All Comments on 'Birthday Treat'

I struggle to understand why authors do not consider they are writing for an audience and not their special someone. Switching between first person and second person is very distracting thereby taking away from being able to enjoy the story. My feeling this would have been a much better story had the story kept 1st person perspective.

Now pull the trigger

If you want to write about humiliation fetishes please put the stories in the fetish section.

Please don't troll the LW section.

You seemed to have worked up the story police but I for one thought this was a great first story and hope you do not get discouraged but continue writing. Gave it a five rating.

Sorry i was confused between page one and two. But i would think this should be in BDSM or FETISH? The two are close together, so that is left to you. I never much like first person stories, but good luck.

return the gift, and get a new and better one. she and whomever should have each other and leaved him alone.

After the first few paragraphs, I gave up reading. This style of writing is irritating to read. Sorry.

I suppose it's good if this style of writing is your thing.

One should realize that the reader may NOT be female, so to use "you" constantly can drive the reader away, as it did me.

I didn't make it past the first two paragraphs.

Not to mention it's in the wrong category, just as others have said. BDSM seemed to be a predominant theme (notice the word predominant has "dom" in it); Fetish (for the creampie), or maybe even Nonconsent. The only reason I gave it a 2 instead of a 1 is the writing was not badly done (technically speaking). Blackmail with a video and the threat to release it to the public, yup, that's a real sign of a wife who loves her husband. Maybe he'd need to move far away, but if he were a man, he would tell her he's leaving and filing for divorce. Maybe he can even find the tape before leaving, and destroy it? She could not have had much time to hide it, now could she, what with all the games and her meticulous preparation in her "black" dress trolling for a fucking . . .

Post it there.

You can't please all the people, all the time, as they say. For me it was a very hot story. Not all that original, but well worth a read.

It is one thing to do this life style when both parties agree unalaterialy not when one is tied up. but what would happen if when she came back to the house and hubby is not only gone but the house is burnt to the ground.and the police are asking all kinds of questions.Or she comes home and is strangled and not found for several days.

your descriptive powers are undeniable....but I think you do a little too much of it. This story had many "tags" within it so choice of category is moot.... though some seem to think it's the most important thing since sliced bread. The story seems to be taking the blackmail route though I believe the cuckolded husband has tendencies toward submission. Maybe you should emphasize these traits in him which could lead to other branches of the story tree. Nothing was said about his humiliation yet, so maybe there are no submissive tendencies. One mention of "sissy" so I have to wonder if She will be taking him there. Anyway, I will move on to the next installment which I see waiting.

4 stars.

I wonder if you can get the divorce papers ready in time for her birthday present? Or the first available reason to give her a gift. Could be a TGIF. Any reason will do to get the bitch out the door and down the road, permanently away from you.

And bad to boot!

Threatening to send a video of him sucking a dildo would be a little embarrassing to him but after a conversation about what she did, she'd be the one on the outs with everyone. And since he's restrained, anything he agrees to would have no bearing in their divorce, since its under duress. The worst is when she tells him the key to the handcuffs is in the pillow case. And how exactly is a man, with his hands supposedly cuffed to the corners of the bed frame going to reach a key and unlock the cuffs. STUPID! And the rest? When she gets home, she'll find all her stuff in garbage bags on the doorstep. She's going to be free to fuck anyone since he's going to divorce the abusive cheating slut. And if she objects? Remember those pictures of him? That's called illegal restraint and sexual assault. She made his Court case against her. This has to be one of the dumbest bitches in the annals of story telling. I can't believe I wasted my time to read this drivel. A "1".

*

sexy from start to finish, stylish, and even if the premises are clearly fantasy the emotions described are easy to relate to. i can't wait to read more from this author.

You should thank her for making a video record of her slutting around. That way you have all the evidence you need for the divorce. And since she's such a whore, you get to keep the lion's share of the marital assets. And I bet you would have paid big money to see the expressions on all her families and friends faces when they opened the link to your e-mail and watched her performance for themselves. Could she have been any dumber? Could this story be any worse?

She has no control he doesn't give her. Whether he agrees or not, she isn't doing anything. He makes the money, he makes the rules. She doesn't agree? Give her a divorce. The gift that keeps on giving. When your story has unlikeable, stupid characters it's impossible to have a story worth reading. This isn't. Worth reading.

"...By the way, all this is all being videoed so if you try to back out, then don't be surprised if the part with you sucking on the vibrator finds its way into the mailbox of everyone you know." Now its the time to sue the slut with the video evidence! She will be toast asap!! Throw the slut out and go on with a happy life! But the mainspring to that crap was only your lechery so it comes out in the open that you are only a little wimp/cucki!!!

No one is going to care about him sucking on a vibrator. Once the video is made of her conditions, he simply takes it away from her and takes it to his attorney. He files for a divorce and uses the video and her Ashley Madison account as leverage. All her family and friends WOULD care about her attitude and attempted blackmail. So she leaves the marriage with her jewelry, her clothes and her maiden name. End to a really poorly thought out story. I'm STILL laughing at how bad this was.

1 star

What kind of idiot posts something this garbage offensive to anyone close to human?

SKIP IT. NOT WORTH READING.