All Comments on 'Blackmailing My Moms Pt. 04'

Too many grammatical errors. This could be a great story, but the errors and shortness of chapters cause it to go down. I still am looking forward to the next chapter. Maybe Bruce can start fucking them both soon.

Great story line and interesting build up. Unfortunately, the many typos get in the way. Try putting each chapter aside for a day or two, then reading them again to catch the typos.

The story grows, almost as much as his dick. This doesn't erase the typos and spelling errors. I suggest you download a spellchecker programme; it could alleviate a lot of these.

And, once again, PROOF READING IS REQUIRED. If you I'll at ease doing this yourself, ask someone that will be honest with you, someone that speaks well and understands what you are providing = great entertainment for your readers.

I would gladly be an editor for you. If all your stories are about this length I could have them back in less than 24 hours and I think you would be happy with the results. Looking forward to the next edition.

I was going to be completely dismissive of this series just based on the first page of the first chapter, but now I'm hooked. However, you would be doing yourself a huge favor if you worked with a Literotica editor. Improved grammar and spelling would make the stories more pleasant to read.

I think you could be a good idea person, for a writer with actual talent and literacy. Pity you can’t seem to make it happen on your own.

You have a good story going here. But like several of the others have said, you do need to proof read, also if you are using some spell checking program make sure it is not changing some of your words.

That's a good start plz finish

Jh

Awesome!

Love how Dan gets to use direct and indirect blackmail. Keeps it fresh. Wish they were not so short but as long as they keep coming its worth it.

Thanks for sharing your work!

You really need to use an editor. There's so much proofreading necessary. I like where it's going though . fun