Bittersweet Homecoming

She licked around the head a few times to catch the pre-cum still leaking out, hummed in satisfaction and brought him back into her mouth and as far down as she could take him, leaving about an inch and a half of his nine inches of thick cock untouched by her lips. This made her angry at herself. However the tightness of her throat on his cock head was more than enough for him.

He felt his orgasm roll over him and warned her, "Fuck, I'm cumming."

He grabbed her hair tightly with both hands and began to thrust up into her mouth forcefully and repeatedly in short quick strokes. She loved his control over her and moaned with his full dick in her mouth, the hard thrusting getting the last inch down her throat that she desperately wanted to feel. She choked and gagged, tears sprouting from her eyes as he bruised her throat.

Afia moaned and Connor grunted, then whimpered as the first cum shot splattered the back of her throat and continued to fuck her mouth as he came over and over again. It was like hot cocoa on a cold, winter day to her, thick and warm filling her mouth, and she happily swallowed every single shot he gave her.

Connor kept pumping until every last drop was released, then fell against the couch panting and exhausted. Then he remembered himself as Afia was still glued to him through his cock in her mouth. He looked down at her as she slowly came off, licking up any last remnants of cum from his swollen gland and gently took him out of her mouth. She used the bottom of her shirt to wipe the tears on her face, then she leaned back on the other side of the couch and looked at him with an unreadable expression.

Connor stared at her, then said, "Holy shit."

"Holy. Shit." she responded. Then he started giggling, making her stoic expression go from a smirk to giggling as well.

He stood up and fixed his pants and said, "Thank... you...?" He said it as a question mark because he had no idea what else to say.

"Any...time?" she responded back as a question mark, making him laugh again.

After he buckled his jeans he leaned over and she lifted up her head to kiss his lips. Then he moved back on the couch, knelt between her legs, licked his lips and kissed her neck. She sighed and said, "Connor, no. That wasn't anything more than what it was. I wanted to do that for you. It's what you needed."

He leaned up and looked her in the eyes. "So you don't want me to return the favor?"

A huge part of her did, it had been so long since her cunt had been sucked properly. But she told him, "No. I wouldn't want to confuse you. Or myself. I'm fine."

He gave her a look of disbelief and put his hand between her legs. She tried to close her thighs but two of his fingers were already rubbing the fabric outside of her soaking wet black tights. He cocked his head to the side and smirked as she trembled a bit.

She smiled and said, "None of my clothes are coming off, Con."

He nodded. "Okay."

He leaned back into her neck and began to leave wet kisses there. "Connor," she said warningly.

He ignored her and reached up under her shirt to caress her small breasts, pinching her nipples through her thin bra. Her body shuddered accidentally proving his suspicion. "He doesn't take care of you, does he?" he whispered in her ear, then nibbled it.

She didn't answer but she knew she didn't need to. He already knew. He turned his hand around and didn't stop moving until he was inside of her tights and panties, and touched her wet vagina. "Oh God, Connor," she whispered, but she allowed it, opening up her thighs wider.

She closed her eyes, wrapped her arms around his neck and let him rub her clit in a steady, circular motion and suck her neck. It took little to no time at all for her body to become flushed and her nerves engorged between his middle and index finger. She moaned as her thighs shook and her orgasm swept over her.

Connor rubbed faster and leaned up to watch her face as she climaxed, literally shaking in his hands, calling out, "Yes! Yes! Fuck! Yes! Ah!"

He slowed down just a bit for her to catch her breath, then shook her clit side to side. She threw her head back and moaned long and loud as she climaxed a second time, soaking her tights a little bit more, one tear rolled down her cheek, wetting her lashes.

"Holy shit," he said quietly and kissed her cheek, tasting her salty tear.

He slowed down all the way and then eased his wet fingers from her tights. She opened her eyes and continued breathing labored as he watched her, their faces an inch apart. He brought his wet fingers to her open mouth and she closed them around it and sucked, never breaking eye contact.

"Holy shit," he said for the third time that night.

He removed his fingers and kissed her passionately, licking her tongue and sucking on hers and she returned the kiss. Their tongues danced as if they had known each other all their lives for the next five minutes, sucking lips and licking each other's mouths, hands in each other's hair. He could tell she was hungry for passion and he was ready to give it to her, but she pulled away first.

She said in a very rushed way, "Okay, I'm going to go now before we do something that we might regret later."

He searched her face with his eyes first, then let it go. "Okay."

He moved off her and she stood up, grabbed her wine glass and drank the rest in one gulp. He grabbed his cigarettes on the coffee table and lit one, and watched her put on her knee high winter boots then grab her coat not looking at him at all.

As she made it to the door, he called out to her, "Afia."

She turned to him. He took a drag first. "Break up with his ass. He's not the one for you," he told her plainly as he exhaled.

She let a moment pass. "Neither are you, Connor," she told him back just as plainly. They stared at each other then Connor conceded with a nod. Then she walked out the door.

~~~

Connor's phone went off at 5am the next morning, buzzing with texts. He groaned and looked at it and saw four texts from Jack.

Jack F: Wake up, I'm outside.

Jack F: WAKE UP CONNOR!

Jack F: WAAAAAAAKE UUUUUPP!!

Jack F: I will ring the doorbell and wake your whole house up. GTFU!

Connor: Jesus fucking Christ Jack, WHAT!

Jack F: Get dressed. We're going for a run :D

Connor: GTFOH. It's like negative 0 degrees outside.

Jack F: Actually it's 5. So dress warm. You have five minutes.

Connor groaned again and looked up at his ceiling in the dark. He touched his morning wood remembering Afia's blow job the night before and smiled as it twitched in his hand. Maybe she was onto something.

He got out the bed to go pee and put on thermals, then a pair of sweatpants with his thickest hoodie. He grabbed socks and found a pair of old sneakers in the closet, and went downstairs to grab his coat, wool hat and thick gloves. He opened the front door and Jack was dressed in all black, topping it off in a black skully hat, green eyes sparkling, bouncing around in the cold.

"Seriously, Jack?" he groaned at him.

He patted his shoulder. "Let's go." He turned around and started jogging. Connor sighed and caught up with him.

They didn't talk as they ran and it left Connor to ruminate. He realized that he had a dreamless and restful sleep, the first since Vinnie died. Maybe he could attribute it to Afia awakening him or maybe it was just because he was home and a bit removed from the military base where they spent all their time together. He hadn't done any exercise in the week since he'd been home and felt rusted in his muscles but he was grateful for the run. The crisp air was waking him up and breathing life into him.

Jack took him around Wincheck Pond and after about three miles they ended up at his family farm. On the steps was a water bottle. He took a big sip, and handed it to Connor who also took a swig. Then he sat on the porch steps. Connor sat next to him and together they watched the sun rise.

Jack spoke first, his breath visible in front of his mouth. "I do this every morning, you know. Run a 5k. 3.2 miles in a straight run. It's what I do to clear my head and get focused for the day. Especially if I had bad dreams about my parents' murder. Some days I can't get the image of their bodies or the screams out of my head. Some days it's the complete opposite and I can't remember their voices. Some days are better than others and I may not need to do it. But every day I run, rain or shine, cold or heat. It's the one thing that helps me feel like me."

Connor was speechless. Jack had never talked about his parents who had died when he was just a child, so he had no idea that they were murdered or that Jack was there. But he knew Jack was confiding in him and this conversation was not to be shared with another person. He let Jack continue.

"I don't know what you're going through, Connor. I haven't lost someone that I was intimately involved with before. But I do know what it's like to have someone you love die in front of you. And I know what it's like to want to join them. But here's the thing. I also know that they are wanting me to carry on, rooting for me to make it another day without them. Because they loved me that much. I feel it every day in the beat of my heart. And I know you do too. Just know that I may not completely get it, but I'm always here to listen."

Connor sighed. He rubbed his tattoo of Vinnie's initials through his gloves as a reminder that he was loved unconditionally once. "I don't even know who I am anymore, Jack. I was one person when I left here at 18 and became a totally different person over in Iraq, and then I fell in love with a man and became another version of myself when I was with him. Now I'm not any of those people. I don't even know, am I still bi? Am I fully gay? I don't know. All I know is that I just don't feel like me."

"That's because you're not you anymore," Jack told him. "You're a different person because of everything you've been through. It's time to discover who the new you is. But you can't do that hiding in your room every day."

Jack stood up. "And you're too hung up on labels. If you want to sleep with guys, sleep with guys. If you want to sleep with girls, sleep with girls. If you want to do both, fuck it Connor, do both. Find a rando guy or sleep with Afia again to see if that's what you want. There are no rules about how you feel about someone so stop giving yourself rules."

Connor's face scrunched up. "What makes you think I slept with-"

Jack held out his hand to stop him. "Don't bother lying about it. Con. I know something changed between the two of you at prom. And I know she'll never tell me because she thinks she betrayed me somehow. I don't care...well I cared back then but honestly I don't care now. All I care about is both of you finding your happiness, whether it's together or with other people."

Connor looked at him and then decided to change the subject. "So how do I start discovering the new me?"

Jack said, "I'm going out Thursday night with a few friends of mine. I'm taking you with me."

Connor smirked. "And when you say friends...?"

Jack smirked back. "We're all just friends. But we like to hang out at a lounge in Providence together. There is no one like us in Rockville, unless you count Mr. Jarten and Mr. Lovell, the 'roommates'." They snickered.

Mr. Jarten and Mr. Lovell share a house together and everyone knows they are more than best friends who split a mortgage but no one mentions it in their small town. "Two of my friends live in Ashaway, one in Hope Valley and the other in Bradford. All small town gay gays who hang out in Providence to be ourselves. I'm inviting you out with us."

Connor stood up as well. "Leave it up to you to find all the gay men in Hopkinton County," he laughed. "Okay. Let's go out, let's see what's out there. I think I'm ready to discover the new me."

Jack patted his back. "C'mon, I'll walk you back. And you'll tell me about Vinnie. Not how he died. But who he was. How he lived. How you fell in love. I want to hear all of it."

Connor smiled. "Vincent Luca Barrone, from Houston, Texas. Pure Italian. Soft brown hair, dark brown eyes, pearly white teeth and a Texas twang. Everything about him was beautiful, even his laugh."

He told Jack of falling in love with a subordinate and making him a part of his squad just so he could get closer to him and all the time they spent together. Jack laughed with him about the funny moments, like almost getting caught fucking in the barracks, or how Vinnie was a huge Akon fan and would sing Locked Up or Mr. Lonely at the most random times pissing off the C.O's. The first time they had sex, and then the first time they made love.

How they got matching tattoos with each other's initials on it, so if they were in the same space with others around, then simply needed to rub the initials on their wrists to say I love you as a secret code. By the time they made it back to Connor's house Jack, his first love, knew everything about Vinnie, his second love.

Connor turned to Jack at his doorstep. "Thank you, Jack. Thank you for always being there for me."

"And I always will be," Jack said sincerely. They hugged each other tightly.

The front door opened and Connor's father was standing there. Connor pulled away from Jack abruptly. "Dad. Sir."

Owen McIntyre had an unfriendly expression on his face. He looked at Jack, then at Connor. "Where have you been all morning?"

"I just went for a run with Jack." He looked at his friend and then back at his father.

"Good morning, Mr. McIntyre," Jack said respectfully.

"Jack," Connor's father said curtly. He turned back to his son. "Get inside, Connor. Mass is in one hour."

"Yes, sir." He turned to Jack. "See you in the pews."

Jack smiled at him. "See you in the pews." he repeated. He left and Connor followed his father inside.

As Connor went toward the stairs his father called after him, "Connor."

Connor turned around. "Sir?"

"You know he's a sissy, right?" his father said.

Connor bit back his tongue. It angered him that his father referred to Jack in that way. That he would refer to his own son in that way if he ever knew. "Sir, yes I know that Jack is gay. He's also one of my best friends since we were kids."

Mr. McIntyre moved swiftly and got right in Connor's face. Connor stepped back until the heels of his sneakers hit the bottom of the stairs, afraid that his father, who was inches taller and physically stronger, would hit him.

"You be very careful about the company you keep," he threatened. "I don't want people thinking my son is a fruitcake too."

Connor was burning with rage inside, but kept calm and said, "Sir, yes sir. Can I go now? Sir?"

He knew if he said anything more than that his father would have no qualms about plummeting him with his fists. His father stared at him some more, then nodded. Connor turned and went upstairs to his room, closed the door and exhaled, already thinking about his next exit plan from his family.

~~~

Afia was at the counter helping a customer when Connor walked in. He waited patiently until it was his turn then went up to her with a smile. She smiled back.

He started, "You didn't call me all week."

She scoffed. "You didn't call me either."

He let a moment pass, then said, "I'm sorry, Afia. I shouldn't have let it get that far."

"You think you have that much power over me? I just couldn't help myself?" she said sarcastically and giggled making him giggle too. "I wanted to do it, so I did it. Don't flatter yourself." She shrugged.

The truth was, Afia didn't call him because she was becoming afraid of her sexual feelings for him. Connor was always undoubtedly attractive but their connection was rooted in their childhood friendship. Now that they were both adults and hadn't seen each other in years, it was hard for her to see Connor as anything but a very handsome man with a long and thick cock that she dreamed about every night since she gave him a blow job. She wanted more of it and needed to put some distance between him and her to make it stop.

He nodded. "Okay Lovie. So we're cool?"

"Always," she said to her best friend. "Now get out of here so I can get some work done."

He was thoughtful. "Let's go to the movies. The Pursuit of Happyness came out last Friday. We can both drool over Will Smith."

She laughed. "I don't think it's that kind of movie but... When? Tonight?"

"Yeah. Tonight."

"Okay. I'll come get you."

"No, I will pick you up. I bought a car from my dad's dealership," he told her proudly. "I got a car note but at least it's mine. Infiniti 50, brand new."

"Look at you, all fancy," she teased. "So that's what you were doing this week, riding around in your new whip?"

"No, I was hanging out with Jack actually."

"Yeeeaaah?" Afia asked excitedly.

He laughed. "I don't know if anything will happen between us in the future but I need his friendship more than anything else right now. He knew it before I did, that eventually I would need him in my life in this way. So stop phishing. We're friends. He took me to a lounge to meet his friends yesterday and we're going to hang this weekend with them. He's taking me clubbing. Our kind of clubbing," he told her knowingly.

"I would invite myself but something tells me I shouldn't." He laughed again. "Okay well, pick me up at 8 oclock, I gotta work, there is a line forming behind you." She pointed.

He turned to see two more people, then turned back to her. "I love you, Lovie."

"I love you too, Connor."

~~~~~~

A little over a month later, Connor, Afia, Winter and Mina met up at Manhattan Bagel for lunch, laughing at Mina and Winter's latest sexcapades. "So yeah," Mina said, "I'm just a big believer now, it really isn't the size of the boat, but the motion of the ocean."

"You wouldn't say that if it was a paddle boat," Connor joked and they all giggled.

"I can't wait for our ski trip this weekend, Mina," Winter said. "I could use a break, I've been working non-stop."

"Me too, that nursing program is kicking my ass," she lamented. "The twins will be a wonderful stress reliever. Gavin and Edwin are excited too."

"You guys are never going to see the snow," Afia said knowingly and they all giggled again.

"You can still come with us, you know," Winter reminded her. "Just because stuffy ass Derek doesn't want to go shouldn't stop your fun."

"And be the fifth wheel? No thanks," Afia said with the shake of her head.

"Bring Connor," Mina said looking at him. "You two can actually go skiing."

"It wouldn't be a bad idea except I start my new job on Tuesday after the holiday, and asking for time off on my first week is not a good look."

"Oh that's right. Comcast?"

"Yep. Next time you call your cable service provider it just might be my voice on the other end."

"Well we'll miss you while we're gone," Winter said.

"Yeah, right. You'll be face down, ass up, without one care in the world of what Afia and I are doing this weekend," said Connor.

"Hmmm... You're right about that," she said seductively, her hazel eyes sparkling with excitement.

The four of them hugged an hour later with a promise to do it again next Wednesday, same time, same place. "This should be our ritual," Mina said, and they all agreed.

Connor and Afia walked back to his car so he could take her home, and they talked about the wild adventures that their two friends were getting into. "What are we doing this weekend, Con?" Afia asked him on the drive back to Rockville from Providence. "It's a three day weekend."

"I'm going out with Jack's friend Aiden Saturday night," Connor told her.

"Really!?" she asked excitedly, making him laugh.

"Calm down, Lovie, we're just hanging out at Dave and Busters."

"That sounds like a date to me." He laughed again but didn't answer. She reached over and touched his thigh. "Hey, it's okay if it is," she said quietly.