All Comments on 'Black Dress'

Maybe she could Write to Him?

How does she respond?

I'd love to hear it.

You really need an editor to elevate your story to the top level. You've got the elements and style. Only thing missing is spelling and syntax.

Don't stop. Just improve.

A good story as far as it went. What is the response from his wife?

Also, it was a little hard to follow as to what he was writing and what was commentary or description. The appropriate use of quotation marks, or displaying his e-mail comments in italics, would have been very helpful.

You need to add one paragraph explaining why they're communicating by e-mail. I'm guessing she's taken the kids to her parents for a visit, while he's had to stay behind, but it would be nice not to have to guess. Otherwise, a nearly-perfect little erotic story.

....the previous but thanks for some hope for fidelity!

....typos! Bad machine, bad!

I appreciate the input. I had a little fight with the submission form trying to get it to accept rtf or something with styling. Gave up in the end.

True on the syntax, typos and flushing out of stories, my bad. I write these things in a flurry for my wife to read, will have to modify for the literotica audience.

loved the story gives me some ideas

Excellent points given, thanks for acknowledging them. It is good to see that some authors ARE trying to get better!

and I can agree on, great little tale. 5 *****

Lovely vignette, but golly, the usage and grammatical errors just about spoil it.

"Waste" is trash - you mean "waist" which is a part of the body.

Learn the difference between it's and its and when to use each.

These words are all pronounced the same, but have very different meanings depending on the spelling - peak, peek and pique. Learn when to use them.

The volunteer editor section of Literotica has lots of people who are willing to help you find errors before you post. Take advantage and best of luck in your writing.

That thing you put a belt around is a WAIST.

WASTING my time trying to educate you people is a WASTE.

That word was just one of the words that you misspelled or misused. Find a proof reader who paid attention and did well in their seventh grade spelling class.

Pretty good little story. An editor would help a great deal.

Certainly not bad! I try my best to not get bogged down in errors.