All Comments on 'Birthday Pool Party Ch. 41'

Great story so far and hope is all well for your personal life, I know it's hard when someone passes. As you were saying the name for the story is fine and since you said ending it in a handful of chapters should end it with a birthday pool party before making a sequel like maybe the birth of Hazel's baby. Can't wait for more chapters and again hope you are feeling better.

Another great chapter thank you. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Great work. Worth the wait. Thank you. 5

So glad you are back!

Great as always, just hope u dint do anything crazy with April.

Well done Witty! Another amazing chapter. I can not wait for the next chapter, so many things to play out. Thank you for taking the time to write such a brilliant and remarkable story.

I'm just spitballing here, but I see one of two options. April went to go pee, so it's possible she snuck in an EPT, and she's pregnant from their threesome with Barry. Or, the most likely option I think, she caught Steven fucking Kayla, and is in shock. Or I could be wrong on all counts. We'll see. Great chapter as always. 5/5 stars.

Dewey Cheatham

Glad to have you back. Hope your personal life gets back to normal. My hunch is April walked in on Steven and Kayla. Maybe just wishful thinking on my part; that's not something I'm normally drawn to but I've been looking forward to it again since you handled them so well earlier in the series. Looking forward to whatever you have planned for the next chapter. Again, great having you back!

MUNDANE

adjective

common; ordinary; banal; unimaginative.

Have you ever asked a friend or partner how their day went, and then they launch into a moment by moment account of their day. Sure, a few interesting things occurred, but most of what they say is . . . mundane.

That’s what reading this chapter - and many chapters in this story - was like. A few interesting and exciting things were described but so much was far too banal to be of interest.

In your future stories, which I fully intend to read, please, please, PLEASE just include the salient details. Throw in a few “later that day” or “several hours later” segues. Write better, not more.

Excellent, Witty, as always!

April is preggos with dickhead Barry's kid!! The drama of it all.

Welcome back, glad the personal things have improved for you. Such an exciting and open-ended cliffhanger, can wait for more!

@Rapierwit24601 when are you going to write a story so all of us can critique your writing? Apparently you haven't grasped the concept of the story, nor life itself yet. As life itself can be mundane at times, so would a story depicting the day to day life of its characters. There is an old saying, 'If you don't have anything good to say, don't say anything at all.' Usually your comments have a glimmer, just a small smidge of something good to say; but not this one. The point of commenting is to offer amateur writers encouragement and a little bit of constructive criticism. What you offer is almost purely negative all the time and yet you have still not submitted any of your writings for review. Is this because of another old saying, 'those who can't do, teach.' I would love to see what sort of masterpiece you could present to us. Until you submit your own writings for criticism, maybe you should consider toning done your negativity when a story doesn't meet your golden ideals.

Welcome Back! OUTSTANDING and 5 plus Stars for the top shelf entertainment and the well developed and well written chapter. Great storytelling and the character development is best in class. Just love this group and hope this goes on for many more fun and sexually entertaining chapters. It is always fresh and has good drama that always keeps the readers wanting more. So keep up the excellent work and continue to rock these sexually addicted players rocking on. Cheers

Loved reading this chapter. Glad you are back. Pretty sure April saw something unexpected. So much going on and so many threads slowly coming together. How pregnant is Hazel? This is coming along very well. Just keep writing as you have. It's anything but mundane, you just squeezed 2 days into 9 pages.

Someone mentioned April could be pregnant and that's a good possibility. I think maybe she saw Steven and Kayla doing something since they went upstairs together and April followed. I guess time will tell,

@Dewey Cheatham. I don't think April would sneak in an EPT. Stacey would have noticed April's self-checkups of that nature ever since Drew and Luke in addition to Barry. How could Stacey not notice the hormonal changes? Also, if April thought she was pregnant, I don't think she was going to slamming down that much wine. I agree with the idea that April saw the two of them fucking. I mean it's kind of strange for Steven to walk with Kayla when she mentioned that she needed to change out of her bra. Also, I think that Steven's office is not in the same direction of the bedrooms. Not to mention, it's not like his phone buzzed and got the idea to prep a time-sensitive response email. If he knew he needed to do this email the whole time, he could have done it way earlier and didn't need Kayla's arrival as an excuse to do it. Another option I'm considering is that April is sick, coughing up/passing blood kind of sick. The illness has reached the point where April can't hide it anymore.

@Rapierwit24601. I find myself agreeing with TheJoker33. I read your post on Suzie's Twenty-Five Acts. it was filled with understanding, explanations, and even personal details relating to the story. I thought a corner was being turned.

@TheJoker33. I wholeheartedly concur. When it comes to Rapier24601's comments, I'm reminded of Tyler's scenes in The Menu. Tyler is constantly breaking down the chef's courses, all the while Chef Slowik (Witty) is trying to provide us gourmandizers (readers) with an experience. As for your challenge, I'm fascinated with the idea of a literary equivalent of when Slowik gives Tyler a chance to cook. Witty hooks up Rapier with a chef tunic and writes Rapier24601 on the tunic with a magic marker. Then Witty says, "Rapier24601, I'm proud of you. Rapier24601, now...write. Write. You're a writer. Write. Write. Write! WRITE! Go on now. What do you need? We have everything. Don't be frightened. Rapier24601 is now going to demonstrate his wordsmithing expertise." All the while, you're telling Dewey Cheatham, Woodencav, LazyDiogenes, cbsteel87, rjr_1954, SSFguy, AccelarVester, Ic69hunter, etc., "Please rise to observe the demonstration." I think Witty is too classy to ask Rapier24601, "Would you like some s--t?" But I can picture Rapier24601 saying that he's done writing and then Witty replying, "You think it's done? Are you sure? Maybe you want to jam it into Grammarly?"

@Qwer12. I never thought Witty left. He kept us updated. He was with us the whole time.

@cbsteel87. I think Hazel is at about 5-6 weeks pregnant considering Spring Break happened after Easter and Memorial Day happened not that long ago.

@MikeInMemphis. The tricky scene I'm wondering about is April trying to carefully break the news that she saw Steven and Kayla. Then April is ready to catch Stacey in case she collapses from the shocking news only to for Stacey to tell April that she knew even before April came onto the scene. I wonder how April is going to take that. The good ol' "Why didn't you tell me?" Or maybe something really unexpected like April saying, "Wow! Seriously!? Now I really want to fuck Steven! And Kayla, now that I think of it! At the same time!"

First time commenter - have read all 41 chapters to date and love the BPP story line. Can't wait to hear about what happens to April, the girls' graduation and beyond, including Hazel's baby (which if memory serves me correctly, would be due around Christmas). As a suggestion, I think Steven's YouInvest acquisition is an area of opportunity and expansion. Steven is always strong for Kayla and the girls, but as we saw a couple chapters ago, he didn't do well when things are out of control. It could be interesting - for instance - for him to discover after the fact that YouInvest is actually being sold because it is involved in illicit activity (e.g. money laundering, fraud, racketeering). Drawing a criminal investigation from the FBI, Steven would not be in control pending the outcome, and need the strength of those he loves (instead of the other way around) as everyone's livelihood would be at stake. Dectective McLorn could also be involved, on Steven's side, helping to clear his name and save the company. Just some food for thought in future chapter(s). Keep up the great work!

@everyone Chapter 42 has been submitted to Literotica. It should go live in a couple of days!

@Blackout6661 Things are getting better in my personal life, thank you! I appreciate the comment!

@Woodencav Thanks!

@Anonymous I appreciate the 5 stars!

@Anonymous Glad to be back!

@Mardrac Happy to be here! You'll find out about April in 42!

@TheJoker33 Thanks, as always!

@Dewey Cheatham I love your comments! And I hope you like what ultimately happens with April!

@Lazy Diogenes I'm glad to be back! I'm happy you enjoyed the chapter! You'll find out soon if your guess is correct!

@Rapierwit24601 I do know what mundane means, thanks! :P I try to be better about describing too many ordinary things, but not every other paragraph can have something earth-shattering! I'll keep working on it. I'm glad to hear you intend to read future stories.

@Anonymous Thanks!!

@Anonymous I wonder if your guess is correct. We'll find out!

@CaptainFrostBite Glad you're excited for more!

@TheJoker33 Thanks again for the comment!

@Qwer12 Thanks for the 5 stars, and I'm so happy you enjoy the story. I love reading your comments! :)

@cbsteel87 Hazel got pregnant in mid-April. I actually worked out dates for moving forward. Using Suzie's Twenty-Five Acts as a guide, the story takes place in 2025. This chapter(41) ends on Thursday 12 June, 2025. So, Hazel is about 7-8 weeks pregnant as of this chapter. Every pregnancy is different, but it's perfectly normal for her not to be showing yet.

@MikeinMemphis Both good guesses! We'll see what the truth is soon!

@Kintsukuroi I love the long, thought out comments. It's great seeing discussions about the story happening. Steven's office is in a different direction from the bedrooms, but he just wanted to send a quick email, and I have established that he does keep a computer in the master bedroom. Thanks again for the great comments!

@Anonymous Happy to see someone new commenting! I'm glad you are looking forward to the future. Based on the date of conception, Hazel is probably due in the first-second week of January. I'd love to get more into the business stuff, I'll have to write more about that. I find it interesting, but I was worried it might be boring! Detective McLorn saving Steven's butt would definitely be fun to write, though! Thanks for reading!

-Witty

On page 1, Steven's mind flashes through irreplaceable women in his life and he immediately thinks: Lexi, Stacy, Nicole, followed by Hazel?

WTF???

You forgot KAYLA?!?!?!

Witty, it's obvious both you and Steven are overwhelmed by too many women to keep track of.

#1: Nicole is a superfluous redundant distraction. She needs to go away to performing arts school or the navy or a church mission or something.

#2: yes a detective friend is very helpful to both the family and the plotline, but she doesn't need to be a slut sister. She should meet the hunky & talented CSO of the post merger company.

#3+: Marcia, Ashley, Stephanie stay through the summer then fly away to out of state universities.

Lastly, optional but it would be better for everyone involved if Kayla found a man who isn't her father (or found out mom cheated).

@Anonymous. Things were out of control when Kayla and Lexi were kidnapped but was able to keep his cool. I think he got paranoid with Hazel at the hospital because the episode is quite similar to how Aria died. As for YouInvest being crooked, if it is proven that Steven is doing his due diligence, then that really would help if the feds get called. Other than Stacey and Paul Jacobs, I don't think they could help beyond moral support. Sarah could help but if the financial crimes unit is on the case or worse the FBI, IRS, etc. then I don't think she'll be kept in the loop.