Bittersweet Irish Cream Ch. 17

After a moment of silence, Jack said, "If you want a fourth, I'm down with it. I would just rather it not be an infant, not with me just starting my Masters program. Getting Susie at 3-years-old showed me how much better it is to start off with a toddler who is a little less demanding. Plus it's fun seeing their little minds discover the world. Babies are cute, toddlers are practical."

"Hmm... Good to know your thoughts." Then Ethan asked, "So it's not important to you to have a biological child? A son of the Redmond bloodline?"

"No," Jack said right away. "I mean...remember I didn't even think I would have what I have now, a family and all. I didn't think I would be alive right now. I wasn't supposed to make it out of Dublin. The Redmond bloodline was going to end with me."

"Damn, Jack," Ethan said, sadly. "Even thinking about you not coming back from Ireland still bothers me. It would have killed me, you know."

"I'm sorry," Jack said quietly.

Ethan shook his head. "It's all water under the bridge. You're alive. Now you have a great life with an amazing husband."

"I mean, you're alright some of the time," Jack said sarcastically.

"And you have three great children," Ethan said, ignoring his snark. "Maybe one more coming in the future."

"Are we having a serious conversation?" Jack asked. "About having another child?"

Ethan sighed and put the sleeping baby back in the bassinet. "I don't know. I'm not opposed to it. Sounds like you aren't either. So I don't know. Maybe."

"Well, let's see what Trish ends up doing. If she moves to Rockville and you end up doing the night watch for the next six months, you may think differently."

Ethan watched her sleep, knowing she was out to the world. "She made a comment about showing up at her parents' house with the baby, so I honestly don't know what she is going to do. I'm going to make her an offer though. I hope she takes it."

Jack rolled onto his back in the bed and groaned. "The old Mrs. Starling and the new Mrs. Starling in the same space, breathing the same air as you. You ready for all that?"

Ethan laid down on the futon, also face up. "Are you?"

Jack groaned in his throat again. "As long as she isn't moving in."

Ethan chuckled again. "We should buy a house."

"Why, so we could move her in!?" Jack asked in astonishment.

"Fuck no," Ethan said quietly, then laughed. "I mean, it's already five of us and if we're thinking about becoming a family of six, we need the room."

"Okay." Jack closed his eyes and sighed. "I miss you, babe. We're never apart like this. This bed is lonely without you."

"I miss you too." He let a moment pass then asked, "You're touching yourself right now?"

Jack, who had been absentmindedly touching his penis over his underwear, stopped. "No."

"Liar," Ethan said and smiled. "You couldn't run this morning so you have some pent up energy. You need a release."

Jack laughed quietly. "Well you're too far away to give me a release."

Ethan said softly, "Stroke it for me. Nice and slow."

Jack reached into his underwear and did as he was told but said, "Really, E? Right now?"

"Nice and slow," Ethan repeated. "Take the gel, pour it in your hands and stroke it for me." Jack reached back and took the tube, soaked up his hands and resumed tugging on his cock. Ethan could hear his breath change, more labored.

"Keep going," he said softly.

"You... gonna... join... me?" Jack said breathlessly as his dick hardened in his hand.

"Can't," Ethan said but reached down to hold his hard cock over his sweatpants. "I just want to hear you cum."

Jack let out all the air in his lungs. "Eeeeethaaaan," he moaned out.

"Don't stop. Let me hear you moan."

Jack took his underwear all the way off, leaving his bottom half naked. He added more lube to his hand and began to move faster over his erection. He took his other hand and rubbed on his nipples to simulate himself further, then reached down to hold onto his tightening balls.

His breath caught in his throat, then he let out a soft, "Mmmmmm."

"That's it," Ethan said encouragingly. "Remember when you were inside of me on Saturday? Remember how that felt, going in and out of me? Tight, moist, and hot like a furnace?"

"Eeeeethaaaan," Jack moaned his name again, his eyes squeezed shut as he remembered how great it felt to be inside of his husband, who was indeed tight, moist, and hot like a furnace.

"I could still feel it, your big cock deep inside of me..."

"Mmmmmmmmm...." Jack murmured.

"Filling me up.... Squeezing you tight to hold you in...."

"Oh Gooodddddd," Jack moaned out.

Ethan could hear the squelching sound that the lube made on Jack's palm moving quickly over his own cock. Ethan squeezed himself tighter. "Almost there?" he asked.

"Almost," Jack responded, then just as quickly said, "I'm there... fuck... cumming... hhhoooooo...."

Ethan pictured Jack's white hot Irish cream spilling out in long ropes onto his chest. He listened to the sound of Jack grunting and counted six spurts, and then the squelching sound slowing down. Neither of them spoke as Ethan listened to Jack's breathing, realizing his own heart was beating fast and his breathing was erratic. He squeezed himself again, willing his erection to calm down.

Jack finally spoke, breaking the silence. "Holy shit."

Ethan smiled. "Feels good to be alive, doesn't it?"

Jack smiled, his eyes closed and still holding onto his cock. "Yea, it sure does. I'm glad I made it back to you."

Ethan smiled as well. "Get some sleep, Jackie Bear. You got about two hours before your day really starts."

Jack found himself sleepy, his body spent. "M'kay." he murmured.

Ethan listened to the sound of Jack's breathing again, this time slowing down considerably. When he heard the light snore he knew that his love had fallen asleep, probably still holding onto his cock, dreaming of him.

~~~~

In the middle of the day, Elyse came over to let Trish know she was getting discharged tomorrow. "You're fine, the baby is healthy and there is no reason to keep you here a moment longer."

Ethan thanked her for her kindness and vowed to send the maternity ward nurses some kind of flower arrangement and snacks. It reminded him that he still had no idea what Trish was going to do.

Trish pulled out the documents. "Might as well start these." She sighed as she stared at the birth certificate information. Then she looked up watching Ethan as he held her son. "You're a natural with the baby."

He looked at her and smiled from the couch. "What's his name, Trish? We can't call him The Baby forever."

She sighed. "I'm thinking Timothy or Patrick. I think he looks more like a Pat than a Tim."

Ethan nodded. "Both are fine."

"I'm probably going to head to the house in Greenwich tomorrow, Ethan," she said. He nodded slowly but did not respond. "I just think... it's for the best. But I'll still come around and do the family thing with you because I want EJ to be close with his brother."

"You think Tim is going to freak out?" he asked.

"Oh I know my dad is going to blow his fucking lid," she said factually. "But if I name him Timothy, maybe that would soften the blow."

Ethan laughed. "He does not look like a Timothy. Go with Patrick."

"If he was yours, what would you name him?" she asked.

He looked down at the boy. "He looks like a Jamie to me. I would name him Jamison, after Jack's bio dad."

"Well maybe I should do that, so Jack would continue to be nice to me."

He looked up at her sharply. "Come back to Rhode Island with me instead, Trish. I can put you in one of my apartments and we'll help you raise the baby."

"I know I said I would but..." She looked away. "You already have a full plate. We'll just be in the way."

Ethan said, "It's only three kids. What's one more! Jack and I can handle it."

"What's one more, huh?" She smiled at him.

"Sure," Ethan said confidently. "And it would be nice to have you close. EJ would really like that. Jack and I will adjust to having you around. We're your family, Trish."

She was thoughtful. "Okay. We'll go back to Rockville with you."

He grinned at her. "I'll tell Jack."

"Oh I'm sure Mrs. Starling is going to be thrilled with having me so close," she said and rolled her eyes. "Here, give 'em here so I can nurse him."

Ethan slowly stood up and handed her the baby, then sat at the edge of the bed. She began to nurse and looked at her son lovingly. Then she looked up to see Ethan watching her. "What?"

"Nothing. Just that, you look good with babies too. I always thought so, how beautiful you looked after giving birth to Ethan. You're always beautiful, but there was just something about the first few months...." He trailed off.

"Do you think it could be like that again?" she asked. He raised an eyebrow at her. "Well obviously not exactly like that. I just meant... we could co-parent together. You, me and Jack. I could learn a lot from the two of you."

"I think Jack would be fine with it if he was a hundred percent sure that's what you wanted to do, co-parent. Raising children is not easy, but we love each other and we support each other. You can be a part of that, if that's what you want."

"Yea... I think that's what I want."

Ethan nodded at her. "Good. Because that's what I want. And EJ just wants his mom back in his life. And the girls would want that. And Jack just wants us all to be happy. You'll see, it will all work out."

She looked back down at the nursing infant and didn't respond.

~~~

Nurse Ramona woke him up early in the morning. "Hi, Dad. Your wife went for a walk around the building and said for you to give him the bottle."

"Oh. Yea, sure." Ethan held the boy and fed him a bottle, changed him and then held him until he fell asleep again. An hour later Trish was still not back. He placed the boy in the cart and came out of the room.

"Did any of you see his mother?" Ethan asked them.

Another nurse said, "No. Should we alert the guards? Do you think something happened to her?"

Ethan didn't respond. He went back into the room and looked around. Trish's bag was still on the floor and her clothes hung in the closet so he relaxed. He came back out and saw his night nurse still there. "I'm going to go look for her, she probably just needed some space."

"Okay," Ramona said. "Well let us know if we need to do an alert."

"Yea, okay. I'm sure she's fine," he said, more reassuring himself than the nurses. He began to walk around the maternity ward pushing the cart and realized how big a hospital it was.

He stopped at a coffee cart and stood in front of a window watching the sun come up. He loved sunrises and so did Jack. He took a picture of the horizon, then he took another picture of the boy swaddled in a blue muslin. He sent both pics to his husband.

"Ethan?" a voice behind him called.

He turned around and stared at the man in front of him in the dark green scrubs and coffee in his hand. He looked the same but different, as his brown hair had a lot of strands of grey in it, and he had wrinkles around the eyes. At 47, somehow he was more handsome than Ethan remembered.

"Justin," Ethan breathed out. He scrunched up his forehead. "Hey. What are you doing in Hartford?"

"What else? Anesthesiology. I'm working with a prenatal surgeon on a case here. I can't believe... wow. It's been, what, 15, 16 years?" Justin looked down at the carriage and then back up at Ethan. "You have a baby?"

"My ex-wife had a baby and-" He stopped talking as Justin's eyes went wide.

"Wife!?" Justin exclaimed.

"Oh, yea. You missed a lot." Ethan chuckled.

"So you married a woman and had a baby?" Justin said, still in disbelief.

"No.... I mean yes, I was married to a woman and we did have a baby, but not this baby...." He trailed off. Justin started chuckling. "It's a long story," Ethan said sheepishly.

"Well I got time," he said as he sat in the nearest chair. "Surgery doesn't start until 8am. I scrub in at 7."

Ethan sat one seat away from him and said, "Well, after we broke up... I um... had a drug induced one night stand with a woman named Trish and she ended up pregnant. So I married her."

"Ah," Justin said as he took a sip. "It all makes sense now. You always were a true Catholic. So you're still together?" he asked looking down at Ethan's ring.

He looked down at what Justin was looking at then looked back at him. "No, we divorced years ago. I remarried. To a man this time."

Justin touched his heart. "Oh thank God. That makes me feel so much better."

Ethan laughed. He took out his phone and showed his cover picture. "This is Jack, my husband, and our three children. EJ, Ethan Junior, is my son from my first marriage. We adopted Jacqueline and Suzanne."

Ethan talked about his move to Rockville, meeting Jack, falling in love and starting a family. He talked about quitting the financial field to run a Bed and Breakfast and that he also managed an apartment complex. "So yea, things have been pretty good for me."

"What a beautiful family," Justin said. "I'm so happy for you."

"Yea, thanks." He let a moment pass and said, "And you? Did you ever take that trip to Spain?"

"You mean the one we were supposed to go on together?" said Justin with a small smile. Ethan tried hard not to cringe. "Si. I thought it was going to be for two years and I stayed for eleven. Until Ignacio, my love, died from kidney disease."

"I'm so sorry," Ethan said sincerely.

"Thank you." Justin told Ethan how he met Ignacio, who was Italian-American but had been teaching overseas for a few years. They met and quickly fell in love and moved in together. Justin took care of him until the very end.

"After he died, although I had built a life for myself over there, I came back home to be close to family again. I've been back about four years." He stared into Ethan's eyes. "You are the one person I always hoped to run into, and the last person I ever thought I would."

Ethan smiled at him. He hadn't thought about Justin since he told Jack about him many years ago. Seeing him brought back a flood of emotions for him, reminding him of his carefree youth and falling in love with the handsome doctor that was over ten years older than him.

"You look really good, Justin. Are you seeing anyone now?"

"Why, are you offering?" he said with a smile and a twinkle in his eye. Ethan laughed out loud and felt himself blush. "No one important. I think having two great loves in a lifetime is enough for me." He looked at Ethan knowingly. Ethan didn't respond as they stared at each other.

"So," Justin said, changing the subject. "Who is this little guy?"

"Oh," Ethan said. He looked down at the sleeping baby, then back up. "Trish got pregnant again and asked me to be her labor partner."

"That's amazing," he said happily. "It's nice when blended families get along."

"Well, I wouldn't go that far," Ethan said, making Justin laugh. "We're not really a blended family but I would like us to be. I would like us to all get along and see each other more. Jack and Trish... well, they're trying."

Justin cringed. "Ah. You're in a tough spot."

"Yea." Ethan sighed. "But I think we can do it. It will just take a lot of patience on everyone's part."

Justin nodded. "Especially on yours. I hope you're taking care of yourself too. You're still painting?"

"Yep," Ethan said. "Not professionally though. Just for fun and relaxation."

"Well if you're ever selling them, let me know. You are an exceptional artist. I still have the one you did of me in the nude. Ignacio loved it. He said the likeness was uncanny, and you caught a vulnerability that I rarely show to others."

"Thank you." They stared at each other again.

Justin looked away first and took another sip of his coffee. "And how is Carlos?"

Ethan hesitated. "He's.... he's good. He's still in the city, bought a condo and is a life skills coach now. We don't talk as often, we're not as close as we used to be. Jack is not a fan of our friendship at all so..."

"Hm. So the husband made you choose," Justin answered for him. He looked at Ethan and smiled. "Good for Jack." Ethan chuckled, knowing that Carlos was one of the reasons he and Justin ended their relationship.

"Well, I better get going." He stood up and Ethan stood up as well. "It was really good seeing you, Ethan. You look..." Justin stopped and visibly sighed. He reached up to touch Ethan's face gently and said, "Well, you always knew how I felt about you. It won't ever change."

He stepped back and said, "Say hello to your husband for me."

And with that, Justin walked to the nearest trash can, deposited his empty coffee cup and walked away without a glance back. Ethan stood there realizing that he never said goodbye.

~~~

When Ethan returned to the room, Trish was still not there. He went back out to the main desk and asked, "Did she come back?"

"I haven't seen her," the nurse at the station said.

Nurse Elyse came from one of the rooms. Ethan called to her, "Elyse?"

She walked over with concern all over her face. "Ramona told me before she left. She hasn't come back?"

"No. It's been over two hours. And her clothes and bag are still there so she couldn't have gone far." Ethan was beginning to get worried.

"Okay," she said calmly. "Go inside with the baby, I'll alert security to be on the lookout for her. We'll find her."

Ethan nodded and did what he was told. The boy began to cry so Ethan took another bottle out and gave it to him. He sat on the edge of the bed and waited. Twenty minutes later Nurse Elyse came back to the room with a security guard behind her.

Ethan jumped up in a panic. "What!? Is she okay!? What happened!?"

The guard said, "Calm down, sir. Your wife handed me this envelope and said you would come looking for her downstairs and when you did, to give it to you. She got in a cab and left."

"What the fuck do you mean left!?" Ethan said angrily. "She didn't even have clothes on. Her stuff is still here!"

"I'm just telling you, man." He held out the envelope to Ethan.

Ethan, who was still holding the baby, stared at it with wide eyes. The nurse took it from the guard and said, "Do I have your permission to open it?"

Ethan couldn't talk, he just nodded.

Elyse opened it up and in it was a copy of the birth certificate paperwork for the boy, who she named Timothy Jamison Starling, with Ethan's name as the legal father and his address at the Inn as her legal address. On it was a pink post-it note written in Trish's handwriting:

"I'm sorry. I can't do it."

Ethan sat back down holding onto the baby tightly, feeling his panic attack set in.

~~~

Jack's phone rang as he was coming out of the shower. He looked at it and smiled. "Can't sleep thinking of me?"

"Ja... Jack."

Jack's eyes widened, hearing the panic in Ethan's voice. "What's wrong?" Jack asked in alarm. Ethan couldn't get the words out. He began to sob on the phone.

Jack sat on the edge of the bed and called, "Ethan, what's wrong? Ethan? ETHAN!?" Jack had never seen nor heard his husband cry this hard in the nine years they had been together.

Ethan choked out, "She's...she's gone. That... fucking bitch... She did it again."

Jack's eyes went wider. "Hold up. Start all over. Who's gone? Trish!?"

"Yes!" he yelled. "She's gone and she left the baby with me. She... she... aaaah!"

Ethan paced the room with the phone in his hand, tears down his face. He heard Jack call his name a few times but he couldn't answer the phone. He was so angry at her and completely uncertain about what to do.

Nurse Elyse came over. She gently took the phone from his hand and introduced herself. The nurse explained to Jack how Trish told them she was going for a walk around the hospital but snuck out of one of the other entrances. She had filled out all the birth information with Ethan as the child's father. She and the baby were to be discharged that day.