Blaire and Foster - A New Direction Pt. 03

We grabbed a coffee later that day and I explained that I didn't want this to be over, I just wanted to know why we were drifting apart. Had I been too persistent with my flirtation, had I not given her enough space to sort out her past relationships, was I too intense with my questions? She said that she had thought things were fine and wasn't sure what I was referring to, she said that she knew I loved her, but just didn't know if she could give me what I wanted. I didn't know what she meant, was she trying to tell me that she isn't bisexual and doesn't want to be with a woman anymore? I asked her about that and she insisted that she might still end up with a woman, she didn't know the future. I wasn't sure what she thought I wanted but all I knew at that point was that we had a connection, and I wanted to have a chance down the road, when she felt comfortable to start dating again, to explore us. No one knew if we'd last longer than a year, but I was waiting for a chance to try it out since what we had did check many boxes of what I had been looking for since I was 15.

We decided that we both wanted to stay in each other's lives and after having that hard discussion over coffee, we hugged for a long time outside the coffee shop and I could feel her warmth again. She had tried to share more and I felt less in the dark about what was going on between us. She suggested that we celebrate Christmas the night before my flight back home, since she would be leaving later that day once everyone had vacated the floor.

Blaire

Ever since Banff, things had gotten complicated. Naomi thought I was kind of crazy meeting a total stranger for a romantic ski holiday after only chatting three times and having one video call, but I wanted to live on the edge and liked Andrew's energy. The weekend didn't disappoint, I was super horny as I arrived at the hotel. I decided to check in and hit the sauna before he arrived. He would fly in from Seattle later that afternoon and the anticipation was high. I told him to call my cell when he arrived and I'd meet him at the hotel lobby. I prepped myself and got on the cutest outfit, I ordered a bottle of wine and had a glass as I waited, hoping the wine would calm my nerves. When my cell finally rang, I was halfway through the bottle and feeling no pain.

I rode the elevator to the lobby and the second he walked through the automatic doors I couldn't help but grin from ear to ear. He walked over and his voice was deeper than I had realized from the video chat. He had a sporty outfit and looked ready to go hiking, but that was the last thing on my agenda. We barely spoke as we rode the elevator up to the 6th floor. As we arrived at the room, I nervously swiped the card but it wouldn't open the door. He grasped his large hand over mine and slowly swiped it in such a sensuous way that I felt my head get dizzy. The green light flashed and he leaned his back on the door and guided me inside. We stood their for a second just looking at each other, then he leaned in and kissed me. We ordered room service later that night after burning many calories in bed, we tried things I had never tried before and just followed his lead. Unlike with Bella, I didn't worry whether I was doing things right or not, since this was the kind of sex I was used to.

We spent almost the whole weekend in bed except for two midday hikes and one dinner at a local steakhouse. He was a man of few words, but he was strong so I felt like nothing could hurt me if he was around. I had a nagging feeling that if things kept feeling so good with Andrew, I would have to say something to Bella, but now it was even harder, since I had been holding on to this secret for weeks and pretending everything was okay between us. Guilt slowly started eating me, but I didn't like the feeling, so I buried it deeper and indulged in the time I had alone with Andrew. He was a gentleman and easy, there were no complicated conversations and although I could tell he was trying to get to know me, I didn't feel the need to tell him everything like I had done so naturally with Bella.

We had decided at the end of the weekend that we would meet up again over the Christmas holidays, he would come meet my parents and then we'd spend a week at a resort in Mexico. It was just one month away so that gave me lots of time to come clean with Bella, so she'd know that I wasn't interested in her like she was in me. It would be a hard thing to confess, but I loved her as a friend and couldn't imagine losing her from my life. I hoped that she would understand, I mean I had always told her I wasn't ready for a relationship with her, that I didn't know if I could be with her romantically... well not in those exact words, but I think I was clear enough for her to know.

Once I was back at the College though, it didn't feel so easy to tell her. I mean, I knew she liked me a lot and I was afraid to hurt her. Day after day, we hung out and I couldn't bring it up. I tried to act as normally as I could but it was eating away at me. Instead of ripping off the bandaid, I ran away every time that things started to get too close. I thought that hopefully she would get the idea without me actually having to say the words. I was stressed with exams and papers as the semester was coming to an end, so that gave me some distance as well. I started chatting with Andrew every few nights. He was busy with his work too, so he was okay going a few days without talking, which made me feel like there was little pressure on me to be anything other than just me, unlike the feeling I was starting to have with Bella as she constantly tried to read more into our friendship. Maybe I was misunderstanding something, but she was not giving me the space that I suddenly wanted, to see what this thing with Andrew might become.

A few days before the holiday was due to start, he told me that he had booked our tickets to Dominican Republic instead and that he found a luxury private couple's resort for our Christmas getaway. I asked him how much I owed him, since I was perfectly capable to pay my own way, but he insisted that it was his treat after I had sprung for the Banff hotel. I couldn't contain my excitement and called my parents to tell them about Andrew. I explained how we'd met, how things were developing quickly between us and how he didn't have anywhere to be for Christmas since his family was from New Zealand and couldn't afford to all come to be with him (he had three siblings, who each had a spouse and a few kids), so they insisted that I invite him to join us at the cabin, as I had thought they would. They asked a few questions about him but didn't want to pry too much, leaving more topics for conversation when they met him.

Bella

I had spent a few days trying to find the perfect Christmas present for Blaire and had finally decided on a specially ordered left-handed fountain pen and journal. The store insisted that they could receive the pen in time with their last holiday shipment arriving the day before Blaire was making me Christmas dinner. I also found some earrings that matched her favourite hoodies and monogrammed charcuterie board with a few varieties of fancy French cheese that she could either devour as dessert or bring home with her to her family. I took two days to plan the note I would write inside the cover of the journal, it closed off with the words- 'I hope to be a more important part of the next chapter of your story'. Poetic and heartfelt was the tone I was trying to exude. We had had a few rough patches but after the talk at the coffee shop, I thought I shouldn't give up on what we had so easily, I needed to stay authentic, committed and sooner or later, she'd be ready to take things to the next level. If I trusted her word, then I had nothing to fear or be anxious about.

As we sat together at a table in the 4th floor lounge, with a beautiful roasted turkey breast and all the fixings in front of us, I couldn't help but feel a sense of anticipation- it was fitting that we were the last two residents left on the floor that night, just like the first day we met. I had popped a bottle of prosecco and poured out two glasses, then raised it in a toast, waiting for her to join in the festivities.

"Here's to my first semester of college completed, to the woman that I believe is the most beautiful, brilliant and creative one I have ever met. From the first moment we met, I knew we'd be kindred spirits, and I look forward to what next semester brings as we become more and more ourselves. *Cling*" I tapped the rim of my glass lightly on hers while staring into her deep green eyes, as memories flashed back to the first time I looked into her eyes as I stood naked in the shower.

She smiled back silently and took a large gulp of the prosecco. I wasn't sure but she seemed a bit nervous too. Maybe she was thinking that tonight could be the night to test the waters again. Blaire took hold of a serving spoon and started to load a plate full of Christmas deliciousness for me. I told her about how excited I was to get back to Haiti and see my family, she said she was so excited for me, and couldn't imagine being this far from them for so long. She could see her parents any time and was still really excited to head to their cabin for the break. I asked whether they had any special traditions for the holiday, and in between bitefuls of mashed potato and gravy, I suddenly remembered that we had talked about doing Vegas for New Year's.

"Blaire, I totally forgot that we said we should go to Las Vegas for all the buffets just before New Year's. I'm sure we could still get a flight if you'd like to go. What do you think?" I blurted out in excited anticipation of being able to get away with her and have some time to reconnect, just the two of us.

"Oh yeah, I forgot we had talked about that. I'm actually pretty busy this break so I don't think it can happen, maybe we can do it in the Spring?" she suggested, looking at her plate and trying to choose what to eat next.

"Oh, okay, well, let's make sure we get on that plan as soon as we get back after the holiday," I chimed in, trying to show how much the idea meant to me. We ate for a few minutes in silence. The food was delicious and the later it got, the more I was feeling overcome with sadness that I wouldn't see her for a few weeks. I forced a smile and said, "You know, I'm really going to miss you this holiday! Your weekend in Banff was hard enough, but three weeks in a row, seems unbearably long to me right now."

She smiled back and topped up her glass for the third time, which started to loosen her up a bit. She started to tell me about her usual Christmas traditions and as she recounted various parts of the story I could see the old familiar sparkle of nostalgia flash in her eyes, she shared about her father's attempts at over the top house lighting displays that could likely be seen from space, and her mother's marathon baking sessions that left their tiny family with more sweets than an entire town might need in a year. She told me about Christmas Eve with all the neighbours who came over for drinks, treats and carols. It sounded quite dreamy and part of me wished I could've stayed to experience her in her comfort zone too. I missed her carefree ease that I knew from our first weeks of getting to know each other. Things had become so intense and serious and I didn't really know how we had gotten there. What she was describing felt like her natural habit, where she could be her optimistic, joyful self.

As the supper came to an end and we finished the entire lemon cheesecake she had promised to make me since our first week of hanging out, I told her I had a little gift for her. A panicked look came across her face, as she had clearly not gotten anything. I could read her face and told her that this meal, which she had bought all the ingredients for and slaved over all day to make, was the most amazing present I could have received. She didn't seem to be convinced but let me continue with my presentation. I passed her each of the gifts that I had carefully selected and wrapped. When she opened the final gift, the pen and the journal, I told her that I felt like she had some amazing journeys ahead of her and I wanted her to have somewhere to write all about them. She smiled and clasped my hand, squeezing it as she thanked me and said it was too much.

I grinned at her and suggested, "A meal and a hug and we can call it even?" She stood up and came into my opened arms swiftly. Maybe it was the prosecco's fault but she held me tighter than she had in months. I put my fingers in her hair, twirling her locks around my fingers and breathed deeply, hoping she'd never let go. Her hand rested on the small of my back, and I could feel her short fingernails scratching my back a little, up and down the spinal column. It felt so good I closed my eyes and all the dreams I'd had of kissing her and lying beside her naked body with my hand on her soft stomach flashed in my mind's eye. I held her closer than I'd held anyone before and I felt that all the fear and worry that had kept us distant in the last few months, was melting away.

We embraced in that dimly lit room for what felt like an hour, although the clock on the microwave confirmed that it was more like 5 minutes. As she finally leaned back, I stopped her for a moment, staring into her eyes longingly. There were tears in her eyes that I didn't understand. She had shown no sadness, no emotion other than happy and stressed in all the months I knew her. I wanted to lean down and kiss each of her teary eyes, I wanted to hold her all night and tell her I wasn't going anywhere. I had no idea what was making her sad, but I wanted to take that feeling away from her. But I also worried, if I leaned in for a kiss would that be what she wanted, she hadn't given me any verbal go ahead, after telling me she wanted to take things slow. This was slower than I had usually gone, but our connection felt like it could survive anything, so I didn't mind taking my time, knowing it would make her feel safer in the long run.

We stared into each other's eyes for another few minutes. Then finally, I couldn't resist any more, I asked her, "Could I kiss you?" She looked over my shoulder, but said it was okay. I gently took her face between my hands and leaned in. I had waited so long for that moment, we kissed but I could sense she didn't have the same desire that I had, as her arms hung limp at her sides. Something was different than before.

Blaire

As Bella and I stood in the lounge, kissing for the first time since our September night of passion, I couldn't help but be frozen with guilt. I liked the feeling of being held by her, I liked the feeling of her lips on my own, they were softer, but also there was so much more yearning in the way they moved than the kisses I shared with Andrew. A few weeks from now, Andrew would have met my family and we'd be packing our bags to on a couple's retreat and here I was kissing a woman... a woman that I also loved, even though it didn't feel like what I thought love was supposed to feel like. What was I doing?

I hated having a secret from Bella and knew deep down that she was trying her best to wait patiently for me to give her the green light. So why was I not giving us a chance. Andrew was amazing too, so kind, easy, simple. We had raw sexual energy, and I felt safe with him. But I also didn't feel like I could tell him all the things I had told Bella in our first few weeks together. Just because he could fend off an attacker or danger, was that the only type of security I was hoping for? I stood blankly in front of Bella, pressing my lips into hers, but unable to touch her any more than that, as thought of shame flooded my mind. I had to tell her the truth, I had to tell her about Andrew, about Banff and our upcoming retreat. She needed to know. I wasn't even sure what I'd say though, this thing with Andrew was moving fast and was so new, but I still wasn't sure he was the one either.

I couldn't end our time together on such a negative note, so with a flash of resolution, I decided that I'd enjoy this moment with her and have the conversation after the holiday if things worked out well with Andrew. If it didn't, well, at least I wouldn't have sabotaged the possibility I had with her. I pressed my mouth against hers with urgency and lifted my hand around her back to pull her in closer to me than we'd been in a while. She let out a sigh of pleasure and proceeded to push her hand up under my shirt, rubbing my back in slow circles that made shivers go up my spine. Maybe I did enjoy the female touch as much as male. I mean, other than our early flirtations, I really haven't had too many times to compare it to, but this felt nice, even natural. She leaned in close to my ear and bit gently on the lobe before kissing my neck, right behind my ear; I let out a little whimper as my nipples hardened and I couldn't help but press my clit hard onto her thigh, rubbing forcefully...

"Want to come to my room this time?" she whispered with warm breath into my right ear. I just responded with an equally breathless sigh, 'uh huh'. We walked down the hall with no awareness of our surroundings, my whole vagina was throbbing with anticipation and she walked with determined strides. I could barely keep up but her hand held mine tightly, leading me to a night that would certainly end in bliss.

We barely made it through the door before we were both ripping off each other's clothes and caressing every inch of each other's bodies with fingers and mouth. She picked me up with one arm and pushed me up against the wall, reaching her other hand between my legs to caress my clit in gentle circles then she devoured my nipples with her mouth. I held tightly around her neck and pressed harder against her fingers, urging her to put them inside of me. I pressed my pelvis down on her hand hard, letting out a loud moan, that would have certainly busted us if there had been anyone left on the floor. I put my feet down on the ground and pushed her aggressively on to the floor, thankfully our clothes were strewn all over so she didn't land on the cold tiles but on a soft mound of cloth instead. I pulled her legs open and pulled her towards me, so that she sat on me in full lotus. First semester had included a class on the kama sutra as a couple's therapy tool and I had been dying to try it out. I also thought this would be a good chance to slow things down a little. I didn't know if Bella was afraid I'd change my mind, but she was moving so fast that I doubted we needed more than 5 minutes before we'd both be satisfied.

Bella

As Blaire tucked her legs around me, her feet nestled behind my butt, I pulled my body closer to hers and wrapped my legs around her waist. For a second we paused, staring directly into each other's eyes, arms wrapped around the other's back. We were still breathing heavily, but as I looked into her eyes, our breaths started to synch up. Breathing in deeply, I could feel warmth building between our bodies and the wetness between our legs was melting together. I pressed my pelvis into hers and rocked back and forth in time with our breaths, forward as we breathed in, and backwards as we breathed out together. Her hands held my thighs close to her and I reached out to caress her breasts, causing her to close her eyes and arch her shoulders back. I leaned in to pull her closer, and we started kissing between breaths, tongues flicking playfully in each other's mouths between exhales. She started to suck on my chest, along the line of my collarbone, and I rocked my hips faster, feeling just enough pressure on my clit to make me moan, rhythmically with each rock.

I reached for her hand and pushed it towards my vaginal opening, and as she stroked next to my clit with the palm of her hand, she started teasing my opening with one and then two fingers, circling around the muscle and then slipping firmly inside. I reached my own hand between her thighs as she let out a deep sigh of pleasure, she wiggled her thighs a little wider apart and I did the same making sure there was ample room for us both to make some magic simultaneously. I tried to copy her strokes and my hand slid so easily in all of her juices.