sucks."

Once our hunger was satiated, it gave us time to sit in each other's presence silently. I thought about that morning, and what the heck we were doing, what path we were headed down with each other. I studied Rhiannon's face as I thought, suspecting that she, too, was wondering the same thing.

"Hey, Rhiannon?"

"Yeah?"

"Should we talk about this morning?"

"Yeah, I was just thinking the same thing. Want me to go first?"

"Sure, if you want."

She took a deep breath before she spoke, clearly wanting to choose her words carefully.

"Alright," she began, "here goes. I think that I might-"

The sound of my phone ringing cut her off mid-sentence.

"What the hell is that, Ben?"

"My phone, dummy," I said as I started to get up from the table.

"But that ringtone...is that Spice Girls?"

"No..."

"It is! That's The Spice Girls!"

"Shut-up! It...came with the phone."

"If you wanna be my lover!" she sang to the tune of their most famous hit.

I answered, and after a brief conversation with the other person, hung up and turned back towards Rhiannon.

"Daddy's ashes are ready."

"Oh."

"I'm gonna go get them this morning."

"Right. Can I...do you mind if I come?"

"Of course. I was kinda hoping you would."

"Oh, good."

We sat in silence for a bit longer. I wasn't having any deep thoughts or anything, just enjoying Rhiannon's comany.