Bittersweet Irish Cream Ch. 20

"Absolutely," Ethan said right away. "We have some packing to do before we move in a few weeks, so we can drop the boys off with you on the way to drop the girls off with my folks."

"That sounds wonderful. Thank you, Ethan," Mallory said. "Jack," she said as she turned from Ethan, "Will you forgive us? Forgive me? Truly?"

Jack responded by walking over and giving Mallory a hug. "Oooh!" she exclaimed and hugged him back.

Ethan said, "We're going to go pick up our son now. I'm sure his other grandparents are anxious for the news. We'll bring them over to you on Friday. Sounds good?"

"Sounds like a plan," Tim said. They said their goodbyes and headed out of the courtroom.

At the top of the stairs Ethan turned around and hugged Jack tightly. "We have another son together."

"Yea, we do," Jack said relieved. He didn't know if it would all work out, but he was thankful that it did.

Ethan pulled back and looked at Jack who smiled at him. But Ethan sensed that the smile did not reach Jack's eyes. "What's up?"

Jack shrugged. "Nothing right now. Everything is great. Perfect."

"Buuuut?" Jack just looked at him. "Something's up. What are you hiding from me?" Ethan asked. Jack still did not respond. Ethan was thoughtful. "You answered Tim really quickly there. How do you know that she's alive, Jack? Did you have something to do with Trish's statement?"

"Can we talk about it later?" Jack pleaded. He knew he had to tell Ethan what happened, but didn't want to ruin the moment.

Ethan glared at him. "You did a Red Jackie thing, didn't you? Without telling me?" Jack did not respond at first. "Did you find her, force her to-"

Jack came closer and kissed his lips. "I will tell you later. Right now, I just want us to celebrate this moment. Can we do that?"

Ethan felt slighted but he kept his cool. "Okay, Jack. But when I bring it back up, you'll tell me everything, right?"

"Everything. Promise."

Ethan reached down and took Jack's hand. "Let's go get our boy and take him home."

~~~~~~

Jack was doing sit ups bare-chested as Ethan came into the apartment from dropping off the children in Connecticut a few days later. Ethan's head was spinning with the phone call he received on the way back home. He closed the bedroom door and stood against it.

Jack did a couple more then sat up. "Stop staring at me and get over here. We're kid free and the boxes can wait." He grinned at his husband.

"Did you seduce Carlos to get him to give up Trish's whereabouts?"

Jack lost his smile. They stared at each other. Jack stood up, turned around and put on his tank top. He said, "Carlos knew where she was this whole time. I told you that." He faced Ethan and said, "I had to make him talk."

"By trying to fuck him, and when he turned you down, you shot him?"

Jack scoffed out a laugh. "Is that what he told you?"

"Answer the question," Ethan said seriously.

Jack sighed. "Okay. I took him to dinner, got him talking, went with him to his house-"

"You asked him to take you home?"

Jack gave him a look. "Not like that."

"But you said you wanted to see his apartment? His bedroom?"

"Okay, I see where this is going," Jack said as he began to walk toward him.

But Ethan stuck his hand out. "Don't come close to me. Answer the question."

Jack sighed again. "Yes. I told him I wanted to go to his house for a nightcap, to keep talking. I did not tell him I wanted to sleep with him."

"But were you going to fuck him for information?" Ethan asked.

"Is that a fucking joke?" Jack asked back.

"Answer the fucking question!" Ethan said angrily.

"No!" Jack yelled. "Fuck no!"

"So you didn't push him on the bed and get on top of him and be willing to spread your cheeks to get him to tell you where Trish was?"

"Ethan he's twisting-"

"Answer the fucking question!" Ethan yelled.

"Ugh," Jack groaned and rubbed his hands over his face. "Can you stop yelling at me? I did what I needed to do to get him talking. I would not have had any kind of sexual contact with him. In fact, that's when I pulled out the gun, when he basically said to me that he would give me her location if I sucked his dick. That's when I threatened him."

"You didn't just threaten him though. You fired your gun at him. At his head," said Ethan between his teeth.

Jack hesitated. "Yes."

Ethan stared at him. "Were you trying to kill him?"

"Nooooo," Jack said, exasperated. "It was a graze, that's all."

"But would you have killed him, Jack? If he didn't give you the information would you have killed him? If you could have gotten away with it, that I would have never known, would you have shot and killed my childhood best friend?"

Jack crossed his arms and stared at Ethan. Ethan scoffed. "I can't even look at you." He turned around and tried to open the door.

Jack ran behind him and pushed the door closed. "Ethan-"

Ethan turned around and pushed him back. "Do you have the least bit of remorse for anything that you did?"

"I did it for our family!"

"No!" Ethan said and pushed him again. "You went too far, Jack! You tried to kill Carlos, then tried to kill Trish-"

"I didn't- that didn't happen! I would never hurt Trish, she's family!" He grabbed Ethan's arm. "And okay, yes, I pretended to seduce Carlos. But you know why I knew it would work? Because Carlos is dirty. Every inch I gave him he took and pushed on. He's not your friend, E."

Ethan pushed Jack's hand off his arm. "Carlos knew what you were doing, Jack. Your alter ego isn't as smart as you think!"

"Bullshit!"

"He was playing along with you. He wouldn't have slept with you. He wouldn't have done that to me. He just didn't think he would try to kill him over it!"

"Ethan, he was not playing along. He was being...him. Selfish and self serving. You still have on blinders when it comes to him!" Jack yelled, now completely upset with how Ethan wasn't giving him a chance to talk.

"I don't have blinders," Ethan said angrily. "I know he can be dirty but he would never be that low."

Jack scoffed. "I asked him specifically, 'You would really fuck your best friend's husband?' And he said unequivocally, 'I won't tell him if you won't. It will be a secreto sexy.'" He spat out the words in disgust. "The fact that he would say that made me know for sure that he would have slept with me if I let him. But I didn't go there for that. I just did what I needed to do-"

"No, Jack," Ethan cut him off again. "You're going to tell yourself that what you did was fine because the outcome outweighs the path to get there. But the thing is, the path to get there has consequences. Every time you bring out Red Jackie, you always have good intentions but what about how you got there? The secrecy? The violence? The complete lack of consideration for another human life! Even your own!"

"Ethan!" Jack tried to reach out but Ethan slapped Jack's hand away.

"Don't touch me!" Ethan yelled again. "The fact that you would go so far-"

"Do you really think I would cheat on you!?" Jack shouted.

"I don't know, Jack!" Ethan shouted back. "I don't know who you are when you're Red Jackie. Maybe you would have fucked him, and when he gave up the address then shot him dead, so I would never found out."

Jack almost laughed again. "You can't be fucking serious."

"I'm dead ass serious," Ethan retorted. "And until I can figure out if I can go on with someone like you, I don't want you here."

"What!?" Jack yelled.

"Pack a bag and get out," Ethan said seriously.

"Ethan!" Jack came closer.

"Get the FUCK out of my face, Jack," Ethan growled. "I don't care where you go, but I'm not sharing a bed with you. I'm not moving into a house with you. I don't even know if I want to be with you!"

Jack stared at him open-mouthed. Ethan hadn't been that angry with him since he left him in front of the Inn to go to Ireland all those years ago. There was nothing he could say to change his mind back then and Jack knew it was the same now.

But Jack was also hurt. Ethan believed Carlos over him, and that was hurtful. Jack turned around and grabbed a bag from the top of the closet. He silently put in some undergarments and toiletries and came to the door. Ethan stepped out of his way.

Jack opened the door and said, "I'll be at the farm. For when you're ready to talk."

Jack left the basement apartment and went upstairs. He stood in front of the Inn for a while, looking across the street at the house with the For Sale sign that now had a SOLD plaque across it. Jack sighed and started walking very slowly in the direction of Frazier Orchards.

~~~~~~

Ethan stared moodily into his gin and tonic, heavily on the gin.

Brayden, Jamel, and BJ sat with him at Red Rock Bar and Grill with their own respective drinks. After individually listening to Ethan bitch and moan for the last couple of days about what happened, and no one getting the full story, Brayden called an emergency meeting so Ethan could properly explain why he and Jack were on the outs.

No one spoke for a long moment after Ethan finished telling his friends what Carlos told him and the fight he had with Jack. "I got a question," BJ finally said something. "Who the fuck is Red Jackie?"

Ethan snorted. Jamel smiled into his glass. Brayden gave him a condescending look.

"You know who Red Jackie is," Brayden said. "You and I have firsthand knowledge of when Red Jackie would come out when he was younger and we had to literally fight him to put him back in his cage."

"Yea, but I didn't know we had an official name for it," BJ said, rubbing his auburn beard.

"I didn't know either," Brayden said. "I'm pretty sure Ethan made it up." Brayden looked at him and smiled. Ethan gave him a small smile back.

"I have a question for you," Jamel said. "Did you ever suspect that Carlos knew where Trish was all this time?"

"Yes, but..." Ethan sighed. "I figured if he really knew eventually he'd tell me."

"But he did know and didn't tell you, E," Brayden brought up. "Jack had to put a gun to his head to get him to talk. And I kinda feel like you're brushing that under the rug because you're so pissed at Jack." Ethan gave him a cold look.

"Which you have every right to be," said Jamel gently. "I hear you when you say that Jack took it too far. I don't think he would have slept with him, but even getting Carlos all riled up to the point where he thought that's what Jack was offering, that's not okay. And he should have told you his plans, before he executed them."

"Thank you," Ethan said, grateful for him.

"But I agree with Bray," Mel said next. "Carlos has been lying to you for ten months. Besides all of the other stuff, that doesn't sound like a real friend. Jack wouldn't have done what he did if he didn't feel like he had other options."

"Listen, I will deal with Carlos, that's not the problem right now. The problem is..." Ethan struggled to find the words. "For years, I have just learned to accept Jack for who he is. When I met him I thought he was an arrogant, snarky asshole."

"He's still all that," said BJ. Jamel and Brayden chuckled.

"But then I got to know him and I discovered there is so much more to him," Ethan continued. "That he has depth to him. That he's intelligent and grounded. That he's thoughtful and dependable. That he's so full of love and just needed a reason to love back, freely and completely."

"You changed him for the better, E," Brayden said. "He became such a different person when he met you. Happier. Less isolated. Less angry."

"Right. But then Ireland happened," Ethan said.

"What happened in Ireland?" Jamel asked curiously.

Ethan and Brayden exchanged looks. "Let's just say Jack found closure on what happened to his parents," Brayden said. Jamel's one eyebrow went up.

BJ turned to Jamel. "Shit, I don't know what happened either," he said with a shrug. "I stopped asking years ago."

"And when he came back, he truly let me in for the first time," Ethan kept going, not wanting to divulge any more about Ireland. "And I understood why he was the way he was. And I thought that by settling his past, that part of him was over. But then breaking Carlos' nose and... other things he's done since then... How can I look my kids in the eye and tell them violence is not the answer while their own father practices violence as an art form?"

"Listen, Jack has poor impulse control. Everybody at this table knows that," Brayden said. "But he also has morals. It's not like he goes around kicking the shit out of everyone just for shits and giggles. He always has a reason when he gets violent. Whether it's justified is debatable."

"Growing up, Jack never started a fight," BJ said. "But he had no problem punching people in the face, but only if they crossed him or anyone he cared about. He's taken a swing at pretty much everyone we know because they violated some internal moral code he's had, including me. And Sam. And Brayden. And Liam. And Connor. Even Henry, he swung on when he was 8-years-old. I'm really surprised he hasn't taken a swing at you yet."

"Principled," Jamel chimed in. "That's how Connor described Jack when we first met. Principled and hot tempered. And Afia always said that Jack was the most loyal person you'd ever meet. He'd take a bullet for anyone he loved. He would also kill for anyone he loved, if he had to. It's who he is at his core."

"And isn't it crazy that you all just accepted that about him?" Ethan said to them. "That I've just accepted it? What if one day it all goes wrong? Carlos doesn't own a gun but what if the next guy does? I'm not trying to be a widower with four kids because Jack feels principled about something or he needs to avenge someone he loves, yall. Even if it's me. If he can't control his impulse for violence, then... I don't know if I can still be with him."

They were all quiet after that, silently drinking. BJ began talking.

"A couple of months back, Matty was in here, drunk and feeling sorry for himself. Jack came in to grab dinner, and Matty started goading him. You all know what Matty is like." The other three grunted in disapproval and agreement.

"Jack tried to ignore him, he really did. But Matty just kept going, saying shit about EJ needing real male influences-" Ethan looked up sharply. "Yea. I know. That's what started pissing Jack off. But he said he promised you that he wouldn't beat the shit out of him again or something like that.

"But then Matty being Matty-" They all grunted again. "Matty got in his face and threw out some homophobic slurs. So Jack headbutted him. Then kneed him in the nuts. That shit was classic." BJ chuckled.

"This isn't making me feel better," Ethan said, annoyed.

"Yea, where are you going with this?" Brayden said.

"Just listen," said BJ. "So I ran over there because the Red Jackie that I knew growing up, once he got started getting violent, he wouldn't stop until someone physically stopped him. So when I saw Jack attack first, I'm thinking 'Aawww shit, here we go.' But he just picked up his food and walked away. And I was like 'Oh shit. I guess being with Ethan is changing him.' That was seriously my first thought."

BJ leaned back and said, "So maybe Red Jackie isn't so Red anymore. Maybe more like, Pink Jackie." He lifted up his glass and took a sip. Brayden laughed out loud and Jamel smiled again. Ethan couldn't help but to smile too.

Jamel said, "If he's changing for the better, it's because of you and the kids. I think the conversation you need to have with him is not that Red Jackie makes you angry. But that you don't like when he makes impulsive decisions that lead to violent behavior, which could end in you losing him. And that you want your children to have two stable fathers growing up. Because you and the kids are his whole world."

"You can get through this, E. Admit it, you're never going to leave him," said Brayden, shaking his head. "Against all odds, after everything you have both been through, the love is stronger and deeper. And you're a team, running RedStar Corp together, raising kids, now you got a house... You just need to talk to him. Yall have the kind of love story they make movies out of."

BJ scoffed. "A gangster love story like Jason's Lyric or Goodfellas or..." He looked around at Ethan's narrowed eyes and Jamel and Brayden's snickering. "Sorry, man." Pretty soon they were all snickering.

"Alright, I hear you," Ethan conceded. "I'll talk to Jack. It's been less than a week and I already feel like I can't breathe not being around him, like I'm missing my right lung."

"But first, handle that shit with Carlos," Jamel said seriously. "I don't like it. I don't even know him and I don't believe a single thing he said to you about that night. You told me yourself that he's always tried to get in the way of you having a loving relationship. Maybe being married has staved him off some, but if I'm a betting man, I'd say that he smelled a little weakness in your marriage and took advantage of the situation."

"Mel has a point," Brayden said. "Why did he choose after the court hearing to tell you what happened? Why'd he wait, if he really thought Jack was doing your dirty that night? If it was my best friend, I would have told you that same night, not wait until you had some happy news to share, then completely squash you."

"It doesn't smell right," BJ said in agreement.

"Get to the bottom of what happened that night. Then talk with Jack," Jamel said. Three faces nodded at him.

Ethan groaned and took a large gulp of his drink. They waited. After a moment of silence, he nodded back.

~~~~~~

After receiving the text, Jack came downstairs and opened the front door. His daughters ran to him. "Papa!" they cried.

He hugged them both. "Wow, you've grown so much since the last time I saw you," he teased as he kissed his daughters' faces.

"Papa, you saw us this morning," JC chided.

Jack hugged her again. "You're so smart, you know that?"

"What about meeee!?" Susie whined.

Jack pulled her close as well and kissed the top of her head. "You are also super smart, nae ttal." (my daughter)

"Gamsa hamnida!" (thank you!) she said back to him happily.

EJ tried to walk past him. "Hey Pop. Dad said we're staying here for the night."

"Oh, okay," Jack said as he touched his son's head affectionately. EJ slapped his hand away, making him smile. The kids ran upstairs. Jack walked over to Ethan, who was still holding onto Jamie. "What's up?"

"I have something I need to take care of," Ethan said.

Jack looked at his watch then at him. "At 7 o'clock on a Thursday night?"

"Don't question me. You don't have any right to question where I'm going and what I'm doing," Ethan said tersely. "If you can keep important things from me, then so can I."

Jack nodded slowly. He put his arms out and Jamie practically jumped into them. He held Jamie sideways and gave him raspberries on his neck, making Jamie giggle. Jack laughed with him. He looked up to see Ethan watching them.

"Do what you gotta do," Jack said casually. "I got the kids for the night. And I'll take the girls to school in the morning."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome."

"I'll be back in the morning."

"Sure," Jack said calmly, even though fear was creeping in.

Even though Jack was at the apartment every morning to see the kids off and every night to put them to sleep, he and Ethan did not talk. But when they did, every conversation was tense. Connor told him that Ethan had a "meeting of the minds" with Jamel, BJ and Brayden yesterday. But Jamel wouldn't tell him what was discussed, knowing that Connor would tell Jack straight away.

They stared at each other and then Ethan turned around to leave without saying goodbye. Jack followed him out. At the doorway Jack called out, "E?" Ethan turned around.

"I'm sorry that I lied and schemed behind your back. And I can admit that my actions gave Carlos the ammunition he's always wanted. But I never meant to hurt you this way, to make you lose faith and trust in me. You gotta believe me, that I only wanted to make things right for our family. I love you, Ethan."