Bittersweet Irish Cream Ch. 17

Jacqueline Christina quietly opened the door to her parents' room and closed it, then crawled into the bed between them. Jack moved over, giving her room without opening up his eyes. She got into the covers and was quiet but only for a moment. Their daughter did what she usually does on Sunday mornings, she started talking.

"Catty was sleeping under my bed again. How old is Catty? I think she needs a friend. Can we get another kitty? Because I think Catty is lonely and needs another one that she can play with. Like I have Susie. And EJ has Freddie. And Daddy has Papa. But Catty doesn't have anyone. I saw a kitty in the park, can we take him home? What color kitty should we get? I like kitties that have colors. Oh, can we get an orange kitty? Are their blue kitties? I would like a blue kitty. I want-"

Jack smiled listening to his five-year-old daughter ramble. He knew Ethan was awake listening to her too. Jack turned his body to her and opened up his eyes. He cut her off with a soft, "Good morning, Jackie."

JC turned to her dad. "Good morning, Papa. Can we get another kitty?"

He smiled. "We'll talk about it, okay?"

"Okay Papa. Papa, where's my mommy?" she asked unexpectedly.

Ethan's eyes flew open widely and looked at Jack over JC's head. Jack looked at Ethan, then looked back down at JC. He sat up and Ethan sat up with him. JC looked at her dad behind her, then back at her Papa, and sat up too.

Jack took her little hands in his and said, "The truth is, we don't know, Jackie. We lost contact with her a long time ago. But I know wherever she is, she thinks about you just as much as you think about her."

"Oh." She was thoughtful then asked, "Is she gonna come see me like EJ's mommy came to see him?"

Ethan said, "We hope so." JC turned to her other father.

"We hope one day she will reach out. But if that never happens, it's okay. She made a plan when you were still in her belly to have us be your daddies because she trusted us to give you love and to always be there for you when she couldn't. So if she never comes back, it's only because she knows you are with the best parents a girl like you could ever have."

"Oh," she said again. "Okay." She looked to still be thoughtful.

"Do you have more questions?" Jack asked.

"Um... Can you show me her picture again?"

Jack rose from the bed and went into his dresser drawer. He pulled out a picture of Claire at the Inn a few weeks after she arrived, on Valentine's Day wearing a yellow dress and holding a red rose against her pregnant belly. She was smiling for the camera, looking relaxed and happy.

Claire had written the words on the back in her own handwriting, "For my baby girl. You will always be my Valentine."

Jack came back to the bed and put the picture in Jackie's hand. "I think you're old enough to keep this now. It's yours."

She smiled at the picture. "She has red hair like me."

"And light brown eyes and freckles and the prettiest smile in the world, just like you," Ethan said. She turned to him and beamed at her dad.

Jackie stared at the picture for a long time in silence and her fathers let her. Then Ethan said softly, "Any time you want to talk about her, you can, sweet pea. We like talking about her too. So don't ever be afraid to talk to us about your mommy, okay?"

Eventually she said, "Okay."

She started to crawl out of the bed holding onto the picture. "Hey, can we get hugs?" Ethan asked. "That was a serious conversation."

"Yeah, we had a family meeting," JC said factually, making both her dads chuckle.

Jack pulled her in for a hug and said, "We love you, Jacqueline."

"Okay," she responded.

She turned to Ethan who also hugged her and said, "We love you very very much, Jackie."

"Okay," she said again.

She left their bed and right before she closed the door she said, "Love you, Daddies."

Ethan fell backwards against the bed and groaned. "We survived."

Jack followed him. "I know. The first real talk about her mom. I think we did okay, Dad."

"I hope so, Papa," Ethan said.

Their hands gravitated toward each other and they clasped tightly.

~~~

Jack was ready first and came out of the room to get the girls ready for church. Afterwards he walked into the main room to see Trish in his kitchen teaching EJ how to make homemade pancakes. He walked over to them and couldn't help but to smile at EJ's smiling face. He looked so happy spending time with her, having all of her attention focused solely on him. In his eyes Patricia could do no wrong.

EJ noticed him first. "Hey Pop! Mom came downstairs and had the great idea to make pancakes for us before we go to Mass."

"Wow, that's a really nice idea but..." He said to Trish, "We usually just eat in the dining room upstairs for breakfast on Sundays-" But he was cut off when EJ sent him a look with a frown. "But this is better."

She nodded in agreement. "Good morning, Jack," she said, handing him a cup of coffee.

He asked quietly, "What did you do, spit in it?"

Trish laughed out loud. "Is Ethan awake?"

"Yea, he's getting ready."

She nodded and poured another cup and handed it to Jack. "Please bring this to him."

He took the second cup from her and brought it to Ethan in the bedroom, who had just put on his shirt. "Thanks babe," Ethan said as he took the coffee from him.

"You're welcome. But Trish made the coffee."

He took a sip before placing it on the dresser and said, "Really?" He turned to the mirror to button up his shirt.

"Yea. And she's making breakfast for the kids. Freshly made pancakes and sausage and shit. Your ex-wife is suddenly Mary freakin' Poppins."

He laughed at Jack from the mirror. "Want me to tell her to stop it?"

Jack rolled his eyes and sat on the edge of the bed. "I'm so conflicted, E. EJ loves having her around. The girls really like her. But I still don't fully trust her motives here."

Ethan turned to Jack and said, "Trish, at her best, is where she is right now. Confident, self assured, funny, caring, nurturing. It's when she gets scared or feels put out, she turns to her bad habits: Drugs. Rando's for sex. Being self absorbed. Running away."

Jack gave him a look. "So in order for her not to run scared I should be nicer to her and encourage her?"

Ethan came over and kissed Jack's head. "You said it, I didn't." He grabbed his cup and walked out of the room, leaving Jack with his thoughts.

Ethan came into the main area to witness his daughters setting the table and EJ helping to bring the food to it. Everyone was smiling and happy and it brought a smile to his face. For a brief moment he wondered if this was how his life would have turned out if he had stayed with Trish: married with three kids and one on the way. He knew this was the life she had envisioned for them. He also knew he wouldn't have been happy or romantically satisfied. Back then he was willing to give up his own happiness to ensure stability in his family.

Jack came from behind him and touched his back lightly as he sat down at the table. Ethan watched Jack and his tummy did a small butterfly flip, reminding him that he loved the life he had, and wouldn't want it any other way. He was never meant to have that kind of family with Trish, and was thankful that everything turned out the way it did.

Suddenly he had another vision: Trish being an active part of their lives and his family with Jack. He knew it would require a lot of emotional sacrifice from the two of them, there was a lot of bad history there, but he was willing to try to make it happen. If for nothing else, for his son's happiness. EJ loved Jack but he also loved his mother dearly. If they could both see that, maybe they would be able to put their feelings aside to be there for him.

"Earth to Ethan.... You're eating?" Jack asked.

Ethan realized he had been standing there daydreaming. He chuckled a bit. "Sorry I... zoned out."

He walked over and sat next to Jack who gave him a curious look. Instead of answering he gave him a peck kiss. Ethan picked up his fork but was thoughtful. "We should say grace."

Everyone looked at him. EJ, with a mouth full of pancakes, asked, "Why?"

Ethan shrugged. "I just feel like we should say grace over food more often than we do. We have a lot to be thankful for."

"Okay, Daddy," said Susie. He smiled at his daughter and took her hand.

Jack held his hands out and everyone clasped hands and bowed their heads. He recited, "Bless us, O Lord, and these Thy gifts which we are about to receive from Thy bounty. Through Christ, our Lord. Amen."

They all dutifully crossed themselves and began eating again. Trish said, "I can take the kids again for the afternoon when you get back from Mass."

"We go to granny and grampy after church to go eat," JC told her.

"My parents," Jack clarified. "You're welcome to come with us. But you have to go to Mass with us too, if you want to eat. That's the rule."

Trish shook her head profusely. "Oh no," she said. "I'll see you guys later then."

"Please, Mom?" EJ begged.

"Oh sweetie, I don't even remember the last time I was in a church for anything other than meetings," she said to her son.

"Good thing Father O'Donnell isn't taking attendance today," Jack said to her. "No one cares when was the last time you've been to church. You're not going for them, you're going for yourself. For your own relationship with God."

"Oh I don't know..." She looked up at Ethan, but Jack spoke again.

"You've been a great help these last few days, Trish. I would love for you to attend Mass with us and meet my parents and siblings afterwards. And I know they would love to meet you."

She looked at him unsure of his sincerity. She glanced at Ethan then back at Jack. "Okay, I'll go."

"Yay!" the children chorused at the table.

"I gotta figure out what to wear," she said sheepishly.

"I can dress you," JC said happily.

Ethan chuckled. "Good luck with that."

He looked at Jack who caught his eye and smiled. Jack smiled back. He was so appreciative of the effort Jack was making and it only made his heart love him more. Maybe his vision just might come true.

~~~

Trish sat with the Starling-Frazier family taking up the whole middle row until JC and Sue were taken to the nursery. They did get a few curious glances but she tried her best to ignore them. She was surprised at how at peace she felt, sitting next to EJ. The Catholic rituals came back to her and she was able to participate in all the sayings and songs.

When it was time for communion, she watched her son and his parents rise but did not feel worthy to take it at that time. When EJ noticed she had not risen, he sat down.

Jack whispered, "What's going on?"

"I don't want Mom to feel alone," EJ replied.

"Oh EJ," she said quietly. "I'll be fine, go take communion."

"But-"

"I'll sit with her," Jack said as he sat back down. "I'll do communion later with Father O'Donnell. You, go with your dad," he told EJ. "You're getting confirmed in a couple of months and need to partake in communion every time. It's part of your commitment."

EJ obeyed and stood up, following Ethan to the aisle to take communion. Trish watched them and said to Jack quietly, "You didn't have to do that."

"You're right, I didn't," Jack replied. "I wanted to, for EJ."

"You really would do anything for him," Trish said softly.

"Of course. He's my son." Then Jack sighed and turned to her. "He's your son too."

Her mouth opened slightly in shock, then she smiled widely at him and kissed his cheek. Jack rolled his eyes but smiled too as she leaned her head on his shoulder and linked her arm around his.

Ethan and EJ walked back over to see Jack and Trish cozy on the bench. Ethan sat down and grinned while staring straight ahead. "Don't ask," Jack said quietly, making Ethan chuckle.

After church they made their way downstairs to the reception area where Ethan introduced Trish as "EJ's mother." Everyone seemed to understand the family dynamic and were welcoming and kind. Jack introduced Trish to Henry and Marie Frazier, and his mother gave Trish a big hug.

"I'm so happy to meet you. You'll come have lunch with us, yes!?" she asked excitedly, not giving Trish an opportunity to say no.

At one point, Father O'Donnell made his way over to the three of them. "So, it's the infamous Patricia," he said sternly.

Trish's eyes went wide with fear until the priest's face broke out into a smile. "It's wonderful to finally meet you," he said as he clasped her hands in his. "Your presence is always here, even when you aren't physically here with us. It's nice to see you all together."

He started asking her questions about herself and Ethan and Jack slowly moved away, knowing she would be okay with the kind and warm priest.

Afterwards they walked to the farmhouse with Trish complaining about the half a mile walk. But once she arrived at the orchard she was in awe.

"It's so beautiful. You grew up here?" she asked Jack.

"Yep. The bigger trees are further down."

"We run and play here all the time," Susie told her as she quietly took Trish's hand. "Will you run and play here with us?"

Trish smiled at her. "I sure will. But not today."

Jack and Ethan watched the exchange and then looked at each other. Ethan reached his hand out and took Jack's as they made their way up the stairs into the farmhouse.

Marie was delighted to see that Trish was still with them and didn't change her mind. She automatically pulled her to the kitchen with her and Mina so they could talk. Henrietta, Brayden and their girls arrived an hour later from their Lutheran church service and joined the family.

As everyone sat down for their late lunch, Jack again said grace for the family and they all dug in and had side conversations.

"So when are you due, Trish?" Henrietta asked.

"Tomorrow actually," she said. She looked at Ethan then turned back to the table. "I'm getting induced and Ethan agreed to be my labor partner."

"Ooooh wow, that's really nice of you, Ethan," Marie said.

"Well, I'm kind of a nice guy," Ethan said smugly. Jack rolled his eyes.

"Boy or girl?" Mina asked.

"Boy," she responded.

"Who's the father? Ethan again?" Sam said with a laugh, making Ethan and Jack glare at him.

"Don't be an idiot," Mina said to her husband. She turned back to Trish and said, "Don't even bother answering that. He's an idiot."

But Trish was smiling. "His father's not in the picture anymore."

"Do you have names picked out yet?" Brayden asked.

"I have a few ideas, but nothing set in stone. I think I need to see his face first, then I'll know for sure what name will fit him. I don't want to call him Corbin when he looks like a Brad."

"So are you going back home or to your folks in Greenwich?" Henrietta asked.

"She's gonna stay here, with us," EJ piped up. Jack and Ethan both looked at him.

"Are you staying, Patricia?" Marie asked. "It would be nice to have you around more."

"I ah..." She looked at her son who looked crestfallen. "I'm leaning toward it. But I don't want to cause any problems for Ethan's family." She looked up at her ex-husband sheepishly.

"You won't," EJ piped in again. "Dad and Pop are okay with you staying, right?" He turned to look at his parents who had not spoken a word during that time.

"Well I also don't want to cause any problems in general," she said. "I'm sure you've all heard about how... messy a person I am." She looked down at her plate as everyone went quiet.

Henry spoke. "I think you being around would do a lot more good than harm, for both you and EJ. One of the things that we recognize here is that family is a bond that can never be broken. And family is not just about blood relations."

He pointed at Brayden. "That man I've known since the day he was born. He was a part of this family before he married my daughter." He looked at Sam. "Sam had been sneaking around sniffing after Mina since they were toddlers, always wandering next door to us. I had already claimed him as one of ours." The table chuckled at that.

Henry said to Trish, "Jack and his sister June are my family, but they became my children from the moment I rescued them from Ireland when my sister and her husband were killed. And when Jack brought Ethan and EJ into our lives, I instantly became a grandfather to your son. My first grandchild.

"I'm telling you this because I've raised all of these children in one way or another. We didn't need marriage and blood relations to make us family. We just are. Family is messy and we don't always get along, but we love each other and we'll always be here for each other.

"You're the mother of my grandson. That makes you family. That makes the child you're carrying family too. If you want to stay here to be close to your family, just know that we'd all love to have you. Jack's biological father used to say, 'Family is not just blood, and when they become your family, it's family over everything'. And you are family."

"Here, here," Brayden said and raised his glass of wine to her. Others around the table began to do the same, including Jack and Ethan.

"Oh my God," Trish said, looking up and wiping her eyes. "Can we not make the emotional pregnant woman cry?"

The adults at the table chuckled and EJ wrapped his arms around his mother. She rubbed his back and sniffed. Jack turned to Ethan and exchanged looks again.

"Well," said Marie standing up. "It seems like the right time to bring out my apple cobbler."

~~~

When they were ready to leave, Jack found Trish on the back porch staring out into the sunset. He opened the door and she looked at him, then turned back to the orchard. "Are you okay?" he asked.

"Yea, I'm good. Your family is so fucking nice." She turned to him. "I expected that you would have trashed-talked me to them and they would hate me."

"That would require me actually thinking of you to do so," Jack said with an eyebrow raised.

Trish chuckled. Then she got serious. "I think we got off on the wrong foot, Jack." He came over to stand next to her and folded his arms across his chest.

"When was that, Trish? When we first met and you called me Ethan's shit-packing boyfriend and started slapping him? Or the many times you told me to fuck off and hung the phone up on me? Or when you ghosted my son on his 10th birthday? Or when you just showed up four days ago calling me Mrs. Starling, calling my Korean daughter a China Doll and demanding Ethan's attention?"

She cringed. "I've been pretty shitty over the years, haven't I?"

"Understatement."

"Okay but I'm trying to be better," she whined. "And you haven't been nice to me either! Today was like the first day you have ever been nice to me!"

"You want me to be nicer? Then just... do it. Don't try, just be better."

He uncrossed his arms. "You don't have to be rude or nasty to get someone's attention. That kid in there thinks the world of you no matter what you do, so you will always have his attention. And Ethan loves you and feels obligated to you because of your history. So again, you will always have his attention too. And that baby is going to need all your attention when he gets here."

"Well maybe I want your attention too," she said, folding her arms across her chest.

"Or maybe your plan is to try to push me out so you can take your family back," Jack countered.

"That's not true. I'm not trying to break you guys up. Like that would even be possible." She sighed. "I didn't come here with a plan, Jack. I know you think I did. I mean, sure it crossed my mind that if I came here Ethan would feel obligated to take care of me, you're right about that. But I didn't expect to feel... I don't know... a part of the family I guess. It feels kinda... nice."

"You are a part of this family, whether I like it or not. My dad is right." Jack sighed as well. "Let's call a truce. You do better. I'll be nicer. And you can come back here and we can keep doing the family thing after you give birth."