Bittersweet Irish Cream Ch. 14

Then he looked down at baby Jackie who fell back asleep in his arms. "She certainly is a dream, isn't she?" he said softly. He touched her red hair gently and looked at her lovingly. Ethan smiled. He had a growing suspicion that their parenting timeline just moved up a bit.

~~~

Jack found Chris outside the Inn on the phone. He looked at Jack when he came out but talked into the phone. "Go make your cereal quietly, and don't wake mummy. I will see you soon, Rudy. Happy birthday again."

He hung up and looked at Jack. "So the other reason I came out here was to light a joint. Care to join me, mate?"

Jack, who hadn't smoked marijuana in a decade but was already drunk said, fuck it to himself and nodded. It was one of the many things he and Chris used to do all the time.

Chris took out cigarette case from his jeans pocket and pulled one out, then pulled out a lighter and lit it. He took two puffs and passed it to Jack. Jack took one small puff as to not embarrass himself and coughed a bit before handing it back.

"I still can't believe you are here," Jack said.

"I can't believe you're still here. Small town Jack with big dreams ended up being small town Jack. It's fascinating to me. But Ethan is special, I can see that."

"He is special," Jack said. "He's the love of my life."

"How cliche and yet so apt," said Chris. They looked at each other and smiled.

Jack took a bigger drag with confidence that he wasn't going to choke on it. He said to Chris, "There is so much I wanted to say to you all these years. Like, how much I wanted to thank you."

"For what?" Chris asked.

"I had never met another person like you before you came to my small town with your sexuality and openness. It gave me the confidence to be open about my sexuality as a teenager. And that people would accept me and those that didn't, fuck them. It changed my life. You changed my life," he told Chris.

Chris laughed. "For a moment I thought you were going to thank me for all the fucking around we did in the barn."

Jack busted out laughing then puffed again and passed it to Chris, fingertips touching. "Yea, that too," Jack said and they both laughed.

"I didn't do anything, Jack," Chris said. "You were always going to be this person, with or without me. You wouldn't have stayed in the closet long. You've always been strong and confident. If it wasn't me, someone else was going to bring it out of you. Maybe Connor." He shook his head and smiled. "Fucking Connor. I can't believe you let that arsehole fuck you."

"Maybe because you wouldn't," Jack said. Chris, being an older boy of two years refused to break him in as he called it, so Jack let Connor do it two months later.

"Maybe I was a kid too and didn't want to hurt you. Maybe it was just easier letting you do me." They stared at each other. Chris then said, "Maybe I reeeally regret not fucking you back then." Then he started laughing, making Jack laugh. He puffed again and said, "But maybe everything happens for a reason. Maybe it was for the best. Because it made you who you are today."

"Maybe. But you also gave me the idea to go to Ireland. Make a wrong, right again. I need to thank you for that as well," Jack said.

Chris puffed. "All I said to you was, if it was me, I would kill them all."

"And then helped me plan it."

"I... listened and fine tuned your ideas. Went over and kinks in the plan. Gave you a code to follow."

"Why are you downplaying who you were to me?" Jack asked, getting frustrated.

Chris was quiet for a moment, then puffed and passed him the joint, fingertips touching. "Maybe I'm downplaying who you were to me." He looked at him. "I've had two healthy male relationships my entire life. You were the first. Ciaran is the second." He looked away. "So maybe I should be thanking you, for showing me how a friend can turn into something more. Something...beautiful."

Jack was quiet for a moment. Then asked him, "Why did you leave the way you did? You just like...left me in the barn. I woke up alone and you were gone. You went to your aunt's house in Boston and never came back. You... broke my fucking heart."

Chris said without looking at him, "Because goodbyes suck. And I didn't want to say goodbye to you. It would have broken my heart to say goodbye, knowing I would most likely never see you again. And I was a selfish prick. I'm sorry."

Jack passed him back the joint, fingertips touching. He said quietly, "I accept your apology."

Chris smiled and looked at him. "In case you haven't figured it out, I considered you my first love." Jack smiled widely at him. Chris looked at him for a few moments, then spoke again.

"Jack Redmond. You're just as handsome as the day I met you in the apple tree. Maybe more so now because of your manliness. It's incredible looking at you, being here with you, Jack. Having you smile at me with that dimpled smile again. With those jeweled eyes that makes a person feel like they're the only one in the room when you're looking at them. With the heart of gold that loves purely and completely. Ethan is a very lucky man."

He puffed his joint again and tried to pass it to Jack, but Jack refused it and instead stood in front of him closely. Then Jack said, "I consider you my first love too." They stared at each other.

Jack leaned in and in the last second changed his mind and kissed Chris on the side of his cheek instead, right outside of his mouth. Then he reached around to his back and hugged him, putting his face on his chest. Chris tossed away his joint and wrapped his arms around Jack's shoulders. They held each other for a while. Jack began to feel them both growing erections and pulled back first to let him go.

"I have to go to Ethan," Jack said.

Chris nodded. "As you should. Tell Ciaran I'll be in, in a minute." They stood there for another moment looking at each other. Then Jack gave Chris his sideways smile and Chris smiled back widely. He turned and went back inside.

Ethan and Ciaran had started a two man game of gin rummy when Jack came in. They both looked up. "Where's Chris?" Ciaran asked.

"He was outside smoking a joint, said he'd be in soon," Jack said as he sat down next to Ethan.

Ethan smelled the marijuana all over him and it almost set him off to react physically toward Jack. He had never known Jack to smoke pot. Ethan exhaled out through his nose. He didn't know if he was frustrated, angry or jealous. Maybe all three. He shook his head but again said nothing as his body went rigid.

Jack could feel Ethan's anger next to him. He called his name softly, "Ethan."

Ethan turned to look at him and let Jack see how upset he was. His Jackie Bear, with the green eyes and the dimpled smile that he was giving him right now, had been showing someone else affection all night. It was too much to handle. And if Jack felt even a part of what he was feeling right now when Carlos was here, he was more sorry now than he'd ever been.

Jack's smile faded a bit. He moved closer and kissed Ethan on the lips softly. Then he touched his face lightly and kissed him again, putting his tongue in his mouth and his arms around his neck. Ethan made a small internal groan and grabbed the back of Jack's hair tightly as they kissed passionately.

Ethan pulled Jack's face away first. Putting just an inch between their faces and still holding onto Jack's hair tightly, he said softly but angrily, "Took you long enough."

Jack smiled. "Take me to bed." Ethan's eyes flashed at him hungrily.

Ciaran, who had been watching them with his own smile, stood up and said, "I will see myself out. Have a good night, gentlemen." He left.

Ethan got up and took Jack's hand. They walked over to the bassinet to check on sleeping Jackie, then led him to the bedroom. They kissed and Ethan took off Jack's shirt while Jack took off Ethan's shirt. Jack moved toward him and Ethan gave him a smile, then put his two palms against his chest and lightly shoved him.

Jack chuckled and came toward him again and Ethan shoved him again. Jack's eyes went wide. "Why do you keep shoving me?" Jack asked.

"I don't know. It just feels good right now," Ethan said amusingly.

Jack laughed, and he playfully shoved Ethan. Ethan shoved him back a little harder and Jack stumbled against the edge of the bed. He looked at Ethan wide eyed again and said, "You want to hit me, Ethan?"

"If I wanted to hit you, I'd just hit you."

"Well technically you are hitting me."

"Oh, am I? Ok I'll stop. After this one." And he shoved Jack again with more force.

Jack stumbled again then stood up. "Don't make me beat the shit out of you, E," he said seriously.

Ethan laughed. "Not a chance, kid."

"Don't call me kid."

"Don't act like one."

They stood still for a moment staring at each other. Then Jack slowly moved to stand in front of Ethan and kissed him on the lips. He took his whole hand and placed it on Ethan's face lovingly. Then he shoved his face, hard.

Ethan stumbled backwards, hitting the door with a thud and his head snapped back in surprise. He let a moment pass, then ran up quickly grabbing Jack by his waist lifting him off his feet and dropping him on the bed making Jack laugh.

They began to wrestle and grab at each other playfully, trying to overpower the other. Jack had the upper hand for most of it, being quicker to get out of holds. At one point Jack was on top of Ethan backwards and had Ethan's arm pinned by his shoulder, but then Ethan dragged his tongue across the nape of Jack's neck which startled him just enough for him to flip Jack over to his back.

He grabbed Jack by both of his wrists with one hand and used his index finger knuckle to dig into his underarms and ribs making him laugh.

"Fuck, stop Ethan!" he yelled and laughed. "Get the fuck off me!"

Ethan poked him with every word. "You. Fucking. Ass. Hole. How. Dare. You. Flirt. With. Another. Fucking. Man. Let. Another. Man. Touch. You. Are. You. Fucking. Crazy?"

"Ok! Stop, ok, I'm sorry! I took it too far!" Jack cried. Ethan leaned his head down and bit a nipple. Jack yelped then whined, "Fuck Ethan, that hurt!"

"Yea? Well it hurt to see you eye fucking and touching sexy ass Lenny Kravits," Ethan growled at him.

Jack laughed. "Sexy Lenny Kravits. You're fucking hilarious."

"I'm not hilarious. I'm pissed off and annoyed at you for all of it," he said seriously. "What the fuck were you thinking!?"

Jack stopped laughing and they were quiet for a moment. Jack said, "Let my hands go, E."

Ethan did. Jack flipped Ethan onto his back and kissed him. He grinded his body against him, and sucked his neck hard and for a while, leaving him red and purple hickies, then they kissed passionately again. Jack took off his jeans and Ethan's sweatpants. Ethan grabbed the clear bottle off the nightstand and silently stroked him and lube him up.

Jack stood up to straddle him and lowered himself onto Ethan. Ethan instinctively held his waist as Jack began to move back and forth, sliding up to his head and sliding back down, Ethan's shaft pressing against his sweet spot. Jack closed his eyes and rode Ethan's cock for a while, moaning as softly as he could. There was no place in the world that he'd rather be.

Then he heard Ethan say, "Who are you fucking, Jackie? Me or him?"

Jack stopped moving and opened his eyes and looked at his husband, who he loved with all his heart.

He kept his eyes focused on Ethan's brown ones and touched Ethan's cheeks softly, rubbing his thumb along his chin hairs. He traced his index finger along Ethan's mouth, touched his nose and traced his eyebrows. He ran his hands through his hair with his fingers. He put his finger in Ethan's ear and came back around to his cheek.

Ethan began to do the same, reached up and touched Jack's lips, nose, eyebrows and ears. Then he moved down to touch his neck, his chest that was peppered with thin black chest hairs, his perfect abs, went around his penis that was pointing straight up and put his finger in Jack's belly button. Jack followed him, touching Ethan's shoulders and chest, ran his hands over his nipples making Ethan moan. He reached back up and held onto Ethan's face with both hands again. They locked eyes.

Jack showed him instead of answering him. He kissed him on the lips and began to move again, watching Ethan watch him. He kept his eyes open and focused on his lover as much as he could, moaning and moving faster, changing up strokes from moving into a squatting position and bouncing up and down, to on his knees moving back and forth.

Ethan moved one hand from Jack's waist and held onto his penis between them, so that as Jack was sliding back and forth on him, his cock was sliding in and out of Ethan's tight fist. They held eye contact as Jack moved into climax. His eyes fluttered and he came silently, his Irish cream coming out in long white spurts coating Ethan from his neck to his hands; Ethan came right behind him, lifting up Jack's bottom with his groin area and groaned out his orgasm, coating Jack's insides with his hot white Irish cream.

Jack slid off of Ethan's cock and moved to lay to the side of Ethan but Ethan rolled with him so that he was laying on top of him. With his chin resting on Jack's chest, he looked up at his husband, lover and best friend.

Jack answered his question softly, "Only you, Ethan. Always you."

Ethan watched him for a moment, then turned his head to lay down on Jack's chest. Jack ran his fingers through Ethan's hair repeatedly until Ethan fell asleep.

~~~~~

Ethan felt him before he opened his eyes. He awoke lying on his stomach and found Jack watching him, running his fingers through his hair, then trailed his fingertips lightly and slowly down his spine, rubbing his bottom, then back to his hair again. When Ethan's eyes opened, a stream of sunlight through the window curtain was hitting Jack's face, making his green eyes brighter.

Jack kissed his shoulder, putting his head on it. "I'm sorry, Ethan," he said sincerely. Ethan did not respond, he let Jack talk.

"I want you to know that I wasn't trying to hurt you and I wasn't giving you payback for Carlos. Liam had said to me a long time ago that it's hard to let go when it's your first love and I didn't really get it then but I get it now. All of these feelings came out of nowhere and I just... Having your first love and your current love in the same room is a fucking nightmare. I wouldn't wish it on anyone."

Ethan chuckled. "Yea, it's a fucking nightmare."

"I was inconsiderate of your feelings at best, wholly disrespectful at worse," Jack said. "And I'm sorry. I really, truly am. No excuses. I fucked up."

Ethan laid on his side and said, "After everything I put you through with Carlos, you have full range to feel however you feel about your first love coming back into your life."

"Yea, but that doesn't mean I needed to act on those feelings. I did have things I needed to say to him and I'm glad I did, but all the purposely flirting, touching... I don't know what came over me. But it won't ever happen again."

Ethan was thoughtful. "Ciaran said you were trying to get my attention. Were you?"

It was Jack's turn to be thoughtful. "I don't know. I do know that I didn't like how casual you were about it. I mean, what if I did kiss him or he kissed me? Would that have been ok with you?"

"Fuck no," Ethan said. "But I do owe you one pass, so if you did, I'll swallow it and let it go."

"I didn't."

Ethan was skeptical. "Yea? The way you came in and kissed me last night made me think otherwise."

Jack looked at him. "I didn't."

"But you wanted to," Ethan said knowingly.

Jack let a moment pass, then said a third time, "I'm sorry, Ethan."

Ethan shrugged. "I owe you one."

Jack moved into Ethan's chest and wrapped his arm around him. Ethan laid back so that Jack could lay on him and they were quiet for a while. Then Ethan said, "I'm going to hate myself for this, but I kind of like the name Jacqueline Christina. JC. It is cute."

Jack laughed. "I only said it to piss you off."

"I know," said Ethan. "But my grandpop, my dad's dad, his name was Christian. I think he would like it if we named our daughter Christina."

Jack rubbed his arm and kissed his chest. "Jackie Chris Starling." Jack said.

He shook his head. "Jacqueline Christina Frazier. I've decided. You saw her born. You cut the umbilical cord. She gets your last name."

"But then her and Ethan will have different last names. I thought we'd at least hyphenate."

"We have different last names and we're family. They'll be family too."

Jack was quiet again, then said, "Fuck, I fucking love you, man. Like... my heart feels like it's going to come out of my fucking chest some days, just burst with all the love I have for you. It's not fucking normal how fast and how hard I fell in love with you, and how I still feel that same fucking way I felt from the first kiss. And every time I think there is nowhere left to grow, fuck, I just fall deeper in fucking love with you. It's like...fuck."

Ethan pulled him closer and kissed his head. "That's the most romantic thing you ever said to me. It's like a Hallmark card."

~~~

After Jack dropped EJ off at the bus stop, Jack and Ethan, while holding baby Jackie, met Chris and Ciaran on their way out.

"Thank you for your hospitality, we appreciate it very much," Ciaran said, shaking Ethan's hand.

Jack and Chris hugged tightly. "It was so good to see you, Jack. All grown up and with a family," Chris said. Jack pulled back first.

"Good to see you as well, Chris," Jack told him. He went to shake hands with Ciaran.

Chris went to hug Ethan who took a small step back and held out his hand for a handshake instead. Chris chuckled at Ethan's standoffish behavior and shook his hand.

"It was good to meet you, Ethan. I love how much you love him. He deserves that after all he's been though. You're as perfect for Jack as Ciaran here is for me."

"I know I am," Ethan said with a smile, squeezed his hand tighter, then let go.

Chris turned back to Jack. They looked at each other for a moment. Then Jack stepped closer to Ethan, took his hand and said, "Goodbye, Chris."

Chris said, "Goodbye Jack, with the emerald eyes. Maybe... Maybe I'm going to miss you all over again."

Jack blushed and Ethan's eyes narrowed. Then he saw Ciaran reach up to the nape of Chris's neck and stroke him there. He said very softly, "Stop."

Chris turned to look at him and they stared at each other having a silent conversation with their eyes. Then Ciaran smiled lovingly and Chris smiled with him. They leaned in to kiss simultaneously, their lips lingered for a moment, eyes closed. When they opened their eyes again, they stared at each other for another moment.

Ciaran trailed his hand down Chris's arm to hold his hand, then turned to Jack and Ethan. He said, "We're going to get going. Thank you again, for everything." Then he turned Chris around and they walked away hand in hand. Chris did not glance back.

"Wow," said Ethan astonished.

"What?" Jack asked.

Ethan shook his head. "Nothing." He turned to face Jack and handed JC to him, then kissed his lips. "Heading over to The Residence, I will see you tonight. For dinner."

He started walking to his car and Jack called out, "Ethan."

Ethan turned around. They looked at each other, having their own conversation with their eyes about how much they love each other. Then Ethan said, "Jackie with the emerald eyes." He smiled at him.

Jack smiled back at him, his sideways smile. "Eyes that I only have for you, babe."